Oral tradition tells us the earth began when Crawfish dove into the watery depths of the world and built the first landmass from mud at the bottom of the ocean. From these early beginnings, all things good sprang to life, including Me! So sit right back and I’ll tell a tale ….
Friday the 25th I went to the Dentist at 9 am to have a broken tooth fixed…. that I had cracked … on bread?? two days prior. This is where it started. The dentist felt my jaw crumbling underneath the broken tooth…. extracted it… did an emergency extraction of a molar on the opposite side… cut out the crumbling portion of my Jaw…. resectioned it… and put in bone grafts…. this gave me two black eyes and a black jaw line…. and apparently Covid.
I tested positive Tuesday…. Surprise! TWO YEARS!! for TWO YEARS I have done anything and everything they suggested to not get this…. and here it was finally.
Pause for the gratitude I feel for the fact that it was now… when there are medicines… vaccines… and room in the hospitals.
and it is a good thing… because even though I am fully vaccinated… and it is supposed to be a mild variant… It tried to kill me with in the first 24 hours. It is really disgusting to tell you about this… but I am a story teller so you get all the details!… I wake up feeling like someone has poured hot cement in my sinuses and chest everyday… Today for the first time, I had the presence of mind not to panic when this happened and choke down advil, which once it has kicked in allows me to be able to cough and swallow until I can breathe.
I’ve been quarantined in my bedroom since Tuesday- literally haven’t left it…. Mr Amazing just keeps sliding me what I need into the room. Ironically when we came to work at home- I bought this hospital tray as a desk…. bahahahaha soooo here I am using it in bed really in bed, not just sitting on a bed.
Why do I tell you all this? Well… because im not very professional.
While fevered I bought Mr Amazing a Digeridoo… and the cats an automatic laser pointer…. so this has not been for nothing <shrug>
Today was my secretly chosen date for Fairy Citys Annual Emergence (NUMBER 7!!!) obviously that is not happening… Luckily because I made it up- it can be rescheduled … there is something else eating away at this hippy heart and soul of mine… Ukraine. I have already donated every dime I can to help… and I feel completely helpless… I know that this will not mean anything to anyone but me… but I am dedicating my Fairy City this year to those brave people… to anything Anti-Putin …. all the words I paint… all the art I make… it is being acted out right now by those brave souls…. from the farmers laughing as they use a tractor to take a tank… to the people returning to fight…. to the people going to safety to return to fight another day…. they represent everything brave… and good… and kind… as well as the Syrian refugees… and those suffering in Myanmar… no… no not you… trucker convoy people… not you…. them! So on that note… So much love and light to all of you… and as always… We will be the hopeful
Globally, as of 18 February 2022, there have been 418,650,474 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 5,856,224 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 15 February 2022, a total of 10,279,668,555 vaccine doses have been administered.
Today our Governor held a press conference…. I who in the beginning of this all never missed a briefing. wasn’t aware of it ahead of time… part of my self care has been not watching and waiting … has been basically no “News” at all…. even the weather…. ha ha! So today I got the message that it was going to be a doozy a couple hours before it took place…. promptly forgot…. minutes before it started a different friend messaged and asked if I was watching…. so I did…. Here are the key bullets:
By March 31st our response will transition to what we are calling a “Steady State.” Our Department of Health will spend the next six weeks refining plans they have already started to develop to help get us there.
Some elements of the response, like testing and treatments, will transition to being the responsibility of our highly capable health care systems. This will allow our public health system to refocus on the elements of the response that a public health system would normally look after: disease surveillance, data collection and reporting, vaccinations, and public awareness.
This is not the “end” of the pandemic. This does not mean COVID-19 is going away. Or, that as a state, we are packing up and heading home. We will continue to see cases, and outbreaks, and hospitalizations, and, unfortunately, deaths. But it does mean that we are adapting how we respond to these things.
