StoryTelling

Feb 05 2013

Small Child

Author: Kerry

I claim several as mine … But I’ve had the opportunity to name only one…

Small Child’s Father and I decided the second we found out …

Girl = My Choice

Boy=His (Mostly due to a family tradition of naming after the grandfather)

Ultra-Sound technician let us know at about 17 weeks that we were having a girl … I was a high – risk pregnancy … I was having non stress tests and Ultra – sounds weekly… Week 18 … Yep! a girl… I bought fairy wall stickers… I named her after a Russian Princess… I had the nickname all picked out… I was buying clothes like a mad woman… Cute pink clothes… Week 19…. Week 20… I couldn’t make this up you guys… honestly… “See this pearl strand is his spine… ” The cursor moving over the screen… “You mean her”… “No… you are having a boy” …. “NO… they said a girl”… cursor moves over the appropriate area “That is either the biggest Clitoris I have ever seen… or you are having a boy”…. I stared at the monitor… That was definitely a boy….

(Have I told this story before? I can not remember, and I am not going through 200 posts to see… That’s right… I hit the milestone of 200 posts… and 1 year… Woot… okay on with the story)

Tearfully returned all the pink… and the fairy… threw away the custom stitch diaper bag with the MOST BEAUTIFUL NAME in the whole wide world on it… replaced it all with tigger and pooh bear…

In the hospital .. about to deliver … Small Child’s father begins to panic… “I don’t know anyone named Keith that has ever amounted to anything” …. “You fathers name is Keith!” … “I want more for him” … and he went to every office in that facility and took a tally… the most common name for a Doctor at that time… in that place… it was a good name… and when he arrived it fit him perfectly… we signed it on his birth certificate … and I have threatened the life of anyone that tries to shorten it… those doctors plaques did not read John.

My miracle son…

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Inspired by this weeks writing prompts-  Share how you came up with your kids names!

mama kats

Feb 04 2013

Earth to Kerry…

Author: Kerry

Messages from Last Sunday…

Sue: Earth to Kerry – Kerry are you down there somewhere?

Me:  Here I am… Buried in snow!

Sue: I’m in the hospital gonna have another surgery on Sunday

Me: You are? On what?

Sue: I’m so fucking scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: What is the surgery on? Your knee?

Sue: On my knee to take out all the hardware from the replacement surgery

Me: Oh man.. That sounds painful

Sue: What do you think happens when you die?

Me: I think your soul is freed from the body and reunites with other familiar energies… And pranks those of us blinded by our physical bodies

I don’t think there is a single ounce of pain, or fear in the afterlife… Just a continuance of love

But I also think that you aren’t going anywhere yet

Sue: and what happens to evil people?

Me: I think that when freed from the body, the guilt of what they realize and the lack of loved ones makes them alone in the dark.

Sue: I SURE wish I could believe like you

I need to update my status and let family know whats a happening. Wanna write it for me?

Me: Yes I do…say this

Held hostage in hospital, they want my knee as payment! Send licorice

I love you sweetheart. I’m just trying to cheer you up

Sue: I wish you were here!

Me: I would have licorice!

Sue: LOL

Me: Okay woman, I have to go shovel two feet of snow… I will check on you in bit okay?

<at midnight Sunday the following message came in>

Danielle from Sue’s account : Hey Kerry, mom isn’t doing too well… She went into cardiac arrest today and is in critical condition. They did CPR for 20 mins and are sure there was some degree of brain injury… We don’t know exactly what caused it and haven’t got to see her yet they have her on a lot of machines right now.. Hopefully we will hear more soon

Me: Okay sweetie, praying for her.

Danielle from Sue’s account : They just said the prognosis doesn’t look good

 

Me: That breaks my heart… I’m hoping for the best

 

<6 am message>

 

Danielle from Sue’s account :Mom passed away a little after 4am

 

I shared this for a couple reasons… one being I wanted to keep it…. to remember my last conversation with my dear friend … the second being a sweet reminder that you never know… and you cant say you ‘I love you” too much…. Third and Last –  It seems a little cliche doesn’t it? Her asking me that one week prior? But it happened? How did she know?

 

I want to know what you think happens when we die?

 

 

Feb 01 2013

… This is a post in self defense!

Author: Kerry

So for a few days now I have been trying to come up with something really amazing to post… My 200th post is SO CLOSE and well…  did you hear me? 200 POSTS! (almost)

I tried to remember what life was like before smiffbib… and I really couldn’t … Much like when a child enters your life…  I suppose in all reality… it is my BABY!

