I have a lot going on right now… I havent stopped crying for two days… okay I have… for a few hours here and there… but then with no rhyme or reason my heart starts pounding… and tears run so fast down my face again that I literally wet the neck of my shirt… they seem endless…

Today I have having all the teeth on the top of my mouth pulled… Ive blogged about whats going on with that… so today Im going Old School denture… like a Fixadent Grandma… fitting I suppose.. since I am a Grandma… I cant do any implants or clips or anything… because we do not even know if I will heal…. So that’s that… I cannot tell if the tears are my subconscious processing all that or not… but my logical brain reminds me… its okay… its just teeth (or gums as the case may be) that I will be alive and okay… because my body doesnt know any of that… and it is reacting like im in immediate danger…

Maybe its the Global Pandemic… Globally, as of 1 June 2020, there have been 6,057,853 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 371,166 deaths, reported to WHO…. Ive blogged many times about it… not for a few weeks however..

But that is not what is making Twitter sad…

“The Country is on fire” is what people keep saying… well I suppose thats true… there were cars flipped and lit on fire… Riots broke out in cities all over the country… Protest with THOUSANDS are happening in New Zealand and London… and those are the only ones Ive caught wind of as I am desperately trying to practice some self care until I can feel less crazy … Ive been avoiding the news… yesterday I literally blocked myself from twitter for 10 hours… so I couldn’t read… I tried to open the app no less than 30 times while I had it blocked. I finally unblocked myself again… I have to know… I have to witness… Im so sad… like twitter… so sad…

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHITE PRIVILEGE!

We need to talk about white privilege because women need positive messages… support and encouragement… to overthrow unfair expectations… but I keep being toold that colors need to stop making excuses.

We need to talk about white privilege because I am so damn sick of hearing about black-on-black crime without hearing that 84% of US murdered white people* are white on white (http://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/htus8008.pdf). And that’s not the damn point anyway.

We need to talk about white privilege because I didnt want my son growing up in a world where people are treated differently because of how they look. BUT HE DID… I DIDNT WANT MY DAUGHTERS CHILDREN BEING RAISED IN THAT WORLD EITHER… BUT THEY ARE

We need to talk about white privilege because that in no way takes away from rich privilege… or male privilege (or sometimes female privilege)… or Christian privilege… or high IQ privilege… or having a PhD privilege.

We need to talk about white privilege because it is oppressing people… and people are dying because of it.

Please.. let’s talk about white privilege.

This IS a very hard post to write. But I don’t want to be someone who buries this in the sand… and won’t acknowledge it…. and let it continue. I want to talk about… understand… and remove white privilege.

How about we start by keeping Martin Luther King out of our white mouths for a few days… That was everyones response… why can’t you be like him… acknowledge the reason he had a platform to be heard was on the backs and shoulders of the riots and violence the… MalcomX… the Panthers… or he would never have been heard… and when he was MURDERED… 110 cities rioted again.

How about we just admit Colin Kaepernick was RIGHT THE WHOLE TIME.

And people hated him for it.

I honest to god know this is justified… It just hurts my heart SO MUCH that we are here again… The police here in Salt Lake City were amazing… They stood and watched for 13 hours as their car and another was flipped and lit on fire… they stood still as protestors wrote terrible things all over our pristine WHITE capital building. They never once moved against them. Here in utah the Majority of protestors were white… I mean… we arent exactly diverse here… I dont know the numbers but I do know every time I have an out of town guest come… they are shocked.

So though I do not condone the violence… I understand it… it is justified… I am white… SO WHITE… but I support… witness… donate… and LOVE. Please know that… I am hopeful for our Murder Hornet filled futures….

Excuse me now… I gotta go have all these teeth ripped from my mouth now.

I love you guys.

Last thought- Is our girdle wearing… makeup wearing leader… still down in his bunker… refreshing his phone like a mad man and tweeting??? Be BETTER THAN HIM!