Oddities

Uhhhh Just because Im like that

Feb 15 2013

How to make major decisions as a couple… Really.

Author: Kerry

Mr Amazing:  This looks cool 

51Tgem-VSBL._SL1000_

Mr Amazing:   It has a super nes emulator  & tons of games to download for free

me:  Okay okay… Why would Nintendo let that happen?

Mr Amazing:  :  who is buying NES64 games? Plus minecraft is available

me:  I want it! buy me it!

Mr Amazing:  :  lol

me:  Not funny anymore!

Mr Amazing:    I no longer want it

me:  LOL!  I WANT IT!

Mr Amazing:    smiffbib

me:  Bratface!

Mr Amazing:   it has a SNES and NES64 emulator

me:  I want it all Every Effing Mario Game since the dawn of time!

Mr Amazing: Plus you download ANY game & try it for free even the $50 games

me:  Want want want NEED

Mr Amazing: Oh Kerry

… Donkey Kong 64

… Paper Mario (the original)

… Mario Party

… Diddy Kong Racing

me:  PAPER MARIO I JUST DIED AT MY DESK… Coffee saved me

Mr Amazing:  Super Mario 64

me:  Buy Buy Buy

Mr Amazing:  It is being released June 2013

me:  We could give it to the smalls for their birthday!

Mr Amazing:  lol here kids

me:  and then steal their birthday present and play it

Mr Amazing:  now get the FUCK out of my way

me:  ROTFLMAO!

Mr Amazing:  seems disingenuous somehow

me:  It wants me to buy it

Mr Amazing:  I want to spend $1200 on a security appliance for home

me:  A security appliance?

Mr Amazing:  Yes, with IDS, content filtering, and anti-virus and anti-phishing built in

me:  doesn’t sound like a lot of fun

Mr Amazing: It would make it so we could control where are kids go online and verify they never download crap they aren’t supposed to

me:  <yawn>

Mr Amazing:  

mx60w-mantle

me:  paper Mario

Mr Amazing:  and it would make our wireless signal awesome

me:  paper Mario… paper Mario… PAPER MARIO YAY

Jan 30 2013

Sssss … Sssss…. Ssssss

Author: Kerry

mama kats

This week’s prompt – The last time you were sick…

My brain is mush … I have soooooo much snot … leaking from every orifice .. I am gleaking (just trying to give you a mental image) from the corners of my eyes when I sneeze… which is often…. I am incapable of blogging in this state… Which is why I chose this prompt… also… I think I am funny….Hell… I think everything is funny today… Here have this Gchat conversation rather than me explaining… I think it says it all…Send help… or cheese.

me:  When I laugh I sound like that dog on Duck Hunt… Just sayin… LOL and I think everything is sooo funny today

Mr Amazing:  you sound like wooof…wooof…wooof??

 me:  Nooooo When he snickers when you miss the ducks!

Mr Amazing:  sssss..ssssss..sssss ??

 me:  YEAH! Like that And It hurts to breathe…I think it is lack of oxygen due to this damn cold LMAO even that is funny

Mr Amazing: not funny

 me:  Im pretty sure it is funny, cause I am sitting here alone at my desk sssss ssss sssssing

 me:  I think assuming I get home alive – that I am going to make enchiladas for dinner and they will be magically delicious

 me:  It will be a magical magic kinda enchilada delirious wife kinda night… Im so excited! Do we own cheese?

 me: LMAO! LMAO!

 me: I dont know if we own cheese…

Mr Amazing:  we have cheese

 me:  Thank God! …  I love cheese

I am pretty sure I will be deleting this post as soon as I am feeling better… and of sound mind… think of it as a limited edition!! SSSssss Ssssss Sssssss

UPDATED: I picked up take out on the way home 🙂
duck-hunt-dog

Jan 25 2013

OUTER DARKNESS!

Author: Kerry

UPDATE: BAHAHAHA! I Apologize in advance to writing this post that every one of you that googles Outer Space and gets brought here… Its getting a TON of traffic… But I know this isn’t quite what you had in mind!

