Sep
04
2013
smiffbib
socially acceptable f@#% off!
Articles
Aug
29
2013
Ain’t no rest… really
Aug
28
2013
… And then he was a freshman?? Really??
Aug
01
2013
Meet the tallest :)
I don’t write often about Tallest Child… Because she is all growed up… and out on her own with the tiniest of all child… cooking another one in her belly!
But this weeks writing prompt only could be dedicated to her… because well… ha! she was freaking stuck!!
“A time somebody got stuck”
This is my baby girl… My daughter… and if you have been reading for a while her stories are intertwined with mine through out… I write about her on Mothers Day cause I’m her mama dammit! I shared my angels girls story of her angel… (with her permission) … because I was so proud of her… She brings me joy … She is part of every humorous story I share about small child growing up in fact… she was a key part to smiffbib even being created… I’m sure there are a million more tall child stories on here… but I’ve linked in a lot if you want some history on this beautiful woman pictured above… My god I love her… and how we show our love? By embarrassing the shit out of her!
“A time somebody got stuck”
She was standing on the stairs that went upstairs, I was standing in the kitchen below her in a Romeo and Juliet almost moment… I say almost because we aren’t Romeo and Juliet… and then… without really understanding why… she decided to shove her knee into the metal bars of the banister… you know… to see if it fit…. She stood there nonchalantly for a moment… trying to slide it back out… but after a few minutes began to panic… We (The smalls father and I) took a few minutes to laugh hysterically… trying to push her … and pull her knee… before I began to panic!… I start thinking the fire department is going to have to come and cut her out of this thing… when the father type figure had a genius idea…. Butter! you should use butter to get out of these kinds of things… and I run to the fridge…. no butter…. BUT! we own butter flavored Pam… which is really the same thing… sprayed her knee… and rescued her from its clutches…Never to be lived down again…
Psst… Tallest Child… you know about the mothers curse right?.. those Tinys are gonna make for some great stories!!!
Jul
23
2013
Coffee…. Coffee Coffee…. Coffee Coffee Coffee
“Write a post inspired by the word: Coffee”
The biggest compliment in my world that I can give is “I love you more than coffee” … Because to know me… is to know my obsession with coffee…. I love iced in the summer… hot in the winter and fall… Vanilla flavoring… Hazelnut…. dark roast… free trade …. organic… oh my god… I totally typed orgasmic instead of organic right there…. it might be a little too close to the truth for my comfort…. Mmmmm Coffee
I drink it downtown… mom and pop shops… even the evil Starbucks… I buy my beans from a local roaster… I grind them at home… All good things come with coffee: Sunday Mornings are my favorite… Sunday Morning on CBS… coffee in my over-sized Winnie the pooh cup… Wednesday Night Lessons… dropping small child off at piano and driving through with Mr. Amazing for something warm and caffeinated (He is a chai guy) … I remember getting through many college years solely on coffee…. Even Folgers coffee… from my friends pot… with coffee mate creamer… and fake sugar is like a comforting hug from the safest place on earth….
Coffee scented candles, Chocolate covered coffee beans, coffee flavored toffee…. I love it!
You think I am a little crazy… admit it… obsessed even… but I totally didn’t write this poem about coffee…
An Ode To Coffee
By Ray DavidsonSleep is for the weak, someone I know once said,
I want to feel alive and not just temporarily dead,Tis’ better to be conscious, than to sleep away our life,
Besides it gives us more time to deal with all our strife.Oh the nay sayers will say, you are crazy to be like that,
Who wants to give up that bed to put on their coat and hat?To go off to work and play and start another grueling day,
Mister you are really crazy, to be thinking like that way.But I have a secret weapon to fight away those dreams,
These things can pack a whallop, these special little beans.
I want to feel alive and not just temporarily dead,Tis’ better to be conscious, than to sleep away our life,
Besides it gives us more time to deal with all our strife.Oh the nay sayers will say, you are crazy to be like that,
Who wants to give up that bed to put on their coat and hat?To go off to work and play and start another grueling day,
Mister you are really crazy, to be thinking like that way.But I have a secret weapon to fight away those dreams,
These things can pack a whallop, these special little beans.
They give me rise to chaos and funny nonsense like this,
To write such goofy things and make me feel this bliss,
That I get from drinking coffee, it has me to spread it’s voice,
Coffee, the breakfast of champions, caffeine the drug of choice.
So sleep away your cares, you’re all a bunch of lazies!
I’ve got to go work and deal with all those bunch of crazies.
So goodbye to you in slumber when everyone is at that brink.