<Insert Deep Breaths Here>
I am SO ready…. I am Vaccinated… I am Boosted! It has been 2 years…. I have focused so much on the world and community these last 2 years… that I haven’t really talked about what condition I personally am in…. So here’s a run down:
They sent “High-Risk” people home from work- That was me…. Work is critical to me… not the money (trust me LOL) but because of my auto-immune issues it really was the last thing I could do…. Cant walk much or well…. etc… you know the drill…. so work kept me out in the world…. and then it was gone. (Not the work, the out in the world part)
Determined not to lose any strength or endurance…. I launched into some yoga poses…. a stepping machine…. and a drive daily.
All that stopped.
Then the stomach cancer.
Even walking or standing in my own home became hard.
So That Stopped.
Stomach cells of doom scraped out!
Return VERY intermittently to the office.
This week I was in my two days…. Last week too…. 4 out of the last 14 days I went to the outside…. at the end of the 4th day? I broke out in rashes and sunburned joints…. To say that I have lost ability is the understatement of the decade…. I’m not mad about it… hell no… I AM ALIVE…. and I am SO HAPPY to be alive.
But
Well….
I am going to need to get some strength back….
Look… I know I wont walk well again… I understand that without a hamstring walking distances is impossible…. but I would like to be able to sit in an upright position and engage in thought and conversation without it completely draining me of strength and energy…. so I’ve got some work to do.
I’ve got A LOT of mental health work to do as well… as well as spiritual work.
Spring is coming… I say that a lot… like a Mantra…. it is my mantra… this isn’t the game of thrones people! (though it has felt like it)
I am concerned that if right now it were required of me to work in office again full time, I would have to resign… (this is just conjecture btw. none of this is happening) …
I am also concerned with how to go out into the outside and do the things I love… without the people I love…. I have lost so many….
I am committed to doing both of these things however.
Baby Steps.
Now…. Lets take that situation I have shared about myself… my life… my well being… and apply it to the world… when you (like I often do) shake your head at the madness… the foolishness… the cruelty of the world… lets pretend it is me… and help it along… be patient with it… because you love it and know it is worth it (I really am so fortunate to have people feel this way about me, including myself)
Lets have the HARD conversations from a place of love…. and with grace have them often.
Lets not give up… or throw in the towel…
Lets celebrate the fact that we are still here… a little more weak… a little more soft…. a LOT more grey…. but here none the less.
Baby Steps.
After all… like they shouted from the rooftops in the beginning….
We are in this together.
My Fairy Sign Prediction from 2 years ago… is my biggest hope… and promise now.
You can reach a trained crisis counselor through the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by calling 800-273-8255 or texting 741741. (as we begin the third year of this pandemic… I will try to remember to start every post with this)
Globally, as of 7 January 2022, there have been 298,915,721 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 5,469,303 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 9 January 2022, a total of 9,126,987,353 vaccine doses have been administered.
It’s winter. It’s cold. It’s dark. I’ve been socially isolating. There… I said it.
I’m guessing I might not be alone. Social isolation in grief is oh so common. Social isolation in winter is oh so common. Conversations about social isolation? Not so common.
Sometimes social isolation isn’t just holing up at home and watching Netflix. It can be more nuanced. Let’s use my own social isolation as a social experiment in the form of a little self-interview:
Have you left the house?
Sure. I have been going to work, running errands, I do not live alone. I see other people all the time.
Have you been answering your phone?
Uhhhh . . . . not exactly.
Have you been replying to text messages?
Hmmmm . . . yes. Usually when someone finally texts me a question like
Your social isolation has felt completely terrible, right?
Wrong. I think it kind of started somewhere between the first of November and Thanksgiving I didn’t have to answer the question “how are you doing?”. I didn’t have to worry about anyone else’s needs. Not only did it not feel completely terrible… there were moments it felt glorious.
Well… if it felt pretty great then is wasn’t a problem, right?
Wrong again. When I was just taking a break and getting a little alone time… that wasn’t a problem. But that wasn’t social isolation, that was me being balanced and meeting my solitude needs. The problem was when I started actively ignoring people… avoiding people I love and care about.
You’re writing a post about your social isolation now… so did you know all along you were socially isolating?
