Oct 07 2014

… Magic Happened

Author: Kerry

Share a recent text exchange that made you laugh.

Mr. Amazing: Hello

Me: Hiya

Mr. Amazing: Did I directly or indirectly make you grumpy with me?

Me:Nope… Im not grumpy

Mr. Amazing: Okay, I love you

Me: I love you too

Mr. Amazing: you seemed grumpy, but it could have been my imagination

Me: I am always grumpy when sleeping… I butchered the shit out of my bangs this morning… thought you should know

Mr. Amazing: OMG – ROFL

Me: bahahahaha I should have cut them last night

Mr. Amazing: how bad are they?

Me: ummmm on a scale from 1 – 10? they are fucked up bahahaha I was on cold medicine, didnt have my contacts in, the mirror was foggy from the shower, I used house scissors… and magic happened

Mr. Amazing: OMG

Me: #everythingisawesome
Mr. Amazing:

LOL I loooove you!

Me: ROTFLMAO! They arent that bad
I mean… they are bad… but I didnt call into work and run to the salon or anything be nice or I will try to straighten them up with these scissors at my desk…. which I have also done before

Mr. Amazing:

Me:

Mr: Amazing : Straighter than a catholic priest, wait… straighter than that LOL, they are fine I was picturing a butcher job half way up your forehead, I was scared for you.

Oct 02 2014

Greetings October

Author: Kerry

List your top favorite things about Fall.

The crunch of leaves underfoot can be experienced just about everywhere.

Orange hues at sunset… on the leaves… the pumpkins… I love orange.

Caramel …. Caramel everything!

Hoodies!

Boots!

Sweaters and tights!

Scarves!

The sound of leaves crunching into the sidewalk as we walk.

The sound of my dog running through the leaves.

Pine cones!

Cinnamon!

Uggs!

Hot Coffee for me … Hot Chocolate for the smalls… hot tea for Mr. Amazing.

Driving through the canyon to see the walls of the canyon blazing in color.

Shorter Days!

The smell of the heater the first few times it fires up!

The first time you see your breath in the morning!

The Great Pumpkin – Charlie Brown!

I LOVE AUTUMN!

Sep 22 2014

Top 5 Embarrassing Moments….

Author: Kerry

List your top 5 embarrassing moments

Ha ha… well I have been in a bit of a self loathing mode lately… public humiliation seems to be a great way to round that off… I am a blogger because I have an endless supplies of stories to tell… and below is some of my best material that I have yet to turn into posts… one day I will do each of these things justice… these are probably not the most embarrassing… they are just what came to mind first… and they are not in any kind of chronological order… and are not ordered by the amount of embarrassment experienced… they are simply spilt out into the keyboard to make us all feel better about ourselves today… No matter where I am today… I am not in any of the places below… and for that I am grateful

1- Making Amends with the Barricade

I have shared the story about the time I almost blew up the kitchen… and that I didn’t understand how a vacuum worked… I dont often talk about what happened to get me in that halfway house… and I still wont… but I will say that something I decided to do whilst living there was make amends for some horrible things I had done… and I made some phone calls and I wrote some letters… and I took responsibility for my part of things… and I let go of things that weren’t mine… Oddly… one said thing was a barricade… you know the kind… Orange and white striped… flashing round light on top… I found the owner of Greenes construction company and returned the apartment decor I had been hauling around for about a year… Yeah.. That happened

2- “It gives me hope… and you cant put a price on hope”

28 years old… haven just given birth to my son… I lost 100 pounds.. ironically I had more to lose… and did not… also I gained about half of that back… but not before I starred in a weight loss commercial that aired on latenight TV for years for the supplement I used to help me… I would show it here… but I torched every copy of it in existence… Ever wonder about those ladies on the commercials? That happened.

3- Only 1 OSHA recordable that year…

I was on the safety committee for the company I worked for at the time… I flew to chicago for two weeks for training… at which point I was informed we had only one osha recordable that year… Some girl in Salt Lake City had fallen down a man hole…. unbeknownst to the trainer.. I was that girl… unfortunately… it was not unbeknownst to my colleagues… totally happened.

