Articles

May 09 2012

… Wednesday… I have decided to scalp you

Author: Kerry

NO ONE TOLD ME that yesterday was not Wednesday.. No one said a word as I tweeted and posted proudly my #wordlesswednesday post! I had been holding onto that little gem for over a week! No one said a word…

THEN the Bloggess took the only thing I love more than her… Which of-course is Harry Potter… and made it a Rodent… a Dead one… in badly tailored clothes…   and I felt my sanity walking on a tightrope without an umbrella…. for the love of god! … Fine Fine… I love her more than Harry Potter… But if she fucks with coffee… its over

BUT THEN… Well… . Wil Wheaton’s cat got a damn twitter account… And I followed it… and then it was too good for my linens….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But he said it wasn’t my linens.. it was my cat.. and he is probably right… because my cat is a jackass…

But whether my linens are good enough for the cat or my cat is an ass…

I knew the end had come… So I prepared a meal from my “Things I don’t love anyone enough to make 🙂 “ Pinterest board…

and entered my Second Wednesday of the week… Pray for me…

 

 

 

May 05 2012

Cinco de Mayo… The day that gets me!… Alt Titled: the 5 Best things to hit with a stick!

Author: Kerry

I now bring you the 5 coolest things  to hit with a stick!

1- This is awarded the Geek Pinata award

2- Coolest pinata ever! Scared to death of these things as a Child… Would love to beat it with a stick!
3 – Enough said 🙂 Arrrgh!!

4 – The Yo Gabba Gabba Pinata is placed here in honor of every toddler tv show I have suffered here, it could alternately be Dora, Blue, Bob, or lala

5 – Yeah… My Ass 🙂

May 02 2012

*cough*bullshit*cough*

Author: Kerry

It’s been a couple of weeks now… since the onset… quite a long run for me of not wanting to get out of bed… not being able to engage in conversation with my loved ones… feeling like I am looking at life through some kind of film.. or screen… or transparent shell…. Not sleeping … not really able to focus on anything… a book… a movie… a game..

…and I wanted to write about this pit  I seem to have willingly or unwillingly flung myself into… because it is on the list of cures… you know them right? call a friend… relax… take a bath… exercise… walk … work in the garden… paint… play music…These cures to fix these hours and hours of self loathing… personal berating… tears that come even when I sleep… which hasn’t been a lot… because whether this be depression… or anxiety… or insomnia… they are all lovers of each other… and are combined in one  mess… and it manifests itself onto others as words not meant to sounds that harsh… and frustrations… and exasperation… and unhappiness that simply aren’t real

….  So I sat here and prepared to get it all down and out… and talk about it… and then I looked around … and saw everyone else writing about it… The Bloggess as usual (usual=althefuckingways) … says it best … Even the Headologist tweets today about feeling so sad bastardy… and I found myself wondering what the hell is going on? I mean… the sun is shining in most areas… it is spring… the winter blahs are supposed to have dissipated…

And I thought maybe… just maybe… I should not dwell on it… and continue to breathe… and wait… and I took out the headphones that had music that perfectly expressed those feelings… I might have to feel them… but I am done embracing them for now… and I will wait… And I will even spare you the “this too shall pass” and “learn to dance in the rain” *cough*bullshit*cough* … I will leave you with the one thing… that always… no matter how far I am away from real… helps..
Honestly.. I couldn’t even tell you why …

 

May 01 2012

… Have you hugged a local occupier today? Happy May Day!

Author: Kerry

I will be heading into work this morning…  I do not have the funds… nor the job security to call in sick today….. I am a coward… With mouths to feed and a roof over heads to maintain… and I don’t think anyone truly holds that against me…. I am so grateful for those in a position to be there protesting today…

In what Occupy organizers are calling “a day without the 99%,” protesters are planning to participate in a “general strike” on Tuesday: no work, no shopping, no banking.

I will be participating in the: no shopping, no banking, not pumping a damn drop of gas today….  And I will hug the first Occupier I see!!!

Apr 30 2012

… Grandma’s balls of steel

Author: Kerry

My favorite Grandmother ( I TOTALLY had a favorite… no contest) always said “You know the saying… If you don’t have anything nice to say…” she would then trail off and tell me everything she hated about everyone in my family… and I would sit there and admire her … Not only for being able to capture and hold the heart of the man who I thought walked on water…. But for having the balls of steel she appeared to have… and say exactly what she thought… and couldn’t have cared less what people thought…. That was a hell of a lead in to me not saying anything all today…

Cheer up little duck… It will get better

 

Apr 25 2012

Zipper Trivia… just the word… not the actual mechanism…

Author: Kerry

G-Chat conversation.

Mr Amazing: so bfgoodrich invented the word zipper

me:  what?

Mr Amazing: yeah, he coined the term zipper

me: I’m not really sure how you found that out… although I suspect google has something to do with it… or why anyone would want to know that

Mr Amazing: the google zipper yesterday

me: Although… Inventing the actual zipper…not the word… well that would mean something

Mr Amazing: don’t worry, I sent the same message to a random co-worker and then pretended like I really sent him a random retarded message about bfgoodrich inventing the zipper… ROFLMAO

Epic

me: ROTFLMAO!!!

