Articles

Well… I was a skeptic…

That's my mouth... filled with Coconut Oil.... Its happening as I type

That’s my mouth… filled with Coconut Oil….  as I type

 Something new you’re loving mama katsWe have all read the posts about it… and if you are like me you read the snopes and hoax pages about it too…. it’s been posted about everywhere and by everyone I know… I ordered an organic unrefined coconut oil tub off of amazon… and tossed a big hunk (about a tablespoon) of what looked like crisco into my mouth… at first I gagged a little… The taste didn’t bother me at all… but the texture was well… slimy… But I swished it in my mouth for 20 minutes… and figured I would give it a week… By the 5th day I knew…  I caught myself looking at the clock… I have made it part of my bed time routine… and I found myself looking forward to it… on the 7th day I called Mr. Amazing over to have a look at my teeth… which is something I have hated my entire life… I was a smoker (I QUIT!) and have a full time chewing gum habit… as well as horrible oral hygiene… Its true… and a fear of dentists… My Teeth were white! Not just a little whiter… “Markedly Brighter” Mr Amazing said… I loved how they felt… my breath in the mornings doesn’t melt paint either… just sayin… Soon (during the second week) I noticed my gums didn’t bleed anymore when I brushed them in the morning… (I totally still brush) my skin looked better (I can only assume that I am ingesting some even though I don’t swallow it) my lips were soft.

and I smiled

brightly

in pictures.

That is something new… that I LOVE!

Sorry So Short! Time to Spit!!

2014-03-17 21.18.18

Fat Tuesday on Funday Friday :)

Technically this is just a bunch of Gibberish… but it makes me laugh… really there are even two morals to this story…. Bread and Butter Pickles are Nasty…. and Mr Amazing swears a lot when lacking sleep.

Mr. Amazing:  today is dragging so bad that the day itself is literally sad

me:  Its so sad its comfort eating… that is why its Fat Tuesday

Mr. Amazing:  Fat Tuesday is literally a giant horrible sad monster baby crying for it’s mama

me:  and its mama is a doughnut!

Mr. Amazing: literally

me:  I want one

Mr. Amazing:  I literally went out on a limb with that one

me:  Bahahaha

Mr. Amazing: irregardless of the mama doughnut

me:  We should get doughnuts

Mr. Amazing: LOL I am figuratively a horrible person

me:  You are full of all the words

Mr. Amazing:  irregardless literally bothers me to death

me:  Your words make me wanna throat punch you

Mr. Amazing:  so does “aint’ got none”

me:  OH OH! how about “Aint nobody gots time fo dat!”

Mr. Amazing: one doughnut and a side of pithy sarcasm

me:  instead- I am feeding you a hot dog for dinner… and your gonna like it

Mr. Amazing:  use gonna like it

me:  With chips on the side- I am literally not cooking shit

Mr. Amazing:good, because I really, really, really want to avoid you literally cooking shit

me:  BAHAHAHA

Mr. Amazing:  in fact, compared to literal shit, hot dogs seem pretty okay

me:  Thats why I present it that, we helps with expectations

Mr. Amazing: Yes, thanks for lower my expectations to a reasonable (if not menial) level

me:  I have hotdog buns… its a gourmet meal

Mr. Amazing: Oh yeah!

me:  I dont even wanna eat the hot dogs

Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO Hows about with pickles and sauerkraut

me:  Maybe with Sauerkraut but… even then im not so sure… maybe smothered in Nacho Cheese

Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO that sounds nasty

me:  I like cheese (Stating the obvious is my super power)

Mr. Amazing: General Obvious?

me:  Ahem… Captain….Obviously

Mr. Amazing:  Fine… Captain Obvious I got paid!

me:  OH! (We still have to eat the hotdogs, or the buns will go stale)

Mr. Amazing:  Okay But we can have dessert…. <evil laughter>

me:  LOL! Actually- If you send me money… I might really go buy Saurkraut

Mr. Amazing:  OMG – Day… Fucking END

me:  14 minutes

Mr. Amazing: Seriously, I am about to BITCH slap FAT Tuesday

me:  ROTFLMAO!!! I CANNOT believe you just said that

Mr. Amazing:  I am laughing at my desk like an idiot

me:  Ditto

Mr. Amazing: Kerry… I can’t stop

me:  Do you want chili for your hot dogs? You need sleep

Mr. Amazing:  I want mustard

me:  we have mustard

Mr. Amazing: and pickles

me:  Uhhhh Im not sure where we are the pickle front

Mr. Amazing: cuz I think the we have the… “It’s a TRAP!!!”

pickles in the fridge the bread and butter tastes like shit evil pickles of doom

Fuck you Bread n’ Butter pickles… Fuck you….

 me:  ROTFLMAO! Gimme your monies! I will buy you pickles… and destroy the enemy ones

Slurpees on Saturday.

