It’s been a while, hasn’t it? The dust has settled on this blog… the entries sparse and scattered like forgotten fairy dust. Life… it swept in with its whirlwind of changes. Kids grew… demanding less of my words and more of my time (a fair trade, I suppose). My health took an unexpected turn, making even the simplest tasks… like holding a pen or typing a sentence… feel Herculean.
But something magical happened amidst the chaos. Ten years ago… I started a little street art project… as you know. What began as a whimsical idea blossomed into an annual tradition – Fairy City. Each year, I’d create and install themed art… transforming the space into a haven for fairies… and for those who believed.
This coming year marks a milestone – a decade of Fairy City. It’s also a bittersweet ending. My final year of themed installations. My body simply can’t keep up with the demands of large-scale creation anymore.
Yet, as I prepare for this final hurrah, a familiar desire to write is coming back up to surface. A need for the connection that blossoms when thoughts and stories are shared.
Perhaps this decade-long journey with Fairy City has been more than just about art. Personally, I think it is what I did with all of these thoughts… energies…. emotions that I have in abundance
My children are older now… their worlds expanding beyond the reach of my words. But maybe there’s a different kind of story waiting to be told. A story of resilience… of finding magic in unexpected corners… of embracing change while cherishing the past.
This blog has been a silent observer, maybe it might just become a companion once more. A space to chronicle the next chapter, to explore the lessons learned amidst fairies and health struggles, and to rediscover the joy of writing, one word at a time.
Who knows, maybe the fairies will whisper inspiration in my ear. After all, they’ve always been quite good at reminding me of the magic that resides within us all.
If you know me… you will know that I do not cling to religion… and my Sundays are spent with the different correspondents of the CBS Sunday Morning news program… and have been all of my adult life. If you live with me… you either learn to love it… or leave me alone with my coffee through it… I prefer to watch it in silence… though some of the stories spark such conversations that we miss the remainder of it…. except the moment of nature… when everything stops… and everyone runs in the room to watch in silence the beautiful blue marble we live on… seeing and hearing sounds we have never experienced… or ones we have and we relive it through that moment. I have many favorites about this program… Techno Clause is a HUGE hit in our home… but the Hail and Farewell episode of the year is always something we watch in reverence and wonder…. This year was no different. I remember sobbing through the Hail and Farewell to 2022, But I do not remember why… and as my soul was breathed hope this morning through the Hail and Farewell to 2023 I decided I wanted to write why… see the program doesn’t really change much… life continues… people live and do great and terrible things… and people die… and stories change our world and the planet is always getting warmer… but what does change… is me.
I had the dawning realization this morning… as I seem to be processing some trauma of that last few years… and shedding some of my careful compartments of emotions and thoughts tucked away for a safer calmer time to unpackage and feel… that… well as cliche as it sounds… it is what it is. I watched as Anderson Cooper talked about this as well… funny how some of the people you love and admire the most you have never met… Anderson Cooper is one of those for me… Mr Amazing suggested that if I did know him I may not feel that way… and I responded with ofcourse I would. Because I understand every characteristic… every value… comes with its other side… infact thinking two sided is very narrow in of itself… and as the news program alerted me to the fact that shooting down the Chinese Balloon… happened this year… that the boats and submarines that imploded or capsized killing so many were this year…. that the canadian wildfires… the Redwood fires… the Hawaii fires… were this year. In a year of mass shootings being daily news… and two wars now raging… the middle east one joined the Ukraine/Russia one… though it is not eithers first. Time seemed to slow down… it is an illusion… created by so much happening.
Thankyou NASA!
