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I’ve never even had a rose ceremony!?!?!

mama kats Welcome to the most shocking rose ceremony in writing prompt history.

Please award roses to the ten people (or items) in your life that you’d like to continue pursuing a relationship with.

In no particular order and without further ado…

single red rose

1 – I could fill half of this list with just those who reside in my home… But I am feeling the need to dig deep and really take a personal inventory of that which I am grateful for in my life… That being said… Those in my home deserve mention… Mr Amazing is the love of my life… He is my best friend… and I love him so hard. Small Child (not so small) continues to amaze me daily with his bright charismatic self…. He is the greatest thing that has ever happened to my life… and I can not express the gratitude I have for him… I admire him so much. Smallest Child (Ms SassyPants) is the latest breath of fresh air into my existence… we have really stepped up our StepParent/StepChild game… and I have loved every minute of it… She is so clever… and I am honored to be part of her upbringing…. So that is a Rose for my little Family. (With an honorable mention for Tall Child and her three Tinies!)

FamilyOh My Gosh!

2- Betty Perea – This woman has brought more joy to my life than I can express… She has given more wisdom…invited palpable spirit…  inspired more crazy… and driven more motivation than I can explain… I love her… She teaches humility and gratitude without even saying a word… She is wild and funny… you never know what she is going to say next… She thrives off of keeping people on their toes and she has been the greatest mother like friend I have ever known… She brings a different perspective to the table… and I love her mysticism, skepticism, and superstitions. She gave me my love of coffee and mexican food.   A Rose to my old soul (With an honorable mention to her children, who I love beyond measure)

Betty and Boys

3- Tolman – I have known this chicka forever! She is my Cookie Wife.. My Soul Sister… My Co Parent (for her smalls and mine :))… She goes on all my crazy adventures with me… She wore the Bloggess’s Red Dress with me… We’ve been through marriages and divorces with each other… we have laughed as well as cried the hardest in our lives in front of each other… we are linked by a special energy that is thicker than blood… She is the cheese in my enchilada 🙂 A rose for her… with all the thorns cut off… because just once something beautiful should come to her without the trials. (I would make it rain roses on her beautiful babies who I treat like my own)

Tolman

4 – The Fluffinator! My Stef! My favorite heavy metal loving animal enthusiast teenage rearing sexy beast on the planet… She is my escape… She is my safe place… she is my cohort on adventures that we are way too old to take… She is down to earth… a fantastic mother… she is beautiful… has a passion for purple and a strength like no one else I have ever met. She is so intelligent and she has the biggest heart! She is always up to something fun and most nights seem to end with fireworks and alcohol when we are together.  Raising our two boys together has been amazing… we call each other for advice… to vent… and to discuss anything supernatural. I do not know how I lucked into her entering my life but I am grateful for it every day…. Small Child (not so small) will always think of her as his other mother… She is my back up mom… and I miss her! Roses all around… (honorable mention to her crazy kiddos who I freaking love like crazy)

Stef

5 – Michelle – She is actually my cousin.. I mean that is how we met… but she became my friend in our adult lives… She has more integrity and acceptance in her little finger than I could ever hope to achieve… She is funny… She is talented… She is a great mom.. and has always always been there for me… no matter what I have needed. She is so kind… and when someone starts gossiping or being negative she is the first one to shut it down. She is always willing to try new things and lets me just be me. Our kids have trick or treated together every year for as long as I can remember… Eventually we are going to have to find someone else to steal candy from! –  A Rose

 

Halloween

6 – Danielle – There is a story behind Danielle.. She is a close friend of mine’s daughter… a few years ago… We lost her mother… It was heartbreaking. From this came something wondrous and miraculous into my life however… This stunningly brilliant young woman… she is amazing… my children worship the ground she walks upon… and we would gladly just keep her forever… She has this awesome throaty laugh that reminds my of her beautiful mothers laugh… and I cannot imagine our lives without her in it… She is the s’more master… the butt toucher… the ceiling walker… and the best kind of big sister  figure on the planet for my smalls… She will always always have a home to come too and a family who loves her…. (honorable mention to her brother who I love and have great hopes for)-A Rose.