I almost feel like I should put a disclaimer on here… But I decided against it 🙂

Mr Amazing:  It’s all because of the coca cola flavored Slurpee… choose the form of the destructor…..

 me:  I’m going to live forever… because God hates me… That’s my retirement plan

Mr Amazing:  Uh… hello God has a plan, you can only live (or die) if you are part of Gods plan

 me:  I choose neither

Mr Amazing:  then you will live forever in death or die forever in life – Not sure which

 me:  OUTER DARKNESS! Okay seriously… how cool does that sound… where are you? OUTER DARKNESS!

Mr Amazing:  outer darkness sounds horrible, it’s like being Helen Keller

 me:  How is it any scarier sounding than outer space? I think that perhaps that is what they were referring too… if you don’t get to go to heaven… You float around in space

Mr Amazing:  well, you can’t live in outer space

 me:  bumping asteroids and stuff

Mr Amazing:  nope it is complete and total loneliness with no senses

 me:  If Kolob is a planet

Mr Amazing: no touch, sight, sound, etc

 me:  Outer Darkness is Outer Space… its logical

Mr Amazing:  maybe it is being stuck in a black hole

 me:  Maybe… Either way… it doesn’t sound that bad… and all the coke flavored candy will be there…

Mr Amazing:  living forever with only your own thoughts sounds lovely?

 me:  Have you met me?  It sounds fantastic!

Mr Amazing:  you obviously don’t understand Mormon theology

no senses

no taste

no smell

no touch

no sight

no sound

 me:  No, You obviously don’t understand my brain… It would be like Disneyland

Mr Amazing:  you would be screaming and you couldn’t even hear yourself scream

 me:  My thoughts alone are the equivalent of the Matterhorn

Mr Amazing::  if such a place existed

 me:  Why would I be screaming? Nothing would be hurting me… cant feel anything!

Mr Amazing:  because you would go mad http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_deprivation

 me:  Would it be claustrophobic? or big like outer darkness sounds?

Mr Amazing:  you wouldn’t be able to tell

 me:  Then it wouldn’t matter

Mr Amazing:  You would go completely insane within days

 me:  I bet I could hold out longer than you

Mr Amazing:  I would last minutes ROFL

 me:  I think it sounds like a vacation

outer-space1
Jan 22 2013

11 random facts you probably wish you never knew about me

Author: Kerry

liebsterLabelsFinalI was nominated for an award! This is new! I don’t really get an actual award… although I do have a trophy shelf for the day it happens… when I am discovered… it will most likely happen while I am searching out the perfect avocado at the grocery store… I will shriek eureka! and the playwright/producer/art-gallery owner (whomever happens to discover me) will echo my shrill exclamation at the very sight of me and my talents… and that is how it will happen… I just know it… Until then- Tamara Tipton a fellow blogger has nominated me for this adorable heart bearing graphic above… and to receive the award I have to answer these questions (Something about nominating others… but I’m skipping that part… because I don’t think we should give these out to everyone.. I don’t need the competition)

 kidding aside, It is a fun blog prompt & I adore Tamara and her blog 🙂

  1.  A childhood memory- One of my earliest childhood memories is trick or treating at the 7-11 in California… My Mother stayed in her blue station wagon and let us kids run in for what resembles a spit cup at the dentists office amount of Slurpee they were giving out… It was my first rebel moment… I chose coke flavored! My mother informed me I was disappointing the prophet and most likely going to hell… and I gleefully slurped up my evil Slurpee… Mm-mm
  2. One of your biggest fears – Aside from the normal… Loss of a child… Zombie Apocalypse… and living in North Korea… I would have to say my BIGGEST fears are anything body related… that is no longer attached to the body… it freaks me out people!!! Clipped Toenails…. Trimmed hair… Whatever the hell is inside that little catch on my Ped Egg…. (I just threw up in my mouth a little) and don’t even get me started on the fluid.
  3. Something you wish you knew at 18- I knew it all at 18, doesn’t every 18 year old?? I wish there were some things I had not known… But that is another blog post.
  4. Five things you cannot leave the house without- Keys, My Phone, My I Pad,  Lip Goo (I love it) and Gum (Wow I feel like that all should have been more profound)
  5. Something you like about yourself. My Parenting skills… I feel like an outcast when I say that… So many moms spend so much time beating themselves up… but I am actually a pretty kick ass mom… I love my kids.
  6. If you could spend an hour in the past, when would you want to visit? I have to tell you… I really believe we are living in the most amazing of times! In my life I have witness the birth of DVD, Internet, Cell Phones, Smart Phones, Tablets, the first black President… I’m a firm believer I will be here for the first woman President as well (HILARY 2016!) … I think life is a wonder… and miracles happen everyday… I would like to take that one hour… and extend my life in this time by that much.
  7. If you could have a thousand dollar gift card to one store, which store would it be? Any art supply store would do 🙂
  8. If you could anonymously grant a wish, whose would you grant? My Son … I do not know what he would ask for… but I would give him the world if I could.
  9. What flavor evokes the strongest memory for you? See #1 – Cola Flavored anything!!! I Love it!
  10. Why do you blog? I am pretty sure my head would expand and explode if I couldn’t get all of this out … There is so much to say… Plus I really like annoying people with these ellipses… I do it on purpose
  11. Dog or Cat person?? Both!!! I have one of each!!! File this one with the what I wouldn’t leave the house without response 🙂

