Oddities

Uhhhh Just because Im like that

Nov 01 2013

Right in the parts!

Author: Kerry

Mr. Amazing: I don’t get paid for a while Kerry
and I think it’s important that you know that I want a keyboard
me: ROTFL!
Mr. Amazing: It makes me sad inside
me: Im sorry you are sad inside.
Mr. Amazing: in my sad because I can’t have a toy part of my body
me: I have learned one thing with you… When you get the toy… you just get sad over the next thing you want
Mr. Amazing: LOL… I really wish that I could deny that
me: But you cant
Mr. Amazing: I could be disingenuous and say that it’s all lies…and that toy “x” would make me whole my favorite toys are my nixie clock and that lamp sitting in a box
me: I remember… your life long dream… and the passion you had for getting it… you had wanted it your whole life…
Mr. Amazing: just thought you should know
me:  and now its buried in junk on your dresser
Mr. Amazing:it makes me sad in the “I want my clock to be pretty” part of my body
me: “Look at these tubes kerry… they were made in the cold war”
Mr. Amazing: They were… Just sayin’ and in the early part of the cold war not the Reagan Gorbachev shaking hands pretty phase of the relationship
me: ROTFLMAO!
Mr. Amazing: Your laughter hurts me in the “you don’t like my petty toys” part of my body
me: Its a good thing you have all these parts…. do you have the Oh god she is rolling her eyes at me and its killing me part too? because that happened
Mr. Amazing: yeah… I felt a twinge that was a lot like that a few seconds ago … it was either that or gas… but I am pretty sure it was that
and it was painful
and I could feel a tear swelling in the corner of my eye
and then a co-worker was about to walk by, so I forced the tear back in
me: LOL! Man up tear ducts!
Mr. Amazing: man up… man up… sad tear ducts…deep down I know you are laughing at me…. not with me
me: ROTFLMAO! Right at you… at your parts
Mr. Amazing: deep down in the “she’s mocking me” part of my body it’s hurting me right in the feelings
me: Where is the “Oh God she is going to blog this” part of your body… because Im laughing at it now
Mr. Amazing: It’s right next to my central shame center… It’s part of my Central Anxiety System

TEN MINUTES LATER

Mr Amazing:  Kerry… I love Mac OS X

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Oct 01 2013

The Cookie Wife…

Author: Kerry
mama kats Share a Fall recipe that you’re loving this season.
Soooo I don’t really cook… or bake… But I do love me some fall recipes… So let me let you in on a little secret I have… It’s kind of a magical thing…. I live in Utah… Where not only do plural marriages have a reputation of being practiced… but some of the best baking happens! So I did the only logical thing I could do …. I took a cookie wife! You heard me right!

 

me:  <Yawn/stretch/puts an arm over her shoulder move/Drops Recipe in lap>

Cookie Wife:  Aren’t you hilarious???

me:  Smoooooth… I believe the word you were looking for is smooth

Cookie Wife:  Or subtle…

me:  Bahahaha!

Cookie Wife:  Guess what is the best thing ever??

me: ??

Cookie Wife:  Maple blueberry sausage!!! I’ll bet I could make it just as yummy with ground turkey!

me: MMMMMMMMMMMMMM I wanna eat it all!

Cookie Wife:  I made blueberry pancakes, maple blueberry sausage, crock pot hash brown scrambled eggs & juice & milk.

me:  … Small Child ate at school … I ate a leftover taco time bean burrito.

 

HAPPY OCTOBER EVERYONE!!!

October

Sep 25 2013

Shoe Tree… Park City, Utah

Author: Kerry

Shoes

Stumbled across this tree this past weekend… Fascinated we spun around and drove past again so I could get a picture! I LOVE THIS! Just for the sheer craziness of it!

Decided to Google it to get the story behind it and found myself quite touched with what I found

“A Shoe Tree has existed in the location for decades, people who have lived in Park City for that long say. There are various legends about who started throwing shoes into the branches. Several people who moved to Park City in the mid-1970s say the Show Tree predates their arrival in the city.

