Mr Amazing

Nov 01 2013

Right in the parts!

Author: Kerry

Mr. Amazing: I don’t get paid for a while Kerry
and I think it’s important that you know that I want a keyboard
me: ROTFL!
Mr. Amazing: It makes me sad inside
me: Im sorry you are sad inside.
Mr. Amazing: in my sad because I can’t have a toy part of my body
me: I have learned one thing with you… When you get the toy… you just get sad over the next thing you want
Mr. Amazing: LOL… I really wish that I could deny that
me: But you cant
Mr. Amazing: I could be disingenuous and say that it’s all lies…and that toy “x” would make me whole my favorite toys are my nixie clock and that lamp sitting in a box
me: I remember… your life long dream… and the passion you had for getting it… you had wanted it your whole life…
Mr. Amazing: just thought you should know
me:  and now its buried in junk on your dresser
Mr. Amazing:it makes me sad in the “I want my clock to be pretty” part of my body
me: “Look at these tubes kerry… they were made in the cold war”
Mr. Amazing: They were… Just sayin’ and in the early part of the cold war not the Reagan Gorbachev shaking hands pretty phase of the relationship
me: ROTFLMAO!
Mr. Amazing: Your laughter hurts me in the “you don’t like my petty toys” part of my body
me: Its a good thing you have all these parts…. do you have the Oh god she is rolling her eyes at me and its killing me part too? because that happened
Mr. Amazing: yeah… I felt a twinge that was a lot like that a few seconds ago … it was either that or gas… but I am pretty sure it was that
and it was painful
and I could feel a tear swelling in the corner of my eye
and then a co-worker was about to walk by, so I forced the tear back in
me: LOL! Man up tear ducts!
Mr. Amazing: man up… man up… sad tear ducts…deep down I know you are laughing at me…. not with me
me: ROTFLMAO! Right at you… at your parts
Mr. Amazing: deep down in the “she’s mocking me” part of my body it’s hurting me right in the feelings
me: Where is the “Oh God she is going to blog this” part of your body… because Im laughing at it now
Mr. Amazing: It’s right next to my central shame center… It’s part of my Central Anxiety System

TEN MINUTES LATER

Mr Amazing:  Kerry… I love Mac OS X

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Oct 08 2013

Happy Birthday Mr. Amazing!!!

Author: Kerry

Friday (October 11th) is my best friends thirty-eighth birthday. 

Mr. Amazing

We’ve been through a lot together… you and I…  the expression “married the minute we met” fits us so perfectly…because of our smalls and our devotion to them… because we thought of them first.

Sometimes I worry you think I married you for the children… but it is very important to me you know that You are my rock… my best friend… my lover… my hero… the love of my life.

Below are thirty-eight of the infinite number of reasons why.

I love you because:

  1. You make me feel safe;
  2. You listen to your heart;
  3. You drink tea, and you love opera and rock;
  4. You stood by me when I needed it most;
  5. You put your arm around me in public;
  6. You smell wonderful;
  7. I know that if the boogeyman ever shows up and tries to come for me… you will tear him into millions of tiny pieces and scatter them to the four corners of the earth;
  8. You love my son;
  9. You’re willing to reflect and learn and grow;
  10. I can still make you blush;
  11. You’re different;
  12. You are the one who comforts me in the middle of the night;
  13. You humor me;
  14. I can’t resist your hair;
  15. You kiss me goodbye everyday;
  16. You crack me up harder than anyone else for reasons that would make no sense to anyone else;
  17. Stories about helpless people or animals overcoming great odds move you to tears;
  18. You created a space just for me… My paint room;
  19. You are genuinely interested in me;
  20. You smile with your whole face and light up a room;
  21. You will sit and listen to Smallest Child talk for hours;
  22. You are the most intelligent individual I have ever had the pleasure of knowing;
  23. You show compassion toward those in need;
  24. You’ve supported me through a period of growth even when you weren’t sure of the outcome;
  25. You hold me tight when I cry;
  26.  You told me I’m beautiful;
  27. You let me thaw my frozen feet on the backs of your legs;
  28. You pretend right along with me that I’m perpetually only 29 years old;
  29. The sound of my snoring is actually comforting to you;
  30. Little kids are drawn to you like it’s the most natural thing in the world – you have “The Baby Fu”;
  31. You always encourage me to try new things;
  32. You think I’m smart enough to be a challenge to you;
  33. You know when to play it safe and can be prodded into taking a risk;
  34. My friends feel safe with you;
  35. The lines in your face and the way you shove your fingers in your hair are so, so sexy;
  36. You worry about people I care about;
  37. You love your siblings fiercely;
  38. You love me back;

Happy Birthday Mr. Amazing … I would have posted this on your actual birthday… but we are going to be on a plane!

