Oddities

Uhhhh Just because Im like that

Jun 20 2012

… Insomnia … It sometimes craves candy.

Author: Kerry
G-Chat (Day three no sleepy)
Mr Amazing:  I am just struggling to not fall asleep. I think I need caffeine
 me:  probably
Mr Amazing:  they have a rack of gummies, like 30 kinds
me:  Shut the front door… what kind …who is they
Mr Amazing:  Toasters, it is where I acquire chai tea latte
me:  Hmph
Mr Amazing: they have all kinds of stuff and all kinds of german chocolate, like this cherry yogurt chocolate, I have never gotten it
me:  Gummies… get to the gummies… what kind of gummies
Mr Amazing:  lol, they have coke bottle, they have all kinds, like tons
 me:  Take a picture
Mr Amazing:  lol okay  it’ll be a minute
 me:  I think it is unfair that I am in Hell… whilst you are in chai gummy land
Mr Amazing:  Uh
….
I am in chai gummy land?
 me:  Yes
Mr Amazing:  chai gummy land
 me:  Chai Gummy Land
Mr Amazing:  chai gummy land?
 me:  Its like candy land… but serves chai tea
Mr Amazing:  okay…
 me:  If i walk outside my building… I have no chai gummy magic place to go… I have Envirofacts
Mr Amazing:  lol, they moved didn’t they?
 me:  You get the point… no one is making me chai over there
Mr Amazing:  uh…Do you want to drive through Starbucks? Is that what you are saying,  for an iced chai? you only have an hour-ish left
 me:  Valid point… I think you should surprise me with Indian food for dinner… and gummy frogs
Mr Amazing: Really? ROFL
 me:  I think I am delirious… I think my face is melting off my skull
Mr Amazing: that sounds attractive
 me:  LMAO
Mr Amazing:  my face is melting off my skull
 me:  this is what happens when I dont sleep for days… this is past the giggly day… past the crying day…to the face melting day
Mr Amazing:  there are variants
 me:  like different strands of mutation disease?
Mr Amazing:  yeah, just like that
 me:  Unless you can make gummy frogs, chai tea, and icecream appear on my desk right now.. Im not really listening to you anyways
Mr Amazing:  gummy frogs? that is what you are craving? more than coke bottle?
 me:  Actually sharks… but I dont know if they have them… I dont have a picture!
Mr Amazing: or peach rings lol I haven’t left yet
 me:  Gummy sharks… or octopie!
Mr Amazing: octo pie? what the hell?
 me:  Octopi … Octopusses
Mr Amazing:  what the hell
 me:  ROTFLMAO!
Mr Amazing:  octo pussy?
 me:  They make them MISTER! Gummy Octopi!
Mr Amazing:  octopussy gummy
 me:  Its real
Mr Amazing:  uh huh so are marsians
 me:  do you think that have gummy martians?
Mr Amazing:  probably
 me:  Mmmmmm martians
Mr Amazing:  shouldn’t they be called marsians? they aren’t from mart
 me: NO!  Ooohhhh do you remember those gummy tarantulas??? OMG … OH EMMMMMM GEEEEE
Mr Amazing:  
 me:  THOSE ARE JUST BEARS!!!
Mr Amazing:  Those fucks
 me:  LMAO!
Mr Amazing: 
 me:  ahhhhhhhhhh butterflies!!!
Jun 13 2012

One might ask how… (Wordless Wednesday)

Author: Kerry

Mr. Amazing, The boot, and I all saw a movie Sunday night… Somehow managed to get out of the house without noticing I wasnt wearing a shoe on the other foot… He looked at me horrified when I realized as my barefoot hit the pavement in the parking lot… I just tucked a hand on his arm and said “Just don’t look at it, No one will notice”

(Pics or it didn’t happen!!! Ha ha! I took the pic as the screen was telling me to shut off my phone!)

