Articles

Nov 01 2017

Life. Its continues.

Author: Kerry

Its been over two months since Ive posted. Believe it or not, Things have been relatively good. Im working full time again, and that has not only halted my painting, but it has made me want to write again. So I finished my Novella and submitted it to a writers group for feedback. Look at me just continuing to act like I’m a writer. Like I believe in myself and have dreams. I also did something Id never done before while gone- I took a vacation. With a friend. Like not a child. Although I would have liked it to be Mr Amazing. He needed to be home with the smalls. work and stuff. So off to San Diego we went. It was amazing. I like the new job enough. I like that it is just a job. Not an all consuming hurricane of ambitions. I miss freedom. I miss taking care of everything at home so no one else had to worry about it. But I do not miss the self loathing that came with unemployment. Perhaps I will even earn a pension finally. 44 years old and finally thinking about my future. Its kind of nice. Mr Amazings small is with us full time now and I am enjoying that more than I can say. My Small, dropped on class, but kept the other and has so far survived his practice semester at college. WOOT!

I miss painting, and find my little bits of down time that I do have being spent on the couch under a pint of ice cream… but that may be due to the weather more than the new job. Knees. Again. I am still working out a couple of times a week and having my beautiful friend from the library come use the shower at the gym. I love her. Life. It continues. Today I find myself in the same offices writing this as I did about 5 years ago with my small. But today I am with Mr. Amazings small. I am hoping beyond hope that it gives her the support system she needs to succeed in all things. Tall child and the tinies are absolutely perfect in every way. Im sure she would disagree. That she struggles. But to me. They are the epitome of perfection and I love them… hard.

I intended to write more… but here are a few pictures instead. It will be several weeks before I get feedback on the novella. Im not nervous. I know it is my story. I know it is to be told. I just haven’t found its outlet yet. I had 50,000 words written before I edited it down to 20,000 and I am only half way through. I found a novella submission and sent it there. even though it is only half told. Because I could. LOL Fear Not my dears.

May 26 2016

Maybe… This is how its supposed to be…

Author: Kerry

Its been AGES since Ive done a theme song Thursday…. but this song reminds me of my life right now… so this lil post would be best enjoyed by hitting play on this song before moving on…

I decided I was not done adventuring in my life and it was time to renew my passport…. this is my message to the universe… that I will find a good way to need it…. preferably Italy.

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The end of the school year has been the normal Hell… I think they do this so you are just so grateful that its over that you dont mind if your kids eat cereal for lunch and watch TV all day… (Seriously) … 4th grade Pageants … and Final Symphony Orchestra performances … I couldnt be prouder of either of them….

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These two Monkeys (really there are 3 monkeys… but the 3rd one cant walk yet) are my Sunday morning dates… The taller one there … gave me a firm talking too about six months ago… about how he needed me more… about how we needed to go on adventures… (His exact words for adventure were “Go fun places, and Jump alot” LOL) and he was right… things have been a little strained between tallest child and I (she is now about to birth her fourth child in four years) and it was stupid… We now having a standing date each week… where we adventure (the latest being the pool … which they loved)…. He said to me on his way home this week “Sunday is my favorite day…. because that is when I get you) and we count another 7 days until we get to adventure again! I love them so much…

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Something else Magical is happening on our Sunday Mornings Adventures… For as bright and well spoken that tall one is… the shorter one is loving and sensitive…. He and Small child have a bit of a special routine at the end of our adventures… I could not be anymore surprised by their tenderness… or moved by it.

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Obviously by the lack of posts you can assume I am still painting… because I am… still fairying…

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We found this old tree stump along a busy road… It is by a Nursing home path… as well as a bus stop…

We call it fairy city 🙂

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and last but not least… a commissioned piece that is a bit more dark… bahahahaha! Someones Boyfriends Brother is a fanatic apparently.

This is the progress I have made on the set… it is definitely a work in progress… lots of shading still to do… but so much fun to paint.

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Oh… and I work as well (not a lot though) but that is going swimmingly… and I am somewhat keeping my household running smoothly… I am looking forward to things slowing down a bit more… I have now lost a little over 50 lbs… and I have been doing this small (I MEAN SMALL) fitness challenge everyday… baby steps people… I am taking them

Jan 12 2016

I’ve never even had a rose ceremony!?!?!

Author: Kerry

mama kats Welcome to the most shocking rose ceremony in writing prompt history.

Please award roses to the ten people (or items) in your life that you’d like to continue pursuing a relationship with.

In no particular order and without further ado…

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1 – I could fill half of this list with just those who reside in my home… But I am feeling the need to dig deep and really take a personal inventory of that which I am grateful for in my life… That being said… Those in my home deserve mention… Mr Amazing is the love of my life… He is my best friend… and I love him so hard. Small Child (not so small) continues to amaze me daily with his bright charismatic self…. He is the greatest thing that has ever happened to my life… and I can not express the gratitude I have for him… I admire him so much. Smallest Child (Ms SassyPants) is the latest breath of fresh air into my existence… we have really stepped up our StepParent/StepChild game… and I have loved every minute of it… She is so clever… and I am honored to be part of her upbringing…. So that is a Rose for my little Family. (With an honorable mention for Tall Child and her three Tinies!)

