Too Much

mama kats Something you have too much of…

I used to have too much hair… but it is slowly thinning out as I age… Nothing else thins out… just so we are clear… I have too much thigh… too much stomach… but that is okay… It makes me hard to kidnap… which I worry about way too much.

One might also suggest (one=me … without wanting to sound like I am complaining) Too much laundry… too much housework… too much time on the interwebs… too much nagging the smalls… too much advil… too much running through my head… too much eating out… Too many sweets… Too much laying awake at night.

Too Much is my middle name really… When it boils down to it.. the only thing I really have too much of is anxiety.

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Time to spend too much time in my room filled with too much paint… and light way too much incense.. and light too many candles… and play too much music… and eat too much indian food… and watch too much Harry Potter… wear my pajamas too much…  too much wine… no….and let go just enough.

Fat Tuesday on Funday Friday :)

Technically this is just a bunch of Gibberish… but it makes me laugh… really there are even two morals to this story…. Bread and Butter Pickles are Nasty…. and Mr Amazing swears a lot when lacking sleep.

Mr. Amazing:  today is dragging so bad that the day itself is literally sad

me:  Its so sad its comfort eating… that is why its Fat Tuesday

Mr. Amazing:  Fat Tuesday is literally a giant horrible sad monster baby crying for it’s mama

me:  and its mama is a doughnut!

Mr. Amazing: literally

me:  I want one

Mr. Amazing:  I literally went out on a limb with that one

me:  Bahahaha

Mr. Amazing: irregardless of the mama doughnut

me:  We should get doughnuts

Mr. Amazing: LOL I am figuratively a horrible person

me:  You are full of all the words

Mr. Amazing:  irregardless literally bothers me to death

me:  Your words make me wanna throat punch you

Mr. Amazing:  so does “aint’ got none”

me:  OH OH! how about “Aint nobody gots time fo dat!”

Mr. Amazing: one doughnut and a side of pithy sarcasm

me:  instead- I am feeding you a hot dog for dinner… and your gonna like it

Mr. Amazing:  use gonna like it

me:  With chips on the side- I am literally not cooking shit

Mr. Amazing:good, because I really, really, really want to avoid you literally cooking shit

me:  BAHAHAHA

Mr. Amazing:  in fact, compared to literal shit, hot dogs seem pretty okay

me:  Thats why I present it that, we helps with expectations

Mr. Amazing: Yes, thanks for lower my expectations to a reasonable (if not menial) level

me:  I have hotdog buns… its a gourmet meal

Mr. Amazing: Oh yeah!

me:  I dont even wanna eat the hot dogs

Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO Hows about with pickles and sauerkraut

me:  Maybe with Sauerkraut but… even then im not so sure… maybe smothered in Nacho Cheese

Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO that sounds nasty

me:  I like cheese (Stating the obvious is my super power)

Mr. Amazing: General Obvious?

me:  Ahem… Captain….Obviously

Mr. Amazing:  Fine… Captain Obvious I got paid!

me:  OH! (We still have to eat the hotdogs, or the buns will go stale)

Mr. Amazing:  Okay But we can have dessert…. <evil laughter>

me:  LOL! Actually- If you send me money… I might really go buy Saurkraut

Mr. Amazing:  OMG – Day… Fucking END

me:  14 minutes

Mr. Amazing: Seriously, I am about to BITCH slap FAT Tuesday

me:  ROTFLMAO!!! I CANNOT believe you just said that

Mr. Amazing:  I am laughing at my desk like an idiot

me:  Ditto

Mr. Amazing: Kerry… I can’t stop

me:  Do you want chili for your hot dogs? You need sleep

Mr. Amazing:  I want mustard

me:  we have mustard

Mr. Amazing: and pickles

me:  Uhhhh Im not sure where we are the pickle front

Mr. Amazing: cuz I think the we have the… “It’s a TRAP!!!”

pickles in the fridge the bread and butter tastes like shit evil pickles of doom

Fuck you Bread n’ Butter pickles… Fuck you….

 me:  ROTFLMAO! Gimme your monies! I will buy you pickles… and destroy the enemy ones