Me: Saturday is all good to go still. If <insert adorable niece anonymity here> falls off the bed, imma punch her in da face… I am ready for a night with no kiddos I think…

Mr. Amazing:  OMG I know, Lots of kids. Thanks for asking, I appreciate it, It will be nice to have a night with just the two of us, That way I can upset you without the smalls mocking me

 

me:  Bahahaha!!! Sounds like a romantic evening

 

Mr. Amazing:  Well, we all know the universal constant, I will do something stupid

 

me:  No uh, you do not…Quit that…You are amazing and I miss having slurpees with you

 

Mr. Amazing:  lol we have a night scheduled for it now

 

me:  ROTFL!

 

Mr. Amazing: Let me just pencil that in

 

me:  BAHAHAH! I was just trying to make you blush!

 

Mr. Amazing:  There, I put it on the calendar

 

me:  You behave

 

Mr. Amazing:   Slurpees with wife between 10 PM and 8 AM

 

me:  That long?

 

Mr. Amazing:  Just covering my bases

 

me:  BAHAHAH! okay okay, stop

 

Mr. Amazing:   I wouldn’t want something to get scheduled on top of that

 

me:  Oh comeon! just once let me shock you!

 

Mr. Amazing:  I am shocked

 

me:  bratface

Mr. Amazing:  seriously though it’s scheduled I set a 1 hour reminder  It’s a new moon on the 1st That’s also on my calendar

 

me:  ROTFLMAO!

 

Mr. Amazing:   it just says “Slurpees with Wife”

 

me:  ROTFLMAO! You know whats gonna happen now dontcha?

 

Mr. Amazing:   We won’t be able to I’m taking it off of my calendar just in case no offense

 

me:  ROTFL!!! Im Blogging this!

Mr. Amazing:  No you are not

me:  Ummmm Still blogging it

 

Mr. Amazing  nope I don’t need my mother to know what my slurpee schedule is, Oh Jeebus don’t blog it

I am going to create a blog called”Don’t Blog It!”

me:  What if I swap out the word sex for slurpees!!!

images

Frozen: Letting Go

I know.. .I know! Believe me I know that I shouldn’t waste my time getting drawn into this… I know that it is energy spent on something that shouldn’t be given… I read it yesterday… much like everyone else I would assume… and at first I laughed… Then my irritation grew… and as the day wore on I just couldn’t shake it… the words had settled in my skin… and my least favorite feeling in this myriad of emotions I go through is shame… I was ashamed of my friend who shared it on Facebook voicing her agreement (this is how I came across it to begin with, before it was ever picked up by the local media) … I was embarrassed to be living in Utah… where not only is this popular opinion but it was picked up by the media… Every fiber was annoyed… by the name of the blog… and every hateful word typed out… I am not going to counter her opinions… I just figured I would do a little review and opinionating of my own…. you know… from a well behaved person that has not lost her ever loving mind to hate and paranoia.

Frozen: Letting Go

Let me paraphrase… The movie opens with these two adorable sisters… laughing and playing in the snow and ice created by the eldest Elsa … Surely this is dark magic right? Sorcery? Witchcraft? don’t you worry… its a Disney Movie… and its JUST A STORY…  I saw it five times… Its full of dark magic and sorcery… and death… and treason… trolls who adopt the poor guy with apparently poor personal hygiene  being raised by a reindeer… but the poor guy with the Swedish accent it surely the problem… Oh that and the fact that the girl… who DOESN’T FEEL THE COLD takes of her repressive cape that she had to wear for a coronation is being considered to sex it up… hey hey… who am I to judge… I’m sure the people taking issue with this also wear these swim suits… and I’m cool with that…

else-and-anna

My favorite part of the movie is the Let it Go sequence… as I am sure anyone with a 7 year old knows… it is catchy… and dramatic… and the graphics are beautiful… and everyone is covering it!! (See my Themesong Thursday Post)

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the Queen.

Queen of isolation… I get that… Trapped by expectations

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried

Storm inside… raging emotions… Okay, I don’t have snow flakes sprinkling from my fingertips… but I am relating to this chic.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know

Ahhh sweet sweet emancipation… from worrying about what others think of me… from judgement… and cruel words.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door

I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Freedom from fear… self confidence… self discovery… Fantastic!

Let it go, let it go

Let go of the negative… hey smallest child… I hope you memorize each and every word of it!