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I think back to my time blogging on Smiffbib…. It’s been almost a year of reflecting… opining… and sharing many cups of coffee with you…  my dear readers… Whoever the hell you are… while we’ve chatted about life and everything in between.

And over that time… I feel like a part of my life has actually changed directly as a result of this blogging experience….

Laughing at myself isn’t something I’ve had too much trouble doing over the years … Things that were once kept in the dark recesses of my rapidly fading memory are now on full public display for all to enjoy at my expense… and the pressure of this magical post quickly began to weigh on me… stress me out… how could I ever put it into words how much this all means to me… when it is all complete nonsense? I actually shed a tear trying to find a way to express everything it is to me… everything it means… words aren’t enough…

So I decided to call it off… 200 is no big deal…. HAPPY 199 BABY!

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 I get some sort of gift for this don’t I???

Jan 23 2013

… Heart of the House

Author: Kerry

This Week’s Prompt – SHOW US YOUR KITCHEN!

mama kats

The first thing that came to mind is WHY? Who would want to see my kitchen!! I know… It is to judge my hard water problems… or organizational skills? Because really I do not need your opinion (Unless you have a magical hard water remedy)

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And then I thought that perhaps it was to judge my junk food… (It is two weeks before the Puppy/Super bowl!!) … I guess no one is buying the “I just have a slow metabolism” routine again.

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All kidding aside… I realized this is the room where the magic happens… Whoa! not that magic! We keep that in the bedroom… for the most part.

(you are wondering now aren’t you)

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This is the heart of my home… this counter… this is where we roll out Christmas cookies… and color… serve play dough pizzas… homework…pancakes on the weekends… This is where we have Settlers of Catan show downs … wrap birthday presents … discuss our day while dinner is being prepared… it is where the cat lounges in the sun… Toddlers are set to put on their shoes … multiple parties and holidays along with their appropriate food spreads have been set out here and surrounded and picked at by the people I love… jokes told… laughter filling the room…. kids running around it with Nerf guns and princess dresses… tea is prepared … served… sipped… It really is a magical place.

(Also- I get that this isn’t really wordless.. but there are pictures… and it is Wednesday)

Jan 22 2013

11 random facts you probably wish you never knew about me

Author: Kerry

liebsterLabelsFinalI was nominated for an award! This is new! I don’t really get an actual award… although I do have a trophy shelf for the day it happens… when I am discovered… it will most likely happen while I am searching out the perfect avocado at the grocery store… I will shriek eureka! and the playwright/producer/art-gallery owner (whomever happens to discover me) will echo my shrill exclamation at the very sight of me and my talents… and that is how it will happen… I just know it… Until then- Tamara Tipton a fellow blogger has nominated me for this adorable heart bearing graphic above… and to receive the award I have to answer these questions (Something about nominating others… but I’m skipping that part… because I don’t think we should give these out to everyone.. I don’t need the competition)

 kidding aside, It is a fun blog prompt & I adore Tamara and her blog 🙂

  1.  A childhood memory- One of my earliest childhood memories is trick or treating at the 7-11 in California… My Mother stayed in her blue station wagon and let us kids run in for what resembles a spit cup at the dentists office amount of Slurpee they were giving out… It was my first rebel moment… I chose coke flavored! My mother informed me I was disappointing the prophet and most likely going to hell… and I gleefully slurped up my evil Slurpee… Mm-mm
  2. One of your biggest fears – Aside from the normal… Loss of a child… Zombie Apocalypse… and living in North Korea… I would have to say my BIGGEST fears are anything body related… that is no longer attached to the body… it freaks me out people!!! Clipped Toenails…. Trimmed hair… Whatever the hell is inside that little catch on my Ped Egg…. (I just threw up in my mouth a little) and don’t even get me started on the fluid.
  3. Something you wish you knew at 18- I knew it all at 18, doesn’t every 18 year old?? I wish there were some things I had not known… But that is another blog post.
  4. Five things you cannot leave the house without- Keys, My Phone, My I Pad,  Lip Goo (I love it) and Gum (Wow I feel like that all should have been more profound)
  5. Something you like about yourself. My Parenting skills… I feel like an outcast when I say that… So many moms spend so much time beating themselves up… but I am actually a pretty kick ass mom… I love my kids.
  6. If you could spend an hour in the past, when would you want to visit? I have to tell you… I really believe we are living in the most amazing of times! In my life I have witness the birth of DVD, Internet, Cell Phones, Smart Phones, Tablets, the first black President… I’m a firm believer I will be here for the first woman President as well (HILARY 2016!) … I think life is a wonder… and miracles happen everyday… I would like to take that one hour… and extend my life in this time by that much.
  7. If you could have a thousand dollar gift card to one store, which store would it be? Any art supply store would do 🙂
  8. If you could anonymously grant a wish, whose would you grant? My Son … I do not know what he would ask for… but I would give him the world if I could.
  9. What flavor evokes the strongest memory for you? See #1 – Cola Flavored anything!!! I Love it!
  10. Why do you blog? I am pretty sure my head would expand and explode if I couldn’t get all of this out … There is so much to say… Plus I really like annoying people with these ellipses… I do it on purpose
  11. Dog or Cat person?? Both!!! I have one of each!!! File this one with the what I wouldn’t leave the house without response 🙂

