Oddities

Uhhhh Just because Im like that

Sep 18 2012

… the collection of characters I have in my life already is pretty amazing.. Just imagine if you will.

Author: Kerry

Its Writer’s Workshop time again… This weeks prompt was fun! Just because I can imagine us all in some coffee shop… or neighborhood bar… retelling the days.

Share 5 Fictional Friends you’d want in real life. (Movie/Book/TV etc.)

 

 

Harry Potter! So what if he’s a little whiny sometimes? Harry would still be a kickass friend. Think he’d speak Parseltongue if I got him drunk enough?

Bilbo Baggins! He has even better adventures than Tom Sawyer! And a better sense of humor, better jewelry, better-insulated feet. Just better all around!

Lara Croft!  She is  a bad ass, and she always seems to find the treasure she is looking for.

Optimus Prime! He is so Cool! and he is a car… what more could you ask for?

And lastly… but not least by any means…. (You all think I’m going to say Captain Jack Sparrow)

Sally Owens! From practical magic… we would be BFFs!

 

Now I’m going to state the obvious! How cool would my life be? Christmas presents from Lara Croft? Hey Optimus! I’m stuck in traffic! Help!

All that being said, the collection of characters I have in my life already is pretty amazing. I wouldn’t change them for anything!!!

I just wish Mr. Amazing could turn into a car sometimes 🙂

 

Aug 31 2012

… Meg and the Tomatillo Enchiladas (Sounds like a childs book)

Author: Kerry
Me: In the oven at this moment is green tomatillo enchilada magic…. You owe meg
         uh  Me… Not meg
         I don’t even know who meg is
         If you know a meg… You don’t owe her… You owe me
Mr Amazing: lol I owe Meg, got it
Me: Nooooo not meg… I will kick Meg’s ass.
Mr Amazing: lol
Mr Amazing: Okay…
Me: Is this meg? I found her on my iPad
Mr Amazing: Oh shit, She doesn’t mean anything to me
                            I promise
             Neither does things one I suppose
Mr Amazing: Nope, not a thing
Me: You’re a floozy

Mr Amazing: I have been called many things
Me: Yeah.. Well My iPad is full of em
Mr Amazing: Lazy, annoying, cold, cruel, mean, forgetful, depressing, killjoy
  but never “floozy”
Me: Well.. There you go
  There’s a first for everything
(Try making those magic enchiladas meg!!! Good luck with that!!! I’m posting the recipe only to show off that I can now use a stove… incase you read my other post)
Chicken green tomatillo enchiladas.
This recipe is a great enchilada sauce, if you wanted little more spicy, throw in extra jalapenos. it will make about 8 enchiladas. 2 per person.
Number of Servings: 4
Ingredients
8 flour tortillas
4 oz mozzarela
shredded chicken breast 12 oz
Canned Tomatillos (large)
Sour cream (One pint (I use the substitute))
1 Can chicken broth
Directions
*Boil chicken breast for about 30 min. shredd the meat.
*boil green tomatillos,peppers,garlic for about 10 min.
*add to blender broth, tomatillos, sourcream.
medium deep pan add the tomatillo sauce as a bottom layer
Roll Tortillas with chicken and cheese. add a little more sauce on top and put some cheese on top of enchiladas.
Enjoy! (Bake at 375 til melted and gooey and bubbling)
Aug 21 2012

… Like a vomiting of words into the keyboard and onto your screen….

Author: Kerry

Ive missed some writing prompts the last few weeks again… And I think you missed me… I cant say that I blame you really… I will make it up to you… I will write about them all… I will get past this writers block… and join the land of the bloggers yet again….

Or will I …. Perhaps instead some insight into the dilemma….

1.) What do your kids have that you always wanted when you were a kid? Other than this one… Im not going to answer this one…

2.) You were supposed to start a garden this summer…share the fruits of your labor. OH MY GAWD ::: Looks outside at her planter boxes that had planted seeds of Catnip, Chamomile, mint, and some smattering of wild flowers :::: Im not answering this one either

3.) Aside from your kids, pets, your husband, your coffee and your wine…what makes you smile? Are you watching me? How do you know about my love affair with coffee and wine… Obviously you already know way too much about me… I can’t answer this one either

4.) Write about something that complicates your life. I feel like these prompts are personal questions! Like you know what is going on in my head… Because it is complicated right now… I struggle to find ways to spend time with my thirteen year old boy… and feel close… I love him so much … and he is so… well… look for yourself…. this is what he is doing as I type.. I cant possibly write about that!

 
5.) Share your writing process. How long does it take an idea in your head to get published on your blog? Upon seeing this prompt I only came up with one image… I am sorry … But its true… and I am incapable of putting it into words

Aug 17 2012

… Arachnids on Crack

Author: Kerry

I found this… All proper credit is given… I just thought it deserved a republication!!!

Spiders On Drugs

Scientists at the United States National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) have turned their attention from the mysteries of the cosmos to a more esoteric area of research: what happens when you get a spider stoned. Their experiments have shown that common house spiders spin their webs in different ways according to the psychotropic drug they have been given. Nasa scientists believe the research demonstrates that web-spinning spiders can be used to test drugs because the more toxic the chemical, the more deformed was the web.

* Spiders on marijuana made a reasonable stab at spinning webs but appeared to lose concentration about half-way through.

* Those on Benzedrine – “speed” – spin their webs “with great gusto, but apparently without much planning leaving large holes”, according to New Scientist magazine.