Danielle

7- Enough with all the estrogen! Lets give some Testosterone some attention – My Christian! This guy has been my friend for 18 years now… I have watched him grow up… and he has watched me mature (see how delicately I handled the age difference?) He is my hot cuban mess… and he is the greatest thing since sliced bread… I love him so much… he is so well spoken.. he passion for history is contagious… his love for family is admirable… I have told him things I could never tell another soul on the planet and knew he would tell me how stupid I was when I needed him to… he would also tell me how loved I was when I needed him to… I love to discuss philosophy and politics with him… and I love that no matter how much time passes… when we hit rock bottom… repeatedly… respectively… we will always have a friend within each other to lean on and shoulder to cry on. I am a better person because of him. – A Rose

Christian

8- This Guy… If you know me… you know why – Zip the Wonder Dog – A Rose to you my buddy… you did it! I remember pleading with you when you were hit by the car to just live long enough to get him through the divorce… then again when he lost his dad … to stick around long enough to get him by… he couldn’t lose so much at once.. but you just keep ticking… Please… just get him through High School… You are the most constant thing in his life and we love you. (Honorable mention to the cat…  Shadow Cat… I remember the day I brought you home to my very scared and sad little family… you were enough of a distraction to get through the first days of some very hard realities… and for that I am grateful… You tolerate us.)

 

ZipZipShadow

9 – Now,.. The Prompt did mention items… and I cannot forget this little beauty I am typing this away on…My cute little purple coated macbook air. I am sorry I neglect you… I am sorry I never update you… I let your battery die… you collect dust. You are the tool of my creativity and I have slept snuggled up to you more often that I care to admit…. A Rose.

IMG_3249

10 – Myself… I am taking the easy way out… I have the most amazing list of people I should have included… I have nieces and nephews who I adore… such an awesome list quirky  life long friends… Family… But the truth is there was a time in my life I didn’t have any of you… and Depression worked rather determinedly to keep it that way… But this awesome woman never gave up… she never forgot that depression was lying to her… she worked her ass off… as a parent.. as an employee… as an artist… as an individual with a different way of seeing and doing things… and I would very much like to apologize to her for the abuse she has endured at my own hand… from my own stupid decisions.. and I would like to thank her for hanging in there… despite it all … and being such a bad ass. I’m funny… Smart… and my cleverness is overflowing. I kinda like me. Thanks to everyone who loved me enough for both of us on the days I cant love myself. – A Rose

Kerry

The End of 2015

Hey… oh hey there… I havent been here a lot lately… I have been out doing anything other than what I set out to do this year… and I am loving the shit out of it!

Have a wordless wednesday post worthy of my attitude

We did our first ever family photos last month… Here you go 🙂

Family Funny Faces Cropped

ha ha! okay… really… we are fucking adorable… right?

Here we are ... Myself.. the middle aged chick in black... Mr Amazing right there next to me in the beard... Tall Child - birther of the tinys... Small child (not so small) and smallest child :)

Here we are … Myself.. the middle aged chick in black… Mr Amazing right there next to me in the beard.Tall Child – birther of the tinys.Small child (not so small) and smallest child 🙂

Who are the Tinys you ask? oh you didn’t? well… Im gonna show them off anyways (My Three Grandsons)

Oh My Gosh!

I Double Dog Dare You…. then Link Up!

Writing Prompt :A Time I Was TrickedDescribe a time you made things…awkward.

 

 

 

There is SOOOOO much material to choose from!!! I decided to go to my very oldest Cohort… Mind you … we have been cohorting since we were 12… there is a history here (see how she got here nickname)…  I dare you to ask your best friend! or child… or S/O… I hope you have as many good stories as I do. If you do it… share it… post the link in my comments!

Phone Junk 2012 3328

Click the image to see the time she and I put on the Blogess’s Dress… I love this woman!