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2- Betty Perea – This woman has brought more joy to my life than I can express… She has given more wisdom…invited palpable spirit…  inspired more crazy… and driven more motivation than I can explain… I love her… She teaches humility and gratitude without even saying a word… She is wild and funny… you never know what she is going to say next… She thrives off of keeping people on their toes and she has been the greatest mother like friend I have ever known… She brings a different perspective to the table… and I love her mysticism, skepticism, and superstitions. She gave me my love of coffee and mexican food.   A Rose to my old soul (With an honorable mention to her children, who I love beyond measure)

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3- Tolman – I have known this chicka forever! She is my Cookie Wife.. My Soul Sister… My Co Parent (for her smalls and mine :))… She goes on all my crazy adventures with me… She wore the Bloggess’s Red Dress with me… We’ve been through marriages and divorces with each other… we have laughed as well as cried the hardest in our lives in front of each other… we are linked by a special energy that is thicker than blood… She is the cheese in my enchilada 🙂 A rose for her… with all the thorns cut off… because just once something beautiful should come to her without the trials. (I would make it rain roses on her beautiful babies who I treat like my own)

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4 – The Fluffinator! My Stef! My favorite heavy metal loving animal enthusiast teenage rearing sexy beast on the planet… She is my escape… She is my safe place… she is my cohort on adventures that we are way too old to take… She is down to earth… a fantastic mother… she is beautiful… has a passion for purple and a strength like no one else I have ever met. She is so intelligent and she has the biggest heart! She is always up to something fun and most nights seem to end with fireworks and alcohol when we are together.  Raising our two boys together has been amazing… we call each other for advice… to vent… and to discuss anything supernatural. I do not know how I lucked into her entering my life but I am grateful for it every day…. Small Child (not so small) will always think of her as his other mother… She is my back up mom… and I miss her! Roses all around… (honorable mention to her crazy kiddos who I freaking love like crazy)

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5 – Michelle – She is actually my cousin.. I mean that is how we met… but she became my friend in our adult lives… She has more integrity and acceptance in her little finger than I could ever hope to achieve… She is funny… She is talented… She is a great mom.. and has always always been there for me… no matter what I have needed. She is so kind… and when someone starts gossiping or being negative she is the first one to shut it down. She is always willing to try new things and lets me just be me. Our kids have trick or treated together every year for as long as I can remember… Eventually we are going to have to find someone else to steal candy from! –  A Rose

 

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6 – Danielle – There is a story behind Danielle.. She is a close friend of mine’s daughter… a few years ago… We lost her mother… It was heartbreaking. From this came something wondrous and miraculous into my life however… This stunningly brilliant young woman… she is amazing… my children worship the ground she walks upon… and we would gladly just keep her forever… She has this awesome throaty laugh that reminds my of her beautiful mothers laugh… and I cannot imagine our lives without her in it… She is the s’more master… the butt toucher… the ceiling walker… and the best kind of big sister  figure on the planet for my smalls… She will always always have a home to come too and a family who loves her…. (honorable mention to her brother who I love and have great hopes for)-A Rose.

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7- Enough with all the estrogen! Lets give some Testosterone some attention – My Christian! This guy has been my friend for 18 years now… I have watched him grow up… and he has watched me mature (see how delicately I handled the age difference?) He is my hot cuban mess… and he is the greatest thing since sliced bread… I love him so much… he is so well spoken.. he passion for history is contagious… his love for family is admirable… I have told him things I could never tell another soul on the planet and knew he would tell me how stupid I was when I needed him to… he would also tell me how loved I was when I needed him to… I love to discuss philosophy and politics with him… and I love that no matter how much time passes… when we hit rock bottom… repeatedly… respectively… we will always have a friend within each other to lean on and shoulder to cry on. I am a better person because of him. – A Rose

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8- This Guy… If you know me… you know why – Zip the Wonder Dog – A Rose to you my buddy… you did it! I remember pleading with you when you were hit by the car to just live long enough to get him through the divorce… then again when he lost his dad … to stick around long enough to get him by… he couldn’t lose so much at once.. but you just keep ticking… Please… just get him through High School… You are the most constant thing in his life and we love you. (Honorable mention to the cat…  Shadow Cat… I remember the day I brought you home to my very scared and sad little family… you were enough of a distraction to get through the first days of some very hard realities… and for that I am grateful… You tolerate us.)

 

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9 – Now,.. The Prompt did mention items… and I cannot forget this little beauty I am typing this away on…My cute little purple coated macbook air. I am sorry I neglect you… I am sorry I never update you… I let your battery die… you collect dust. You are the tool of my creativity and I have slept snuggled up to you more often that I care to admit…. A Rose.