One of the prevailing legends holds that the Shoe Tree resulted from some sort of drunken fisticuffs. Someone might have thrown another person’s shoes into the tree, causing a fight, goes one legend. The shoes were thrown into the tree after the fight, another variation holds.

Another story that has been told involves a 1970s veteran of the Vietnam War who, having returned to the U.S., threw his shoes into the tree in celebration of being back in his home country.

Jeffery Novelle, who has lived in Park City since 1964 and now lives in Old Town, says he is well aware of beginnings of the Shoe Tree. Novelle was the first person to put shoes into the tree, he says.

Novelle recalls it being either 1969 or 1970 and his brother, a Vietnam War veteran by that time, was in town. He and his brother were walking up a tiny dirt road called Easy Street that ran through the area at the time. His brother was wincing from the pain of blisters on his heels, Novelle says, recalling that he suggested his brother take off the combat boots that were bothering him and put his feet into the nearby creek for relief.

The brother removed the boots. Novelle took them, tied them together and hurled them into a tree. They left them there. Within 1 1/2 years, people threw tennis shoes, ski boots, sandals and moccasins onto the branches, Novelle says. His brother’s combat boots remained hanging in the Shoe Tree for at least four or five years, he says.

“I thought the city would come and say this isn’t right, you’ve got to take them down,” Novelle says. “I’m surprised it’s still there.””

 

Sep 23 2013

Its the finer things…. really.

Author: Kerry

WARNING- THIS MAY ONLY BE FUNNY TO THE SLEEP DEPRIVED.

me:  I should grocery shop tonight…I so way don’t even want to!

Mr. Amazing:  I am really sorry (it’s what I say now right?)

me:   it’s cool… It just means you are getting fried chicken and potato logs for dinner

Mr. Amazing:   🙁

me:  So if that doesn’t sound good for dinner… what does

Mr. Amazing: Sounds good = tomatoes and cucumbers in vinegar with fancy cheese and crackers

me:  Oohhhh That sounds yummy… What else should I be buying… I gotta be honest… my head is not in the game… I don’t even know what that means

Mr. Amazing:   I was laughing when I read that  I imagined the announcer voice… “oooh Kerry’s heads not in the game, what d’ya think Chuck” “Well Bill, Kerry normally scores in the high 300s, today may be a down day.” “Well Chuck let’s hope that she can find the groove as she heads down to the frozen foods section”

me:  Really… I just pictured me standing in the middle of the fruit and veggie sections screaming FUMBLE! Wanna do some potatoes again?

Mr. Amazing:   lol, that sounds good

me:  What else sounds good…You be in charge dammit!

Mr. Amazing:  dammit- clam chowder in sourdough bread bowls

me:  Ohhhh that sounds good

Mr. Amazing:  spaghetti with beef tips and veggies in spicy sauce with aged mozzarella, capers and olives

me:  Uhhhhhhhh

Mr. Amazing:   with rosemary bread on the side

me:  BAHAHAHAHA! That’s the funniest shit you have said all day…I say fuck this whole shopping idea, we are eating at 7-11… Slurpee’s for dessert?

Mr. Amazing:  cannolis stuffed with spiced sausage and spices with noodles and marinara with myzithra cheese

me:  <headdesk>

Mr. Amazing:  with pistachio cheesecake and raspberry sauce

me:  Meow

Mr. Amazing:  and…

me:  You should have married your cookie wife if you didn’t want to eat at 7-11 for dinner

Mr. Amazing:   hand trimmed steaks marinated in lime chili sauce with rice and veggies in a light cheese/butter sauce with some sparkling spumante grape juice and some ice cream on top of homemade peach pie for desert

there, done… any other questions?

me:  Okay… Crack head… Taquitos then?