Me: Sooo I need an example of a time I made things awkward…
Cookie Wife:In a crowd or just a personal experience?
Me: I guess there is a large selection? either… for a blog post
Cookie Wife: The several years you hinted towards a threesome in mixed company;
Me: Rotflmao!!! Oh That… That is simply to get a reaction
Cookie Wife: ummmm.. setting me up with <Name removed for obvious reasons> (the other dates weren’t awkward, just disastrous, Or just good stories to tell later on!)
Me: Too Funny!!! like the time I was Drunk and trying out <Name removed for obvious reasons> waterbed with you guys… Yes… that is awkward <I feel it is important to notate I was divorced and ALL clothing was on and it was a giggle fest not some sex pot>
Cookie Wife: I’ve blocked that out. How about… Every party that your parents are there…That’s awkward.
Me: Rotflmao!!! why???
Cookie Wife: Oh you know, we vent about our parents and the crap they do… then we have to smile and pretend we don’t know anything.
Me: bahahahahaha
Cookie Wife: Ummm.. being in the room when you’re cheeky with Mr Amazing
Me: BAHAHAH! When am I cheeky?
Cookie Wife: ALL THE TIME!!
Me: Well… he is cute… I try to make out with him in public as often as possible
Cookie Wife: And I’m over here like: A guy smiled at me today.
Me: I smile at you everyday!
Cookie Wife:  So the guy is really cute! And he didn’t have a ring! … incentive to get to the gym every morning!
Me: Want me to come make it awkward for you?
Cookie Wife: Noooooooooooooo!!!! That reminds me… Ice Skating!! That was awkward
Me: OMG! Seriously… I had a crush on that guy and I was married <insert note here about being married at 19 to someone no where near my age…> I needed you to take him off my hands… Its your JOB!
Cookie Wife: Typical you pawning them off on me…
Me: Ice Skating Guy was hot!
Cookie Wife: That one time you sent me a Jesus pic… that was awkward.
Me: That was AWESOME! Cause you always sent me coffee and wine pictures!
Cookie Wife : Because I can’t use them anymore! 🙁 <Insert note here about how I recently was SO supportive about her becoming all religious like>
Me: Well… I can’t use Jesus
I need a section on my blog titled “I Couldn’t Make This Shit Up”

Frozen: Letting Go

I know.. .I know! Believe me I know that I shouldn’t waste my time getting drawn into this… I know that it is energy spent on something that shouldn’t be given… I read it yesterday… much like everyone else I would assume… and at first I laughed… Then my irritation grew… and as the day wore on I just couldn’t shake it… the words had settled in my skin… and my least favorite feeling in this myriad of emotions I go through is shame… I was ashamed of my friend who shared it on Facebook voicing her agreement (this is how I came across it to begin with, before it was ever picked up by the local media) … I was embarrassed to be living in Utah… where not only is this popular opinion but it was picked up by the media… Every fiber was annoyed… by the name of the blog… and every hateful word typed out… I am not going to counter her opinions… I just figured I would do a little review and opinionating of my own…. you know… from a well behaved person that has not lost her ever loving mind to hate and paranoia.

Frozen: Letting Go

Let me paraphrase… The movie opens with these two adorable sisters… laughing and playing in the snow and ice created by the eldest Elsa … Surely this is dark magic right? Sorcery? Witchcraft? don’t you worry… its a Disney Movie… and its JUST A STORY…  I saw it five times… Its full of dark magic and sorcery… and death… and treason… trolls who adopt the poor guy with apparently poor personal hygiene  being raised by a reindeer… but the poor guy with the Swedish accent it surely the problem… Oh that and the fact that the girl… who DOESN’T FEEL THE COLD takes of her repressive cape that she had to wear for a coronation is being considered to sex it up… hey hey… who am I to judge… I’m sure the people taking issue with this also wear these swim suits… and I’m cool with that…

else-and-anna

My favorite part of the movie is the Let it Go sequence… as I am sure anyone with a 7 year old knows… it is catchy… and dramatic… and the graphics are beautiful… and everyone is covering it!! (See my Themesong Thursday Post)

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the Queen.

Queen of isolation… I get that… Trapped by expectations

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried

Storm inside… raging emotions… Okay, I don’t have snow flakes sprinkling from my fingertips… but I am relating to this chic.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know

Ahhh sweet sweet emancipation… from worrying about what others think of me… from judgement… and cruel words.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door

I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Freedom from fear… self confidence… self discovery… Fantastic!

