I am lucky enough to be spending the day writing… granted I am writing from a waiting room… but I am the only one here.. and wow… the view is AWESOME!
Jan
14
2015
smiffbib
socially acceptable f@#% off!
Jan
13
2015
10 years is a decade!
Damn… first off… let me say… I’m looking mighty fine today…. no really… it’s just a good hair day and that is why I chose this prompt! “Find a photo of yourself taken 10 years ago and display it on your blog along with a current photo. How have you changed since the day that photo was taken?
I remember that day 10 years ago pictured below… on the beach… helping small child fly a kite for the first time… he was so small… and I just wanted to do whatever I could to help him feel like he could do anything, accomplish anything, be anything he wanted… here I am 10 years later… he is a pimply 15.5 year old… I am spending my day sitting outside of the Neurological Learning and Behavior Center while he goes through 5 hours of IQ and Learning testing… because not that much has changed in 10 year… I am still determined to do whatever it takes to let him know there is not a single thing he can not do… You see… my small (or not so small) is not an A student… never has been…. he is a C and D student… and he has had to work as hard for those C’s as so many kids do for an A… High School is burying him alive… and he is just a drop in the ocean of kids there… no one is helping… so we are going to get that help here… He is SO SMART and BRIGHT… he just learns differently than the school district is teaching him… and I will get this kiddo to college… if he wants it… even if it kills me… So in regards to that nothing has changed in the last ten years… other than my hair got FABULOUS! In 3 weeks this center will provide me a road map to help with his educational future and we will know the right steps to take to reach his goals and dreams… whatever they may be… currently it is to be an element bender… or spiderman…. Im not sure they have a class for that shit. Looking down at that picture besides the obvious observation I also have great skin now… I see a good Mom… a mom sitting out here in the waiting area blogging her anxiety away… taking selfies like a teenager just for you! 
Jan
08
2015
Safe… In My Arms
Jan
07
2015
The Toy Room Collection Continues
Jan
05
2015
A Year in Review….
The prompt was compile a list of best posts and photos from the last year… So instead I compiled a list of posts about my favorite pictures! Check them out!
12 Reasons I Love My Life
January 2014 – From the Front Porch
February 2014 – Sometimes being me is pretty damn cool
March 2014 – I found the Tardis!
April 2014 – Holi Festival of Colors
May 2014 – and once again… Painted Angels
June 2014 – This Day
July 2014 – Wishing for a more relaxing time
August 2014 – I raised these...
September 2014 – Star Lord… Maybe you’ve heard of me
October 2014 – The Toy Room Collection
November 2014 – Short People Got No Reason!
December 2014 – His first date
Jan
02
2015
2015
Well… The New Year brought me something a little unexpected… unexpected because I forgot about it… It brought me a several hundred dollar charge to my bank account… One not budgeted and one I am going to have to tighten the belt on our budget to cover… for something that I seemed to have lost my passion for… for something that had become an after thought… it started to feel like a task… and nobody cared if I did it or not… and I discovered other ways to keep my head from imploding with all the words I pour out here… Yes… Here… Smiffbib.com… My Domain renewed for another 3 years automatically… 3 Years! Can you believe it? I have been writing here for 3 years… I sat and thought for a few moments about what I had accomplished here… and the resounding answer was… NOT A DAMN THING!… and I chuckled to myself because… well… what did I ever hope to accomplish here… this blog is like that seinfeld comedy show… it is about nothing… and I never hoped to accomplish anything more than that… Well… That much was a success…. What has the last 3 years brought me… My new husband (Mr. Amazing) bought me Smiffbib as a gift… we have been through some of the most amazing adventures… trials… illnesses… deaths… all of those thoughts and been poured out into here… hidden in the craziest stories… silly pictures… one self discovery after another… all of the smalls milestones … every fear… every dark corner of depression… every broken thought… Pictures of Disneyland… screams of frustration at the tea party passing bills about my vagina… buried my first grandchild… my exhusband/sons father… and others so close to me…
One day I am going to write something so life changing that people will quote me… they will say Smiffbib and people will know what that means… Or not.
Last year at this time I thought I would be somewhere completely different than I am now… and that was my resolution.
Did you know how far you can come inside yourself without any external changes? Did you know how much you could be okay inside yourself no matter what kind of chaos is carrying on around you?
I have no idea what this new year will bring… none… I have no idea where I will be the next time this domain is up for renewal… I hope I have as much to say about them as I have this last three… Mr. Amazing just called me from the office.. He transferred the money into my bank account… he told me to stop worrying… I could keep Smiffbib… so I suppose I will have somewhere to record them all…
Soooo… I guess it is time to get out of this bed… and begin the new year.
Shout out to my favorite writing group of all time… and Kats prompt for getting me all resolutiony today… I have written 464 posts… here is to another couple hundred more.
Dec
25
2014
Merry Christmas Smiffbibians!!
Dec
18
2014
Tis the season…
Dec
17
2014
First Date… The Winter Ball…
Dec
15
2014
I.Just.Can’t.Even
Small child was off at the Winter Ball…. His very first date… that we had put so much effort in to making it fairy tale like so it would be something he could always remember… But I will save that for another post… dedicated to that story on its own…
Mr.Amazing and I thought we would take advantage of a night down town on our own… childless… at this time of year that ofcourse means holiday shopping… when my phone rang in the middle of the electronics aisle… Many of you will remember my fundraising efforts earlier this year for a man in stage 5 kidney failure… the call was to inform me that he and his 11 year old son had been struck and killed by a vehicle… and they were trying to let family know as it would be all over the news that evening….
I just can’t even…
It is so awful… The most awful thing is the boy, Levi… I only met Levi once… for a few moments… shared a few Dr. Who quotes with him and sent him off to play with the boys… I cannot imagine what his mother will do… I just cant even wrap my mind around this….
Todd… The Father… I did know… I have known him all of my life… we have been close and then lost contact so many times I cannot keep track… I am not ready I suppose to feel all the feels I would experience in telling you all the wonderful things I had intended to write about this man right now… Instead I will just post this instead… which I really intended to write something heartfelt and inspiring to accompany… But I.Just.Can’t
http://www.gofundme.com/iulpcg
