Articles

Jul 02 2012

… Random Ramblings about moving on… and the Near Death experience of a Cat

Author: Kerry

 

This weeks Writing prompt from MamaKats made me smile…. ” Share a story about a stray you took in or an animal you once rescued.”

 

 

I was married once before… Before I really understood men like Mr. Amazing could love someone like me… I often refer to those times as the “Dark Ages”… but there were some positive things that came out of it…. The birth of Small Child… The ability to adopt Tall Child…. but when it ended… and who knows… maybe someday we will talk about it and its ending…. When that man moved out… I replaced him with a cat… Shadow Cat to be specific… We gave him a home, when his other humans were looking for one for him… and they were friends of ours…. and the children rejoiced… and the Ferocious Beast Doggy did not… and all was well in the Kingdom…. (Shadow Cat and Ferocious beast are Best friends 5 years later… Like best of best friends… Shadow cat purrs upon seeing him… and Beast Doggy pretends he has to poop to sneak the cat outside when it wants out) …

Based on the success of Shadow Cat joining our lil gypsy troupe of a family… Tall child brought us another little bundle of fur… from her college dorm… It needed a home… its person was moving…. and it was the cutest thing I had ever seen….

And the children rejoiced….

And Shadow Cat and Beast Dog desperately wanted to show Flora the Ropes… Or eat her… Probably eat her…

But Flora would have none of this… She moved into my bedroom… and under my bed… and only came out when the house was asleep and all the lights were out… she would come out and eat… and use the litter box… or my clothes if they were on the floor…. and then crawl into my bed and love on my face… and nest in my hair… and allow herself to be snuggled and kissed and all was well…. We nick named her Ghost Kitty


Last… but not least… Near death experience of the cat… and I only share this… because well… it was so freakish… We love her dearly, and thought… well… its spring, lets throw her outside and see what happens….

Here is what happened : She went out… loved it… did really well… then I got brave… and let Zip (Beast Doggy) out…. That didn’t go so well… I have never seen a cat try to run through a fence… but that is exactly what she did….face first… into the chain link fence… and with enough force behind her to get her head stuck there… Small Child is screaming.. I think she is dead….. I shove her head back out of the fence… thinking… well she is dying anyways right? and carry her back in the house… hold her for a while… look her over….no blood…. set her down… she makes a mad dash for the safety of my bedroom… and right under the bed….. whew! she is fine. We bought her all kinds of treats and special stuff…. and found her another set of persons… because we loved her enough to not sentence her to a life under the bed…. much like Harry Potter under the stairs…

Here… Have a gratuitous picture of Shadow Cat and Zip the Beast Dog

 

Jun 26 2012

Alright stop …collaborate & listen…..

Author: Kerry

This time last year I was blogging about  my stomach doing somersaults of fear… dread rising in the back of my throat…. agitated…. unable to sleep….small child going to his summer visitation…

When he is gone… I cling to my phone… he texts me frequently out of boredom…. he is getting older… and therefore less willing to admit he wants his mom… but he gets weepy with my calls at night to wish him sweet dreams after only a day or two… We begin counting the days til he is back home…

Home.. That is what is different from this time last year…  My blog home is not the only place that changed… we moved into a house… and I moved my thoughts here…

I married Mr. Amazing followed by Smallest Child, Small Child, Mr. Amazing and I residing together… along with the dog… the cat… the two frozen dead fish…

Tiniest Child arrived safe and sound to Tall Child …

Small Child has had some personal changes as well… His voice cracked at voice lessons this week… and he giggled about it… Zits are erupting on his cute little button nose…. Hair… in places it wasn’t before…

He leaves for visitation in 35 hours …I’m terrified every moment he is gone… there are so many issues  … alcohol consumption… pornography… a hand gun… no gun safe…. supervision…. nutrition… cleanliness… that he will have to combat with his dad…

<insert scream here>

he loves his dad… but he is scared of him as well… but this being the fourth summer visitation… it is so far the shortest time his dad has requested…. ten days…. and then another week sometime in august….

I noticed him hugging a little longer a few days ago… as well as building a few extra walls around himself….

I noticed myself doing the same thing…

Our family has completely changed… again… since this time last year… I look to the next year…

Brought to you by… Lack of sleep… panic attacks… and Mama Kats Prompt….