4- Ohhh There he is! do you want a mirror so you can see his head?

“IF YOU CAN SEE HIS HEAD… THEN YOU CAN GET HIM OUT OF ME… PULL HIM OUT!”

I could not make this shit up.

5 – Let’s do the timewarp again

During my divorce… I struggled alot… sometimes I drank those struggles away… One time I drank them and rallied my entire mormon neighborhood at 4 am to do the TimeWarp on my front lawn….

Some other time remind me to tell you the story about the time I camped out on Robert Englund’s lawn until he asked me to leave… I have a thing for Freddy…

Sep 10 2014

Alone.

Author: Kerry

Write about what it was like to live on your own for the first time.

I transitioned from my teen years into what I considered … and the state considered adulthood…. in a halfway house… Even though I was sharing a womans dorm with 5 woman (some fresh out of prison) I surely was on my own… I was the only one responsible for myself… but I don’t suppose that really counts… From there I rented the unfinished basement in my families home… I had my own entrance and my own car… again though… does not really qualify… shortly after that I entered the 18 year marriage that gave me small child… and again felt like I was living in someone elses home the entire time… We separated for 9 months prior to our divorce… I even changed the locks… but I still had small child and tall child in my care… or I in theirs … and we made yet another attempt at our home together… however short lived that was… true aloneness didn’t set in until we finally filed for divorce… Tall child was in the dorms… and small child went for his first overnight visit with his father. I remember thinking I was 32 years old and for the first time ever… I was on my own.

After having spent so much of my life fending for myself, and being in so many other peoples homes (I bounced around alot as a teenager), honestly I had been more lonely in a room full of people than I ever felt when alone… you would think I would have been more prepared…

I could not stay in the house… I drove for 6 hours.. clear through the night until I was able to get small child back from his father and dreaded the next week when it would happen again… It did happen again… I slowly moved into drinking my way through his time with his father… ironically we divorced due to his fathers drinking and addictions… luckily I didnt use that coping method very long… I soon moved into throwing away anything that I didnt like in the house… and finally getting to really know myself… I chose my type of music to play when I did house work… I rearranged the furniture in a way I liked it better… I decorated with art that I saved up for and picked out myself… I painted… my god I painted so much… I joined a womans circle… I began to date after some time passed… I did that trip around the block… Thoroughly.

Funny how just as I finally learned how to be alone… and less self destructive… I remarried.

But that is a whole different subject.

Being on your own.. and being alone are two very different things in my book… I am glad I am not on my own… but I could do some more alone 🙂

Aug 11 2014

Condolences to the world…

Author: Kerry

Depression is such an asshole… Addiction is it’s lover… they go hand in hand as they travel through seas of “cheer up” “Just think positive” “Pray” and “What do you have to be depressed about”‘s … Reveling in a sadness and despondency that actually physically aches… wishing for anything to make it stop….I was shocked to hear about Robin Williams this evening… I was even more shocked at how deeply saddened I was… Like everyone else I feel like I have known him my entire life… I grew up with Mork and Mindy… I made it through some of the hardest parts of my teenage years with Dead Poets Society… Patch Adams made my year… I so deeply loved What Dreams May Come… regardless of its reviews about being depressing and strange… I thought it was so beautiful…. I LOVED him in insomnia, already being a Stephen King fan… when you add Robin Williams to that recipe I was in heaven… I raised my small and tall on Flubber, Aladin, Jumanji and ofcourse Hook! Toys was another one kinda unknown and I adored it… I decided to divorce my smalls father based on the line in Mrs Doubtfire “I do not like who I am when I am with you”… and like everyone else, though I didn’t know him, all I knew were these characters, I loved him.

My Heart is broken for his family… I have no words for how sorry I am for them and their loss….

Money, Fame, Fortune, Awards… Not enough… So when you wish for something outside of you to make you happy… realize it does not.

