Mr Amazing

Aug 31 2012

… Meg and the Tomatillo Enchiladas (Sounds like a childs book)

Author: Kerry
Me: In the oven at this moment is green tomatillo enchilada magic…. You owe meg
         uh  Me… Not meg
         I don’t even know who meg is
         If you know a meg… You don’t owe her… You owe me
Mr Amazing: lol I owe Meg, got it
Me: Nooooo not meg… I will kick Meg’s ass.
Mr Amazing: lol
Mr Amazing: Okay…
Me: Is this meg? I found her on my iPad
Mr Amazing: Oh shit, She doesn’t mean anything to me
                            I promise
             Neither does things one I suppose
Mr Amazing: Nope, not a thing
Me: You’re a floozy

Mr Amazing: I have been called many things
Me: Yeah.. Well My iPad is full of em
Mr Amazing: Lazy, annoying, cold, cruel, mean, forgetful, depressing, killjoy
  but never “floozy”
Me: Well.. There you go
  There’s a first for everything
(Try making those magic enchiladas meg!!! Good luck with that!!! I’m posting the recipe only to show off that I can now use a stove… incase you read my other post)
Chicken green tomatillo enchiladas.
This recipe is a great enchilada sauce, if you wanted little more spicy, throw in extra jalapenos. it will make about 8 enchiladas. 2 per person.
Number of Servings: 4
Ingredients
8 flour tortillas
4 oz mozzarela
shredded chicken breast 12 oz
Canned Tomatillos (large)
Sour cream (One pint (I use the substitute))
1 Can chicken broth
Directions
*Boil chicken breast for about 30 min. shredd the meat.
*boil green tomatillos,peppers,garlic for about 10 min.
*add to blender broth, tomatillos, sourcream.
medium deep pan add the tomatillo sauce as a bottom layer
Roll Tortillas with chicken and cheese. add a little more sauce on top and put some cheese on top of enchiladas.
Enjoy! (Bake at 375 til melted and gooey and bubbling)
Aug 03 2012

… The Never Ending Nipple

Author: Kerry
me:  Ummmm The universe wants to marry me, and wants me to have this ring.
Mr. Amazing:  Tell the Universe to fuck off, you’re taken
 me:  LMAO
Mr. Amazing:  But if the universe wants to give you a ring that’s different
 me:  I think it wants me to have that ring!!
Mr. Amazing:  .01 carat diamonds… 1% of a nice diamond
 me:  its a snake… did you miss that part… the snake…
Mr. Amazing:  black rhodium snake
 me:  It wants me to wear it!
Mr. Amazing:  
That’s what I want
 me:  That is awesome… but really… where would you wear that ROTFLMAO! Like giant bling on your chest to work?
Mr. Amazing:  I would wear it all the  time, I would call it a religious talisman and start to cry if someone asked about it and then stare up into the sky and fake meditate Latin words
 me:  ROTFLMAO!
 Mr. Amazing:  I want that now, I would wear it under my shirt and tell them it was my sacred necklace
 me:  I would get you a long enough chain that it would look like a nipple
a never ending nipple
 me:  If I had a tattoo gun… you would never be safe to sleep again… you would have oracle nipples
Mr. Amazing:  oracle? why oracle? what does that even mean?
 me:  The southern oracle… The two halves… Im naming your nipples
 Mr. Amazing: and why would you have a tatoo gun
 me:  it could happen
 Mr. Amazing  the Southern oracle that would be a bad ass tattoo
 me:  Your nip could be the eye
that opens and kills people if they are afraid, and they will all be afraid
Mr. Amazing:  LOL I would be afraid
Mr. Amazing:  I like that Auryn medallion, The universe wants me to have it
 me:  The universe speaks in mysterious ways
Mr. Amazing: yes, yes it does
Jul 14 2012

… And finally… I get to play the part of Your Evil Wicked Stepmom…

Author: Kerry

Happy Birthday Smallest Child….

The first time we ever met, you were two … Even though your dad and I weren’t even dating then, I knew, deep down, that I was going to be part of your life…. The thought scared me a little but excited me more.. I feel so lucky that you like me… I think you even love me…

Now you are six and you are growing up so fast!

Sometimes I wish time would freeze and you would always be small, because I treasure this time with you….  I love it when we’re in the car and you talk to me about things that are important to you….  I know you don’t really talk to just anyone about stuff that’s hard on you… and I’m so glad you trust me and want to share…. I hope you will always talk to me about things that matter to you.

I Love Thursdays… When you come home… I missed you too … I always do on the days we don’t see you… Sometimes it’s really hard not to see you every day!

I cherish your small hand in mine, and when you climb in my lap… When we are doing fun things together I try to memorize everything so that I can hold on to the memories when you are grown… I hope I never forget how small and cute and wonderful you are! Sometimes you just crack me up…  It also makes me laugh that you seem to have a strange and incessant desire to push buttons…You can be so silly sometimes, and I love to hear your giggle…. I adore the way you laugh, it makes me laugh in return every time.