I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry

Ha ha! okay okay… crying is okay… even if people see it… but not “You” not the people that I am letting go of… not the people that wanted me to be someone I am not

Sing sing sing… lots more words… storm rages on… etc

You get the idea… I take absolutely no offense to someone shedding what was forced upon them and coming to their own opinions, aspirations, dreams and I will cheer on my children whether it is at their graduation from college… or a pole dancing competition (please please let it not be pole dancing… so awkward)

——————————————————————————-

and so… in conclusion… if you have to take some moral to what is really just an awesome story with fantastic music and stunning visuals… take this… Love is unconditional… Sisters before Misters…. also… reindeer raise gentlemen… Braids are sexy and trolls are love experts…. That is all

SO someone needs to explain to me how she gets from cryokinetic power to same-sex attraction?

tumblr_myjvz4yLR71sqyhgqo1_r1_250

OH! and someone better tell their kids… whether oaken likes men or not (which I don’t understand why that is relevant when he is just selling some damn carrots) that a Swedish accent isn’t required for someone to be gay… they can choose that for themselves… and they will be accepted and loved and keep their voice 🙂

Frozen-oaken

… Sweet Escape

mama katsWrite a blog post inspired by the word: Vacation

The snow is melting… patches of dirty… blackened snow still hides in the corners of the yard… but the muddy trampled looking grass is underneath… I am sure we will get layered again… but the majority of it is gone. The air is a little clearer… the sky a little bluer… the temperature a little warmer… we have been trapped inside… watching entirely too much TV… I start thinking about swimming pools… walks around the lake… and weekends at the big lake! These things are coming! I feel like everything gets a little lighter in my world.

But where I truly want to be is the Ocean… even more specific … Morro Bay… With the waves crashing against Morro rock… It is my favorite place in the entire world… and I have been to many corners of the world… Paris… Lisbon… Moscow… Maui…. all of these are not as appealing to me right this moment as a day in Morro Bay…

I would start the day with a latte from the small coffee/ice cream parlor on atascadero street… then park on the beach side of the rock… I would let the smalls run until they couldn’t run anymore… watching for Jelly fish that are sometimes spawning on the sand… searching out shells… and I would just sit… there at the curve created by the sandbar and the giant rock…. and watch the sun light the water that rolls lazily onto the sand… I would rent a kite from the kite shop directly across the street behind me… if the wind is strong… and fly that monstrous thing as high as it can go…. I would take the kids to see the junk house… the aquarium… Mr amazing and the smalls could play a game on the life-sized chess board… and we could stop at the shell shop… to buy little creatures made out of shells for our friends back home… I would visit my grandparents memorial… I miss them so much sometimes… everyday… My Grandfather would be so proud of Small Child and the man he is becoming… he would have adored Mr. Amazing…. My Grandmother would love smallest child… and all of her energy. We would walk through the Eucalyptus Trees… we would head to Los Osos for the most amazing clam chowder and walk the entire pier….

We would eat sauerkraut at Hauffbras… We would shop… in all those touristy t-shirt shops… and trinket shops… we would visit the sea lions… hundreds of them in a protected cove that can be seen from the highway above…. We would see Hearst castle up there on the hill… but skip the tour… because it is gaudy and boring.

We would end our day back on the beach… exhausted surely by this point… and dip our toes in the cold water… perhaps if we are lucky we would see the otters… they hold hands when they sleep so they don’t lose each other…. We should all hold hands more…

Imagine if we had a second day… We would head to San Luis Opisbo… and Moon Stone Beach…. with a third day… the vineyards and wines in Paso Robles… But those I will save for another blog…

One day… I will get there.

discover-a-new-rock-star

Sea-otter-morro-bay_on-back

download

5470135498_b2511a4c88_z

Avila-Beach-Pier

The Shell Shop, Morro Bay

images (1)

images

Once

Upon a freaking dream!!!! LOVE this song… LOVE this remake… Cant wait for the movie!!

 

Don’t make me pee on him…. really.

mama kats Write a post inspired by the word: punched.

There are several stories sparked by this… more than I care to admit…

I mean… really… who haven’t I punched… Let’s not answer that… and go with one of the more recent ones… fresh in my mind because Mr. Amazing, his sister, and mother were laughing and retelling it just yesterday…

Picture if you will: Christmas Eve… Family party at my In-Laws… My own little blended family issues are nothing when compared to Mr. Amazings much larger and hostile blended family… The only time I often see his step siblings are at this yearly party… We do not really remember each other from year to year… In fact… Last year they introduced me to one sibling (who? I don’t remember) and they exclaimed “He got married??” … Close? Not so much… still closer than my own family… so it take some getting used too.

So all those step siblings have children, I am not really sure who belongs to who, and I try to put faces to the names of the horror stories that are whispered among others… But really… there are just a lot of kids… I LOVE kids… so I am enjoying myself… when I see a pre-teenish boy rough housing with Mr. Amazing… I love this… Because even though there are some issues among the grown up children, it is so fun to see family interact that normally doesn’t… As I wander over to join my cute husband… I see this kid slug him… right in the gut… and ..

You guys! I didn’t even think about… There wasn’t ever a conscious decision behind it… I punched the kid back.

“Oooof!” Child clutches stomach

“Don’t hit MY husband!” Hands on hips… I may as well have lifted a leg and peed on him

“We were just playing?” baffled Mr. Amazing

<Shrug> “No One hits my husband”

The kid was fine… I gave him my candy bar from the left right right left oh my god right left  this is the longest game ever game.

…. I am sure I will never live it down…. Just like the one time Small Child informed me no one will spar with him in Karate if I am there in the bleachers… Oh but that is another story…

2014-01-20 14.03.37