On the last day of school each year we pick the smalls up from school with the car already packed and head out for the lake… and what a weekend it was!
Jun
04
2014
smiffbib
socially acceptable f@#% off!
Mr Amazing
May
20
2014
Having your cake and eating it too…
A blog post inspired by the word: sweet
Okay… I will be honest… I read through the prompts this week and just couldn’t come up with a single thing… So I went to my fall back and depended on others to make the magic happen, and by magic I mean cake!
me: I want cake
Mr. Amazing: LOL that was random
me: Random yes… but true still …in fact, even more than cake… I want pie
Mr. Amazing: 
me: okay… fuck pie… I want that cake
Mr. Amazing: ROFL
me: these things are important dear!
Mr. Amazing: should I stop by the bakery on the way home? ROFL
me: I dont think the bakery will have that cake…And now that I have seen it… nothing else will do…I should show it to The Cookie wife LMAO!
Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO it is butter-cream with lemon curd and fresh raspberries
http://dailydel
me: Cookie Wife… we need to have a serious talk…
I know cookies is your thing… I get that…
I married into the idea…. but… I NEED this cake
CookieWife: LOL!! It looks tasty!!
me: I NEED it, from the very pit of my soul!
it is butter-cream with lemon curd
and fresh raspberries
Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO
me: Why is everyone laughing! This is serious! clear to the pit of my soul I NEED that cake …. BAHAHAHA
Mr. Amazing: Why are you laughing then?
me: because I am deranged…. I part of my soul is missing… I think its that cake!
CookieWife: Where’s the recipe???
me: http://dailydel
CookieWife: It has GRAM and CELSIUS measurements!!!
Where did you find it??
me: LOL! I just saw the pic and hunted it down ROTFL!
CookieWife: If you convert all the measurements, I’ll bake it! 
me: SHADDUP! I will get Mr Amazing in on this…
me: It has GRAM and CELSIUS measurements!!!
If you convert all the measurements, She’ll bake it!
MR AMAZING!! I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO http://www.onli
me: Quick! Find me another cake…
UPDATE!!!These magical little goodies showed up at my office today… they are Lemon Curd and Fresh Raspberries on Shortcake? I think… They were divine! I have the coolest life ever. That is all
Apr
23
2014
Who’s got two thumbs and bought FanX/ComicCon tickets! This Girl!
I wanted to do something fun for small child… all of his friends were going… so when he asked… ofcourse I told him they were sold out…
I then showed up at his school with a sonic screwdriver made a quick stop at a thrift store…He dressed as Dr. Who and the greatest day ever proceeded to happen
At one point I was concerned that we were just walking around.. not really accomplishing anything… I asked him if he wanted to attend any panels… because I didnt want him to feel like he was just walking around… he looked at me and exclaimed “THIS IS AWESOME!” So we continued to walk around and see everything.
Besides… Only at FanX – Comic con can this Easter Picture be created… and be honest… it is the greatest one you have ever seen!
Apr
09
2014
Captain America?? Yes Please
Mar
24
2014
Totes… This is my jam!!!
Mr. Amazing: ILTIS is going to be my new “catch all response”
me: Huh?
Mr. Amazing: I laughed ’til I stopped – ILTIS or Iltis
me: LOL You are killing me… You need sleep
Mr. Amazing: Iltis
me: Quit that, every time you type it all I see is the word tits
Mr. Amazing: iltis – it’s my new jam
me: BAHAHAHA
Mr. Amazing: IMNJ or IMJ – I like it IMJ – iltis
me: Crazy Pants
Mr. Amazing: IMJ baby
me: Im done talking to you until you say words… words that mean things
Mr. Amazing: I know, it’s difficult to parse
me: you are grounded
Mr. Amazing: from difficult parsing?
me: LOL you are a brat
Mr. Amazing: my vocabulary diversity increases when I am drowsy
me: So does the humor I find in you.
Mr. Amazing I am 100% humor free certified and guaranteed
me: No, Quite the opposite
Mr. Amazing: is 520 calories a low-calorie drink?
me: Ummmm No
Mr. Amazing: Oh – iltis
me: LMAO! I am tearing those letters off your keyboard
Mr. Amazing: IMJ Kerry
me: A JAM IS A SONG!
Mr. Amazing: IMJ
me: LMAO!!! You are going to be the death of me… literally
Mr. Amazing: I am broadening a colloquial term for personal and casual use that may have an alternate and beneficial effect of causing irritation in others – IMJ
me: no… just no
Mr. Amazing: JS, IMJ (just sayin’) that just happened
me: ROTFLMAO!!!
Mr. Amazing: TJH, OMG, TJH, IMJ, JS
me: Quit it!!