At first I was just taking some happy… healthy alone time. I used the fact that I needed a break and that it was… at first… a good thing to stay in denial once it was creeping from alone time into isolation. Then I rationalized by saying things to myself like, “I’m still getting out and doing things – which really just means I’m going to work, it’s fine”. I still don’t really feel like coming out of it… or addressing it…. in fact I’m still feeling pretty much like being left alone.
You’ve admitted you have a problem… You are ready to work on this now right?
Let me introduce you to Omicron… Deltacron… and Flurona (End Interview)
Globally, as of the 19th November 2021, there have been 255,324,963 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 5,127,696 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 18 November 2021, a total of 7,370,902,499 vaccine doses have been administered.
I have been keeping an unpublished version of this…. adding to it periodically…. but Today was the day I asked my Tall Child if I could blog this….. so lets catch up – I left off my pandemic timeline April 2020… Sure I have written SO MANY updates since then… mostly if not all local and personal… but lets look at this from a broader scope… Here is what has happened
I have collected most of this from the Yale Medicine site, who has tracked events and written articles and laid them out by date- which made it easier for me to pick and choose events to mention each month.
May: Experts focus on “flattening the curve,” After months in lockdown, states slowly begin a “phased reopening,” based on criteria outlined by a very angry temper tantrum throwing Trump in coordination with state, county, and local officials. Meanwhile, scientists across the globe are in a race to develop vaccines.
June: Efforts to reopen the economy leads to new cases, and the curve is not flattening. THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE!!! Experts point to the dangers of large gatherings and use terms like “clusters” and “super-spreader events.” all while Tucker Carlson and crowd started suggesting this actually was all fake and planned.
July: Officials debate the best scenarios for allowing children to safely return to school in the fall.
August: The first documented case of reinfection is reported in Hong Kong. On a broader scale, COVID-19 is now the third leading cause of death in the U.S. (after heart disease and cancer). Ironically here locally, this is when school started… given the choice of online or in person…. because you know…. we underpay our teachers… so lets rub salt in the wound. We kept our child home.
September: The school year opens with a mix of plans to keep children and teachers safe, ranging from in-person classes to remote schooling to hybrid models. Meanwhile, the WHO recommends steroids to treat severely and critically ill patients, but not to those with mild disease. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that people who had recently tested positive were about twice as likely to have reported dining at a restaurant than were those with negative test results.
October: President Trump tests positive for COVID-19 after a gathering in the White House Rose Garden where multiple people were also thought to have been infected. And though rumors swirled that he was WAY sicker than reported… he did the infamous balcony removal of his mask like a petulant toddler- Meanwhile, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) grants full approval to a drug called remdesivir for treatment of COVID-19.
November: Cases rise again as cold weather drives more people indoors—the U.S. begins to break records for daily cases/deaths. Many officials around the country bring plans for reopening to a halt. As the holidays approach, the CDC urges Americans to stay home, limit the size of their gatherings, and avoid mixing with people who don’t live in their household. I saw NO ONE outside of my home for this holiday.
December: The FDA grants Pfizer-BioNTech the first Emergency Use Authorization (EUA) for an mRNA vaccine, a new type of vaccine that has proven to be highly effective against COVID-19. A week later, it grants another EUA to Moderna, also for an mRNA vaccine. But, as vaccinations begin, major variants of the virus are beginning to circulate. The UK reports that a new variant of the virus, called B.1.1.7, could be more contagious. By the end of the month, B.1.1.7 is detected in the U.S. We had Christmas outside with the kids and grandkids… for about 45 minutes freezing cold.
2021
January: In the U.S., the number of cases and deaths begins to fall. But more variants are spreading, including one first identified in South Africa called B.1.351, which is reported in the U.S. by the end of the month. Around the world, the race is on to vaccinate as many people as possible in time to slow the spread of the variants. Researchers work to understand how deadly or contagious variants are compared to the original virus. Tucker Carlson and Q-anons? well= they decide this is poisonous or will change your DNA… sooooo…. OH BUT PAUSE FOR AN INSURECTION!! okay, carry on
February: There is not enough vaccine supply to meet the demand. But the Biden Administration expects the addition of a third option (by Johnson & Johnson) to make vaccines more available to everyone. Meanwhile, companies are working to tweak their products to make distribution easier and to control new variants. So, while there may be hope that the end is in sight for the pandemic, it’s highly probable that we will still be wearing masks for some time to come. We cross the 500,000 death count in the US.