There you go! Now you know! Gimme Gummy Coke Bottles now!

 

Jan 15 2013

…Excited for the weekend?? Wag your tail!!!

Author: Kerry

I don’t have the category on this blog entitled “Oddities” for nothing people…

This really happened! and the Daily News really wrote about it… but hey… then again… So did I… just now… you are reading it…

 

Here is just plain weird.

article-tallytail1-0104

 

The Tailly’s belt contains a sensor that reads the wearer’s heart rate. The tail then wags faster or slower accordingly.

Tailly will be available in a variety of colors, according to the Kickstarter page.

“You could even wear Tailly on a date and express your true feelings through the wagging tail,” the developers suggest…. I don’t need to tell you how much mine would be waggin at the thought of it!

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/wearable-tail-show-feel-article-1.1233438#ixzz2I4dMICxu

Jan 09 2013

… I can’t keep living this way.

Author: Kerry

I can’t keep living this way… If you have been a reader of this blog… you know sleep issues are a running theme. I am a lifelong insomniac… as well as a long time experiencing Adult Night Terrors individual… There is a lot that goes along with this that I do not share … Panic attacks over my sleeping environment being one of them (until now)… Also you know that I have recently in the past few years met … fell in love with… and married my Night Time Knight in shining armor… Mr. Amazing. (everything is appropriately back linked if you want the history 🙂 )

Something new in my sleep pattern is emerging as I continue down this road to happy destiny… And it is more disturbing to me personally than any of the above… I. Am. Sleeping. SOUNDLY… So soundly that last night Mr. Amazing came into the bedroom (he had too stay up late working from home) … OPENED the door… entered our bedroom… said my name twice… tried to shoe the dog from the bed… and in a tired exasperated state of mind gave up and went back to the couch and fell asleep…. In my life… as long as I can remember… I have NEVER slept through someone entering a room, a door opening or closing anywhere in where I am sleeping… I have NEVER slept through someone speaking in the room … or a dog climbing up on the bed…

45 minutes after his attempt to come to bed… I … as is my habit unfortunately… bolted up in bed… not finding him there… and the inexplicable rage that comes with a full blown panic attack… which comes from finding you are not in the circumstance you think you are while asleep… found myself in the living room yelling at him … he tried to explain what had happened (Public Service Announcement: No one should ever ever ever try to have rational conversations whilst in the grasps of recent sleep… because they are never rational) to which I responded with complete disbelief .. because I don’t do that… I don’t sleep through things… and I certainly don’t want to start… I lay awake (mostly) from that point on … in complete terror that it was possible (which is of course the truth). I had taken Advil pm… the lack of aches… and the added sleep… along with all the other healthy things taking place in my life… less energy drinks… less coffee… less insecurity… less instability… less depression… less nightmares… less sleepless nights… less worries… had finally caught up with me… We fumbled through amends this morning… he kept making them… when in reality… this is all me… this mess is mine… he just wants me to sleep… he just wants to me to know I am safe enough to really sleep that deeply… His intentions are so amazing… and through tears… I had to tell him that I am choosing to hang onto this one thing… for now… My sleep pattern… because it is like a life line… it is irrational… irresponsible… and unfair of me… but it is what I want… So I have been awake since the wee hours of this morning… and I have already downed one energy drink.. and I am moving onto coffee… Maybe one day… but not this day….