Mr. Amazing: :  ROFLMAO or you should get a super awesome job and I will stay home and cook and hire a maid to clean

me:  YOU should! I will stay home and boss her around… The maid

Mr. Amazing:   Like a BOSS

me:  She will have to cook too

Mr. Amazing:   lemon blueberry cheesecake with marscapone and whipped cream and lemon zest on top

me:  No Slurpee for you! you ingrate!

Mr. Amazing:  okay, okay I want a Slurpee and an all beef hot dog

me:  ROTFLMAO! I am not really going to 7-11 But I love that you settled … on dinner… on life… you know… in general

Mr. Amazing:  like I am going to lose my Slurpee

me:  BAHAHAHA!  Its the finer things in life that get us through

Mr. Amazing:   yes, like wine flavored soda pop

me: Exactly!

UPDATED – What he came home too:

download

Aug 23 2013

Thanks for checking on me Facebook…

Author: Kerry

ha ha! its been so long since I’ve posted… Facebook is asking me if I am okay in a private message… Sorry Facebook… just busy at my day job! Next week for sure! I miss you desperately… but you know that old saying…. SMIFFBIB!

Aug 08 2013

Right here… still… waiting for you :)

Author: Kerry

mama kats                        The first concert you ever attended.

 

I think I was about 15 years old… those years are fuzzy… and I am old… I was sitting on a grassy hill… under the stars in beautiful Park City, Utah… wondering if people around me were smoking pot or dancing in a mosh pit somewhere like I had heard about… But somehow I just don’t think that was happening here…

People swayed … Girls cried…. I’m sure more than one mullet got laid that night.

We ate at McDonalds on the way home… living the dream people… living the dream…

I think tar and feathers are an appropriate punishment.

I accept this.

Aug 01 2013

Meet the tallest :)

Author: Kerry

I don’t write often about Tallest Child… Because she is all growed up… and out on her own with the tiniest of all child… cooking another one in her belly!

But this weeks writing prompt only could be dedicated to her… because well… ha! she was freaking stuck!!

mama kats

 “A time somebody got stuck”

Heather

This is my baby girl… My daughter… and if you have been reading for a while her stories are intertwined with mine through out… I write about her on Mothers Day cause I’m her mama dammit! I shared my angels girls story of her angel… (with her permission) … because I was so proud of her… She brings me joy … She is part of every humorous story I share about small child growing up in fact… she was a key part to smiffbib even being created… I’m sure there are a million more tall child stories on here… but I’ve linked in a lot if you want some history on this beautiful woman pictured above… My god I love her… and how we show our love? By embarrassing the shit out of her!

“A time somebody got stuck”

She was standing on the stairs that went upstairs, I was standing in the kitchen below her in a Romeo and Juliet almost moment… I say almost because we aren’t Romeo and Juliet… and then… without really understanding why… she decided to shove her knee into the metal bars of the banister… you know… to see if it fit…. She stood there nonchalantly for a moment… trying to slide it back out… but after a few minutes began to panic… We (The smalls father and I) took a few minutes to laugh hysterically… trying to push her … and pull her knee… before I began to panic!… I start thinking the fire department is going to have to come and cut her out of this thing… when the father type figure had a genius idea…. Butter! you should use butter to get out of these kinds of things… and I run to the fridge…. no butter…. BUT! we own butter flavored Pam… which is really the same thing… sprayed her knee… and rescued her from its clutches…Never to be lived down again…

heatherandbabyPsst… Tallest Child… you know about the mothers curse right?.. those Tinys are gonna make for some great stories!!!

Jul 31 2013

Nectar of the Gods… Wordless Wednesday

Author: Kerry

They should pay me for this shit…. instead… they treat me like any other Jamba Juice crack addict… and sell me another one… this was dinner last night 🙂

Jamba

But the best thing this is… ha ha… your looking at it…Who would have thought someone would look at my jamba juice… and Yes, thats my kitchen counter…. it is as fabulous as it looks 🙂