March: According to a 120-page report from WHO, the novel coronavirus that causes Covid-19 probably spread to people through an animal, and probably started spreading among humans no more than a month or two before it was noticed in December of 2019. The report says a scenario where it spread via an intermediate animal host, possibly a wild animal captured and then raised on a farm, is “very likely.” Did you know this? No? Why do I know this?? Because I am SO TIRED of people saying it was made in Wuhan by Fauci. Tigers in the Zoos keep testing positive!
April: The global tally of deaths from Covid-19 surpasses 3 million, according to data compiled by Johns Hopkins.
May – July: According to figures published by the CDC, the more contagious Delta variant accounts for an estimated 93.4% of coronavirus circulating in the US during the last two weeks of July. The figures show a rapid increase over the past two months, up from around 3% in the two weeks ending May 22.
August – September: The FDA authorizes an additional Covid-19 vaccine dose for certain immunocompromised people. The US FDA grants full approval to the Pfizer/BioNTech Covid-19 vaccine for people age 16 and older, making it the first coronavirus vaccine approved by the FDA. US CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky diverges from the agency’s independent vaccine advisers to recommend boosters for a broader group of people — those ages 18 to 64 who are at increased risk of Covid-19 because of their workplaces or institutional settings — in addition to older adults, long-term care facility residents and some people with underlying health conditions. So I got mine!!!
October: Pfizer/BioNTech say they are seeking FDA emergency use authorization for their Covid-19 vaccine for children ages 5 to 11.
November 2, 2021 – Walensky says she is endorsing a recommendation to vaccinate children ages 5-11 against Covid-19, clearing the way for immediate vaccination of the youngest age group yet in the US.
I researched the average span of an apocalypse in dystopian novels… if it were zombies-100 days… Well… we are past that… so I guess those guys aren’t REALLY zombies…. the average length is 10-12 years. We are still at the beginning guys…
Globally, as of 7 September 2021, there have been 221,134,742 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 4,574,089 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 6 September 2021, a total of 5,352,927,296 vaccine doses have been administered.
I don’t know what to say about that… Ive been to the office a few times… but most days am still remote… due to the air quality and the hybrid schedule… I got my booster on the 27th of August
(because I am a tiny bit of cancer surviving autoimmune super hero) – so there is that. We are trying to be as safe as we know how… We have sent the smallest child back to school… high school in person even… she is vaccinated and masked (at least for as long as we see her) … The tinies are also in school again… and now I just find myself holding my breath… and waiting… waiting to see what more we can do….
I hold my newest youngest tiny close as he grows… born in this pandemic and thriving….
and I hold my breath and I wait some more… for anything to give… I am scared… so scared… I worry for those I love… for those I don’t… for all of us. 1 week from today I will reach the 48th anniversary of my entrance to this planet… I never thought I would live this long… to see all of this… I intend to see more. I watched the Afghanistan war begin… and 20 years later end… We will mark the 20th anniversary of 9-11 in four days…. all of those lives snuffed out…. yet we lose almost as many daily now…. I will march for Women on Oct 2nd (march might be symbolic as my legs do not really work well) …. DAMMIT I SURVIVED TRUMP!!! something has got to give…. anything….
and so I paint… and record as we near the 2nd year mark of this very long apocalypse
Globally, as of 20 July 2021, there have been 190,671,330 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 4,098,758 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 19 July 2021, a total of 3,436,534,998 vaccine doses have been administered.
That opening is how you know this is going to be a post about the pandemic… Today we worked in the office for the first time… you know the first several months of this pandemic I was so proactive in talking to people… staying connected… checking on those I knew were alone…. then I, like everyone else hit a point that I hunkered down… holed up… and just survived… usually with out a shower… or pants on…. So here we are… 16 months later…. and a third of the work force is in the office… and I find myself in the office… I don’t really wanna scare anyone… but I thought that was the end for me… I thought that if the virus didnt get me… cancer would… but here I sit this evening….. with my most recent biopsy result being benign… finding myself reflecting again…
First Observation – People forgot gum or breathmints exist…. they exist for a reason…. use them…
Second Observation – after the conversation is over… but you are still leaving the area…. I can still hear you… hiccup burp man.