Jun 19 2012

… NOT Your Ami… My Ami

Author: Kerry

Week two of Summer Vacation .. Small child is old enough to stay home alone all day this year… Sure I have it split up… Picnic with the neighbor kids once a week… Lawn Mowing on Thursdays for his Grandparents.. which then morphs into a day spent with Grandma… which he so desperately needs at this time in his life… Every other weekend and each Monday afternoon into evening with his Father… He has a couple of weeks of a Music camp scheduled next month… and his birthday… and we have already managed one trip to the lake…. All in All it will be a quiet summer… Sometimes he tells me he misses our other summers… that he misses the pools… and the different beds…. and I just laugh at the memories… Single Mom… Two amazingly wonderful deserving of a million trips to Disneyland children… no money… Summer time…  We needed a break… Blind Folds securely fastened around their eyes… Weaving in out of traffic on the Freeway… Describing scenery to them that is not really there…. Small child was small… Tall child just played along because well…. swimming pool!…. “Now we are driving through Texas… Look! Steer” Tall Child: “Moooooooooooo” Small Child: “I wanna see!”…. “Florida! I can see the ocean!” Tall Child: “From Utah to Florida in 45 minutes… my you are magic” Small Child: ” Yeah! you are magic!!”…. After having driven around enough to ensure I have even confused Tall child … I pull into an airport Hilton… Put the car in park… Take off their blind folds and announce “MIAMI!!!!” Tall Child: Eye Roll as she jumps out of the car to look around…. Small Child full of wonder: “Miami???”… That’s right …. We spend two nights in that hotel… eating at the cafe… swimming in the pool…. watching movies in the room… walking around an area of town neither of them were familiar with…. fed ducks at the pond…. THE MAGIC OF CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST!!!… I let them unpack their bags and put their clothes in the hotel drawers… we stopped at a convenient store for goodies… ICE MACHINE!!! … the stuff childhood dreams are made of….  and as we were checking out Tall child who has been won over by the magic of room service is no longer rolling her eyes asks Small child… “Did you like Miami?”… “Not your ami… MYYYY ami”…. “No honey.. that’s the name Miami… It’s not mine or yours… it is just Miami”…. “Not YOUR AMI…. MY AMI!!!” … Through laughter I try to back her up… and his frustration level continues to rise…. and his mumbles under his breath all the way to the car… “not your ami…”…. and no one even asks questions as we arrive at our home sun-kissed… and happy… 15 minutes from the hotel…. He runs off with his hotel pen and paper to save them in his treasure chest… He is turning 13 this summer… Tall child is off with the Tiniest child of all…. He still has never made it to Disneyland…. But I am thinking we will make it back to His Ami this year…. fuck the Happiest Place on Earth!

This post is inspired by… if not slightly deviating away from the prompt “Time for a break! Show us where you go for quiet time.”

Jun 18 2012

… Polka Dot Polka Dot Polka Dot

Author: Kerry

Took smallest child and Mr. Amazing to see Madagascar 3 for Fathers Day… Adorable… Dont be put off by the fact that it is the third one… We all know the reputation they get… Just trust the Marketing Genius that put that together… Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman are still fighting to get home to their beloved Big Apple. Their journey takes them through Europe where they find the perfect cover: a traveling circus, which they reinvent – Madagascar style…. It has that little bundle of pink cuteness giggling… Mr amazing giggling… and me dancing…. Da da da da da da da da circus… da da da da dada da da afro… circus afro… circus.. afro….

May 31 2012

I couldn’t come up with any other legitimate reason to use the word “clit” in my blog… But this week… It happened…

Author: Kerry

If you’ve been reading this for a while, you know that I make a half assed attempt to write one of Mama Kat’s  writing prompts from her writers workshop each week… well… because she is amazing… and two… I love the opportunities to work these stories into my blog, and just when I couldn’t come up with any other legitimate reason to use the word “clit” in my blog… this week… It happened… she gave me that reason… And I couldn’t pass it up… But there was another prompt that also made me smile when I read it… So I am writing both…

1.) Is your child a morning person? Share a story, picture or list of reasons that supports your opinion.
2.) I almost named my child _______, but chose _______ instead because…

 

It’s a BOGO… Buy One Get One…. even though you didn’t really buy anything at all… and chances are you are going to find these stories less hilarious and endearing than I do… well because he is Mine… and I love him

I Almost named my child “Tattianna Dawn”, But chose Johnathon instead because… About my fourth ultra sound at 21 weeks (I was a very High Risk Pregnancy, having miscarried several before, and being told I would never have a child) the Ultrasound technician said… “and this little line of pearls are his spine”… “hers” I corrected… they had told me two times with two previous ultra sounds that it was a girl… I had bought the fairy wall paper trim… and had the diaper bag embroidered with her name… and put up the wall stickers… and bought the crib bedding .. and bumpers… and “No, His” she corrected me… “They said it was a girl” I repeated calmly… monotone…. menacingly… “Well…” Zooms in on vital organ… “That is either the biggest clit I have ever seen… or you are having a boy” and I stared in awe at the monitor… and exchanged everything tearfully for Winnie the pooh … the tears of sadness and exchanging of pink for blue were exchanged for tears of joy only nine weeks later (very early) when my healthy little (really little 5pd) boy arrived and I never ever would’ve imagined having him be anyone else….