So in this spirit… I too would like to bid 2023 Hail and Farewell…
First we Hail…
Hail to personal growth and development- I mentioned those containers above that I need to unpack and process… I have been doing this slowly… in silence… as I mold different tiny things from clay. I have learned a lot… mostly good… and may bad…. but I am going to stop there with those adjectives… because I do not believe events to be so easily categorized… so many consequences of something bad or terrible feeling at the time do turn out to be good… and some of those low hanging fruits that bring immediate joy… can turn sour in retrospect. Nothing is Black and White… it is always in the middle of that grey area somewhere… and HOW GREAT IS THAT!!!
Hail to Mr Amazing. Do I even need to say why? I love this man and our patchwork tribe more than there are words in my vocabulary to express. So I won’t try. I will continue to just love as I do.
Hail to our commander in chief! Politics are exactly that… Grey… and my feelings about President Biden are also somewhere in the middle… and me with my feelings about things can go jump off a cliff… because it is events that he is ushering in that matters.. and I am grateful for so much of that. Did you know that it was Nixon that signed the endangered animals act into law? Thanks to sunday morning I do now too… all I knew of Nixon was watergate… but the man did some great things… again. Grey is always the answer
Hail to my babies!! (I gave birth to one… I have many) They are the most amazing creatures! Through the black and the white of their lives… I get a front row seat to all of it… someone hand me some pom poms… cause I cannot possibly cheer for them any louder…
Hail to my dad!!! This one is a very recent story… and it is his… but my part of that story was finding a friend in him… finding some interesting traits we share… and honestly finding out how much I just love him. Weird right?
Hail to my babies babies!!! OMGOSH!! I just cant even. I grow SO much personally because of these little monsters. I stay mobile and driven because of them. I am loved. I love them so.
The point of all of this… is there is no good and bad… there just is life. What an amazing year it has been… what an amazing time to be alive… ofcourse… that could be said clear back as far as we know… and as far forward as we can imagine…. Surely I am not getting my point across… because I do not have the words to express it… other than Grey. So lets move onto some farewells
Farewell to parts of my brain… Farewell to a time that my License plates did not announce my disabilities… Farewell to my 40s!! Farewell to some family and friends… Farewell to a version of me that I have outgrown… Farewell to some ability… and mobility too… I must say farewell to some things… in order to make room for new things… Farewell to some of the darkest personal times of my life (yes, this year, I unpackaged some of those containers and climbed inside of them and hid in the darkness where I wallowed in the pity of it all… and then stopped)
So if the best analogy I have come up with for this place that I am in… is two sides of a coin… and life is one big coin toss… Throw the fucking coin!! and lets do it again and again and again.
I would like to pause and acknowledge… I didn’t write this year… I didn’t write birthday letters… I didn’t do a lot of things… but the other side of that coin is the things I did do… and I am so grateful each and everyday for the people that make it possible. (I am one of those people as well) Love is the religion I cling too… and it has brought me so far!
my original angel girlJOY!!!My sponsor of all adventures. My Partner. My Best Friend. My Most sexy human!OMGOSH How lucky was I to share a cup of chowder with these humans. Thank you for that!Getting to know family I didnt, and laying to rest some I also didnt. and all of it was perfectly grey!These girls… my heart.My Tolman and Sippy Cup CornerMy Badass TribeMy Son. My God I love him.
I’m just not- I’m not trying to be ominous… I’m trying to save these photos for when I can talk about them… which is not today… I also wanna talk about turning 50… but not today … today I just want to get these photos off my phone until I can write about it and process it… so that I dont stare at them any longer… okay … thanks… I love you… bubye
You know, I was 26 when you were born… And now that you are 24… I would like to tell you that the last 24 years of my life were the best years of my life.
It amazes me how time flies… To be honest… I have never wanted you to grow old. Selfish I know… But, look at you! You’re all grown up. Even to this day, I have not gotten over the fact that you are now an adult… ready to take on the world… I mean I bought you underwear and socks for your birthday still! Forgive my possessiveness, but I guess every mommy feels that way.
When you were born, you weighed a whopping 5lb. You were a very ornery baby… BUT every time you smiled…. you had this magical glint in your eyes that melted my heart. When your daddy first held you in his arms, I remember him telling me, “I made this.”
