Articles

Oct 27 2014

Oh Hell No…

Author: Kerry

“The house was haunted. Well, at least it was haunted while I was there. As soon as I left, the house cleared up.
” – Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

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I remember when I was 15… a group of us kids took some canned food for donations and entry into the haunted house just a few days before Halloween… I was so excited… I loved Halloween.. I loved scary movies… I loved being out late at night with my friends… and then I heard the chainsaw roar… and we walked through the doors …

I am behind my friend and have strong-armed him into position directly in front of me… Like a shield… someone you never see walks around the room… occasionally pausing to stroke your face or jab at your neck with a hand in strangle formation or the point of something sharp… You never see any of this coming. It just happens. In the dark.

Chain saws… screams… CLOWNS… it is 45 minutes of hell… most of which my eyes are closed… I can now feel my friends skin through the t shirt that I have shredded while clinging to it… Later… he shows me actual claw marks left on his back… as he informs me I was the scariest part of the whole experience for him.

Never ever again did I go to a haunted house… I ride through spook rides at amusement parks with my eyes closed and act like I enjoy the whole thing… This past Friday Small Child asked to go with some friends to the SAME HAUNTED HOUSE (I could not make this up) I agree to let him go… I even offer to drive them… I drop them off at the gate warning them to be careful… and I move to the furthest location of the parking lot and I wait… allowing them to believe I have left.

THERE IS NO WAY I AM LEAVING MY BABY THERE!

after sitting there in the dark 10 minutes or so… I hear the scraping of feet draggin through the gravel of the lot… It is pitch black… I start looking frantically around me… I see several figures moving through the parking lot… in rags… and walking with a dead limb or a dislocated looking shoulder… SHIT!… I text Mr. Amazing…. he is soooooo sorry… BAM! on my back window… and swamp voodoo mans face is pressed up against the glass… I scream … pee a little (okay not really… but if my bladder had had ANYTHING in it… would’ve happened)

and flipped the stupid kid off

OH HELL NO!

I crack my window and inform the monsters that I am waiting for some teens that are inside… and they can move on to the next victim… and spend the next hour checking all my mirrors like a wild woman.

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Small child loved it.

Next year he can drive his own damn self!

Shout out for this walk down memory lane… and the nightmares are dedicated to the greatest writers workshop in the world!

mama kats Something that scared you when you were young…are you still afraid?

Aug 06 2014

Mothers Curse? I think not.

Author: Kerry

mama katsWhat grade is your child going to be in?

Share a memory you have of yourself at that same age

Sophomore… he is going to be a freaking Sophomore…. Kill me dead…

I paid the registration fees this week… I almost killed over then and there… I took him to get his learners permit… which he failed… ha! Well… So did I the first time… and that is exactly where our similarities end…

My Sophomore year… I lost my virginity… I had already experimented in every known substance invented at the time…and continued to do so… I smoked camel cigarettes… I had half my head shaved and the half that still had hair was a strange blend of black and purple… with my blonde roots poking through it… I wore clothes with bullet holes in them and safety pins… I owned and lived in combat boots… I drew thick black lines around my eyes and powdered my face with white makeup… I owned and used liberally black lipstick…I frightened small children … I am giggling as I type this… I listened only to Depeche Mode, The Cure, OMD, Eurasure, Sex Pistols, Pink Floyd… and the sound track to Phantom of the Opera…I was taken out of the school that year… twice… by ambulance.

<Knocking on all the wood I can reach>

My Small is enrolled in Musical Theater, He is playing the Viola in the Orchestra, His favorite music is from the 50’s or The Beatles, Johnny Cash, The Eagles, CCR, Three Dog Night… Everything I had never even heard of until he began to really discover his flavor of life. He has more manners in his little finger than I do in my entire being… and yet I keep taking the accolades for having such a polite young man… when the truth is he has taught me more about manners than I ever have him.

The mothers curse is such a common joke on social media… maybe my mother didn’t speak to me enough to utter the words… but I am screaming mine from the roof tops!

I HOPE HE HAS CHILDREN JUST LIKE HIM!