Mr. Amazing: OK
me: LOL
Mr. Amazing: iltis
me: You are making me laugh so hard there are tears
Mr. Amazing: I’m sorry JS – IS … HFS, IS, that’s totes IMJ
me: I cant even keep up any more… and you are too old to say totes
Mr. Amazing: (Holy Fucking Shit) HFS it’s gonna be a thing JS
me: Thats it… Blogging it
Mr. Amazing: HFS, TJH, fo sho
This is my favorite pic of Mr. Amazing in all the world… JS…
Mar
21
2014
I love it when he talks dirty to me…
Chat 🙂
me: I am buying “King Sized” Muffin tins on amazon… that is all… Imma make all kinds of stuff in those things… I found more ideas… some include yummy dinner things
Mr. Amazing: lol dinner muffins
me: Mini Meatloafs dude! Its gonna happen (Those are words I never ever thought I would say… ever… I have made it a point to NEVER make meatloaf)
Mr. Amazing: Ugh
me: But actually… I was thinking this little taco recipe… LOL and there are other things… chicken bakes… etc.
Mr. Amazing: tacos and muffins – seems suspicious
me: Bahahaha Just go with it… im cooking shit… its a miracle
Mr. Amazing: I was more thinking that with all of this talk about tacos and muffins…
me: What!.. what ya gonna say? LOLOLOL!
Mr. Amazing: Urban Dictionary … that is all
me: BAHAHAHA!
Mr. Amazing:Any number of possibly insulting, more than likely crude, nsfw and otherwise inappropriate comments may ensue (that would be a hilarious tagline for smiffbib)
me: YES! Yes it would!
Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO
I totally made these btw. My Cookie Wife would be so proud!!!
9 Grain Bread, Cage Free Brown Eggs, Swiss Cheese, and Turkey Bacon.
Mar
07
2014
Fat Tuesday on Funday Friday :)
Technically this is just a bunch of Gibberish… but it makes me laugh… really there are even two morals to this story…. Bread and Butter Pickles are Nasty…. and Mr Amazing swears a lot when lacking sleep.
Mr. Amazing: today is dragging so bad that the day itself is literally sad
me: Its so sad its comfort eating… that is why its Fat Tuesday
Mr. Amazing: Fat Tuesday is literally a giant horrible sad monster baby crying for it’s mama
me: and its mama is a doughnut!
Mr. Amazing: literally
me: I want one
Mr. Amazing: I literally went out on a limb with that one
me: Bahahaha
Mr. Amazing: irregardless of the mama doughnut
me: We should get doughnuts
Mr. Amazing: LOL I am figuratively a horrible person
me: You are full of all the words
Mr. Amazing: irregardless literally bothers me to death
me: Your words make me wanna throat punch you
Mr. Amazing: so does “aint’ got none”
me: OH OH! how about “Aint nobody gots time fo dat!”
Mr. Amazing: one doughnut and a side of pithy sarcasm
me: instead- I am feeding you a hot dog for dinner… and your gonna like it
Mr. Amazing: use gonna like it
me: With chips on the side- I am literally not cooking shit
Mr. Amazing:good, because I really, really, really want to avoid you literally cooking shit
me: BAHAHAHA
Mr. Amazing: in fact, compared to literal shit, hot dogs seem pretty okay
me: Thats why I present it that, we helps with expectations
Mr. Amazing: Yes, thanks for lower my expectations to a reasonable (if not menial) level
me: I have hotdog buns… its a gourmet meal
Mr. Amazing: Oh yeah!
me: I dont even wanna eat the hot dogs
Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO Hows about with pickles and sauerkraut
me: Maybe with Sauerkraut but… even then im not so sure… maybe smothered in Nacho Cheese
Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO that sounds nasty
me: I like cheese (Stating the obvious is my super power)
Mr. Amazing: General Obvious?
me: Ahem… Captain….Obviously
Mr. Amazing: Fine… Captain Obvious I got paid!
me: OH! (We still have to eat the hotdogs, or the buns will go stale)
Mr. Amazing: Okay But we can have dessert…. <evil laughter>
me: LOL! Actually- If you send me money… I might really go buy Saurkraut
Mr. Amazing: OMG – Day… Fucking END
me: 14 minutes
Mr. Amazing: Seriously, I am about to BITCH slap FAT Tuesday
me: ROTFLMAO!!! I CANNOT believe you just said that
Mr. Amazing: I am laughing at my desk like an idiot
me: Ditto
Mr. Amazing: Kerry… I can’t stop
me: Do you want chili for your hot dogs? You need sleep
Mr. Amazing: I want mustard
me: we have mustard
Mr. Amazing: and pickles
me: Uhhhh Im not sure where we are the pickle front
Mr. Amazing: cuz I think the we have the… “It’s a TRAP!!!”
pickles in the fridge the bread and butter tastes like shit evil pickles of doom
Fuck you Bread n’ Butter pickles… Fuck you….
me: ROTFLMAO! Gimme your monies! I will buy you pickles… and destroy the enemy ones
Feb
25
2014
Slurpees on Saturday.