There you go! Now you know! Gimme Gummy Coke Bottles now!

 

Jan 14 2013

… Release through Creativity…

Author: Kerry

I’m cheating again this week… I might have a problem with it honestly… So mamakats writers prompts came out a day early… and my cell phone chimed as the email came to my gmail account as I was spending my Sunday afternoon in my paint room… I stopped and with paint covered fingers navigated the touch screen to open it and read the prompts… The prompts this week were take from the “One Word” resolutions of last week… What a GREAT idea!! Two of the words jumped off the page from the list of 5 ( here are all five just because it did inspire so many blog ideas)

mama kats

 

1.) Explore 2.) Release 3.) Trust 4.) Acceptance 5.) Creativity

I experience release through creativity…

I have an issue… okay several, but if you have read this blog a while the theme around most of it is in appropriately channeled anxiety…

So every other Sunday morning (the Sunday morning small child is at his fathers)

I generally wake up on the wrong side of the bed… I cry at the drop of a hat… I get very nit picky.. and panicky about housework (which then triggers poor Mr. Amazing’s anxiety)

Its regular party…

But we recognize it.. and I have all the tools to deal with it… even though sometimes I forget I can actually use these tools…

First-  I took a warm shower… took the time to do the girly groomy thingys that sometimes make us feel better…

still hadn’t found the calm or release I desperately needed…

So I grabbed the container I use for water… filled it slowly… and walked down the stairs.. gingerly… with my broken tailbone… fucked up knees (it was 5 degrees yesterday) … and broken toe… all of these things are a story of their own… that I am just plain tired of writing about… so use your imagination…

I opened the door to my paint room… I lit a candle… some incense .. plugged in the phone to a speaker… played my favorite genre off of Pandora… and I painted…

I took a  HUGE canvas I had received for Christmas from small child and just let myself blend the colors and cover the canvas… I had an idea of what I wanted this to be… but I felt the need to make the color so rich… and the paint so thick… that I wouldn’t be able to finish it…

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So I took another canvas that I had already painted the background of and practiced… here is the start of it… I will post it when it is finished… and then I will attempt to do something similar on the giant canvas… angeland I felt peace…

With every stroke of the brush… and every layer of color… I felt the stress and anxiety leave me… and lost track of time… and forgot about the pain…  It was truly a release through creativity… I intend to work on it again tonight.

UPDATED:

Still not done- but further along… also… completely unrelated… I love you people

angel

Jan 09 2013

… I can’t keep living this way.

Author: Kerry

I can’t keep living this way… If you have been a reader of this blog… you know sleep issues are a running theme. I am a lifelong insomniac… as well as a long time experiencing Adult Night Terrors individual… There is a lot that goes along with this that I do not share … Panic attacks over my sleeping environment being one of them (until now)… Also you know that I have recently in the past few years met … fell in love with… and married my Night Time Knight in shining armor… Mr. Amazing. (everything is appropriately back linked if you want the history 🙂 )

Something new in my sleep pattern is emerging as I continue down this road to happy destiny… And it is more disturbing to me personally than any of the above… I. Am. Sleeping. SOUNDLY… So soundly that last night Mr. Amazing came into the bedroom (he had too stay up late working from home) … OPENED the door… entered our bedroom… said my name twice… tried to shoe the dog from the bed… and in a tired exasperated state of mind gave up and went back to the couch and fell asleep…. In my life… as long as I can remember… I have NEVER slept through someone entering a room, a door opening or closing anywhere in where I am sleeping… I have NEVER slept through someone speaking in the room … or a dog climbing up on the bed…