There’ll be no sleep for this guy, well, maybe just a wink.
Jul
11
2013
ThemeSong Thursday…. Be okay today
A moment of clarity… in the middle of the busiest week of the summer… in the middle of everyone’s birthdays… in the midst of work… the flu… colds… eye infections.. pneumonia… ear infections… and the bloody noses that have taken up residence in our home… Today it came… a moment of clarity… and here is the themesong of the day… and I know that maybe I will be okay…
Jun
26
2013
Oh the drama!
Jun
12
2013
The Lake – Edgar Allan Poe
Unplugged all weekend
THE LAKE.
In youth’s spring, it was my lot
To haunt of the wide earth a spot
The which I could not love the less;
So lovely was the loneliness
Of a wild lake, with black rock bound.
And the tall pines that tower’d around.
But when the night had thrown her pall
Upon that spot — as upon all,
And the wind would pass me by
In its stilly melody,
My infant spirit would awake
To the terror of the lone lake.
Yet that terror was not fright —
But a tremulous delight,
And a feeling undefin’d,
Springing from a darken’d mind.
Death was in that poison’d wave
And in its gulf a fitting grave
For him who thence could solace bring
To his dark imagining;
Whose wild’ring thought could even make
An Eden of that dim lake.
Edgar Allan Poe
Apr
30
2013
Smiffbib Sangria… Seriously
Prompt: Refreshments anyone? Prepare a drink for us and share the recipe!
Simple Sangria… Wow… This is the most random post ever!
Okay… So I don’t cook… but I sure love to eat!
(I totally cook … sometimes… just so you know)
Well… I am no bartender… But I sure love wine!
Smiffbib Sangria … Because this whole recipe resonates with the I don’t care attitude – 1 bottle of white wine (I love THIS one! 3 cans of Fresca, add sliced fruit (peaches, strawberries, grapes, etc whatever is left over from the kids lunch works for me!! HA!)
Sip it… Fill a tumbler… bathe in it… whichever your style …
What! that wasn’t what you were expecting out of me?? Not enough Smiffbib in the Sangria??? Here! Visit my drunk tweet post… because… well… Drunk Tweets!
Apr
26
2013
Kicking in the general direction :)
G-Chat
Mr. Amazing: … so get this… I walk over to a Co-Workers’ desk this morning and lean against the wall and start talking to him, I realize he looks distracted, won’t look me in the face… etc… weird… so as I am walking away, I realize that my zipper is all the way down, like scary low… and I am like … OMG! run to the bathroom and then come back to tell you… yeah… okay, and you realize that this is the guy that I told earlier in the year, that BFGoodrich invented the zipper yeah…
me: ROTFLMAO!
Mr. Amazing: he invented the zipper Kerry
me: I totally blogged that! (TRUST ME People… you want to read that)
Mr. Amazing: good thing
me: People loved it
Mr. Amazing: yeah, I used to make you laugh all the time with my crazy antics, now that you know me better
it just causes shame
me: No shame!
Mr. Amazing: Are you with him?
you look down
you are like… no
I mean maybe
I mean no
me: LMAO! never
Mr. Amazing: who?
that guy with the scraggly beard and stains on him
Is that your husband?
no….
are you sure….
yeah….
me: Whatever, I think you are adorable.
Mr. Amazing: Yeah, that’s your husband
oh… <fake laugh>
yeah… that’s him
<fake laugh>
looking down
shame
me: Quit it… you know that isn’t true
Mr. Amazing: ROFL isn’t it? you are at the movie theater
me: ROTFLMAO!
Mr. Amazing: and there is this guy talking through the movie with stains all over himself and you are thinking, wow… he is amazing
me: Yes, yes I do
Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO uh huh
me: Have you met me?
Mr. Amazing: nope, never met you, how do you do
me: Have I ever acted in public like I think you are anything less than wonderful?
Mr. Amazing: my name is Dorkface… yes you have “acted” like I am wonderful, for which I am eternally thankful ROFL
me: LOL! The only time I acted weird with you out in public, is the one time we ran into a girl from work while we were dating… and she was all “I’ve heard so much about you” and I was all OMG! She is going to tell him how I tell all the girls at work how amazing he is in the sack! and I kicked her
Mr. Amazing: you kicked her??!!! seriously??
me: You don’t remember?
Mr. Amazing: OMG, that was weird
me: ROTFL!
Mr. Amazing: no, I don’t remember you kicking her, I remember her being awkward and running away
me: I kicked in her general direction
Mr. Amazing: now I know why
me: LMAO!