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10 – Myself… I am taking the easy way out… I have the most amazing list of people I should have included… I have nieces and nephews who I adore… such an awesome list quirky  life long friends… Family… But the truth is there was a time in my life I didn’t have any of you… and Depression worked rather determinedly to keep it that way… But this awesome woman never gave up… she never forgot that depression was lying to her… she worked her ass off… as a parent.. as an employee… as an artist… as an individual with a different way of seeing and doing things… and I would very much like to apologize to her for the abuse she has endured at my own hand… from my own stupid decisions.. and I would like to thank her for hanging in there… despite it all … and being such a bad ass. I’m funny… Smart… and my cleverness is overflowing. I kinda like me. Thanks to everyone who loved me enough for both of us on the days I cant love myself. – A Rose

Kerry

Oct 27 2014

Oh Hell No…

Author: Kerry

“The house was haunted. Well, at least it was haunted while I was there. As soon as I left, the house cleared up.
” – Jarod Kintz, Sleepwalking is restercise

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I remember when I was 15… a group of us kids took some canned food for donations and entry into the haunted house just a few days before Halloween… I was so excited… I loved Halloween.. I loved scary movies… I loved being out late at night with my friends… and then I heard the chainsaw roar… and we walked through the doors …

I am behind my friend and have strong-armed him into position directly in front of me… Like a shield… someone you never see walks around the room… occasionally pausing to stroke your face or jab at your neck with a hand in strangle formation or the point of something sharp… You never see any of this coming. It just happens. In the dark.

Chain saws… screams… CLOWNS… it is 45 minutes of hell… most of which my eyes are closed… I can now feel my friends skin through the t shirt that I have shredded while clinging to it… Later… he shows me actual claw marks left on his back… as he informs me I was the scariest part of the whole experience for him.

Never ever again did I go to a haunted house… I ride through spook rides at amusement parks with my eyes closed and act like I enjoy the whole thing… This past Friday Small Child asked to go with some friends to the SAME HAUNTED HOUSE (I could not make this up) I agree to let him go… I even offer to drive them… I drop them off at the gate warning them to be careful… and I move to the furthest location of the parking lot and I wait… allowing them to believe I have left.

THERE IS NO WAY I AM LEAVING MY BABY THERE!

after sitting there in the dark 10 minutes or so… I hear the scraping of feet draggin through the gravel of the lot… It is pitch black… I start looking frantically around me… I see several figures moving through the parking lot… in rags… and walking with a dead limb or a dislocated looking shoulder… SHIT!… I text Mr. Amazing…. he is soooooo sorry… BAM! on my back window… and swamp voodoo mans face is pressed up against the glass… I scream … pee a little (okay not really… but if my bladder had had ANYTHING in it… would’ve happened)

and flipped the stupid kid off

OH HELL NO!

I crack my window and inform the monsters that I am waiting for some teens that are inside… and they can move on to the next victim… and spend the next hour checking all my mirrors like a wild woman.

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Small child loved it.

Next year he can drive his own damn self!

Shout out for this walk down memory lane… and the nightmares are dedicated to the greatest writers workshop in the world!

mama kats Something that scared you when you were young…are you still afraid?

Oct 30 2013

Reality is tenuous

Author: Kerry

Hey there… This is something I have not done here before… but something I have often done… I just thought it may be fun… I took the prompt and poof! A short story is born. (and yes… I know… I love my ellipses)

“When the sun sets on All Hallow’s Eve, blanketing the landscape in darkness, it is said the line between the living and the dead, the fantasy and the reality is tenuous.”

(A Halloween Prompt from Write at the Merge)

At Last! Darkness gasps as if for air as the last trace of light is diminished… Her vision is clouded by this dusky twilight time… but she is awake… and hungry… she creeps out to stretch her shadows that have been cramped into the darkest of corners and behind drawn blinds for what seems like an eternity… devouring the color from the landscape… until that need is satiated… and everything is now the color of midnight… This is the night!

They enter the scene as if in surround sound… The snap of a branch … the rustle of leaves… the whispers so hushed that you cannot make out their message… a giggle escapes the small ones … a guttural groan from the old ones… and they join with Darkness like long lost lovers… siblings reunited… a child nestled in its mothers arms. This is the night!

Movement so fast it causes wind so much joy that it howls … and much like a toddler with energy exploding from what seems uncontrolled limbs… shudders are slammed shut like a knocking of unwanted visitors … trees sway in rhythm their bone like branches screeching windows within their reach. This is the night!

Darkness trusts few, but she beckons to Mischief and Mayhem  and they chase from the streets the beings of light… this is not their time… not the place… this time belongs to darkness… and she hopes that on this most powerful night she will finally be able to keep from being chased back into the shadows… to keep light tucked away… trapped in bulbs.. and flames… peeking out from under doors… and through the windows.

You fear the unknown… but the unknown is but a child of darkness… it does not want to play with chaos and murder… but chaos and murder seem to be the only ones willing… and so it goes.

Stay inside… check your children… lock your doors they whisper to the superstitious minds with glee… what fun this is… to laugh and play…

And just like that. And all too soon Light gasps as if for breath as it makes its way over the distant horizon. It brings with it an army of colors that wash over the scene. Not this time darkness. Not this year. Perhaps the next All Hallows Eve will bring your freedom.

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