You know when you break a vase and seamlessly glue it back together… but there is still that one chipped piece… So you display the vase with the chipped part facing the wall… so no one can see it…. People walk by and exclaim what a pretty vase and never see the chip because they don’t bother to turn the vase around… But you know it’s there… That… In reverse.
This is kinda how life feels sometimes.
Yeah… That happened, I thought I would take the cheat prompt this week… Not have to put a lot of thought into it… have been soooooooooo busy that I haven’t had time to really sit and write… sad… because this blog is the one thing that is truly me… that I do for myself and I honestly love it… so I grabbed the questions… and sat down to answer them…. and I didn’t know the answers… Have I even listened to a full album this year? I have not, I have not slowed down or connected to much of 2012… So this took a lot longer to write than I anticipated… because I have to do some of the things on the list… to actually get to know myself again… so I can share it with you
This Week’s Prompt
1.) Instead of a resolution, some people choose a theme word to live by for the year. Choose a word for 2013 and tell us why you chose it.
As far as an explanation as to why I chose this… I don’t know if I can put it into words… I want to be real… Involved… acknowledged… hands on… I don’t want to be invisible… I want to scream at the top of my lungs that I need validation… I want to validate myself.adjective
1. readily or plainly seen, heard, perceived, etc.; obvious; evident.
2. capable of being touched or felt; tangible.
List the top 9 things that bring you joy.
What brings you joy?
What a fantastic question at such an amazing time of year!
1- My Children
(The Tall – The Smalls – The Tiniest of all!)
2- Mr. Amazing
(Unless he lets a chicken hawk eat my kittens)
3- Love – In all of its amazing forms
(Friends – Family – Pets)
4- Art – In all of its amazing forms
(Photography – Paintings- Music)
5 -Being Alive- Nothing more or less.
(Everything is perfect)
6- The look of Christmas lights
(and the smell of chimney smoke on a winter night)
7- My sense of humour
( 🙂 – My Blog! )
8- Hitting the lights green on the way home
(Finding joy in simple things)
9- Wildflowers
(Seeing birds flying and the sun beaming down)
Dear Santa…
Without sounding like I am accusing you of doubting my goodness… I feel it is important to point out some of my finer qualities… because lets face it… My Christmas list is not small… and nothing short of cliche…. I would have to point out that I have been good this year… I have helped where I can… I have been a regular bundle of sunshine when people are down… I go to work… I work hard… I come home and I cook dinner… and I clean house… fold laundry…. scrub toilets…. attend recitals… drive carpool… make chamomile tea before bed… I love… my god do I have the love thing down… I love my children…Mr. Amazing… others children… my childrens children… my friends… some of my family… I could go on… I have references…
I am no saint … this much I know… I have thrown my share of hissy fits… I have melted down over plenty of “1st world problems” … I have lost my temper… lost my patience… not returned a promised phone call… forgotten a birthday…. but I do try…
What I want this year for Christmas is breathing room… I would like a little more time between each challenge… Money to last a little longer… I am grateful ends meet… just a little less barely…. I would like a few less coughs… and a few less tears… a trip to disneyland… only in america can I flog myself and my parenting skills for never having gotten my son there… I know … I know it is wrong… when I have so much to wish it… but I do dammit… Im not done either… I wish for peaceful sleepful nights…. less nightmares… I wish for less debt… less instability… I wish for more time in the sunshine… more time with my little family… more laughter… and a kitten… Mr. Amazing says I cant have one… that one cat is enough… and I dont want anything to take my shadow cat away… I would like you to convince him…. and more than anything… more that anything I have asked for prior to this… I want all these things for others… Give my kitten to some little girl that has never had something of her very own… and give my comforts to someone who doesnt know what it is like to make ends meet… even barely… Give my less coughs to kids that dont have a mom to take care of them… and give my sunshine to those who dont have the freedom to run in it as often as we do… because honestly no matter how much you have… it is never enough…Capture Kony… Stop Assad… There is so much more wrong that I could add… fix it… make the hurting stop…. and please… Let me have DisneyLand
Merry Christmas You Guys!!!