* Caffeine, one of the most common drugs consumed by Britons in soft drinks, tea and coffee, makes spiders incapable of spinning anything better than a few threads strung together at random.

* On chloral hydrat, an ingredient of sleeping pills, spiders “drop off before they even get started”.

* See what happens to their mental state.

Start with a Drug Free Spider Web

Web created while exposed to Mescaline\Peyote

  

   Web created while exposed to LSD

Web created while exposed to Marijuana

    

    Web created exposed to Caffeine

Web created exposed to Benzedrine/Speed

    Web created exposed to Chloral Hydrat (sleeping pills)

I LOVE IT!!!

Aug 10 2012

… I’d much rather just sleep with you…

Author: Kerry

1 am.. We have got to stop meeting like this… I’d much rather just sleep with you…

KERRY HAS FORGOTTEN what it was like to sleep.

It hadn’t been that long since she’d had sleep that she’d forget, surely… Nevertheless, she had.

She had memories of sleep.

Well … vague memories, anyway.

She vaguely remembered how good it felt to put her head down on the soft coolness of a pillow.

She vaguely remembered what it was like to feel as though she were melting into the comfort of a nice… soft mattress.

She vaguely remembered what it was like to get the covers just right so that she was warm where she wanted to be warm and cool where she wanted to be cool.

Aug 07 2012

Happy 21st Birthday Internet!!!!

Author: Kerry

Happy 21st birthday to the World Wide Web! The 1st web page published here!

I know the internet is just now old enough to drink with… but what has made it so entertaining is how much we have all been drunk with it!!!

Aug 03 2012

… The Never Ending Nipple

Author: Kerry
me:  Ummmm The universe wants to marry me, and wants me to have this ring.
Mr. Amazing:  Tell the Universe to fuck off, you’re taken
 me:  LMAO
Mr. Amazing:  But if the universe wants to give you a ring that’s different
 me:  I think it wants me to have that ring!!
Mr. Amazing:  .01 carat diamonds… 1% of a nice diamond
 me:  its a snake… did you miss that part… the snake…
Mr. Amazing:  black rhodium snake
 me:  It wants me to wear it!
Mr. Amazing:  
That’s what I want
 me:  That is awesome… but really… where would you wear that ROTFLMAO! Like giant bling on your chest to work?
Mr. Amazing:  I would wear it all the  time, I would call it a religious talisman and start to cry if someone asked about it and then stare up into the sky and fake meditate Latin words
 me:  ROTFLMAO!
 Mr. Amazing:  I want that now, I would wear it under my shirt and tell them it was my sacred necklace
 me:  I would get you a long enough chain that it would look like a nipple
a never ending nipple
 me:  If I had a tattoo gun… you would never be safe to sleep again… you would have oracle nipples
Mr. Amazing:  oracle? why oracle? what does that even mean?
 me:  The southern oracle… The two halves… Im naming your nipples
 Mr. Amazing: and why would you have a tatoo gun
 me:  it could happen
 Mr. Amazing  the Southern oracle that would be a bad ass tattoo
 me:  Your nip could be the eye
that opens and kills people if they are afraid, and they will all be afraid
Mr. Amazing:  LOL I would be afraid
Mr. Amazing:  I like that Auryn medallion, The universe wants me to have it
 me:  The universe speaks in mysterious ways
Mr. Amazing: yes, yes it does
Aug 02 2012

Your Political Guide to Fast Food Restaurants…

Author: Kerry

Picture if you will… the moral dilemma I faced in 100 degree weather yesterday afternoon… As I ran to get lunch for some co-workers … They wanted Chick Fil A… Chick Fil A was filled with all kinds of appreciative customers… which I was not one (I had never actually been to a Chick Fil A) So I find it Ironic that the day I go requires me going against my stance on equality… bigotry… and Hate….

 

Or did it?

This Morning KFC came out in support of LGBT Equality… Well… damn… I hate their nasty food… where is the chicken equality…

People… I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried!

But Try we Shall….

McDonalds comes out in support of only homosexuals and denigrates the existence of heterosexuals
Burger King is for all forms of sexual attraction, including bisexual and autosexual
Subway only supports transgenders
Taco Bell is for lesbians only, duh (LMAO!)
Arbys suggests that anyone who sells meat between two buns can not really be against being Gay… and right they are….
The Sign Lies… Its not really delicious 🙂

 

Jul 22 2012

… An Invasion of Privacy

Author: Kerry

Tolman: Hello!

me: Hi Tolman!!!!

Tolman: I have to tell you something… I just can’t keep it inside any longer!

me: Really? What could it be?

Tolman: I Love you… Not like in love with you… Just Love you… And

me: There is more?

Tolman: Yes, I worship the ground you walk on and want to be just like you when I grow up

me: You’re older than me

Tolman: Well, it was a figure of speech

me: You are aware you left yourself logged into my google chrome aren’t you?

Tolman: You don’t say

me: Oh but I do… and then I can open another chat window in IE

Tolman: Why would anyone do that?

me: I’m tired of talking to myself…

Tolman: Is’nt that an invasion of privacy?

me: Yes… yes it is… But im glad you told me how you feel

Tolman: Oh really?

me: The feeling is mutual

Tolman: You need sleep

me: I need sleep… This should have been much more creative and entertaining than it is

Tolman: You made me confess my love for you

me: Yes, But I could have had you confess you used to be a man… think of the possibilities

Tolman: <shiver>