Jun 12 2012

Super Hero Against Retrieving Porn (SHARP) … Nerds love acronyms

Author: Kerry
Mr Amazing:  My computer barfed – Did I miss anything?
 me:  Barfed? That’s a horrible word
Mr Amazing:  Did you smile though? Or are you just mortified?
 me:   Of Course… I snorted
Mr Amazing:   lol
 me:  So I hate to tell you this.. I was looking at what gets read the most on my blog…. Top Ten spots… our g-chats
 Mr Amazing:   lol, ridiculous
 me:  ROTFL!
Mr Amazing:   that is because you mention crap you should not, and it is from porn searches, or I mention rather and you post it … Spitzer’s
Clothing Colony for instance
 me:  oh come on… It’s not like I go around typing in crap like “Happy Endings” to come up in search engines
Mr Amazing:   lol
 me:  Bahahaha!
Mr Amazing:   yeah, no mention of clit or vagina
 me:  I know right? Or uterus
Mr Amazing:   lol, perfect
 me:  I usually throw a couple of politicians in there… Like Romney has a Uterus (serious? he should be so lucky!)…Or… President Romney means no Happy Endings for Americans …ROTFLMAO!…OMG!
Mr Amazing:   lol
 me:  I just died… seriously… that was hysterical
Mr Amazing:   President Romney’s four-year massage will not come with a happy ending…
 me:  bahahahaha!!! That would just be wrong… wrong to post things like that and divert people searching those things to my meaningless nonsense blog
Mr Amazing:   It seems to me like a good thing
 me:  Right? I’m really just trying to help out! do my part… I’m kind of a super hero… In the keyword porn fighting arena… Search Term Super Hero
Mr Amazing:   ROFLMAO you should post that… as a post
 me:  Oh yeah, Like im not already highlight this G Chat gold! and pasting it in my blog
Mr Amazing:   Oh God
 me:  G-chat… Not G-String
Mr Amazing:   You could just post an idea … Rather than copying my words verbatim to a blog
 me:  Ha ha! My readers love you
Mr Amazing:   I hope you at least fix my spelling errors
 me:  (always)  and this time! it was me being funny! that’s never happened before!
Mr Amazing:  Super Hero Against Retrieving Porn (SHARP) Nerds love acronyms
 me:  ROFL! oh great… okay now its all about you again
<Spongebob voice> Five minutes later
Mr Amazing:  Nerds Against The Use of Rhetorical Acronymous Lingo (NATURAL)
 me:  That took you a while didn’t it LMAO
Mr Amazing:  lol, it did but I am against myself doing it
Jun 11 2012

… Snow White and the Huntsman… WTF????

Author: Kerry

Ummm I usually try to tell you why I like or didn’t like a movie without actually saying anything that could be considered a spoiler… However… This movie was horrible… No character development… lame ass CG animals… Shady dwarves… (The queen was great!) … people were dying all over the place… and they hadn’t taken the time to attach you to any of them… it was bad… Netflix will have it shortly… wait for it if you us see it… or skip it all together… Kristen looked like what I have always envisioned a real snow-white like… stunningly beautiful… and then when she opened her mouth…  or reacted to a situation… it ruined it… and it was very much just like watching bella bleed out on the table again… lame sauce…. There I said it. Hi Ho! its off to work I go 🙂

Jun 10 2012

… Prometheus… Two arms up!!

Author: Kerry

When Mr. Amazing and I were dating I told him I looovveeedd scary movies, and we went through a time when he tried to show me scary movies… all of which I hated…(Pandorum being the movie I hated most of all)  … I in turn showed him anything and everything by Wes Craven… Stephen King…. etc… and he just rolled his eyes and we agreed that we liked scary movies for different reasons… I dont like being scared… I like the warped sense of humor that comes in those movies… Seriously… Freddie Krueger… being my all time favorite.

Mr. Amazing would regale me with tales of hiding from his parents behind the couch to watch “Alien” and being absolutely terrified … I of course having an older brother had seen it… but it had been so many years I couldn’t remember anything but the alien coming out of Sigourney Weavers faux uterus… so we watched it.. and mr. amazing prepared to laugh as I shrieked and screamed…  I laughed through the whole movie… to the point of tears when the creepy robot man melted… Much to the dismay of Mr. Amazing… WOW thats a hell of a lead into Prometheus… but I must say it was required because there was a lot of pressure on this movie date this weekend…. He so wanted it to be everything alien wasn’t… he didn’t want me to laugh…. oh my hell… I laughed… and laughed… the entire audience was laughing… and we kept rolling our eyes … and saying “ridiculous”… but were still completely enraptured with the scenery… and the gruesomeness… and then we jumped in our seats a little… and had some nostalgic feel good moments….  questioned the existence of God… and laughed again as some people died… because well… you will just have to see it for yourself… and that is the whole point of this really… see it for yourself… because at the end of all of the “oh my gods” and “oh puhleezes”… I realized that it was probably one of the most entertaining two hours all weekend… and I loved it… and Just like I dont like Freddy for scary… I dont like prometheus for a good alien flick (there isn’t a good alien sci fi flick as far as Im concerned… other than Star Trek) But that it was awesome.. and warped.. and a lot of fun! (btw. The opening 10 minutes of the film in Imax 3d were AMAZING!, absolutely breathtaking)

Jun 08 2012

… Funday Friday?