He was so proud of you! So am I, So is the BFG. You have grown up exactly the way we wanted you to… a strong… independent (yes this means stubborn) Soul. You always surprised us as a kid. You would do things without much nudging and still come up with solutions.
We are sure you will be able to handle the pressures of life with dedication as you always did in every circumstance. You can rest assured that your tribe will always have your back. Be kind and work hard. Remember what is important… Protect that same magical glint in the eye you have passed onto Sam… OH SAMMY!!! Everything will be okay Johnathon… it will… nothing will ever go as planned… but no one is more loved than you… and I know that you love that boy just as much…. He is so lucky… we all are to have you….
With the world today it is so hard to give advice… it is such a different world than I could have ever imagined…. but know this… I believe in you… I love you… and I wish you the very Happiest of Birthdays!!
We’ve all heard it before. “I hope you get one just like you.” It was usually said during a battle of wills or after a trip to the principal’s office or “making out with the foreign exchange student” and more than likely… muttered under their breath like a curse. Just wait for what? Super sweet baby snuggles? Adorable sleepy smiles? Nope.
Revenge in the form of a tiny version of yourself.
So instead of rolling my eyes… I respond the latest parenting woe by saying, “you were just like that,” … I remember how they handled it or how I wished they had handled it… Instead of feeling uncomfortable with having a mirror reflect my least favorite qualities back at me… I confront them and try to understand why we all cry when we’re frustrated or shut people out when they hurt us… And when they (the grandbabies) stand their ground and refuse to back down… I silently applaud their tenacity and calmly inform them that they’re going up against the masters of tenacity (These young parents got it from ME!) and they might want to check themselves before they wreck themselves.
Maybe it is not a curse after all…
Have you ever noticed a look of resignation on a child’s face? That moment when a grandchild gives in, and does what the parents say. You can tell that submission isn’t easy. Something happens in the shoulders. The head may droop. The step may be slow.
Go to bed now, young lady.
Rise and shine, it’s time for school.
Brush your teeth. Right now.
Two more bites of beans, or no dessert.
Hug your sister. She didn’t mean to trip you.
No more screen time for you,
And so it goes.
Those nagging reminders… Those marching orders… Those words often said in exasperation are teaching you self care… for your adult life…. because on the other end of the spectrum here…. with my children grown… in the house for weeks… those are the same things I tell myself as a form of self love. So listen to your Moms…. enjoy your kids rebellion… and then relish in the joy of grandkids…. this is what life is…. this story is brought to you by a mom who DESPERATELY needs to focus on the joy to get through the rest of this month… then I look forward to the next thing… and I don’t allow myself to go backwards… or stay stuck. We are BURIED in snow… nothing in my lab work looks good…. everything is swollen… and I am the most grateful person on this planet for ALL OF IT. because I am alive. and that means forward march! (see what I did there?)
Today You turn 33 years old. It’s been another year – time moving on as though it doesn’t know that there is so much we want to get done before …. well before whatever time we said we would do it before!
This year… in this birthday letter…. this weird ass tradition that I don’t even remember how it got started… I would like to tell you what I have learned from watching you… I have always said it is my children who raised me… you definitely taught me some of the most important life lessons and shaped so much of who I am today.
With its ups and downs and fast pace Life can be distracting. The most important thing you can do is to take time to consider what you’re truly about. I’m not talking about what you own, or who you know.
I’m talking about; strip away labels and the watch you wear all those images you may hold of what ‘making it’ & being big is all about- take away your family & friends (they enrich your life, they don’t define you) and really think, when it comes down to bare bones; what are you about? Are you a kind person? Are you giving? Do you make people feel good about themselves? Are you a happy person? Are you happy with your life and what you do? As human beings we aren’t perfect, so what can you do to improve your shortcomings? What are you truly passionate about? What kind of things make you unhappy and how are you going to try and distance yourself from it? Who are you?