What are you going to do next?? We’re going to Disneyland!!!!

Disney-Image-Mickey-Mouse

Sep 23 2013

Its the finer things…. really.

Author: Kerry

WARNING- THIS MAY ONLY BE FUNNY TO THE SLEEP DEPRIVED.

me:  I should grocery shop tonight…I so way don’t even want to!

Mr. Amazing:  I am really sorry (it’s what I say now right?)

me:   it’s cool… It just means you are getting fried chicken and potato logs for dinner

Mr. Amazing:   🙁

me:  So if that doesn’t sound good for dinner… what does

Mr. Amazing: Sounds good = tomatoes and cucumbers in vinegar with fancy cheese and crackers

me:  Oohhhh That sounds yummy… What else should I be buying… I gotta be honest… my head is not in the game… I don’t even know what that means

Mr. Amazing:   I was laughing when I read that  I imagined the announcer voice… “oooh Kerry’s heads not in the game, what d’ya think Chuck” “Well Bill, Kerry normally scores in the high 300s, today may be a down day.” “Well Chuck let’s hope that she can find the groove as she heads down to the frozen foods section”

me:  Really… I just pictured me standing in the middle of the fruit and veggie sections screaming FUMBLE! Wanna do some potatoes again?

Mr. Amazing:   lol, that sounds good

me:  What else sounds good…You be in charge dammit!

Mr. Amazing:  dammit- clam chowder in sourdough bread bowls

me:  Ohhhh that sounds good

Mr. Amazing:  spaghetti with beef tips and veggies in spicy sauce with aged mozzarella, capers and olives

me:  Uhhhhhhhh

Mr. Amazing:   with rosemary bread on the side

me:  BAHAHAHAHA! That’s the funniest shit you have said all day…I say fuck this whole shopping idea, we are eating at 7-11… Slurpee’s for dessert?

Mr. Amazing:  cannolis stuffed with spiced sausage and spices with noodles and marinara with myzithra cheese

me:  <headdesk>

Mr. Amazing:  with pistachio cheesecake and raspberry sauce

me:  Meow

Mr. Amazing:  and…

me:  You should have married your cookie wife if you didn’t want to eat at 7-11 for dinner

Mr. Amazing:   hand trimmed steaks marinated in lime chili sauce with rice and veggies in a light cheese/butter sauce with some sparkling spumante grape juice and some ice cream on top of homemade peach pie for desert

there, done… any other questions?

me:  Okay… Crack head… Taquitos then?

Mr. Amazing: :  ROFLMAO or you should get a super awesome job and I will stay home and cook and hire a maid to clean

me:  YOU should! I will stay home and boss her around… The maid

Mr. Amazing:   Like a BOSS

me:  She will have to cook too

Mr. Amazing:   lemon blueberry cheesecake with marscapone and whipped cream and lemon zest on top

me:  No Slurpee for you! you ingrate!

Mr. Amazing:  okay, okay I want a Slurpee and an all beef hot dog

me:  ROTFLMAO! I am not really going to 7-11 But I love that you settled … on dinner… on life… you know… in general

Mr. Amazing:  like I am going to lose my Slurpee

me:  BAHAHAHA!  Its the finer things in life that get us through

Mr. Amazing:   yes, like wine flavored soda pop

me: Exactly!

UPDATED – What he came home too:

download

Sep 16 2013

A day in the life…

Author: Kerry

mama kats Take a picture every hour and show us what a day in your life is like.