And most of all…. if you are hurting… if you are alone… if you are not safe… Please get help…

Suicide Prevention Hotlines: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines … Please share.

You do not know what demons people have to fight

Aug 06 2014

Mothers Curse? I think not.

Author: Kerry

What grade is your child going to be in?

Share a memory you have of yourself at that same age

Sophomore… he is going to be a freaking Sophomore…. Kill me dead…

I paid the registration fees this week… I almost killed over then and there… I took him to get his learners permit… which he failed… ha! Well… So did I the first time… and that is exactly where our similarities end…

My Sophomore year… I lost my virginity… I had already experimented in every known substance invented at the time…and continued to do so… I smoked camel cigarettes… I had half my head shaved and the half that still had hair was a strange blend of black and purple… with my blonde roots poking through it… I wore clothes with bullet holes in them and safety pins… I owned and lived in combat boots… I drew thick black lines around my eyes and powdered my face with white makeup… I owned and used liberally black lipstick…I frightened small children … I am giggling as I type this… I listened only to Depeche Mode, The Cure, OMD, Eurasure, Sex Pistols, Pink Floyd… and the sound track to Phantom of the Opera…I was taken out of the school that year… twice… by ambulance.

My Small is enrolled in Musical Theater, He is playing the Viola in the Orchestra, His favorite music is from the 50’s or The Beatles, Johnny Cash, The Eagles, CCR, Three Dog Night… Everything I had never even heard of until he began to really discover his flavor of life. He has more manners in his little finger than I do in my entire being… and yet I keep taking the accolades for having such a polite young man… when the truth is he has taught me more about manners than I ever have him.

The mothers curse is such a common joke on social media… maybe my mother didn’t speak to me enough to utter the words… but I am screaming mine from the roof tops!

I HOPE HE HAS CHILDREN JUST LIKE HIM!

Smallest child is entering 3rd grade… 3rd graders tend to be assholes…I do not remember 3rd grade at all… but I will hold out the speaking of the curse words until her Sophomore year… just to be fair… because she is definitely JUST LIKE Mr. Amazing… I would assume his mother cursed him multiple times.

Jul 17 2014

Pure Joy…

Author: Kerry

You have brought me nothing but pure joy since that very first moment… Watching you grow… absorbing the world around you… inquisitive and delighted to learn… I’m reminded each day of the miracles you bring into my world.

As all mothers do… I have goals… dreams and wishes for you

Don’t ever apologize for who you are, for what you want, for how hard you have worked or where you are going in life. I don’t doubt you will work hard… but I can already see signs that you are quick to apologize… to back down. Don’t. You have learned this from me and I wish I could take it back… Stand your ground… be proud of you. Do not live to make others happy or to measure up to someone else’s expectations… Be Johnathon. This is enough.

I wish for the kind heart I see you in now to stay firmly in place… Keep it, nurture it, handle it with care. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are too sensitive… You are the first to hold your step sister’s hand when she is scared… the first to run for the ice pack when someone is hurt… the first to panic when people fight because the fighting for no reason is perplexing to you… I couldn’t live without your affection and kindness.

Seek joy… Pure Joy… Every single day, find something that makes you happy and do it. Be it big or small – an act of kindness, listening to a song you love, calling a friend – it quite simply doesn’t matter. What matters is that you spend a portion of each day smiling and laughing.

Your dreams: do them. Your heart: follow it… Your family: treasure them… Your friends: be loyal to them… Your fears: embrace them and allow them to make you stronger… The money you earn: respect it… Your passion: LIVE IT.

I will always call you bug… buddy… neenerfan… angel boy. I am so proud to call you my son.

Today I am going to take you to attempt to get your learners permit and I am going to put you behind the wheel of a car… I feel like there is an energy… a force in you that I cannot slow down… or contain… I miss your small face… but your deep voice is such a sense of pride for me… you are such a fine young man. Happy Birthday my baby…. and many more.

Jul 14 2014

8 is great!