The answers to the above may take a lifetime to discover (that’s the beauty of life), but today on your birthday, I give thanks. I am grateful for being content in who I am and what I am contributing to the world. This sense of purpose drives me.
I believe that you should find Spirit in others- in people’s kindness… in the beauty of ordinary life.
Thank you for being the one to teach me that… it is who I am… my truth… and it is a reflection of you.
Here’s a list of EXACTLY what I learned from watching you (incase you forget that you are light):
Be kind
Be grateful. Never take anything for granted- no one owes you anything
Don’t allow material things to give you value. Create that within yourself
Find true confidence in knowing who you are- care what people think but don’t let their opinion fundamentally change how you see yourself
Create happiness- it’s an ongoing act, not a destination
Give positive energy wherever you go- you’ll get the same thing back
Respect yourself- never compromise the core of you for anyone
Time is valuable- if you’re unhappy, make a change and do it quickly
Nourish your soul & invest in yourself
All my love. All my respect. All my gratitude. Happy Birthday Angel, I am SO proud of you,
Soooo I’m on a roll… Writing birthday letters to others besides the person who’s birthday it is… Please know that I do it from a place of love.
Sweet Boy, I wish I could change some of the harsh realities that have already happened in your young life. I wish we lived in a world where tragedy didn’t strike innocent children. But I can’t change the past and I can’t protect you from all the bad things as much as I want to. The best I can do, Sammy, is trust your dad will teach you and guide you to the best of his ability. As you grow, there are a few fundamental things I want you to cling to. Use them as your guidebook, especially when life gets tough.
Spread kindness like wildfire.
Your dad is the epitome of kindness. Everywhere he goes, and to everyone he meets, he spreads kindness and laughter. Samson, you have your Daddy’s same kind heart and compassionate nature. I see it already in your expression when you listen to music… when you hear my silly voice greeting you. Hold on to that, even when life gets hard. Your Daddy is so widely loved and admired because he loved and admired everyone around him. Everyone deserves kindness, baby. Don’t be afraid to show it.
Be brave and courageous.
There will be times in your life where you’d rather hide or run or bury your head in the sand than face whatever challenge is in your way. I know because I’ve been there many times. In those times, I want you to remember to be brave and show courage. But bravery and courage don’t have to come from you; in fact, it often doesn’t because we, as humans, struggle with the strong grip of fear. Often it overwhelms us. When that happens, always call on your dad to lend you courage and bravery, He has so much of it. He will give you the strength you need to get through the battle you’re facing.
Be respectful.
I have already begun to teach you how to respect your elders. Because I am so very old now. Even as a tiny young thing, I am so proud of how polite you are. Keep that up. Everyone deserves respect and I expect you to show it. I expect you to respect your teachers and your friends. I expect you to respect law enforcement and those in authority over you. I especially expect you to respect girls, and later, women. When you show respect to others, even when they’re being jerks to you, you will always come out on top.
Remember how blessed you are.
Life is full of hills and valleys, some valleys being worse than others. You have already experienced a deep valley in your young life. Unfortunately, none of us are immune to tragedy. It is easy to count our blessings when we are riding high on top of those hills. The true measure of a person, I believe, is when you can still see the blessings you have in the midst of those valleys. Always remember, no matter what you’re going through in life, be it a big or small challenge, that you are incredibly blessed. When you are facing a challenge, focus on your blessings and hang on to them tight.
Love him like your father loved me.
Your Daddy loved me more than I ever thought was possible. Sammy, your dad, loved me with a kind of love that all sons could learn from, but few accomplish. I want you to love yourself like your Daddy loved you. EVERY DAY. Love yourself like you are the magic you are… Love yourself with the amazement and wonder I see in your dad’s eyes when he looks at you, I am sure my eyes hold that same wonder when I look at him. Your magic is hereditary.