Smallest child is entering 3rd grade… 3rd graders tend to be assholes…I do not remember 3rd grade at all… but I will hold out the speaking of the curse words until her Sophomore year… just to be fair…  because she is definitely JUST LIKE Mr. Amazing… I would assume his mother cursed him multiple times.

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Aug 06 2014

I raised these…

Author: Kerry

Just Sayin’  (This is the infamous too old to visit and rarely photographed Tall Child, with Small Child)

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Jul 17 2014

Pure Joy…

Author: Kerry

You have brought me nothing but pure joy since that very first moment… Watching you grow… absorbing the world around you… inquisitive and delighted to learn… I’m reminded each day of the miracles you bring into my world.

As all mothers do…  I have goals… dreams and wishes for you

Don’t ever apologize for who you are, for what you want, for how hard you have worked or where you are going in life. I don’t doubt you will work hard… but I can already see signs that you are quick to apologize… to back down. Don’t. You have learned this from me and I wish I could take it back… Stand your ground… be proud of you.  Do not live to make others happy or to measure up to someone else’s expectations…  Be Johnathon.  This is enough.

I wish for the kind heart I see you in now to stay firmly in place…  Keep it, nurture it, handle it with care.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are too sensitive… You are the first to hold your step sister’s hand when she is scared… the first to run for the ice pack when someone is hurt… the first to panic when people fight because the fighting  for no reason is perplexing to you…   I couldn’t live without your affection and kindness.

Seek joy… Pure Joy… Every single day, find something that makes you happy and do it.  Be it big or small – an act of kindness, listening to a song you love, calling a friend – it quite simply doesn’t matter.  What matters is that you spend a portion of each day smiling and laughing.

Your dreams: do them.  Your heart: follow it…  Your family: treasure them… Your friends: be loyal to them… Your fears: embrace them and allow them to make you stronger…  The money you earn: respect it… Your passion: LIVE IT.

I will always call you bug… buddy… neenerfan… angel boy. I am so proud to call you my son.

Today I am going to take you to attempt to get your learners permit and I am going to put you behind the wheel of a car… I feel like there is an energy… a force in you that I cannot slow down… or contain… I miss your small face… but your deep voice is such a sense of pride for me… you are such a fine young man. Happy Birthday my baby…. and many more.

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Jul 14 2014

8 is great!

Author: Kerry

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Watching you grow into the young girl that you are has been an amazing journey and I know that I am a huge part of that… I do not do this to win your affection … I do it because I love you with every part of my heart.

It’s amazing to me that you’re so grown up now… You are 8 already… Our 6.5 years flash before my eyes pretty regularly… looking back now your personality is still as precocious as it was from day one… yet you love so much more than I ever imagined you would I am convinced of this watching you attending to your sister with more heart than I thought you had…. You love so fiercely

My wish for you this year is simple… I hope that you always allow your wonderful self to shine… Do not let others tell you how to act or who to be… Do not let others let you waiver from your own path… Above all else… do not let anyone make you feel anything other than amazing… You are intelligent… sincere… empathetic… giving… creative… and oh so beautiful… I know that you have been blessed with everything you need in life to succeed and find happiness… This world is an amazing and challenging place… It is yours to savor… and navigate… Live each day with a sense of gratitude … I will be beside you every step of the way… I will hold your hand… cheer you on… pick you up… and watch you discover all that it means to be you… I love you pretty facey.

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Jul 02 2014

Is it Wine-Thirty yet?

Author: Kerry

Okay- I have been sick… since it is Wordless Wednesday rather than give you details… I give you my sick face.

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I look like I need a drink huh… well… the medications I am on to fix unsaid ailments don’t allow for alcohol…. Small child is celebrating with Chocolate Milk Thirty….

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Cheers?