We (Mr. Amazing, Small Child and I) made our way into the theater loaded up with “Dinner” (Popcorn, nachos, candy, and a Turkey Sandwich!) Excited for the movie, 3D glasses are passed around, and we settle into our seats … This is not the normal movie for we three… We are Marvel fans… Super Heroes… The Hobbit… Hunger Games… But this caught our attention… the promise of stunning visuals and a spiritual experience… So we were a little confused as it opened and we laughed at some of the childhood stories… and we drooled over the amazing cuisine they kept showing… and then we tensed up as the directors of the film expect you too as the boat scenes start… The boat sinks… Pi is the only human on the life boat with the animals… The Zebra cries out as his flank is attacked by a Hyena…
Small Child completely loses composure and dissolves into gut wrenching sobs…
Mr. Amazing suggests it might be to scary for him… and I look at him and realize… Small Child isn’t scared… He LOVES the Zebra… He stands to leave the theater as the Orangutan fights for its life… and loses as well…. Completely inconsolable…
In the hall we get him calmed down… and I am so touched by his empathy… so moved by his love of animals… that I send Mr. Amazing back into the “Life of Pi” and I take small child to an attendant, and get permission to theater hop until the movie is over… We watched again the ending of Rise of the Guardians … Which oddly I didn’t review – But Highly Recommend to all ages. We then caught the last 45 minutes of the latest and final Twilight installment… Which again I had seen… didn’t review… also recommend. We giggled… and hugged… Mother and Son… My beautiful amazing son… who can watch NCIS… BONES… and any other kind of action film… and still maintain such an innocence… and be so sensitive … I was so proud of him.
Mr. Amazing finished the Life of Pi… he came out of the theater shedding emotional tears… He was so deeply moved by the movie and couldn’t say enough about the beauty of the film… and the colors… He loved it… he thinks everyone should see it… Everyone but my amazing son.
I’ve never reviewed a movie I didn’t actually watch… So I guess this is more of a story than a review.
Maybe this is more of a prayer than a story… I pray nothing ever happens to small child… that would make that scene in that movie okay for him to see… I hope he always LOVES the zebra!
We’re going around the table and it’s your turn to share what you are thankful for…go!
- the fact that I’ve been given some bit of awareness… of spiritual awakeness
- my humor … twisted and sick as it is.
- my friends … Everyone says this… but in all honesty… My friends are magic… They are like the cast to a B sci-fi movie… and I truly love them with all of my heart
- my family … All of them, The smalls, and the distant
- my husband … Mr. Amazing
- whatever talent I have as a writer that perhaps lets me help a few people
- the opportunity to experience life from this vantage … it is unique
- the insane overabundant beauty of nature … especially the rain and the moon.
- a roof over my head and food on my table
- an inquisitive mind that is easily amused and delighted
- my surrogate family… with whom I spend many holidays … including this upcoming Thanksgiving
- my love of music of almost all types… (except Country music which makes me want to stab my eyes with a fork) …which entertains me … and often… brings me happiness.
- you … whomever you are… however you got here… today as I type this… I am so grateful for you.
Your Turn … What are you thankful for? … Pass the wine!
I thought I would throw another post in the writer’s workshop ring… I love this group… even if I don’t participate every week… The prompts inspire me and I have found some of the most amazing blogs because of it! This week I am writing from the prompt
“List 5 things that bring you comfort”
For as stressed out… anxious… sleep deprived as I get… I have just as many small peace of mind moments.
Melt your face off Mondays– It is something Mr. Amazing and I started while dating… Monday night dinner dates… We eat Indian food every week… Often times (like last night) whether it is good for us or not… He orders the Chicken Tikka, I, the Paneer Tikka… we rarely vary… sometimes I add a glass of wine… we rotate which establishment we get it from… sometimes we eat out… sometimes we eat in and watch bones… (eating in is my favorite, because unlike myself, Mr. Amazing cannot look at a dead body and eat at the same time and makes all kinds of entertaining faces.) We have been doing this for close to three years … I never get tired of the food. It is magic.
Sleepy Time Tea– I know there is actually a tea named this… but that isn’t what I am referring to… I make a mean cup of tea… Small Child, Mr. Amazing and I… whomever else wants some… at least a couple times a week drink tea before bed… Rose Hip , Lemon Grass, Chamomile, Valerian Root… whatever we fancy that night… Sometimes loose… sometimes not… everyone takes theirs a different way… and we each have a favorite mug… and we drink tea. It is soothing.. and good for you.
David Lanz – It happens… I become inconsolable… I cry until my eyes are swollen shut… I let things build and build until I completely lose it over something as simple as could be…. This makes everything bearable again.. if only for a moment.
Twitter – I know that is ridiculous… but have you ever been laying in bed… your head running a marathon… unable to focus long enough to get sucked into a book… panicking about not being able to sleep… I hold my phone like a life line… and twitter myself to sleep… I follow the most awesome people… This works well for those early morning wake ups as well… They don’t even know how many nights their silly tweets have saved me from sleepless nights…
Small Child – His smile… His smell… His goofy little dance… knowing he is sleeping in his bed safe and sound with a crazy cat on his chest… the sound of him practicing his instruments… everything is better with him than without him… everything seems conquerable… achievable… ruffling up his hair that needs cutting so badly… folding his clothes with him and putting them away… cooking him a his favorite meal… watching his favorite shows. Everything about him comforts me. 
Of course there are many more things… my friends… candles… painting… hoodies… pajama pants … coffee!!
Have any other good ideas? let me know!