Frozen: Letting Go

I know.. .I know! Believe me I know that I shouldn’t waste my time getting drawn into this… I know that it is energy spent on something that shouldn’t be given… I read it yesterday… much like everyone else I would assume… and at first I laughed… Then my irritation grew… and as the day wore on I just couldn’t shake it… the words had settled in my skin… and my least favorite feeling in this myriad of emotions I go through is shame… I was ashamed of my friend who shared it on Facebook voicing her agreement (this is how I came across it to begin with, before it was ever picked up by the local media) … I was embarrassed to be living in Utah… where not only is this popular opinion but it was picked up by the media… Every fiber was annoyed… by the name of the blog… and every hateful word typed out… I am not going to counter her opinions… I just figured I would do a little review and opinionating of my own…. you know… from a well behaved person that has not lost her ever loving mind to hate and paranoia.

Frozen: Letting Go

Let me paraphrase… The movie opens with these two adorable sisters… laughing and playing in the snow and ice created by the eldest Elsa … Surely this is dark magic right? Sorcery? Witchcraft? don’t you worry… its a Disney Movie… and its JUST A STORY…  I saw it five times… Its full of dark magic and sorcery… and death… and treason… trolls who adopt the poor guy with apparently poor personal hygiene  being raised by a reindeer… but the poor guy with the Swedish accent it surely the problem… Oh that and the fact that the girl… who DOESN’T FEEL THE COLD takes of her repressive cape that she had to wear for a coronation is being considered to sex it up… hey hey… who am I to judge… I’m sure the people taking issue with this also wear these swim suits… and I’m cool with that…

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My favorite part of the movie is the Let it Go sequence… as I am sure anyone with a 7 year old knows… it is catchy… and dramatic… and the graphics are beautiful… and everyone is covering it!! (See my Themesong Thursday Post)

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the Queen.

Queen of isolation… I get that… Trapped by expectations

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried

Storm inside… raging emotions… Okay, I don’t have snow flakes sprinkling from my fingertips… but I am relating to this chic.

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know

Ahhh sweet sweet emancipation… from worrying about what others think of me… from judgement… and cruel words.

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door

I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Freedom from fear… self confidence… self discovery… Fantastic!

Let it go, let it go

Let go of the negative… hey smallest child… I hope you memorize each and every word of it!

I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry

Ha ha! okay okay… crying is okay… even if people see it… but not “You” not the people that I am letting go of… not the people that wanted me to be someone I am not

Sing sing sing… lots more words… storm rages on… etc

You get the idea… I take absolutely no offense to someone shedding what was forced upon them and coming to their own opinions, aspirations, dreams and I will cheer on my children whether it is at their graduation from college… or a pole dancing competition (please please let it not be pole dancing… so awkward)

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and so… in conclusion… if you have to take some moral to what is really just an awesome story with fantastic music and stunning visuals… take this… Love is unconditional… Sisters before Misters…. also… reindeer raise gentlemen… Braids are sexy and trolls are love experts…. That is all

SO someone needs to explain to me how she gets from cryokinetic power to same-sex attraction?

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OH! and someone better tell their kids… whether oaken likes men or not (which I don’t understand why that is relevant when he is just selling some damn carrots) that a Swedish accent isn’t required for someone to be gay… they can choose that for themselves… and they will be accepted and loved and keep their voice 🙂

Frozen-oaken

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…. Unless it is a Mantis Shrimp

From the depths of January… I bring you this… That Honey Badger who don’t care? I would like to introduce him to the Mantis Shrimp

“Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff”…. Great advice passed on from a dear friend of mine… her second favorite back up line to all of this is “It’s all small stuff”… I try… I do … I try to not let little things get to me…But Sometimes the small stuff gangs up on you! Sometimes that small thing is this little guy!!!

HOLY SHIT!

And THIS!

And from my favorite credible source of all time… THIS!

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Winter in our neck of the woods…

We enjoyed the break between Christmas and New Years as a family… part of that time believe it or not was spent outdoors… Even us big kids joined in … bahahaha so the funny thing about this post is… as I started to type this I thought MY GOD… I’m writing a normal post! that never ever happens! I’m sharing normal family winter fun… I open the pictures on this cute little mac and they are all turned the right direction… and BOOM … I am normal!!! I load them into wordpress… and well…. here you go… I swear… just tilt your damn head.