Third Observation – Tylenol… get it… you are gonna need it… and not only have I taken it… but I have shared it with many… it is very different under florescent lighting again… hearing conversations from upstairs… down stairs… the hall way… the constant beeping of the elevator that I have never noticed before… and so forth.
Most important observation – I love humans… I really really do… back to back I saw two silver haired … long haired… stoic and strong woman… I dont believe they even know each other… but the combination of them both being here… both having survived after I have had to say goodbye to some others… well… I choked up… then cried in relief silently…. discovered that I was one of those woman…. because they both stopped by to see if I too had survived… I listened to survival methods…stories of loss… and so much more…. I am so incredibly grateful to be here for it.
I don’t know what is going to come next… I do know that what has come so far is more than anyone thought they could handle… yet here we are.
From the desk of a beautiful co-worker.Look! Im in an office!
Globally, as of 13 May 2021, there have been 160,074,267 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 3,325,260 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 12 May 2021, a total of 1,264,164,553 vaccine doses have been administered.
A day worth noting… I literally think that my miss b was most likely the first 12+ person to get vaccinated… she was being driven to get it as the Governor of our state announced its availability … That’s because I was refreshing the scheduling page like a woman who’s life depended on it… oh wait… I am a woman whos life depends on it.
I am SO PROUD of her…. so proud of us…. so grateful. One more shot to go for her… and we will be on our way to life outside again. I seriously cannot express how thankful I am to all the scientists… healthcare workers… teachers…. but today? this kid is my hero!!!
We have a lot going on in the house right now… but I will just leave this post as a pandemic record…. This house is clean.
Globally, as of 30 March 2021, there have been 127,349,248 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 2,787,593 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 29 March 2021, a total of 519,826,596 vaccine doses have been administered.
In the US? TOTAL CASES 30,085,827 TOTAL DEATHS 546,704 – People Vaccinated 52,614,231
In Utah? TOTAL CASES 384,756 TOTAL DEATHS 2,114 – People Vaccinated 478,918
You see where I am going with this… It is spring… Mr. Amazing and I are vaccinated… in fact as of Friday it will be 14 days from our second shot… This is the yellow light… But already people are done… Little Miss’s mom took her to the mall … I am even guilty of not waiting the full 14 days before going into a home …. inside it! I was able to see where my Small lives…. for the first time… he has lived there for over a year… IT WAS GLORIOUS… the weather has been cooperating… we have gathered outdoors… in masks… but all of us can feel the fear dissipating…
The conspiracy theories around the vaccine are wildly accepted as truths… even as testing for children under 16 begins… all of mine over 16 … My Tall… My Small… Mrs. Small… either have their shot scheduled or have been vaccinated. But the vaccines are only 90% effective and there are variants spreading like … well… a highly contagious deadly virus.
I began to notice more of the Anti-Maskers around town… This is the only place I have driven through in over a year… because well…. COFFEE!!!! Saturday morning it was packed… literally a half hour in line… worth it! But the woman ahead of me had her window down speaking loudly to someone either I cant see in the car… or on the phone… she isn’t wearing a mask… and she doesn’t need to in her car with someone from her home I suppose…. but she does not put one on when she gets to the window to order… and when requested too? Leans further into her car and says loudly “There is that 6 feet?” … I leave money for the “next two cars complying with the masking guidelines” to pay for their coffee… and proceed to hand sanitize after touching the card that was inserted in the card reader… Lysol wipe the card… Lysol wipe the shelf they are setting my coffee on for me to get… Lysol wipe the cup…. hand sanitize again… hope beyond hope that coffee is hot enough and kills any germs inside the cup… drive home… wash hands… remove mask… wash mask. I will continue to do this even though I am vaccinated… why?
How effective is the birth control pill?