1

Jan 09 2013

… Melting down…

Author: Kerry

You know when you break a vase and seamlessly glue it back together… but there is still that one chipped piece… So you display the vase with the chipped part facing the wall… so no one can see it…. People walk by and exclaim what a pretty vase and never see the chip because they don’t bother to turn the vase around… But you know it’s there… That… In reverse.
This is kinda how life feels sometimes.

whiteVases

Dec 17 2012

… are you saying you want me to take “your” journalistic integrity and shove it up “my” ___ ?

Author: Kerry
 me:  (Linked this picture)kitten
Mr. Amazing:  cute
 me:  lol
 me:  LMAO!
 me:  Its cute… shiney and silver
Mr. Amazing: We are still talking about the speaker, yes?
 me:  Yes – LOL Bratface
Mr. Amazing:  You can play music to it right from your iPad wirelessly
 me:  Dont talk to me anymore LOL
Mr. Amazing:  And… I can get it through my work for only $95
 me:  If I can only have one cat, you can only have one speaker… go home and mark your favorite… Im throwing the rest out the window
Mr. Amazing:  lol
 me:  I loooovvveee you
Mr. Amazing:  I love you too, If you want to call the landlord… I am sure that would be a super fun conversation
 me:  They would never even notice!
Mr. Amazing: and watch this be the kitten that urinates on EVERYTHING, What is that lovely smell in your home, is that… cat urine, yummy
 me:  You think EVERY cat pees on everything LOL more don’t pee on things than do!
Mr. Amazing:  That’s because every other cat I have owned pees on everything, pee pee pee pee
 me:  How many have you owned LMAO!
Mr. Amazing:  3
 me:  I have owned a bazzillion… and flora was the only one who did that..
Mr. Amazing:  Yeah… well
Mr. Amazing:  I am happy with two animals, a cat, a dog
 me:  Me too, I just like to mess with you
Mr. Amazing:  done
 me:  and I love kittens
Mr. Amazing:  yeah… that’s all this is, you like to mess with me
 me:  Kittens are like babies, My friends get one, and I get kitten hungry LOL I dont really want one
Mr. Amazing:  lol -you really don’t want one? So if I brought a kitten home tonight you would turn it away, cuz you really don’t want one
 me:  Oh hell no, I would snatch that kitten up and kiss the shit out of it
Mr. Amazing:  I want to cry a little bit just thinking about a kitten peeing in the closet and climbing up my back while I am screaming obscenities
(this is a memory, FYI)
 me:  LMAO! Its going to happen one day, I am content with that for now
Mr. Amazing: I honest to god think you like tormenting my subconscious brain
 me:  ROTFLMAO!
Mr. Amazing:  you don’t like this? <twist>
 me:  I told you up front, remember, I would ALWAYS own a cat
 Mr. Amazing:  I told you I would always own a chicken hawk, but I let that dream die
 me:  ROTFLMAO!!!
 me:  Im sure the kids would LOVE one!
Mr. Amazing::  Do you see the picture of it eating the kitten, uh… I mean small squirrel
 me:  WHAT? No! You wouldnt send me a picture of that! <looking again>
 me:  Mother Fucker
Mr. Amazing:  Meow
 me:  You know… Pissing you off is the only thing that stops me from bringing one home…. And suddenly the keeping you happy thing seems alot less appealing
 me:  Im Blogging this… people will mail me Kittens in protest!
Mr. Amazing:   It will arrive in a package dead, and I can feed it to a chicken hawk – tell them that if they send you kittens to at least put holes in the box
 me:  Your going to hell…. which will include cat nip treats dangling over your boy parts in a room full of kittens
 Mr. Amazing:  boy parts?
 me:  uh huh
Mr. Amazing:   what am I five?
 me:  ROTFL!
Mr. Amazing:   you just typed that I want that to sink in
 me:  I am DYING over here! I typed it because I knew I was going to blog it!
Mr. Amazing:   that seems counter-intuitive, shouldn’t you blog it because you typed it? Where is your journalistic integrity?
 me:  Bet if it was up your… other part… you would know
Mr. Amazing:   are you saying you want me to take “your” journalistic integrity and shove it up “my” ass?
 me:  YES!