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Your Political Guide to Fast Food Restaurants…

Picture if you will… the moral dilemma I faced in 100 degree weather yesterday afternoon… As I ran to get lunch for some co-workers … They wanted Chick Fil A… Chick Fil A was filled with all kinds of appreciative customers… which I was not one (I had never actually been to a Chick Fil A) So I find it Ironic that the day I go requires me going against my stance on equality… bigotry… and Hate….

 

Or did it?

This Morning KFC came out in support of LGBT Equality… Well… damn… I hate their nasty food… where is the chicken equality…

People… I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried!

But Try we Shall….

McDonalds comes out in support of only homosexuals and denigrates the existence of heterosexuals
Burger King is for all forms of sexual attraction, including bisexual and autosexual
Subway only supports transgenders
Taco Bell is for lesbians only, duh (LMAO!)
Arbys suggests that anyone who sells meat between two buns can not really be against being Gay… and right they are….
The Sign Lies… Its not really delicious 🙂

 

Chimps gone wild! & Dinosaur Porn! … It Must be Friday!

This isn’t a real post… I like to think of it as more like a Public Service Announcement…. <Cue announcer voice> “We Will be interrupting the normal Friday nonsense for these…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Residents in Las Vegas warned again Chimpanzees on the loose…. Best headline ever… I guess what happens in Vegas rule doesn’t apply to Primates

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scientists rendered images of Dinosaurs having sex… really… apparently they have been working on this theory for decades…. WOW … well…. Just

look for yourself….  THANK YOU DAILY MAIL!

 

I couldn’t make this shit up…Well…. real life wins…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

and I win the interwebs!!!

 

P.s. If you are new here… its not always nonsense… I’ve been writing some pieces that are going up this next week that I am very Proud of… Stay Tuned.

… Insomnia … It sometimes craves candy.

G-Chat (Day three no sleepy)
Mr Amazing:  I am just struggling to not fall asleep. I think I need caffeine
 me:  probably
Mr Amazing:  they have a rack of gummies, like 30 kinds
me:  Shut the front door… what kind …who is they
Mr Amazing:  Toasters, it is where I acquire chai tea latte
me:  Hmph
Mr Amazing: they have all kinds of stuff and all kinds of german chocolate, like this cherry yogurt chocolate, I have never gotten it
me:  Gummies… get to the gummies… what kind of gummies
Mr Amazing:  lol, they have coke bottle, they have all kinds, like tons
 me:  Take a picture
Mr Amazing:  lol okay  it’ll be a minute
 me:  I think it is unfair that I am in Hell… whilst you are in chai gummy land
Mr Amazing:  Uh
….
I am in chai gummy land?
 me:  Yes
Mr Amazing:  chai gummy land
 me:  Chai Gummy Land
Mr Amazing:  chai gummy land?
 me:  Its like candy land… but serves chai tea
Mr Amazing:  okay…
 me:  If i walk outside my building… I have no chai gummy magic place to go… I have Envirofacts
Mr Amazing:  lol, they moved didn’t they?
 me:  You get the point… no one is making me chai over there
Mr Amazing:  uh…Do you want to drive through Starbucks? Is that what you are saying,  for an iced chai? you only have an hour-ish left
 me:  Valid point… I think you should surprise me with Indian food for dinner… and gummy frogs
Mr Amazing: Really? ROFL
 me:  I think I am delirious… I think my face is melting off my skull
Mr Amazing: that sounds attractive
 me:  LMAO
Mr Amazing:  my face is melting off my skull
 me:  this is what happens when I dont sleep for days… this is past the giggly day… past the crying day…to the face melting day
Mr Amazing:  there are variants
 me:  like different strands of mutation disease?
Mr Amazing:  yeah, just like that
 me:  Unless you can make gummy frogs, chai tea, and icecream appear on my desk right now.. Im not really listening to you anyways
Mr Amazing:  gummy frogs? that is what you are craving? more than coke bottle?
 me:  Actually sharks… but I dont know if they have them… I dont have a picture!
Mr Amazing: or peach rings lol I haven’t left yet
 me:  Gummy sharks… or octopie!
Mr Amazing: octo pie? what the hell?
 me:  Octopi … Octopusses
Mr Amazing:  what the hell
 me:  ROTFLMAO!
Mr Amazing:  octo pussy?
 me:  They make them MISTER! Gummy Octopi!
Mr Amazing:  octopussy gummy
 me:  Its real
Mr Amazing:  uh huh so are marsians
 me:  do you think that have gummy martians?
Mr Amazing:  probably
 me:  Mmmmmm martians
Mr Amazing:  shouldn’t they be called marsians? they aren’t from mart
 me: NO!  Ooohhhh do you remember those gummy tarantulas??? OMG … OH EMMMMMM GEEEEE
Mr Amazing:  
 me:  THOSE ARE JUST BEARS!!!
Mr Amazing:  Those fucks
 me:  LMAO!
Mr Amazing: 
 me:  ahhhhhhhhhh butterflies!!!