If you use it perfectly, the pill is 99% effective. Do you know anyone that has gotten pregnant while on the pill? I have 4 tinys conceived while Tall child was taking the pill…. was it perfectly? I do not know… but her babies are perfect 🙂 and I would like to continue to watch them grow and witness their brilliance. I would like to meet Small child’s first child… and see his first birthday… and first day of school.
People are screaming that we quit living in fear. Cool I guess. I am not living in fear… I am living with caution…. cautions that I hope allow me to continue living. Look, I fully intend to go out this weekend… I am going to enter a store for the first time in over a year… I am going to do it much like I get my coffee… with an abundance of caution… not just for my safety… but for yours… I fully intend to see Miss Betty… and hug all the people… Id love to meet the babies born during the pandemic for the first time… because I have missed so much! I am going to to do as much and as fast as possible… because I watched a doctor from the CDC break script and choke back tears…. I listened to our President ask that people stop opening up so quickly… to keep the mask mandates in place… and I am having Deja Vu…. exactly one year ago I watched as people laughed and joked about this virus… I watched as people rushed stores in choreographed mobs without masks… knowing they couldn’t stop them all… and I watched the world get sick.
Please get whatever vaccine is available to you… as soon as it is available to you… please be kind.
Globally, as of 19 March 2021, there have been 121,209,510 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 2,680,469 deaths, reported to WHO.
But there is a light! As of 18 March 2021, a total of 364,184,603 vaccine doses have been administered.
a few thoughts this morning as I am rubbing my arm in hopes of avoiding any soreness… Science is amazing… healthcare workers are heroes… we are going to survive.
Hope was not cancelled… and neither was Fairy City… hope is a quiet rebellion. This last weekend inbetween vaccine doses… they emerged in all their love and colors! I am announcing to the world that Fairies get vaccines!!! thats right! Because we all need to get vaccinated. I am so relieved I got mine…. I hope to never attend another funeral this way…
It was lonely and heartbreaking and I have attended too many like this this year
That being said… I lost someone (hence the coffin and funeral)… but more than that… the world lost a giant! There is a massive gap in the fabric of our life… I palpably felt the balance scale of good vs bad tip this day…. and you know what? Ive got some big shoes to fill to tip it back… there is room for more in these shoes… come on!
I am sure this is not the end of the pandemic for us… quite yet… but I am also sure more than ever in my life… I want to live… I want to hope and dream and love….. love so much. I am also sure I will have much more to say about this experience…. but I wanted to leave these immediate thoughts…. and now… the countdown to my grandkids begins!
Globally, as of 26 February 2021, there have been 112,649,371 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 2,501,229 deaths, reported to WHO
This morning at 7:40 am I pulled into a movie theater parking lot 50 miles from my house… I couldn’t eat dinner last night… and had only sipped at half of my coffee…. hardly slept at all. Having no idea what to expect or what to do I waited a moment until I saw others slowly entering the building.
Pause for a moment to realize this would be the first building other than my doctors or dentist I will have entered since last March.
I got out of the car and a just as apprehensive Mr. Amazing did as well…
WE WERE IN A MOVIE THEATER!!!! it felt surreal… There was no smell of popcorn… no movies playing… There were about a dozen people inside waiting … either waiting to get vaccinated… or waiting to help us get vaccinated. We checked in and sat… six feet apart… in masks… we watched as the courier brought in the cooler full of doses for us… again… I cannot describe how bizarre this scene is to take in… and then they call my name… and take me into one room… everything roped off and arrows guiding… I stand where they tell me to… and sit when they tell me to… and then it happened.
The nurse giving me the injection begins to tell me what to expect and then she looks at my card… and says… Lupus! I guess you really just don’t know what to expect next. Truer words have not been spoken. I am then escorted to another theater room…. where I am reunited with Mr. Amazing (who also was able to get his shot while there with me) to be monitored for a time. The seats are numbered for spacing and sanitation purposes…. there are huge medical tents in front of the dark screen… and I can only help but hope beyond hope that soon… I will be here again… when it smells of popcorn and goodness… and there will be a movie playing.
After some time… we were told we could go… and we did! holding our cards like they were golden tickets from willy wonka himself.
You guys… I think we are going to make it… and I am so grateful!
