Articles

Oct 27 2014

Oh Hell No…

Author: Kerry

“The house was haunted. Well, at least it was haunted while I was there. As soon as I left, the house cleared up.
” – Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

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I remember when I was 15… a group of us kids took some canned food for donations and entry into the haunted house just a few days before Halloween… I was so excited… I loved Halloween.. I loved scary movies… I loved being out late at night with my friends… and then I heard the chainsaw roar… and we walked through the doors …

I am behind my friend and have strong-armed him into position directly in front of me… Like a shield… someone you never see walks around the room… occasionally pausing to stroke your face or jab at your neck with a hand in strangle formation or the point of something sharp… You never see any of this coming. It just happens. In the dark.

Chain saws… screams… CLOWNS… it is 45 minutes of hell… most of which my eyes are closed… I can now feel my friends skin through the t shirt that I have shredded while clinging to it… Later… he shows me actual claw marks left on his back… as he informs me I was the scariest part of the whole experience for him.

Never ever again did I go to a haunted house… I ride through spook rides at amusement parks with my eyes closed and act like I enjoy the whole thing… This past Friday Small Child asked to go with some friends to the SAME HAUNTED HOUSE (I could not make this up) I agree to let him go… I even offer to drive them… I drop them off at the gate warning them to be careful… and I move to the furthest location of the parking lot and I wait… allowing them to believe I have left.

THERE IS NO WAY I AM LEAVING MY BABY THERE!

after sitting there in the dark 10 minutes or so… I hear the scraping of feet draggin through the gravel of the lot… It is pitch black… I start looking frantically around me… I see several figures moving through the parking lot… in rags… and walking with a dead limb or a dislocated looking shoulder… SHIT!… I text Mr. Amazing…. he is soooooo sorry… BAM! on my back window… and swamp voodoo mans face is pressed up against the glass… I scream … pee a little (okay not really… but if my bladder had had ANYTHING in it… would’ve happened)

and flipped the stupid kid off

OH HELL NO!

I crack my window and inform the monsters that I am waiting for some teens that are inside… and they can move on to the next victim… and spend the next hour checking all my mirrors like a wild woman.

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Small child loved it.

Next year he can drive his own damn self!

Shout out for this walk down memory lane… and the nightmares are dedicated to the greatest writers workshop in the world!

mama kats Something that scared you when you were young…are you still afraid?

Oct 07 2014

… Magic Happened

Author: Kerry

mama kats Share a recent text exchange that made you laugh.

Mr. Amazing: Hello

Me: Hiya

Mr. Amazing: Did I directly or indirectly make you grumpy with me?

Me:Nope… Im not grumpy

Mr. Amazing: Okay, I love you

Me: I love you too

Mr. Amazing:  you seemed grumpy, but it could have been my imagination

Me: I am always grumpy when sleeping… I butchered the shit out of my bangs this morning… thought you should know

Mr. Amazing: OMG – ROFL

Me: bahahahaha I should have cut them last night

Mr. Amazing:  how bad are they?

Me: ummmm on a scale from 1 – 10? they are fucked up bahahaha I was on cold medicine, didnt have my contacts in, the mirror was foggy from the shower, I used house scissors… and magic happened

Mr. Amazing:  OMG

Me: #everythingisawesome
Mr. Amazing:
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LOL I loooove you!

Me: ROTFLMAO! They arent that bad
I mean… they are bad… but I didnt call into work and run to the salon or anything be nice or I will try to straighten them up with these scissors at my desk…. which I have also done before

Mr. Amazing:

Steve-Tyler-funny

Me:

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Mr: Amazing : Straighter than a catholic priest, wait… straighter than that LOL, they are fine I was picturing a butcher job half way up your forehead, I was scared for you.

Oct 01 2014

Toy Room Collection…. the second one

Author: Kerry

I included in a previous blog my decor plans for the Toy Room… My own little twists from the kiddos favorite movies… and the kiddos are easy on the critique… its a good fit…. Here is the first one if you missed it.

And now my second one…. Elsas Braid from the movie Frozen… I think I will begin a fishtail for Ariel (the little mermaid) next.

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Aug 06 2014

Mothers Curse? I think not.

Author: Kerry

mama katsWhat grade is your child going to be in?

Share a memory you have of yourself at that same age

Sophomore… he is going to be a freaking Sophomore…. Kill me dead…

I paid the registration fees this week… I almost killed over then and there… I took him to get his learners permit… which he failed… ha! Well… So did I the first time… and that is exactly where our similarities end…

My Sophomore year… I lost my virginity… I had already experimented in every known substance invented at the time…and continued to do so… I smoked camel cigarettes… I had half my head shaved and the half that still had hair was a strange blend of black and purple… with my blonde roots poking through it… I wore clothes with bullet holes in them and safety pins… I owned and lived in combat boots… I drew thick black lines around my eyes and powdered my face with white makeup… I owned and used liberally black lipstick…I frightened small children … I am giggling as I type this… I listened only to Depeche Mode, The Cure, OMD, Eurasure, Sex Pistols, Pink Floyd… and the sound track to Phantom of the Opera…I was taken out of the school that year… twice… by ambulance.