Super Hero Against Retrieving Porn (SHARP) … Nerds love acronyms

Mr Amazing:  My computer barfed – Did I miss anything?
 me:  Barfed? That’s a horrible word
Mr Amazing:  Did you smile though? Or are you just mortified?
 me:   Of Course… I snorted
Mr Amazing:   lol
 me:  So I hate to tell you this.. I was looking at what gets read the most on my blog…. Top Ten spots… our g-chats
 Mr Amazing:   lol, ridiculous
 me:  ROTFL!
Mr Amazing:   that is because you mention crap you should not, and it is from porn searches, or I mention rather and you post it … Spitzer’s
Clothing Colony for instance
 me:  oh come on… It’s not like I go around typing in crap like “Happy Endings” to come up in search engines
Mr Amazing:   lol
 me:  Bahahaha!
Mr Amazing:   yeah, no mention of clit or vagina
 me:  I know right? Or uterus
Mr Amazing:   lol, perfect
 me:  I usually throw a couple of politicians in there… Like Romney has a Uterus (serious? he should be so lucky!)…Or… President Romney means no Happy Endings for Americans …ROTFLMAO!…OMG!
Mr Amazing:   lol
 me:  I just died… seriously… that was hysterical
Mr Amazing:   President Romney’s four-year massage will not come with a happy ending…
 me:  bahahahaha!!! That would just be wrong… wrong to post things like that and divert people searching those things to my meaningless nonsense blog
Mr Amazing:   It seems to me like a good thing
 me:  Right? I’m really just trying to help out! do my part… I’m kind of a super hero… In the keyword porn fighting arena… Search Term Super Hero
Mr Amazing:   ROFLMAO you should post that… as a post
 me:  Oh yeah, Like im not already highlight this G Chat gold! and pasting it in my blog
Mr Amazing:   Oh God
 me:  G-chat… Not G-String
Mr Amazing:   You could just post an idea … Rather than copying my words verbatim to a blog
 me:  Ha ha! My readers love you
Mr Amazing:   I hope you at least fix my spelling errors
 me:  (always)  and this time! it was me being funny! that’s never happened before!
Mr Amazing:  Super Hero Against Retrieving Porn (SHARP) Nerds love acronyms
 me:  ROFL! oh great… okay now its all about you again
<Spongebob voice> Five minutes later
Mr Amazing:  Nerds Against The Use of Rhetorical Acronymous Lingo (NATURAL)
 me:  That took you a while didn’t it LMAO
Mr Amazing:  lol, it did but I am against myself doing it

… Refer to Exhibit A

Beautiful spring evening… returned from a delicious dinner with Mr. Amazing… Let the beast outside to pee…. Peek down the side of the porch to see if the Sprinkler “key” is there… I really should water the lawn…. BAM! Biff! Boom! (Like on the batman cartoon dammit!)… Yeah… so I fell off the porch… rolled the shit out of my ankle… wrenched my back… bruised the crap out of places I havent even discovered yet… and figured you all should read this (you know… the post about how I am a clutz… yeah that one… people seemed to like it when I first posted it)… It will be a tradition… At some point I will compile them all…

Ring of fire Solar Eclipse … 5 Eclipse Myths… and some moral integrity!