45 minutes after his attempt to come to bed… I … as is my habit unfortunately… bolted up in bed… not finding him there… and the inexplicable rage that comes with a full blown panic attack… which comes from finding you are not in the circumstance you think you are while asleep… found myself in the living room yelling at him … he tried to explain what had happened (Public Service Announcement: No one should ever ever ever try to have rational conversations whilst in the grasps of recent sleep… because they are never rational) to which I responded with complete disbelief .. because I don’t do that… I don’t sleep through things… and I certainly don’t want to start… I lay awake (mostly) from that point on … in complete terror that it was possible (which is of course the truth). I had taken Advil pm… the lack of aches… and the added sleep… along with all the other healthy things taking place in my life… less energy drinks… less coffee… less insecurity… less instability… less depression… less nightmares… less sleepless nights… less worries… had finally caught up with me… We fumbled through amends this morning… he kept making them… when in reality… this is all me… this mess is mine… he just wants me to sleep… he just wants to me to know I am safe enough to really sleep that deeply… His intentions are so amazing… and through tears… I had to tell him that I am choosing to hang onto this one thing… for now… My sleep pattern… because it is like a life line… it is irrational… irresponsible… and unfair of me… but it is what I want… So I have been awake since the wee hours of this morning… and I have already downed one energy drink.. and I am moving onto coffee… Maybe one day… but not this day….

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Jan 09 2013

… Melting down…

Author: Kerry

You know when you break a vase and seamlessly glue it back together… but there is still that one chipped piece… So you display the vase with the chipped part facing the wall… so no one can see it…. People walk by and exclaim what a pretty vase and never see the chip because they don’t bother to turn the vase around… But you know it’s there… That… In reverse.
This is kinda how life feels sometimes.

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Jan 08 2013

… Ever been so out of touch that you don’t even know this about yourself?

Author: Kerry

Yeah… That happened, I thought I would take the cheat prompt this week… Not have to put a lot of thought into it… have been soooooooooo busy that I haven’t had time to really sit and write… sad… because this blog is the one thing that is truly me… that I do for myself and I honestly love it… so I grabbed the questions… and sat down to answer them…. and I didn’t know the answers… Have I even listened to a full album this year? I have not, I have not slowed down or connected to much of 2012… So this took a lot longer to write than I anticipated… because I have to do some of the things on the list… to actually get to know myself again… so I can share it with you

mama kats

  1. Favorite 2012 Movie: We are Movie Fanatics! We see a lot of them! I know it got a lot of criticism … but hands down… Les Mis
  2. Favorite Album: This morning I slowed down enough to listen to the Les Mis soundtrack … I loved it!
  3. Favorite Song:  Viva La Vida – Coldplay … Somethings just dont change 🙂 But I do post a theme song each week – if you want something a little different
  4. Favorite Tweeter: Nik & Erika’s Mom (She is my best friend – And is mostly who responds to my drunk new years eve tweets) 
  5. Favorite Blog: The Bloggess
  6. Favorite TV Show: Sunday Morning News!! Everything about it!! Lately Charles Osgood has been closing out the show playing the piano and singing…. he reminds me so much of my Grandfather (his voice, My grandpa loves to sing barbershop)
  7. Favorite Instagramer: AlJazeera Witness (Stunning)
  8. Favorite Moment: Putting on the red dress 🙂
  9. Favorite Conference: I did not attend any this year (Insert sad face here) I would LOVE to go to a few in 2013. NMX, SXSW, BBC.
  10. Favorite Viral Video: Okay – I don’t think this went too viral… But I laughed to tears… bahahaha… only because well… me and small child sing like this to the song…. and Mr. Amazing hates it.
Dec 18 2012

… What brings you joy?

Author: Kerry

 List the top 9 things that bring you joy.

mama kats

What brings you joy?

What a fantastic question at such an amazing time of year!

1- My Children

(The Tall – The Smalls – The Tiniest of all!)

2- Mr. Amazing

(Unless he lets a chicken hawk eat my kittens)

3- Love – In all of its amazing forms

(Friends – Family – Pets)

4- Art – In all of its amazing forms

(Photography – Paintings- Music)

5 -Being Alive- Nothing more or less.

(Everything is perfect)

6- The look of Christmas lights

(and the smell of chimney smoke on a winter night)

7- My sense of humour

( 🙂 – My Blog! )

8- Hitting the lights green on the way home

(Finding joy in simple things)

9- Wildflowers

(Seeing birds flying and the sun beaming down)

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