Nov 06 2013

Well… That didn’t go exactly as planned.

Author: Kerry

mama kats

Something you were wrong about.

I am a budget-er… I know… I know… with all the frivolity that carries on in my life this may be hard to believe… but it is true never the less.

I pay my bills on a schedule from which I never deviate.. and I put away what I can when I can… Recently I paid off a debt… and suddenly this freed up a little bit of money… breathing room… barely… and my plan was to put it away and save it for a rainy day.. which is a luxury I have never had in my adult life… not once… and it was going so well… So well… I was able to finally take a family vacation… somewhere a little further away than a 2 day over the weekend trip up to the lake… and we rejoiced.. and the children were happy… Then as the time has continued without paying this debt… I tucked enough away again to consider finally purchasing a new bed… which is something we definitely want…  we began discussing shopping for one to see what we would want… and the parents were happy … and we rejoiced… because we are good… we do not go into debt and finance things … we pay our bills and we buy things we can afford… responsible adults we are.

… this last weekend we decided to go out to eat… the restaurant we chose happen to be in the same shopping location as the Apple Store… you already know what I am going to type here don’t you… you can feel the guilt seeping from my finger tips and into the keyboard of my brand new MacBook Air…. guilt is swirling around the words on my beautifully clear retina screen… as I sit with this 2.38 lb piece of heaven in my lap… on my too small… too lumpy bed… with it’s 12 hours of battery life… I have that A-Ha moment…

I thought I was a responsible selfless adult… I was wrong… I’m a semi-responsible MacBook owning chic who finally bought something for herself… and I was happy… and I am rejoicing… ooohhh its so shiny!!

Mac

Hey Apple – If you happen to find this…and want to reward your #1 fan… we could totally use a new bed.

Shiny!

Nov 04 2013

The Frost and the Princess – Short Story

Author: Kerry

WatMButtonTake2wText-300x300 Prompt : “The third day comes a frost, a killing frost.” – William Shakespeare ( response can be fiction or creative non-fiction, and there’s a word limit of 500 words.)

 

“The third day comes a frost, a killing frost” Tatti muttered Shakespeare’s prose as she cupped her hands and blew her hot breath into them… it was like holding a bit of fog for a moment as it was so chilly she could see her own breath within those hands… November Third… how ironic… and yet even she had to admit the crisp air had a feeling of change to it…  Tatti could use a change more than most… and feeling slight optimistic she un-buried herself from the newspapers she was using as a blanket, when the sun was high around noon the frost that covered them would make them soggy and useless for warmth…it was okay… She never had trouble finding enough of those… and they could only do some much to warm her anyways… Food… now that was a different story… She could never seem to find enough of that… She was always just barely staying ahead of that painful nagging bitch hunger… it could be worse… stay ahead of it she had so far… Tatti… short for Tattiana means Princess in Russian or so she had been told by anyone whom had ever heard her name… “princess my ass” she huffed as she stepped out of the hidden alley between buildings…  as she pulled the ice from her hair that had frozen after the rain had dampened her locks… dread locks… long and dirty blond… really nothing much more than a rats nest clear down to the small of her back… She had as many piercings as she did locks… there wasn’t much left she hadn’t shoved a steel post through… shuffling towards the grey hound station she scuffed her shoes all the way too… not really picking up her feet… or her head to meet the eyes of anyone she passed… as she neared the bus station/youth safe place… she began taking count of the people she saw with in… the teens that had woken up to this painful bitter cold… and her winter count began… she counted the heads of those she recognized… took inventory of who was on the streets these days… killing frost may seem a descriptive word to some… but to Tatti… and the others inside the shelter… they were very literal words… odds were that not all of them would make it through this season… just as seasons past. Aluminum boxes affixed to the ceiling with coils of red heat resembling a snake greeted her as she pushed the door open… The heat burned her numbed nose and cheeks uncomfortably as she defrosted… She found a bench in the corner and sat… trying to blend into the wall really… to be invisible was her goal. Attention was not something she had any use for… promises and good intentions did very little to change her life for more than a meal or two… and she knew the only thing she could count on today was the fact winter was coming… and she was alive.

Frost

Nov 01 2013

Right in the parts!