We are fortunate enough to live in the path of this years solar eclipse… Mr amazing stood in line at the local planetarium for 45 minutes to get us glasses… They were completely sold out… by the end of the day….

This image was actually captured with Mr Amazing’s cell phone… through the glasses film… from our driveway… 

I know that in our days, eclipses aren’t a big mystery — they occur when the moon passes between Earth and the sun. But imagine what they used to think!! Throughout history, the sun’s significance, along with its mysteriousness, have yielded an array of solar myths… There are five… Really cool myths about eclipses on  livescience.com

And you can read about those… and see a million beautiful eclipse pictures on the front page of every newspaper and magazine today… But something getting a lot less coverage is 75,000 people converging on Chicago yesterday for the NATO protest was also pretty amazing…. Just felt it was my moral obligation to make sure you know about both


Heads or Tails??

Mr. Amazing took small child Mothers Day shopping last Sunday morning, Small child had arrived home from his fathers… slightly defeated looking and present-less… and although I had assured him it was okay far in advance to this happening yet again… and talked him through how it would be okay days ahead… it didn’t make him feel much better…

So off they went… To what we call the “Magic Store” (its really the local Michael’s craft store… but the kids think magic comes out of there.. because whatever we do next is always amazing with our supplies…and they are right)

(imagine the spongebob narrator voice) TWO HOURS LATER

Small child finally after several nervous breakdowns and panic attacks chooses a gift and they come home…

Small child has a problem… I don’t know when it started exactly.. he has had it as long as I can remember… Small child cannot make decisions.. he wants them made for him… he is at a time in his life where he needs to be able to decide for himself…

I have never seen panic attacks (full fledged sweat on the brow, swallowing back vomit, room spinning panic attacks) over something as simple as where would you like to go for dinner… but he has them… he always has… we are working on it

Today I found this from one of my favorite people that I’ve never met’s blog… and I was inspired to do this (see image below)!!! For small child to keep with him at all times… this is by far the best advice Ive ever been given… In my adult life.. and I bet the same is true for my cute boy…

“Make one option heads, and the other tails. Hold the coin in your hand for a minute, visualizing the two options on either side. Take a deep breath, and toss the coin into the air. Suddenly it doesn’t matter which side the coin lands on – because you know which side you’re hoping it lands on. You have your answer. And it’s the right one.”

 

Thank You Mr. President!!!

Different isn’t wrong. It’s different.

How hard is it to accept one another…  to practice kindness… not attack people who see the world differently than we do.

Nothing will ever be achieved in saying the person who disagrees with you is a sinner or stupid. Attacking and name-calling isn’t intelligent discussion. It only forces people to dig in their heels (like smallest child is soooooooo good at) as they refuse to hear your argument…. I’ve been guilty of it in the past, but I realize now that if I want someone to really hear me, I have to stop being a bitch as I present the facts.

The facts, as I see them, are as simple as this: love is love. If two people want to celebrate their love by making a lifelong commitment, it should be their decision to make. My life will change in no way when  same-sex marriage becomes a norm. There may be benefits that come about, but there most certainly will be no harm.

My marriage will mean just as much then as it does now.

If you disagree with me, I’ll ask you to substantiate your opinion. If you quote a book in your reasoning, I’ll ask if you’ve really read that book. Perhaps you should to read it again? Because, you know, you can’t pick and choose which lines to live by.

I will ask you if you think it’s OK to stone a woman to death for sleeping with a man (Deuteronomy 22:23-24).

I will ask you if you think it’s OK for a man to sleep with his brother’s wife (Genesis 38:8-10).

I will absolutely ask you if children who curse their mother or father should die (Leviticus 20:9).

And then I will throw the thing in the toilet…. because honestly… knowing it means nothing… preaching it means less… its how I behave …  my actions… that I will judge myself by … and whoever else may judge me….. The book that has been used over and over again as a tool to judge… hate…harm… and rule, That book talks equally about love… charity… kindness… hope… Can we practice a little bit of that??

Besides...it will help the economy... Gay Bridal Registry... Wedding planners are all a frenzy!!