It is always the right choice to do the right thing.
Sammyinpajammies, you will be faced with the temptation to do lots of things because all the other boys are doing it. It may be the temptation to smoke or make fun of the new kid, treat a girl like an object, or cheat on a test. None of these things are worth it in the end. Not only will you disappoint me by choosing the wrong thing, but you will also ultimately disappoint yourself, and that is a far worse feeling. You will do some of these things anyways… and then you will learn grace… forgiveness… and you pick up and do the right things again. Doing the right thing is often going to take a great deal of courage and bravery (But you got these characteristics from your dad in abundance). It will likely make you feel like a bit of an outcast at times. It may even make you the target of nasty comments. Your dad will always be here to help you with making the right choice, and I will be here to help you get through whatever may come from your choice. “My” baby, you are far too young for any of this to mean anything to you right now. But I promise that one day you will need these bits and pieces of advice. Tuck them away in your heart and draw them out when you need them. You are a wonderful blessing to your Daddy, and the world. You are meant for great things, Sam. I can’t wait to see how you make your mark!
Love your old grammy!
Happy Birthday Old little dude… I am so so lucky you were my son. I love you so much.
Oral tradition tells us the earth began when Crawfish dove into the watery depths of the world and built the first landmass from mud at the bottom of the ocean. From these early beginnings, all things good sprang to life, including Me! So sit right back and I’ll tell a tale ….
Friday the 25th I went to the Dentist at 9 am to have a broken tooth fixed…. that I had cracked … on bread?? two days prior. This is where it started. The dentist felt my jaw crumbling underneath the broken tooth…. extracted it… did an emergency extraction of a molar on the opposite side… cut out the crumbling portion of my Jaw…. resectioned it… and put in bone grafts…. this gave me two black eyes and a black jaw line…. and apparently Covid.
I tested positive Tuesday…. Surprise! TWO YEARS!! for TWO YEARS I have done anything and everything they suggested to not get this…. and here it was finally.
Pause for the gratitude I feel for the fact that it was now… when there are medicines… vaccines… and room in the hospitals.
and it is a good thing… because even though I am fully vaccinated… and it is supposed to be a mild variant… It tried to kill me with in the first 24 hours. It is really disgusting to tell you about this… but I am a story teller so you get all the details!… I wake up feeling like someone has poured hot cement in my sinuses and chest everyday… Today for the first time, I had the presence of mind not to panic when this happened and choke down advil, which once it has kicked in allows me to be able to cough and swallow until I can breathe.
I’ve been quarantined in my bedroom since Tuesday- literally haven’t left it…. Mr Amazing just keeps sliding me what I need into the room. Ironically when we came to work at home- I bought this hospital tray as a desk…. bahahahaha soooo here I am using it in bed really in bed, not just sitting on a bed.
Why do I tell you all this? Well… because im not very professional.
While fevered I bought Mr Amazing a Digeridoo… and the cats an automatic laser pointer…. so this has not been for nothing <shrug>
Today was my secretly chosen date for Fairy Citys Annual Emergence (NUMBER 7!!!) obviously that is not happening… Luckily because I made it up- it can be rescheduled … there is something else eating away at this hippy heart and soul of mine… Ukraine. I have already donated every dime I can to help… and I feel completely helpless… I know that this will not mean anything to anyone but me… but I am dedicating my Fairy City this year to those brave people… to anything Anti-Putin …. all the words I paint… all the art I make… it is being acted out right now by those brave souls…. from the farmers laughing as they use a tractor to take a tank… to the people returning to fight…. to the people going to safety to return to fight another day…. they represent everything brave… and good… and kind… as well as the Syrian refugees… and those suffering in Myanmar… no… no not you… trucker convoy people… not you…. them! So on that note… So much love and light to all of you… and as always… We will be the hopeful
Globally, as of the 19th November 2021, there have been 255,324,963 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 5,127,696 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 18 November 2021, a total of 7,370,902,499 vaccine doses have been administered.
