Oddities

Uhhhh Just because Im like that

May 21 2012

Ring of fire Solar Eclipse … 5 Eclipse Myths… and some moral integrity!

Author: Kerry

We are fortunate enough to live in the path of this years solar eclipse… Mr amazing stood in line at the local planetarium for 45 minutes to get us glasses… They were completely sold out… by the end of the day….

This image was actually captured with Mr Amazing’s cell phone… through the glasses film… from our driveway… 

I know that in our days, eclipses aren’t a big mystery — they occur when the moon passes between Earth and the sun. But imagine what they used to think!! Throughout history, the sun’s significance, along with its mysteriousness, have yielded an array of solar myths… There are five… Really cool myths about eclipses on  livescience.com

And you can read about those… and see a million beautiful eclipse pictures on the front page of every newspaper and magazine today… But something getting a lot less coverage is 75,000 people converging on Chicago yesterday for the NATO protest was also pretty amazing…. Just felt it was my moral obligation to make sure you know about both


May 09 2012

… Wednesday… I have decided to scalp you

Author: Kerry

NO ONE TOLD ME that yesterday was not Wednesday.. No one said a word as I tweeted and posted proudly my #wordlesswednesday post! I had been holding onto that little gem for over a week! No one said a word…

THEN the Bloggess took the only thing I love more than her… Which of-course is Harry Potter… and made it a Rodent… a Dead one… in badly tailored clothes…   and I felt my sanity walking on a tightrope without an umbrella…. for the love of god! … Fine Fine… I love her more than Harry Potter… But if she fucks with coffee… its over

BUT THEN… Well… . Wil Wheaton’s cat got a damn twitter account… And I followed it… and then it was too good for my linens….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But he said it wasn’t my linens.. it was my cat.. and he is probably right… because my cat is a jackass…

But whether my linens are good enough for the cat or my cat is an ass…

I knew the end had come… So I prepared a meal from my “Things I don’t love anyone enough to make 🙂 “ Pinterest board…

and entered my Second Wednesday of the week… Pray for me…

 

 

 

May 05 2012

Cinco de Mayo… The day that gets me!… Alt Titled: the 5 Best things to hit with a stick!

Author: Kerry

I now bring you the 5 coolest things  to hit with a stick!

1- This is awarded the Geek Pinata award

2- Coolest pinata ever! Scared to death of these things as a Child… Would love to beat it with a stick!
3 – Enough said 🙂 Arrrgh!!

4 – The Yo Gabba Gabba Pinata is placed here in honor of every toddler tv show I have suffered here, it could alternately be Dora, Blue, Bob, or lala

5 – Yeah… My Ass 🙂

Apr 25 2012

Zipper Trivia… just the word… not the actual mechanism…

Author: Kerry

G-Chat conversation.

Mr Amazing: so bfgoodrich invented the word zipper

me:  what?

Mr Amazing: yeah, he coined the term zipper

me: I’m not really sure how you found that out… although I suspect google has something to do with it… or why anyone would want to know that

Mr Amazing: the google zipper yesterday

me: Although… Inventing the actual zipper…not the word… well that would mean something

Mr Amazing: don’t worry, I sent the same message to a random co-worker and then pretended like I really sent him a random retarded message about bfgoodrich inventing the zipper… ROFLMAO

Epic

me: ROTFLMAO!!!

Mr Amazing: And then I just immediately switched gears and asked about the deployment of his app to production

smooth

me: LMAO! OMG! I am trying to cover the fact that I am laughing so hard I am crying

Mr Amazing: Next I will IM him about something really awkward

Mr Amazing: like a lump and the doctor and then pretend like I was really talking to him… “what do’ya think man… ”

pretend even

wow

I meant to do that

me: LMAO!! stop… my co-workers are looking at me

Mr Amazing: Hey … so my mother told me that she is going to stop talking to me, since I totally told her about the whole leaving the closet thing….

and… well I thought that was interesting…

so about that software deployment….

me: ROTFLMAO!!! I have to walk away… and apparently pee!! brb

me: There! much better

Mr Amazing: He still hasn’t responded…

He is probably thinking…fuck… was I too nice to him? Does he want to be my friend… creepy… shit what do I say? Do I just pretend like I don’t see it? Should I close the window? fuck….

me: ROTFLMAO!!!

Mr Amazing: just leave the window open and don’t respond… and never talk to him again

fuck

me: Stop! LMAO!

Mr Amazing: zipper? what does that mean? Is that a come on? Oh God, what if it is?

me: I just swallowed my gum!! dammit!

It’s not like you can walk over and be all “that was meant for my wife”… because then he would think you were talking zipper trivia with me

Mr Amazing: He hasn’t said anything else? what if he comes and talks to me? Is he going to talk about inventing zippers…

me: it’s better he thinks you’re hitting on him

Mr Amazing: Tomorrow I’ll ask him if yesterday meant anything to him

me: uhhhh

Mr Amazing: and then tell him that my feelings were hurt

that he never responded

I just tried to make small talk

like who invented zippers

what is awkward about that

me: “I just tried to make small talk” LMAO

Mr Amazing: nothing

zippers are healthy and normal

me: quit omg..

Mr Amazing: and he won’t talk to me about zippers?

me: I am going to die

Mr Amazing: Fine, I am not saying hi to him anymore

not even if he rubs my shoulders

I just simply refuse

me: creepy!