I haven’t been super bloggy like lately…… I’ve been having a rough go at things… I read back through my blog to Septembers past… and realize I am in the same place… that I always survive… that I always blog again… even though in this place it seems completely impossible to imagine surviving the next 48 hours…  I know I will… What is going on.. is it literally just drowning in memories? Is it the time of year. the change of seasons? is it all in my head? I do not really know where it comes from, if it is real or not… It is real enough feeling… I imagine being somewhere where I can shut down all my senses, all the noises, all light and touch… I imagine my brain not being able to think… … Just for a day… It is like walking through tar… if I stop walking it will settle and firm up…So I don’t… and just like this dark place was entered with no real reason… I will walk into the lighter place again… and my legs will be less heavy… and I will become more engaged in my surroundings again… I will not make any life changing decisions in this dark place… and I will not bring others to it with me…. It is going to be okay… It is always going to be okay…and this prompt sounded fun… So regardless of my feelings I keep moving… Here is what my day looks like today…

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I woke up… showered… got dressed… (Saved your life and didn’t take a picture that hour)… and got out the door. (7 am)

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Took my most adorable creeper to school…

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Made my 30 minute commute as the sun beamed its way through the clouds, and didn’t crash into the idiots taking pictures of the massive rainbow that made its debut in the morning traffic. (Take note: No Rainbow Picture!)

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 Finally arrived here where I will spend the next 9 hours of the day…. (8 am)

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Imagine this on repeat until 5 pm… Save me the trouble of reposting (I love my job, and I am grateful for it)

Tshirts

Mid-day jaunt through the warehouse to search for something that the warehouse manager & his adorable British accent are too busy to find…. 20 minutes of walking a creepy dark warehouse with thousands upon thousands of boxes…. then finding it under his desk… (FTW… WOOT!) (1 pm)

counter Nearing the 5 o’clock hour… I allow myself to watch the Disneyland count down… for a moment… or ten. (4 pm)

Finally… Made the drive home… decided to bag the whole preparing of food for the day…. (6 pm) Chinese it is!

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Here goes the night time routine…. Music Practice… Voice, Viola and Piano…

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Next is a shower (7 pm)

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This is the look Mr. Amazing gives me when I tell him I need his Mac to finish up my blog… because I have to blog each hour or I will forget… bahaha damn he is cute (8 pm)

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Feeding of the beasties!!! OMG we are almost there!!! (9 pm)

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Finally… My Sanctuary… Back in bed… See… I didn’t think I could do it… but not only did I do it… I did it with pictures!

Sweet Dreams!!! GoodNight!!! (10 pm)

 

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Jul 19 2013

Giant Gummy Say What??

Author: Kerry

 

Mr Amazing:

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Mr Amazing: This just doesn’t look right – looks like you could buy it at one of those “slumber parties”

 

wormBlueCherry_499.1

 

Me: UMM OMG OMG!!! You bought me that giant gummy coke right? RIGHT?

Mr Amazing: Nope, did you read my comment on the gummy worm?

Me: I read it… But I got sidetracked by the thought of that coke bottle!

Mr Amazing:

laffyTaffy_499

 

Me: Would you focus! GIANT GUMMY COKE BOTTLE!

((Gross on the giant gummy worm btw.))

Jul 14 2013

And then she was 7

Author: Kerry

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Dear Pretty Facey,

I cannot believe you are 7 years old today… The time certainly has
flown by… It hasn’t been very long that you’ve been in my life…
but I cannot remember (and do not want to) what life was like
without you… You are one of the best things that has ever happened
to me. And even when you drive me bonkers (something you love to do
because, let’s face it, you’re 7)… I still look at you and thank
the gods for giving me such a wonderful gift. My life changed in
the best way possible by making that commitment to spend my life
with YOU and your dad… You’ve kept me on my toes ever since… I
feel so privileged to be given a front row seat in watching you
grow up… Getting to play a supporting role in your life… Being
a step mom is something I didn’t know how to do… you taught me. I
enjoy our evening reading times… I love being the recipient of
all your beloved art (though I may eventually have to rent a
storage space just to have enough room for all the drawings!).
During these our years together I’ve watched you develop your
strong loudly spoken personality… and I’m proud of the girl
you’ve become. You are kind when you want to be… talkative
always… generous… compassionate… so full of love… energetic
without fail…. intelligent and a truly beautiful person inside
and out. You tell me often that you love me . Well, my darling step
daughter, I love you so much more than I counted on… You truly
are a blessing from above…. I am proud to be your friend. Happy
birthday, Sweetheart.