I know things will probably not always be as easy as they are now, and maybe our relationship won’t always be so positive…. I have a feeling your teenage years are going to be rough on all of us…. But I hold onto the hope that you and I are laying an early foundation of love, trust, and respect that will last…. I cherish you more than I ever thought possible…. I hope you always know that.

So I will continue to help from the sidelines… I will continue to help in any way I can… I will continue to love you

Happy Birthday Pretty Facey

Jun 26 2012

Alright stop …collaborate & listen…..

Author: Kerry

This time last year I was blogging about  my stomach doing somersaults of fear… dread rising in the back of my throat…. agitated…. unable to sleep….small child going to his summer visitation…

When he is gone… I cling to my phone… he texts me frequently out of boredom…. he is getting older… and therefore less willing to admit he wants his mom… but he gets weepy with my calls at night to wish him sweet dreams after only a day or two… We begin counting the days til he is back home…

Home.. That is what is different from this time last year…  My blog home is not the only place that changed… we moved into a house… and I moved my thoughts here…

I married Mr. Amazing followed by Smallest Child, Small Child, Mr. Amazing and I residing together… along with the dog… the cat… the two frozen dead fish…

Tiniest Child arrived safe and sound to Tall Child …

Small Child has had some personal changes as well… His voice cracked at voice lessons this week… and he giggled about it… Zits are erupting on his cute little button nose…. Hair… in places it wasn’t before…

He leaves for visitation in 35 hours …I’m terrified every moment he is gone… there are so many issues  … alcohol consumption… pornography… a hand gun… no gun safe…. supervision…. nutrition… cleanliness… that he will have to combat with his dad…

<insert scream here>

he loves his dad… but he is scared of him as well… but this being the fourth summer visitation… it is so far the shortest time his dad has requested…. ten days…. and then another week sometime in august….

I noticed him hugging a little longer a few days ago… as well as building a few extra walls around himself….

I noticed myself doing the same thing…

Our family has completely changed… again… since this time last year… I look to the next year…

Brought to you by… Lack of sleep… panic attacks… and Mama Kats Prompt….

Jun 22 2012

… Icepack in bras & bras for balls… I’m thinking we could be famous…

Author: Kerry
My Facebook Status: … Boob sweat… And that’s all I have to say about the first day of hades… I mean… summer…
G-Chat
me: I posted about boob sweat in my status update… see… my life is really complete
Mr Amazing: Well, now I think it is complete  Boob sweat is way better than ball sweat
me:  And now I am giggling at my desk
Mr Amazing:  <— sleep deprived
me:  Note to self: purchase baby powder
Mr Amazing:  Seriously, two words: testicular cancer, Talc isn’t our friend
me:  You all act like your balls would be worse than boobs… Which are just BIGGER balls… higher up!
Mr Amazing:  boobs don’t have small semi-hard balls inside a fluid sack that is constantly being squeezed between two thighs
me:  Glands! They have Glands!
Mr Amazing:  glands being squeezed by?
me:  More Glands! and a bra!
Mr Amazing:  bras are just there to help support men don’t get support, they get uncomfortable wedging
me:  Support to a 16-year-old… is squeeze and hoist the sails to a 30-year-old
Mr Amazing: ditto
me:    Touche …. but that just gives them breathing room
Mr Amazing:  between your leg, your pants crotch, and what? now imagine the guys in skinny jeans those guys are total retards and I can guarantee you they will be infertile
me:  icepack in bras… and bras for balls… im thinking we could be famous
Mr Amazing: There should be a brand of jeans called “infertile blues” underwear with ball bra (infertile blues was funny, just sayin’)
me:  Ummm So tolman says… in the next chat window over….
Tolman:  OMG!!! I would think ball sweat, for sure!  I just can’t imagine how unpleasant it would be!  And who would really care if a woman is wiping her sweaty breasts off?? If a man wipes his sweaty balls off, he can get arrested!
Mr Amazing:  I love her, she understands all you can do is cowardly attempt to move the fabric of your jeans in a vain attempt to fix matters
me:  <speechless>
Mr Amazing:  oh god
me: I think you might be exaggerating
Mr Amazing:  I should stop talking to you
Men! I don’t even understand how they walk around with those things!
Jun 20 2012

… Insomnia … It sometimes craves candy.