Let it go, let it go

Let go of the negative… hey smallest child… I hope you memorize each and every word of it!

I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry

Ha ha! okay okay… crying is okay… even if people see it… but not “You” not the people that I am letting go of… not the people that wanted me to be someone I am not

Sing sing sing… lots more words… storm rages on… etc

You get the idea… I take absolutely no offense to someone shedding what was forced upon them and coming to their own opinions, aspirations, dreams and I will cheer on my children whether it is at their graduation from college… or a pole dancing competition (please please let it not be pole dancing… so awkward)

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and so… in conclusion… if you have to take some moral to what is really just an awesome story with fantastic music and stunning visuals… take this… Love is unconditional… Sisters before Misters…. also… reindeer raise gentlemen… Braids are sexy and trolls are love experts…. That is all

SO someone needs to explain to me how she gets from cryokinetic power to same-sex attraction?

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OH! and someone better tell their kids… whether oaken likes men or not (which I don’t understand why that is relevant when he is just selling some damn carrots) that a Swedish accent isn’t required for someone to be gay… they can choose that for themselves… and they will be accepted and loved and keep their voice 🙂

Frozen-oaken

The Cookie Wife…

mama kats Share a Fall recipe that you’re loving this season.
Soooo I don’t really cook… or bake… But I do love me some fall recipes… So let me let you in on a little secret I have… It’s kind of a magical thing…. I live in Utah… Where not only do plural marriages have a reputation of being practiced… but some of the best baking happens! So I did the only logical thing I could do …. I took a cookie wife! You heard me right!

 

me:  <Yawn/stretch/puts an arm over her shoulder move/Drops Recipe in lap>

Cookie Wife:  Aren’t you hilarious???

me:  Smoooooth… I believe the word you were looking for is smooth

Cookie Wife:  Or subtle…

me:  Bahahaha!

Cookie Wife:  Guess what is the best thing ever??

me: ??

Cookie Wife:  Maple blueberry sausage!!! I’ll bet I could make it just as yummy with ground turkey!

me: MMMMMMMMMMMMMM I wanna eat it all!

Cookie Wife:  I made blueberry pancakes, maple blueberry sausage, crock pot hash brown scrambled eggs & juice & milk.

me:  … Small Child ate at school … I ate a leftover taco time bean burrito.

 

HAPPY OCTOBER EVERYONE!!!

October

Meet the tallest :)

I don’t write often about Tallest Child… Because she is all growed up… and out on her own with the tiniest of all child… cooking another one in her belly!

But this weeks writing prompt only could be dedicated to her… because well… ha! she was freaking stuck!!

mama kats

 “A time somebody got stuck”

Heather

This is my baby girl… My daughter… and if you have been reading for a while her stories are intertwined with mine through out… I write about her on Mothers Day cause I’m her mama dammit! I shared my angels girls story of her angel… (with her permission) … because I was so proud of her… She brings me joy … She is part of every humorous story I share about small child growing up in fact… she was a key part to smiffbib even being created… I’m sure there are a million more tall child stories on here… but I’ve linked in a lot if you want some history on this beautiful woman pictured above… My god I love her… and how we show our love? By embarrassing the shit out of her!

“A time somebody got stuck”

She was standing on the stairs that went upstairs, I was standing in the kitchen below her in a Romeo and Juliet almost moment… I say almost because we aren’t Romeo and Juliet… and then… without really understanding why… she decided to shove her knee into the metal bars of the banister… you know… to see if it fit…. She stood there nonchalantly for a moment… trying to slide it back out… but after a few minutes began to panic… We (The smalls father and I) took a few minutes to laugh hysterically… trying to push her … and pull her knee… before I began to panic!… I start thinking the fire department is going to have to come and cut her out of this thing… when the father type figure had a genius idea…. Butter! you should use butter to get out of these kinds of things… and I run to the fridge…. no butter…. BUT! we own butter flavored Pam… which is really the same thing… sprayed her knee… and rescued her from its clutches…Never to be lived down again…

heatherandbabyPsst… Tallest Child… you know about the mothers curse right?.. those Tinys are gonna make for some great stories!!!