Author: Kerry

Mr. Amazing: I don’t get paid for a while Kerry
and I think it’s important that you know that I want a keyboard
me: ROTFL!
Mr. Amazing: It makes me sad inside
me: Im sorry you are sad inside.
Mr. Amazing: in my sad because I can’t have a toy part of my body
me: I have learned one thing with you… When you get the toy… you just get sad over the next thing you want
Mr. Amazing: LOL… I really wish that I could deny that
me: But you cant
Mr. Amazing: I could be disingenuous and say that it’s all lies…and that toy “x” would make me whole my favorite toys are my nixie clock and that lamp sitting in a box
me: I remember… your life long dream… and the passion you had for getting it… you had wanted it your whole life…
Mr. Amazing: just thought you should know
me:  and now its buried in junk on your dresser
Mr. Amazing:it makes me sad in the “I want my clock to be pretty” part of my body
me: “Look at these tubes kerry… they were made in the cold war”
Mr. Amazing: They were… Just sayin’ and in the early part of the cold war not the Reagan Gorbachev shaking hands pretty phase of the relationship
me: ROTFLMAO!
Mr. Amazing: Your laughter hurts me in the “you don’t like my petty toys” part of my body
me: Its a good thing you have all these parts…. do you have the Oh god she is rolling her eyes at me and its killing me part too? because that happened
Mr. Amazing: yeah… I felt a twinge that was a lot like that a few seconds ago … it was either that or gas… but I am pretty sure it was that
and it was painful
and I could feel a tear swelling in the corner of my eye
and then a co-worker was about to walk by, so I forced the tear back in
me: LOL! Man up tear ducts!
Mr. Amazing: man up… man up… sad tear ducts…deep down I know you are laughing at me…. not with me
me: ROTFLMAO! Right at you… at your parts
Mr. Amazing: deep down in the “she’s mocking me” part of my body it’s hurting me right in the feelings
me: Where is the “Oh God she is going to blog this” part of your body… because Im laughing at it now
Mr. Amazing: It’s right next to my central shame center… It’s part of my Central Anxiety System

TEN MINUTES LATER

Mr Amazing:  Kerry… I love Mac OS X

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Oct 30 2013

Reality is tenuous

Author: Kerry

Hey there… This is something I have not done here before… but something I have often done… I just thought it may be fun… I took the prompt and poof! A short story is born. (and yes… I know… I love my ellipses)

“When the sun sets on All Hallow’s Eve, blanketing the landscape in darkness, it is said the line between the living and the dead, the fantasy and the reality is tenuous.”

(A Halloween Prompt from Write at the Merge)

At Last! Darkness gasps as if for air as the last trace of light is diminished… Her vision is clouded by this dusky twilight time… but she is awake… and hungry… she creeps out to stretch her shadows that have been cramped into the darkest of corners and behind drawn blinds for what seems like an eternity… devouring the color from the landscape… until that need is satiated… and everything is now the color of midnight… This is the night!

They enter the scene as if in surround sound… The snap of a branch … the rustle of leaves… the whispers so hushed that you cannot make out their message… a giggle escapes the small ones … a guttural groan from the old ones… and they join with Darkness like long lost lovers… siblings reunited… a child nestled in its mothers arms. This is the night!

Movement so fast it causes wind so much joy that it howls … and much like a toddler with energy exploding from what seems uncontrolled limbs… shudders are slammed shut like a knocking of unwanted visitors … trees sway in rhythm their bone like branches screeching windows within their reach. This is the night!

Darkness trusts few, but she beckons to Mischief and Mayhem  and they chase from the streets the beings of light… this is not their time… not the place… this time belongs to darkness… and she hopes that on this most powerful night she will finally be able to keep from being chased back into the shadows… to keep light tucked away… trapped in bulbs.. and flames… peeking out from under doors… and through the windows.

You fear the unknown… but the unknown is but a child of darkness… it does not want to play with chaos and murder… but chaos and murder seem to be the only ones willing… and so it goes.

Stay inside… check your children… lock your doors they whisper to the superstitious minds with glee… what fun this is… to laugh and play…

And just like that. And all too soon Light gasps as if for breath as it makes its way over the distant horizon. It brings with it an army of colors that wash over the scene. Not this time darkness. Not this year. Perhaps the next All Hallows Eve will bring your freedom.

twilight

 

Oct 29 2013

For better or for Worse… I am

Author: Kerry

mama kats

Hi, my name is ______ and I am a _______.

Hi… My name is Kerry… and I am a Human Being.

… I wanted to put so many other things in that spot… I ran through every positive thing about myself I could put in there… and mentally these were quickly replaced with every vice I have put into name calling form as well… I am my own best friend… and my own worst enemy all wrapped up in one… I motivate myself and set goals… I am a driven individual… I also tear myself down… tell myself I am not capable of reaching dreams… I am a Self Sabotager… I am a friend… I thought of my closest friends and how much they mean to me… and how much I love them… and want to be there for them… and I am an unreliable friend… who oftens stands people up… overbooks herself… and is guilty of only calling when I need help… I am a wife… I am a nag… I am a confidant… I am an instigator… for better or for worse… I will judge you… and I will tell you… I guess that is just part of the package deal…. I am the only person I know that can beat herself up for beating herself up… I am a Mom…  the good and the bad… and I love fiercely! I am a self harmer…. albeit in remission… also an addict… also not in practice… I am a woman… but my boobs are not that great… just say’n

I am a human being… for better or worse… and I will forgive myself a thousand mistakes a day… and borrow from the next if I am having a really rough go at it.

 

Mom