<Spongebob Voice> Thirteen Years Later 

(almost… thirteen years in about 6 weeks! from this morning!!)

6:30 am – Open Door “Good Morning sweet boy! Wake up! Last week of School”

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” Gutteral groan, full of drool gurgles… burrows deeper into bed

“Get up! We don’t want to be late”

“Unnnngggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” Gutteral groan,lifts pillow… Buries head under it

I walk over to the bed and rub the small of his back… His knees are tucked up under him… still… just like I have found him every morning since I can remember… Butt in the air…. I smooth back his once baby soft blonde hair, that is now course and thick… and still the color of straw away from his face and look at his perfect little squinched eyes… beautiful skin with one almond-shaped freckle on his nose (it really is almond-shaped… I didn’t know that happened) and I pull out the Mom voice “Dude”….. A smile spreads across that face… because he knows he has gotten under my skin… “Now”…

“Grrrrrrrr” flings the pillow at the cat that is sleeping at his feet and glares at the window and the light coming through it… as if asking “How dare the sun rise”…. tosses back his covers… and I exit the room… running into Mr Amazing in the hall….

“There is a Zombie in there this morning”

“Uhhhhhhhhhggggggg!!!” from behind the shut door…. Small Child is not a morning person.

May 29 2012

MIB3 … Just once…

Author: Kerry

You know what? … knowing I hate sequels (especially by the third) … knowing that the actors that I once loved…. are well… old…figuring that there was just nothing more ridiculous to add to the story… I didn’t think there was anyway I would end up at Men in Black 3 this weekend… Small child however… well… he had different plans… He LOVES the first two… and when he saw the trailer for the third was so excited… So we took him… and just prepared to blow 40 bucks on a bad show… to make him happy… THEN magic happened…. I LOVED it… it had every feel good thing about the Men in Black series… the songs in the background… the familiar banter between the beloved, well aged actors…. It was Cheesy… Over the Top… and Perfect! The aliens were a 100 times cooler… and I even allowed myself to get past the cheesiness of it… and really tear up at the end… It’s okay to let that happen sometimes…. I loved it! The violence was not gross… the language was tame… no over the top sexual innuendos… I’m not even sure why it was PG13…. See it… If you’re a fan…(I’m totally over the 3D fad… but this was worth it in 3D… very cool effects)

 

May 21 2012

Ring of fire Solar Eclipse … 5 Eclipse Myths… and some moral integrity!

Author: Kerry

We are fortunate enough to live in the path of this years solar eclipse… Mr amazing stood in line at the local planetarium for 45 minutes to get us glasses… They were completely sold out… by the end of the day….

This image was actually captured with Mr Amazing’s cell phone… through the glasses film… from our driveway… 

I know that in our days, eclipses aren’t a big mystery — they occur when the moon passes between Earth and the sun. But imagine what they used to think!! Throughout history, the sun’s significance, along with its mysteriousness, have yielded an array of solar myths… There are five… Really cool myths about eclipses on  livescience.com

And you can read about those… and see a million beautiful eclipse pictures on the front page of every newspaper and magazine today… But something getting a lot less coverage is 75,000 people converging on Chicago yesterday for the NATO protest was also pretty amazing…. Just felt it was my moral obligation to make sure you know about both


May 18 2012

Heads or Tails??

Author: Kerry

Mr. Amazing took small child Mothers Day shopping last Sunday morning, Small child had arrived home from his fathers… slightly defeated looking and present-less… and although I had assured him it was okay far in advance to this happening yet again… and talked him through how it would be okay days ahead… it didn’t make him feel much better…

So off they went… To what we call the “Magic Store” (its really the local Michael’s craft store… but the kids think magic comes out of there.. because whatever we do next is always amazing with our supplies…and they are right)

(imagine the spongebob narrator voice) TWO HOURS LATER

Small child finally after several nervous breakdowns and panic attacks chooses a gift and they come home…

Small child has a problem… I don’t know when it started exactly.. he has had it as long as I can remember… Small child cannot make decisions.. he wants them made for him… he is at a time in his life where he needs to be able to decide for himself…

I have never seen panic attacks (full fledged sweat on the brow, swallowing back vomit, room spinning panic attacks) over something as simple as where would you like to go for dinner… but he has them… he always has… we are working on it

Today I found this from one of my favorite people that I’ve never met’s blog… and I was inspired to do this (see image below)!!! For small child to keep with him at all times… this is by far the best advice Ive ever been given… In my adult life.. and I bet the same is true for my cute boy…

“Make one option heads, and the other tails. Hold the coin in your hand for a minute, visualizing the two options on either side. Take a deep breath, and toss the coin into the air. Suddenly it doesn’t matter which side the coin lands on – because you know which side you’re hoping it lands on. You have your answer. And it’s the right one.”