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This post is brought to you by the letters M and K and the number 1

MamaKats is number 1!!

mama kats

Death of the Stache

mama katsCapture a conversation shared between kids.

I am cheating… lets just get that out of the way right now… because there is a conversation that happened tonight … between Small Child and Mr. Amazing (Who I understand technically is not a  kid… but he plays video games… and makes up song lyrics about pooping… and twerks … so I rest my case) … and I am going to have to paraphrase a bit… even though this took place only an hour and a half ago… memories get sketchy under great duress… so you get the following

Mr Amazing: Dude, that stache has got to go… Like tonight… I can’t let you go to school again with that on your face… I will get one of your moms razors and some soap and do it if I have too

Small Child: REALLY? Because she won’t let me shave!!

Me: <Nothing because I am DYING INSIDE>

Mr Amazing: He needs to shave it tonight

Small Child: I’ll get the shaving kit!

Tall child gave him this as a gift when he was 12 much to his delight, and much to my dismay, which I promptly took away and “hid” in the top of the hall closet, apparently not fooling anyone because he got it right away

Mr Amazing: You have to charge it first

Small Child flips the switch and it buzz’s to life… assholes.

Mr Amazing: Curl your lip like this and go up and down over it until you get all the hair off

Small Child: Does it hurt?

Mr Amazing: No, its just like getting a hair cut

Small Child: I’m Nervous!

He walks into the bathroom, does the weird poke his lip out wrapping it around his teeth face at the mirror and begins BUTCHERING my very SOUL… I hear the hair cutting from his face… that I had been properly ignoring for the last 30 days or so… as the “peach fuzz” turned  brown and no matter how many times I told him to wash his face it just wouldn’t come off

Mr Amazing: You missed a spot!!

Small Child: Did I get it?

Mr Amazing: Hold still … gimme that…

Small Child: I got this!

More buzzing

Mr Amazing: There! Looks much better!

Small Child: Can I use aftershave

AFTER SHAVE??? HE HAS AFTER SHAVE??? Apparently he does! Because he comes back all man smelling.

Me: We are celebrating this manhood with Gingerbread shakes!

Translation: Im eating my feelings… with a Gingerbread Shake!

THE END (of my story, and the conversation, and my sanity and HIS CHILDHOOD! Dammit)

Stach

What’s in a name? Ask Urban Dictionary

mama kats

The meaning of your name…does it suit you?

I had never researched what my name meant…  and when I did… I was unimpressed… unimpressed that is until I decided that the Urban Dictionary might have a little bit more information…..

1. Kerry
A beautiful girl who excels in multiple facets of life. She is extremely attractive and desired by all. Some may even describe her as a goddess.
Well… There really isn’t much to argue with there… I mean… desired by all might be a bit of a stretch… might…
2. Kerry
 a graceful, perfect girl in every possible way. Goddess of the universe and most likely is that girl in your “awkward” thoughts. Perfect bodied and almost always turns out to be an amazing director! Usually, guys try to sneak into her apartments at night, but sadly, the cops catch them halfway there, but the next day they are out of jail so it’s all good.
Sooooo That was oddly specific… and creepy  honestly… excuse me whilst I go and check to be sure all my windows and doors are locked… although that is the second time the word Goddess has been used… just stating the obvious.
3. Kerry
A name for a generous, beautiful, passionate, kind, sweet, and amazing girl. Some people would kneel and bow down to her, as if she were a goddess. Men often fall head over heels in love with her.
Ohhh I like the sound of that… Huh… there are 14 pages of meanings for my name on this website…
4. Kerry
Dark haired warrior and clitoral master with the largest penis on world record.
I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried! I’m just not that creative… But I do have dark hair… So… There’s that.
Kerry = Hoodie Wearing Goddess of laying down in bed blogging... Look it up!

Kerry = Hoodie Wearing Goddess of laying down in bed blogging… Look it up!