Mr Amazing: And then I just immediately switched gears and asked about the deployment of his app to production

smooth

me: LMAO! OMG! I am trying to cover the fact that I am laughing so hard I am crying

Mr Amazing: Next I will IM him about something really awkward

Mr Amazing: like a lump and the doctor and then pretend like I was really talking to him… “what do’ya think man… ”

pretend even

wow

I meant to do that

me: LMAO!! stop… my co-workers are looking at me

Mr Amazing: Hey … so my mother told me that she is going to stop talking to me, since I totally told her about the whole leaving the closet thing….

and… well I thought that was interesting…

so about that software deployment….

me: ROTFLMAO!!! I have to walk away… and apparently pee!! brb

me: There! much better

Mr Amazing: He still hasn’t responded…

He is probably thinking…fuck… was I too nice to him? Does he want to be my friend… creepy… shit what do I say? Do I just pretend like I don’t see it? Should I close the window? fuck….

me: ROTFLMAO!!!

Mr Amazing: just leave the window open and don’t respond… and never talk to him again

fuck

me: Stop! LMAO!

Mr Amazing: zipper? what does that mean? Is that a come on? Oh God, what if it is?

me: I just swallowed my gum!! dammit!

It’s not like you can walk over and be all “that was meant for my wife”… because then he would think you were talking zipper trivia with me

Mr Amazing: He hasn’t said anything else? what if he comes and talks to me? Is he going to talk about inventing zippers…

me: it’s better he thinks you’re hitting on him

Mr Amazing: Tomorrow I’ll ask him if yesterday meant anything to him

me: uhhhh

Mr Amazing: and then tell him that my feelings were hurt

that he never responded

I just tried to make small talk

like who invented zippers

what is awkward about that

me: “I just tried to make small talk” LMAO

Mr Amazing: nothing

zippers are healthy and normal

me: quit omg..

Mr Amazing: and he won’t talk to me about zippers?

me: I am going to die

Mr Amazing: Fine, I am not saying hi to him anymore

not even if he rubs my shoulders

I just simply refuse

me: creepy!

Mr Amazing: what is zippers?

or shoulders?

Do you think I should try to hug him? To make things seem less awkward?

you know… just reset things and let him know that we are okay

a two pat hug

me: ROTFLMAO!!

Mr Amazing: and then a shoulder squeeze

and then just walk away

me: two pats and a shoulder squeeze?

Mr Amazing: that would make things not so … weird

me: Why don’t you ask him?

maybe he has a pat preference?

Mr Amazing: oh yes, great idea

hey… do you like shoulder squeezes? you remember me, the zipper trivia guy

 me: ROTFLMAO!   Exactly

Mr Amazing: yeah, I’m on it

I am going to pray to god the whole thing just goes away

I may pray tonight

And create an altar of shame

me: I will help you.. I have candles

Mr Amazing: He just walked over and asked me to deploy his app again

he looked very troubled

me: ROTFLMAO!

Mr Amazing: but, hey … at least he is talking to me

 me: Pretend to zip your lips at him… like you can keep a secret 

Mr Amazing: Yeah, I already did that  he ran

I winked too was that going too far?

me: <Speechless>

Mr Amazing: anyway, I think we will be okay I just may need some counseling

Mr Amazing: and not type things in the wrong F*ing chat window

Mr Amazing: https://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=coined+the+word+zipper&safe=on


Apr 19 2012

… This moved me

Author: Kerry

One of my favorite things about spring and summer are the festivals… Art festivals to be exact…I attended an arts festival last year and wrote this post then… I wanted to reshare on the shiney new blog… I enjoyed it so much that I don’t leave the festival until I have experienced everything it has to offer…. I was standing in line with two beautiful children waiting for the face painters when the smallest angel started to fidget… I left Mr amazing with my son, and took his daughter to wander a little… Right next to the line was this booth, with the colors and textures and visuals screaming my name…  I first caught sight of this jump suit… bedazzled and bespectacled over every inch of the surface, and I guided said smallest child towards it, as the darling four-year old loved beads and jewels and anything sparkly really… she ooohhhhed and ahhhhhed enough that I dared take her in further to this booth… cautioning her not to touch anything…. Amazingly enough she listened… maybe she was moved by what she saw as much as I was….
You see the sweet artist in this picture, She was so kind


http://www.kathyross3d.com/

There was a little haven from the world in this booth, every worry and stress I was carrying with me melted away as my senses normally used to focus on them was distracted by the sculptures… I forgot about how I was going to pay the bills, How in the world I was going to manage all the upcoming events… What I was going to make for dinner… Hurt feelings… Anxiety… Physical aches and pains… and entered what could only be described as the world of a Book.

You are what you read… This is the one I would want to be… The secret garden

We spent a good 15 minutes in there, mesmerized, and captured before rejoining our group to tell them about the magic happening over in that little tent, in the heat of the day, and we returned the next day… so the boys could see it this time… and they too were awed, and touched…. Sometimes I think we forget to look at things from a different view, that there is more to this life than bills and worries… There are still beautiful things to show our children… and that it can’t be found in a classroom, or a bank account, or a clean home….


This was my personal favorite, It reminded me there is more out there, than my small little view… Better things are coming… and the world still can be beautiful.

I needed that… and it moved me…. I will be saving up for this piece.

Apr 16 2012

Stop The Traffick

Author: Kerry

A dutch ad agency put this together for Stopthetraffic.com … Its message was loud and clear… As it should have been!

 

Thousands of women every year follow the dream of a dance career to red-light districts. They are tricked, bought, and sold, and it needs to stop.

Apr 16 2012

… Saved your LIFE!!!

Author: Kerry

No Really… I’m not opposed to you living out your days trying to repay the debt… in fact… I encourage it…

Clicking on that little Icon will take you to the website that will save your life when the Zombies come… Typing in your zip code will tell you where to go for your best chance of survival… Such as Liquor stores (HA!) … Gun Stores… Grocery Stores… It will also tell you where the most Zombies will probably be… based on Population.. and wide open areas…

 

You’re Welcome!