Me: Saturday is all good to go still. If <insert adorable niece anonymity here> falls off the bed, imma punch her in da face… I am ready for a night with no kiddos I think…
Mr. Amazing: OMG I know, Lots of kids. Thanks for asking, I appreciate it, It will be nice to have a night with just the two of us, That way I can upset you without the smalls mocking me
me: Bahahaha!!! Sounds like a romantic evening
Mr. Amazing: Well, we all know the universal constant, I will do something stupid
me: No uh, you do not…Quit that…You are amazing and I miss having slurpees with you
Mr. Amazing: lol we have a night scheduled for it now
me: ROTFL!
Mr. Amazing: Let me just pencil that in
me: BAHAHAH! I was just trying to make you blush!
Mr. Amazing: There, I put it on the calendar
me: You behave
Mr. Amazing: Slurpees with wife between 10 PM and 8 AM
me: That long?
Mr. Amazing: Just covering my bases
me: BAHAHAH! okay okay, stop
Mr. Amazing: I wouldn’t want something to get scheduled on top of that
me: Oh comeon! just once let me shock you!
Mr. Amazing: I am shocked
me: bratface
Mr. Amazing: seriously though it’s scheduled I set a 1 hour reminder It’s a new moon on the 1st That’s also on my calendar
me: ROTFLMAO!
Mr. Amazing: it just says “Slurpees with Wife”
me: ROTFLMAO! You know whats gonna happen now dontcha?
Mr. Amazing: We won’t be able to I’m taking it off of my calendar just in case no offense
me: ROTFL!!! Im Blogging this!
Mr. Amazing: No you are not
me: Ummmm Still blogging it
Mr. Amazing nope I don’t need my mother to know what my slurpee schedule is, Oh Jeebus don’t blog it
I am going to create a blog called”Don’t Blog It!”
me: What if I swap out the word sex for slurpees!!!
Feb
19
2014
These Boys…
Feb
18
2014
… Sweet Escape
The snow is melting… patches of dirty… blackened snow still hides in the corners of the yard… but the muddy trampled looking grass is underneath… I am sure we will get layered again… but the majority of it is gone. The air is a little clearer… the sky a little bluer… the temperature a little warmer… we have been trapped inside… watching entirely too much TV… I start thinking about swimming pools… walks around the lake… and weekends at the big lake! These things are coming! I feel like everything gets a little lighter in my world.
But where I truly want to be is the Ocean… even more specific … Morro Bay… With the waves crashing against Morro rock… It is my favorite place in the entire world… and I have been to many corners of the world… Paris… Lisbon… Moscow… Maui…. all of these are not as appealing to me right this moment as a day in Morro Bay…
I would start the day with a latte from the small coffee/ice cream parlor on atascadero street… then park on the beach side of the rock… I would let the smalls run until they couldn’t run anymore… watching for Jelly fish that are sometimes spawning on the sand… searching out shells… and I would just sit… there at the curve created by the sandbar and the giant rock…. and watch the sun light the water that rolls lazily onto the sand… I would rent a kite from the kite shop directly across the street behind me… if the wind is strong… and fly that monstrous thing as high as it can go…. I would take the kids to see the junk house… the aquarium… Mr amazing and the smalls could play a game on the life-sized chess board… and we could stop at the shell shop… to buy little creatures made out of shells for our friends back home… I would visit my grandparents memorial… I miss them so much sometimes… everyday… My Grandfather would be so proud of Small Child and the man he is becoming… he would have adored Mr. Amazing…. My Grandmother would love smallest child… and all of her energy. We would walk through the Eucalyptus Trees… we would head to Los Osos for the most amazing clam chowder and walk the entire pier….
We would eat sauerkraut at Hauffbras… We would shop… in all those touristy t-shirt shops… and trinket shops… we would visit the sea lions… hundreds of them in a protected cove that can be seen from the highway above…. We would see Hearst castle up there on the hill… but skip the tour… because it is gaudy and boring.
We would end our day back on the beach… exhausted surely by this point… and dip our toes in the cold water… perhaps if we are lucky we would see the otters… they hold hands when they sleep so they don’t lose each other…. We should all hold hands more…
Imagine if we had a second day… We would head to San Luis Opisbo… and Moon Stone Beach…. with a third day… the vineyards and wines in Paso Robles… But those I will save for another blog…
One day… I will get there.