<Knocking on all the wood I can reach>

My Small is enrolled in Musical Theater, He is playing the Viola in the Orchestra, His favorite music is from the 50’s or The Beatles, Johnny Cash, The Eagles, CCR, Three Dog Night… Everything I had never even heard of until he began to really discover his flavor of life. He has more manners in his little finger than I do in my entire being… and yet I keep taking the accolades for having such a polite young man… when the truth is he has taught me more about manners than I ever have him.

The mothers curse is such a common joke on social media… maybe my mother didn’t speak to me enough to utter the words… but I am screaming mine from the roof tops!

I HOPE HE HAS CHILDREN JUST LIKE HIM!

Smallest child is entering 3rd grade… 3rd graders tend to be assholes…I do not remember 3rd grade at all… but I will hold out the speaking of the curse words until her Sophomore year… just to be fair…  because she is definitely JUST LIKE Mr. Amazing… I would assume his mother cursed him multiple times.

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Jul 01 2014

Maleficent and Movement

Author: Kerry

mama kats Share your top favorite photo you took in June. Give us the back story

A lot of changes came our way in June… we did some rearranging of our lives… and  rearranging of some furniture. Small Child decided he was tired of being small… and moved into the finished basement… and made himself a Man Cave…. When he proposed this I figured the best way out of it was to tell him he had to do it all himself… Within 24 hours the toy room had been moved into my paint room… my paint room had been moved into the bedroom next to mine … finally removing himself from it and down into what was originally the toy room. This is not a small amount of furniture… he moved wardrobes, book shelves, dressers and all their contents…. sigh… and left me…

During this movefest smallest child asked for more time with us… and we took the appropriate actions to make that happen… We have her more sleeps… but some of the waking time is less… I am pretty sure only people who go through visitation and custody battles will get this… the change is hard but we are going into a 5 sleep stretch starting today… and I am so glad…

All of this is the back story to this photo… I found some time to paint… Smallest child has requested paintings for the Toy Room decor… The very best part about painting is not caring how they turn out… I paint for the motion of painting… for the soul soothing color blending music listening aroma therapy infusing experience…. and it doesn’t matter the outcome… I have the coolest fan club in the world

My Malificent Shadow

My Malificent Shadow

Jun 10 2014

The King of Patience… Really

Author: Kerry

mama katsFather’s Day inspired! Share something your husband does better than you as a parent.

He is such a hard working man and makes it known that family always comes first no matter what regardless of any situation… Also he is a loving man… he doesn’t mess around with the stereotypical things one might think of when you think of a man… He is not afraid to show his emotions and not afraid to express them…. He understands the complexity of a woman and mother and embraces those complexities to make him a better daddy…  He understands that his children are a part of him and makes it his duty to love… support… and encourage them as if they are his only priorities in the world… “Daddy” is the ultimate man in his daughters eyes. … No one can top or ever compare to a daddy that has been around for their child. 

I would like to believe that I also have the qualities listed above…  we are a blended family… and we have the same priorities as far as it goes… with our individual child… each others child… each other… extended family/ friends… careers…I am the talker… I am who they talk too… and confide in… and ask advice… We each have our roles… I am so grateful he fills his so well.

… He plays… as I type this he is engaged in a match of Magic the Gathering with my small… my small that adores him so much… even though he is not his dad… he loves him so… I don’t think for one second it has made losing his father any easier… But I do think it makes living with me 100% of the time more bearable 🙂

He plays with smallest child… barbies… lalaloopsy… I can hear him reading her bed time stories… and doing voices as she laughs.

He plays with the both of them on the beach… while I admonish them… and relax… and soak up the sun and savor the moment they are entertained…

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Happy Fathers Day to all you Dads… Living and In Heaven…or doing it alone… and to the Moms who are doing it alone… and Men who are dads to other Men’s children… 

Apr 23 2014

Who’s got two thumbs and bought FanX/ComicCon tickets! This Girl!

Author: Kerry

 

 

 

 

mama kats  The most exciting thing you purchased this month.

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I wanted to do something fun for small child… all of his friends were going… so when he asked… ofcourse I told him they were sold out…

I then showed up at his school with a sonic screwdriver made a quick stop at a thrift store…He dressed as Dr. Who and the greatest day ever proceeded to happen

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At one point I was concerned that we were just walking around.. not really accomplishing anything… I asked him if he wanted to attend any panels… because I didnt want him to feel like he was just walking around… he looked at me and exclaimed “THIS IS AWESOME!” So we continued to walk around and see everything.

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Besides… Only at FanX – Comic con can this Easter Picture be created… and be honest… it is the greatest one you have ever seen!

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