Author: Kerry

Watching you grow into the young girl that you are has been an amazing journey and I know that I am a huge part of that… I do not do this to win your affection … I do it because I love you with every part of my heart.

It’s amazing to me that you’re so grown up now… You are 8 already… Our 6.5 years flash before my eyes pretty regularly… looking back now your personality is still as precocious as it was from day one… yet you love so much more than I ever imagined you would I am convinced of this watching you attending to your sister with more heart than I thought you had…. You love so fiercely

My wish for you this year is simple… I hope that you always allow your wonderful self to shine… Do not let others tell you how to act or who to be… Do not let others let you waiver from your own path… Above all else… do not let anyone make you feel anything other than amazing… You are intelligent… sincere… empathetic… giving… creative… and oh so beautiful… I know that you have been blessed with everything you need in life to succeed and find happiness… This world is an amazing and challenging place… It is yours to savor… and navigate… Live each day with a sense of gratitude … I will be beside you every step of the way… I will hold your hand… cheer you on… pick you up… and watch you discover all that it means to be you… I love you pretty facey.

Jul 01 2014

Maleficent and Movement

Author: Kerry

Share your top favorite photo you took in June. Give us the back story

A lot of changes came our way in June… we did some rearranging of our lives… and rearranging of some furniture. Small Child decided he was tired of being small… and moved into the finished basement… and made himself a Man Cave…. When he proposed this I figured the best way out of it was to tell him he had to do it all himself… Within 24 hours the toy room had been moved into my paint room… my paint room had been moved into the bedroom next to mine … finally removing himself from it and down into what was originally the toy room. This is not a small amount of furniture… he moved wardrobes, book shelves, dressers and all their contents…. sigh… and left me…

During this movefest smallest child asked for more time with us… and we took the appropriate actions to make that happen… We have her more sleeps… but some of the waking time is less… I am pretty sure only people who go through visitation and custody battles will get this… the change is hard but we are going into a 5 sleep stretch starting today… and I am so glad…

All of this is the back story to this photo… I found some time to paint… Smallest child has requested paintings for the Toy Room decor… The very best part about painting is not caring how they turn out… I paint for the motion of painting… for the soul soothing color blending music listening aroma therapy infusing experience…. and it doesn’t matter the outcome… I have the coolest fan club in the world

My Malificent Shadow

Jun 19 2014

Dead Animals & Fathers Day

Author: Kerry

Something your family did to celebrate Father’s Day.

We looked at dead animals… Normally this isn’t something I would blog about… and I would not normally blog about what we did on Fathers Day either… separately they are a little too educational and unimpressive for a blog post…. but when combined… I suppose I feel like it is just freaky enough to qualify for a post… So here it is!

Before you believe I am lacking in the tact department… or better yet… Completely heartless….

It was super educational and fascinating… and a day at the museum on a Sunday is somewhat our “thing”

Some parts of the exhibit might have been a bit creepy for us… this exhibit was bound to start some interesting… thought-provoking conversations with our kids. The human skeleton… with all its attachments… well… attached… it was a man… elicited some laughter from small child… Smallest child just kept asking to see the butts…. Otherwise… no nightmares were reported… (I copied the following paragraph of info from the Leonardo’s website… hence the big words and lack of ellipses)

The animals on display have been preserved via plastination, a process which replaces fluids with plastics. The plastination process is also able to “peel back” layers of the featured animals, revealing intricate blood vessel, muscle and digestive systems, giving viewers a unique view into the spectacular biological systems that rule nature. You’ll have the chance to sneak inside a rabbit’s brain and catch a shark frozen in action. (All of the animals featured died of natural causes – so no animals were harmed as this exhibit was created.)

This chic wasn’t on display… or this blog post would have read entirely different… and probably have been more entertaining.

smiffbib

socially acceptable f@#% off!

StoryTelling

… Magic Happened

Greetings October

Top 5 Embarrassing Moments….

Alone.

Condolences to the world…

Mothers Curse? I think not.

Pure Joy…

8 is great!

Maleficent and Movement

Dead Animals & Fathers Day