Mr Amazing: what is zippers?

or shoulders?

Do you think I should try to hug him? To make things seem less awkward?

you know… just reset things and let him know that we are okay

a two pat hug

me: ROTFLMAO!!

Mr Amazing: and then a shoulder squeeze

and then just walk away

me: two pats and a shoulder squeeze?

Mr Amazing: that would make things not so … weird

me: Why don’t you ask him?

maybe he has a pat preference?

Mr Amazing: oh yes, great idea

hey… do you like shoulder squeezes? you remember me, the zipper trivia guy

 me: ROTFLMAO!   Exactly

Mr Amazing: yeah, I’m on it

I am going to pray to god the whole thing just goes away

I may pray tonight

And create an altar of shame

me: I will help you.. I have candles

Mr Amazing: He just walked over and asked me to deploy his app again

he looked very troubled

me: ROTFLMAO!

Mr Amazing: but, hey … at least he is talking to me

 me: Pretend to zip your lips at him… like you can keep a secret 

Mr Amazing: Yeah, I already did that  he ran

I winked too was that going too far?

me: <Speechless>

Mr Amazing: anyway, I think we will be okay I just may need some counseling

Mr Amazing: and not type things in the wrong F*ing chat window

Mr Amazing: https://www.google.com/search?sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=coined+the+word+zipper&safe=on


Apr 20 2012

…. Earworm? Top 7 embarassing song lyrics

Author: Kerry

Ever pop in your earphones and forget the world around you can’t hear the music you are singing too? Here are my Top 7 embarrassing song lyrics to get caught singing…. Love love love!

1- Artist: Corey Heart
Song : Sunglasses At Night

Don’t switch the blade on the guy in shades. Oh No

Dont Masquerade with the guy in shades. Oh No

2- Artist: AirSupply (Lets be honest.. I chose the worst song… but any air supply lyrics are embarassing )

Song : Making Love out of Nothing at all

The Beating of my heart is a drum and its lost and its looking for a rhythm like you

You can take the darkness from the Pit of the night, and turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright

3- Artist: Kelis

Song : Milkshake

La,La,La,La,La
Warm it up
La,La,La,La,La
The boys are waiting

4- Artist: Divinyls
Song : I Touch Myself

I Search myself… I want you to find me

I Forget myself.. I want you to remind me

5- Artist: The Beetles

Song : I am the walrus

I am the eggman
they are the eggmen
I am the walrus

6- Artist: Presidents of the United States of America

Song : Peaches

Peaches come from a can,
They were put there by a man,
In a factory downtown.
If I had my little way,
I’d eat peaches every day,
Sun-soaken bulges in the shade…

7- Artist: They Might be Giants

Song : Birdhouse in your soul

Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put too fine a point on it
Say I’m the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul

Apr 17 2012

… Its Kinda like a Holiday… Its Bloggess Day!

Author: Kerry

I woke up this morning… Open my Kindle… and watched in awe as the book downloaded to my device…. Squeeeeeee!!! So to my own blog… whose holiday it is not… I apologize for the neglect as I read this… But… to make it up to you… I will give an EBook copy of this magic as a Bloggess day gift for your very own…. Comment… Baffle me with Bullshit… I will pick a random commenter and squeee in unison with them… YAY US!

 

The whole thing is I just like her that much… I dont care about visitors to my site… no offense… but Im not selling shit… Im just having fun 🙂

Apr 16 2012

… Saved your LIFE!!!

Author: Kerry

No Really… I’m not opposed to you living out your days trying to repay the debt… in fact… I encourage it…

Clicking on that little Icon will take you to the website that will save your life when the Zombies come… Typing in your zip code will tell you where to go for your best chance of survival… Such as Liquor stores (HA!) … Gun Stores… Grocery Stores… It will also tell you where the most Zombies will probably be… based on Population.. and wide open areas…

 

You’re Welcome!

Apr 14 2012

The 4 best ways to end a Conversation…. Ever… Really…

Author: Kerry

So it took me years to perfect this technique… but I have been keeping track of which ones get the biggest reaction… hence the quickest retreat… The 4 below are the winners! … I have included useful ways to work these into the conversation if you ever find yourself needing to end it…

#1 “I’m an elf.”


(No explanation necessary.)

 

 

 

#2 “you wanna touch it?”
I know from experience that this is one of the most awkward questions in the English language. I have a certain blonde headed friend who uses this phrase as his calling card of awkward situations. In order to really achieve the beauty of this question, one must say it just loud enough to be heard. The goal is not to be clearly understood, but rather just barely understood. The victim should walk away disappointed, confused, and emotionally violated.

#3 “You’re the one!”
Once again, I have experience with this one. This exclamation should be utilized in the most hopeful voice that you can muster. You have to sound like you really believe the person is the one for you, otherwise this is just stupid. Other special effects for this one are puppy dog eyes and an awkward half-smile. This might just be the most potent of the 4. Also, if you happen to attend a Christian university, this phrase works like magic. Ask me how I know

#4 “Tell your mom I said hi!”
Talking about people’s moms is weird enough, but for a total stranger to ask for you to tell your mom that they said hi? That is ridiculous. I think this one is funny because think of the hours of sleep your victim would lose at night because of the constant wondering about how you knew your mom, if you knew your mom, and why you did know your mom if you weren’t lying.

You’re welcome…