I have been keeping an unpublished version of this…. adding to it periodically…. but Today was the day I asked my Tall Child if I could blog this….. so lets catch up – I left off my pandemic timeline April 2020… Sure I have written SO MANY updates since then… mostly if not all local and personal… but lets look at this from a broader scope… Here is what has happened
I have collected most of this from the Yale Medicine site, who has tracked events and written articles and laid them out by date- which made it easier for me to pick and choose events to mention each month.
May: Experts focus on “flattening the curve,” After months in lockdown, states slowly begin a “phased reopening,” based on criteria outlined by a very angry temper tantrum throwing Trump in coordination with state, county, and local officials. Meanwhile, scientists across the globe are in a race to develop vaccines.
June: Efforts to reopen the economy leads to new cases, and the curve is not flattening. THIS IS MY SHOCKED FACE!!! Experts point to the dangers of large gatherings and use terms like “clusters” and “super-spreader events.” all while Tucker Carlson and crowd started suggesting this actually was all fake and planned.
July: Officials debate the best scenarios for allowing children to safely return to school in the fall.
August: The first documented case of reinfection is reported in Hong Kong. On a broader scale, COVID-19 is now the third leading cause of death in the U.S. (after heart disease and cancer). Ironically here locally, this is when school started… given the choice of online or in person…. because you know…. we underpay our teachers… so lets rub salt in the wound. We kept our child home.
September: The school year opens with a mix of plans to keep children and teachers safe, ranging from in-person classes to remote schooling to hybrid models. Meanwhile, the WHO recommends steroids to treat severely and critically ill patients, but not to those with mild disease. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that people who had recently tested positive were about twice as likely to have reported dining at a restaurant than were those with negative test results.
October: President Trump tests positive for COVID-19 after a gathering in the White House Rose Garden where multiple people were also thought to have been infected. And though rumors swirled that he was WAY sicker than reported… he did the infamous balcony removal of his mask like a petulant toddler- Meanwhile, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) grants full approval to a drug called remdesivir for treatment of COVID-19.
November: Cases rise again as cold weather drives more people indoors—the U.S. begins to break records for daily cases/deaths. Many officials around the country bring plans for reopening to a halt. As the holidays approach, the CDC urges Americans to stay home, limit the size of their gatherings, and avoid mixing with people who don’t live in their household. I saw NO ONE outside of my home for this holiday.
December: The FDA grants Pfizer-BioNTech the first Emergency Use Authorization (EUA) for an mRNA vaccine, a new type of vaccine that has proven to be highly effective against COVID-19. A week later, it grants another EUA to Moderna, also for an mRNA vaccine. But, as vaccinations begin, major variants of the virus are beginning to circulate. The UK reports that a new variant of the virus, called B.1.1.7, could be more contagious. By the end of the month, B.1.1.7 is detected in the U.S. We had Christmas outside with the kids and grandkids… for about 45 minutes freezing cold.
2021
January: In the U.S., the number of cases and deaths begins to fall. But more variants are spreading, including one first identified in South Africa called B.1.351, which is reported in the U.S. by the end of the month. Around the world, the race is on to vaccinate as many people as possible in time to slow the spread of the variants. Researchers work to understand how deadly or contagious variants are compared to the original virus. Tucker Carlson and Q-anons? well= they decide this is poisonous or will change your DNA… sooooo…. OH BUT PAUSE FOR AN INSURECTION!! okay, carry on
February: There is not enough vaccine supply to meet the demand. But the Biden Administration expects the addition of a third option (by Johnson & Johnson) to make vaccines more available to everyone. Meanwhile, companies are working to tweak their products to make distribution easier and to control new variants. So, while there may be hope that the end is in sight for the pandemic, it’s highly probable that we will still be wearing masks for some time to come. We cross the 500,000 death count in the US.