Jul 11 2013

ThemeSong Thursday…. Be okay today

Author: Kerry

A moment of clarity… in the middle of the busiest week of the summer… in the middle of everyone’s birthdays… in the midst of work… the flu… colds… eye infections.. pneumonia… ear infections… and the bloody noses that have taken up residence in our home… Today it came… a moment of clarity… and here is the themesong of the day… and I know that maybe I will be okay…

 

Jun 10 2013

6 Random Things you didn’t know about us… and probably wish you still didn’t

Author: Kerry

mama kats This Weeks Prompt: List 6 random facts about you and your husband.

Meet Mr. Amazing

Meet Mr. Amazing

#1 – If I disappear after this post… call the police … because he will kill me for posting this picture. Bahahahaha!!!

This is the man I married – Most people never actually meet him. He rarely makes public appearances and is usually replaced by his stunt double the ultra serious star trek loving over protective father and  ever so helpful husband… But this is who I spend the most time with.

Fair play is my middle name- here is a super embarrassing picture in trade

Fair play is my middle name- here is a super embarrassing picture in trade

#2 People often wonder why he puts up with my antics… But we like to call him the instigator… He took this picture… Yes, that is me, with my Edward doll under the mistletoe …

We saw the 2nd-4th twilight movies together… We hate them… but when with each other will laugh ourselves into some sore stomach muscles. Movies are our favorite thing to do together.

#3 He told me he loved me first… he did!

I totally tricked him into it. He fell for the whole “I think I am starting to fall in love with you” line and said the words to me… I made him say it again and again the next day …

I tricked him into asking me to marry him much the same way.

#4 We met each others children before we actually met each other – Now this is disputable only by the fact that my son was with me when they met.

I sat by the side of the pool with his ex-wife while he swam with the smalls. We didn’t exchange words.

#5 We were introduced to each other by his ex-wife …

Totally happened… Bahahahaha!

#6 We did everything very unconventionally from the beginning, we broke every rule…

we don’t have a song – We have countlesss nights staying up all night listening to music…

We don’t have a “place”…  we have all of the places… From the picnic table at the park… to every Indian restaurant in any city we have been too… every coffee shop… everywhere.

We didn’t have a wedding… in fact we didn’t know where to even have our little ceremony until two days prior … we wore jeans in a little art gallery on main street with our smalls and talls.. and few others…

I pretend to hate everything he loves … just to see him squinch his face up in frustration…

I pinch him … He tickles me… Sometimes I bite… He yells like a girl.

He pretends to love everything I love … Because when he loves … he does it so completely … that he will love what one loves …

We don’t so much argue and fight… as get insecure and get skittish around each other…

We know each other… better than we know ourselves…

We are ridiculously stubborn …

I would like to think we strive towards making each other better people… I know I am better just for having known him.

We belong together…

Like this

Like this

May 24 2013

… He wears the pants… literally

Author: Kerry

Mr. Amazing:  I know who wears the pants in this house

me:  It is you!

Mr. Amazing: me?

me:  Unless it comes to activity planning

Mr. Amazing: or dinner

me:  You wear the pants

Mr. Amazing:  or cleaning

or…

 me:  Well… you bring home the bacon?

Mr. Amazing:  wait, what am I in charge of?

me:  I fry it up in a pan? and never ever let you forget your a man… Like that… Feminists everywhere are combusting spontaneously and they dont know why

Mr. Amazing:  never ever let me forget I’m a man? really? you just typed that?

 me:  Its a song!

Mr. Amazing:  how do you remind me that I’m a man, exactly?

me:  The song said it!

Mr. Amazing:  hold up

me:  No no no… you hold up!

Mr. Amazing:  so you are quoting lyrics from a song

me:  You made me type that… I blame you

Mr. Amazing:  but not with intentions of meaning what you are typing.

 me:  that whole pants in the family bull shit

Mr. Amazing: lol you are just upset because everyone thinks you run this house

me:  I am actually! Because I don’t! You all do, and I just help you do it right ROTFLMAO!

Mr. Amazing: I could disappear for a year and people would barely notice I was gone

me:  Liar! You know that isnt true

Mr. Amazing: the dishes would be done, the house would be spotless

you could have a robot leave paper towels in random locations

and leave clothes in the bathrooms

and watch TV

 me:  I totally would never buy that robot, Just sayin

Mr. Amazing:  they may notice the lack of paper and mess

me:  This is all on you… You are as big of a contributor as you choose to be

Mr. Amazing: from now on, only I wear that pants

(Click on image for a better look)

dresses

 me:  I AM SOOOO BLOGGING THAT! OMG!