Author: Kerry

Perhaps everyday needs a fucking theme…. Soooo I feel like you have been deprived of Mr. Amazing and I’s g-chats… I will skip the political rhetoric… and move you straight into this… because well… its Friday 🙂

me: I love you! Im drinking coffee… in the afternoon… I havent done this in months… I have the worst headache… its all magic

Mr. Amazing: oh man, my back hurts, and I am starving, and my head feels …I can’t think of the word, like it’s full of fudge

me: Mmmm fudge

Mr. Amazing: do you want to eat my brains

me: YES!

Mr. Amazing: I bet they don’t taste like fudge but I am told brains have the consistency of jello stringy jello

me: Warm jello or cold jello

Mr. Amazing: warm, bloody, jello

me: Im feeling a little queezy

Mr. Amazing: sorry

 

Jun 07 2012

… The Start of Theme Song Thursday

Author: Kerry

… If you read this you know… I don’t ever really write about my depression directly… but it plays such an active part of my life that you find it in my writing… in my storytelling… in the events of my life… I have a list of “go to” songs… Things that pull me out of that dark place I never talk about… I’ve always called them my theme songs… and  change them up based on what is happening in my life… I love music… Thus hatched the thought of Theme Song Thursdays…. I was inspired this morning… driving in my car… Thinking of everything I haven’t accomplished… Who I (in my mind) am letting down… How I am falling behind… never enough… always too much… those types of thoughts… When This popped on the radio… Which began an entire Behind the wheel choreographed dance routine for all of those commuting with me… Truer words have never been sung… I just thought I might not be the only one who needed them this week….

Remember, If music, or any other of the tools you use aren’t working… tell someone…

“Depression Lies” – The Bloggess

 

Jun 05 2012

… Lisbon, Portugal… Posts from the Past

Author: Kerry

Lisbon, Portugal July 2008 (posts from the past)

I was in Lisbon last week on business, Although I had never been to Portugal before, and honestly after russia, any travel was a little disconcerting, I was nervous… But I must say, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. The people were extremely friendly, I was really impressed with their kindness. Happily, my event went off wonderfully, and the scenery was stunning… This is a picture of an apartment building… I fell in love with the exterior…
 
This wall ran along one of the freeways.. my gracious tour guide/crazy man told me that in the early 1940s gangsters used to dispose of bodies off this bridge…. WOW Gruesome! What a great place to hide the bodies!!! I Love it! This was also the only thing left standing from the earthquake that flattened Lisbon (when ever that was)

THIS ADORABLE MAN! was the doorman at The Pestana Palace Hotel (yes it really was a palace we stayed in, that was converted into a hotel… its gardens were the most beautiful thing I have seen…) Everyday when he would open the door for me he would tip his hat and say in perfect english “Good Day Miss” I wanted to record him doing it… he was a little affronted by that, but did agree to let us snap a picture of him, as you can tell from his smile, I don’t think he minded the attention too awful bad… could he be any cuter?

Here is the lovely door he opened for me each day…..
Then the palace!
This believe it or not is the stables across the street… The horses live better than I do!
Here I am buying souvenirs for the kids…
This wonderful man was my tour guide and tormentor for the day!!! One day he will visit the states and I will return the favor of near death experiences along highways and through traffic… but until then… I leave you with this…. If you ever have the chance to visit Portugal …. do it! (Just don’t eat the food… Trust me!!!)
May 22 2012

… Refer to Exhibit A

Author: Kerry

Beautiful spring evening… returned from a delicious dinner with Mr. Amazing… Let the beast outside to pee…. Peek down the side of the porch to see if the Sprinkler “key” is there… I really should water the lawn…. BAM! Biff! Boom! (Like on the batman cartoon dammit!)… Yeah… so I fell off the porch… rolled the shit out of my ankle… wrenched my back… bruised the crap out of places I havent even discovered yet… and figured you all should read this (you know… the post about how I am a clutz… yeah that one… people seemed to like it when I first posted it)… It will be a tradition… At some point I will compile them all…