March: According to a 120-page report from WHO, the novel coronavirus that causes Covid-19 probably spread to people through an animal, and probably started spreading among humans no more than a month or two before it was noticed in December of 2019. The report says a scenario where it spread via an intermediate animal host, possibly a wild animal captured and then raised on a farm, is “very likely.” Did you know this? No? Why do I know this?? Because I am SO TIRED of people saying it was made in Wuhan by Fauci. Tigers in the Zoos keep testing positive!
April: The global tally of deaths from Covid-19 surpasses 3 million, according to data compiled by Johns Hopkins.
May – July: According to figures published by the CDC, the more contagious Delta variant accounts for an estimated 93.4% of coronavirus circulating in the US during the last two weeks of July. The figures show a rapid increase over the past two months, up from around 3% in the two weeks ending May 22.
August – September: The FDA authorizes an additional Covid-19 vaccine dose for certain immunocompromised people. The US FDA grants full approval to the Pfizer/BioNTech Covid-19 vaccine for people age 16 and older, making it the first coronavirus vaccine approved by the FDA. US CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky diverges from the agency’s independent vaccine advisers to recommend boosters for a broader group of people — those ages 18 to 64 who are at increased risk of Covid-19 because of their workplaces or institutional settings — in addition to older adults, long-term care facility residents and some people with underlying health conditions. So I got mine!!!
October: Pfizer/BioNTech say they are seeking FDA emergency use authorization for their Covid-19 vaccine for children ages 5 to 11.
November 2, 2021 – Walensky says she is endorsing a recommendation to vaccinate children ages 5-11 against Covid-19, clearing the way for immediate vaccination of the youngest age group yet in the US.
Today, On your real birthday – the second one celebrated in this pandemic, no less! I can’t believe we got here already.
Everybody online always cries about how HARD the diaper years are to get through. The sleepless nights. The poopy explosions. The fussy eaters. But the truth of the matter is that they haven’t gotten to the real struggle …yet. Did they forget what it was like when they were teens themselves?
I’m not saying you were a difficult child because I think you are a GEM compared to how I WAS growing up. But I had you through your teen years… And when two strong women face each other day in and day out, it can be a bit exhausting.
But exhaustion does not mean a lack of love and that’s why I wanted to write a letter to my daughter. I wanted to tell her everything I hope she already knows but still needs to hear from her mom. That deep down – I still see her. My little girl.
I miss you. Before I say anything else about love or admiration, I need to start there. Because with every single day that you age, it seems that you step one foot further into being my best friend…. instead of my daughter.
I am so proud of who you are becoming, my shining light. I’ve said this to you a million times and I will say it to you a million more. The gods gave me you because you are good – wholly and from the inside.
You see the world in such a special way. You haven’t been affected the way I have and I don’t think your perception will ever change. You are the ying to my yang. I am the “everyone is trying to kidnap you” and you are the “maybe they just want a hug” energy in our family. I think we need both.
Your children are special… Do you want to know how I know? Because I already went on that ride and it sucked. You actually have it so much worse than we did 25 years ago… and yet they got you. and you are good.
I can’t imagine what you deal with on a regular basis.
We’ve discussed this before – how the media is corrupt and designed to make us feel bad about ourselves just so we can continue to buy things. Hold onto that.
You are beautiful. Don’t ever forget that.
You Make Me So Proud
A letter to my daughter wouldn’t be complete without me telling you that you make me proud on a daily basis. I know this life has been tough and unfair. You made the best of it. You are resilient. You adapt and are capable of taking on so much more than you give yourself credit for – please know this.
Always Have Fun
I see you with your friends. You are crazy. You are the crazy girl with lots of laughs. Don’t ever lose that. It’s who you are. There will be moments in your life where the world might try to dull that. Don’t let it. Hold onto that superpower.
Happy Birthday Heather Feather…. you are soooooo loved.