 

Jul 01 2014

Maleficent and Movement

Author: Kerry

mama kats Share your top favorite photo you took in June. Give us the back story

A lot of changes came our way in June… we did some rearranging of our lives… and  rearranging of some furniture. Small Child decided he was tired of being small… and moved into the finished basement… and made himself a Man Cave…. When he proposed this I figured the best way out of it was to tell him he had to do it all himself… Within 24 hours the toy room had been moved into my paint room… my paint room had been moved into the bedroom next to mine … finally removing himself from it and down into what was originally the toy room. This is not a small amount of furniture… he moved wardrobes, book shelves, dressers and all their contents…. sigh… and left me…

During this movefest smallest child asked for more time with us… and we took the appropriate actions to make that happen… We have her more sleeps… but some of the waking time is less… I am pretty sure only people who go through visitation and custody battles will get this… the change is hard but we are going into a 5 sleep stretch starting today… and I am so glad…

All of this is the back story to this photo… I found some time to paint… Smallest child has requested paintings for the Toy Room decor… The very best part about painting is not caring how they turn out… I paint for the motion of painting… for the soul soothing color blending music listening aroma therapy infusing experience…. and it doesn’t matter the outcome… I have the coolest fan club in the world

My Malificent Shadow

My Malificent Shadow

Jun 19 2014

Dead Animals & Fathers Day

Author: Kerry

mama katsSomething your family did to celebrate Father’s Day.

We looked at dead animals… Normally this isn’t something I would blog about… and I would not normally blog about what we did on Fathers Day either… separately they are a little too educational and unimpressive for a blog post…. but when combined… I suppose I feel like it is just freaky enough to qualify for a post… So here it is!

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Before you believe I am lacking in the tact department… or better yet… Completely heartless….

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It was super educational and fascinating… and a day at the museum on a Sunday is somewhat our “thing”

Some parts of the exhibit might have been a bit creepy for us… this exhibit was bound to start some interesting… thought-provoking conversations with our kids.  The human skeleton… with all its attachments… well… attached… it was a man… elicited some laughter from small child… Smallest child just kept asking to see the butts…. Otherwise… no nightmares were reported… (I copied the following paragraph of info from the Leonardo’s website… hence the big words and lack of ellipses) 

The animals on display have been preserved via plastination, a process which replaces fluids with plastics. The plastination process is also able to “peel back” layers of the featured animals, revealing intricate blood vessel, muscle and digestive systems, giving viewers a unique view into the spectacular biological systems that rule nature. You’ll have the chance to sneak inside a rabbit’s brain and catch a shark frozen in action. (All of the animals featured died of natural causes – so no animals were harmed as this exhibit was created.)

This chic wasn’t on display… or this blog post would have read entirely different… and probably have been more entertaining.

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Jun 10 2014

The King of Patience… Really

Author: Kerry

mama katsFather’s Day inspired! Share something your husband does better than you as a parent.

He is such a hard working man and makes it known that family always comes first no matter what regardless of any situation… Also he is a loving man… he doesn’t mess around with the stereotypical things one might think of when you think of a man… He is not afraid to show his emotions and not afraid to express them…. He understands the complexity of a woman and mother and embraces those complexities to make him a better daddy…  He understands that his children are a part of him and makes it his duty to love… support… and encourage them as if they are his only priorities in the world… “Daddy” is the ultimate man in his daughters eyes. … No one can top or ever compare to a daddy that has been around for their child. 

I would like to believe that I also have the qualities listed above…  we are a blended family… and we have the same priorities as far as it goes… with our individual child… each others child… each other… extended family/ friends… careers…I am the talker… I am who they talk too… and confide in… and ask advice… We each have our roles… I am so grateful he fills his so well.

… He plays… as I type this he is engaged in a match of Magic the Gathering with my small… my small that adores him so much… even though he is not his dad… he loves him so… I don’t think for one second it has made losing his father any easier… But I do think it makes living with me 100% of the time more bearable 🙂

He plays with smallest child… barbies… lalaloopsy… I can hear him reading her bed time stories… and doing voices as she laughs.

He plays with the both of them on the beach… while I admonish them… and relax… and soak up the sun and savor the moment they are entertained…

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Happy Fathers Day to all you Dads… Living and In Heaven…or doing it alone… and to the Moms who are doing it alone… and Men who are dads to other Men’s children… 

Jun 04 2014

… The Lake!

Author: Kerry

On the last day of school each year we pick the smalls up from school with the car already packed and head out for the lake… and what a weekend it was!
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