Author: Kerry
G-Chat (Day three no sleepy)
Mr Amazing:  I am just struggling to not fall asleep. I think I need caffeine
 me:  probably
Mr Amazing:  they have a rack of gummies, like 30 kinds
me:  Shut the front door… what kind …who is they
Mr Amazing:  Toasters, it is where I acquire chai tea latte
me:  Hmph
Mr Amazing: they have all kinds of stuff and all kinds of german chocolate, like this cherry yogurt chocolate, I have never gotten it
me:  Gummies… get to the gummies… what kind of gummies
Mr Amazing:  lol, they have coke bottle, they have all kinds, like tons
 me:  Take a picture
Mr Amazing:  lol okay  it’ll be a minute
 me:  I think it is unfair that I am in Hell… whilst you are in chai gummy land
Mr Amazing:  Uh
….
I am in chai gummy land?
 me:  Yes
Mr Amazing:  chai gummy land
 me:  Chai Gummy Land
Mr Amazing:  chai gummy land?
 me:  Its like candy land… but serves chai tea
Mr Amazing:  okay…
 me:  If i walk outside my building… I have no chai gummy magic place to go… I have Envirofacts
Mr Amazing:  lol, they moved didn’t they?
 me:  You get the point… no one is making me chai over there
Mr Amazing:  uh…Do you want to drive through Starbucks? Is that what you are saying,  for an iced chai? you only have an hour-ish left
 me:  Valid point… I think you should surprise me with Indian food for dinner… and gummy frogs
Mr Amazing: Really? ROFL
 me:  I think I am delirious… I think my face is melting off my skull
Mr Amazing: that sounds attractive
 me:  LMAO
Mr Amazing:  my face is melting off my skull
 me:  this is what happens when I dont sleep for days… this is past the giggly day… past the crying day…to the face melting day
Mr Amazing:  there are variants
 me:  like different strands of mutation disease?
Mr Amazing:  yeah, just like that
 me:  Unless you can make gummy frogs, chai tea, and icecream appear on my desk right now.. Im not really listening to you anyways
Mr Amazing:  gummy frogs? that is what you are craving? more than coke bottle?
 me:  Actually sharks… but I dont know if they have them… I dont have a picture!
Mr Amazing: or peach rings lol I haven’t left yet
 me:  Gummy sharks… or octopie!
Mr Amazing: octo pie? what the hell?
 me:  Octopi … Octopusses
Mr Amazing:  what the hell
 me:  ROTFLMAO!
Mr Amazing:  octo pussy?
 me:  They make them MISTER! Gummy Octopi!
Mr Amazing:  octopussy gummy
 me:  Its real
Mr Amazing:  uh huh so are marsians
 me:  do you think that have gummy martians?
Mr Amazing:  probably
 me:  Mmmmmm martians
Mr Amazing:  shouldn’t they be called marsians? they aren’t from mart
 me: NO!  Ooohhhh do you remember those gummy tarantulas??? OMG … OH EMMMMMM GEEEEE
Mr Amazing:  
 me:  THOSE ARE JUST BEARS!!!
Mr Amazing:  Those fucks
 me:  LMAO!
Mr Amazing: 
 me:  ahhhhhhhhhh butterflies!!!
Jun 18 2012

… Polka Dot Polka Dot Polka Dot

Author: Kerry

Took smallest child and Mr. Amazing to see Madagascar 3 for Fathers Day… Adorable… Dont be put off by the fact that it is the third one… We all know the reputation they get… Just trust the Marketing Genius that put that together… Alex, Marty, Gloria and Melman are still fighting to get home to their beloved Big Apple. Their journey takes them through Europe where they find the perfect cover: a traveling circus, which they reinvent – Madagascar style…. It has that little bundle of pink cuteness giggling… Mr amazing giggling… and me dancing…. Da da da da da da da da circus… da da da da dada da da afro… circus afro… circus.. afro….

Jun 13 2012

One might ask how… (Wordless Wednesday)

Author: Kerry

Mr. Amazing, The boot, and I all saw a movie Sunday night… Somehow managed to get out of the house without noticing I wasnt wearing a shoe on the other foot… He looked at me horrified when I realized as my barefoot hit the pavement in the parking lot… I just tucked a hand on his arm and said “Just don’t look at it, No one will notice”

(Pics or it didn’t happen!!! Ha ha! I took the pic as the screen was telling me to shut off my phone!)

Jun 12 2012

Super Hero Against Retrieving Porn (SHARP) … Nerds love acronyms

Author: Kerry
Mr Amazing:  My computer barfed – Did I miss anything?
 me:  Barfed? That’s a horrible word
Mr Amazing:  Did you smile though? Or are you just mortified?
 me:   Of Course… I snorted
Mr Amazing:   lol
 me:  So I hate to tell you this.. I was looking at what gets read the most on my blog…. Top Ten spots… our g-chats
 Mr Amazing:   lol, ridiculous
 me:  ROTFL!
Mr Amazing:   that is because you mention crap you should not, and it is from porn searches, or I mention rather and you post it … Spitzer’s
Clothing Colony for instance
 me:  oh come on… It’s not like I go around typing in crap like “Happy Endings” to come up in search engines
Mr Amazing:   lol
 me:  Bahahaha!
Mr Amazing:   yeah, no mention of clit or vagina
 me:  I know right? Or uterus
Mr Amazing:   lol, perfect
 me:  I usually throw a couple of politicians in there… Like Romney has a Uterus (serious? he should be so lucky!)…Or… President Romney means no Happy Endings for Americans …ROTFLMAO!…OMG!
Mr Amazing:   lol
 me:  I just died… seriously… that was hysterical
Mr Amazing:   President Romney’s four-year massage will not come with a happy ending…
 me:  bahahahaha!!! That would just be wrong… wrong to post things like that and divert people searching those things to my meaningless nonsense blog
Mr Amazing:   It seems to me like a good thing
 me:  Right? I’m really just trying to help out! do my part… I’m kind of a super hero… In the keyword porn fighting arena… Search Term Super Hero
Mr Amazing:   ROFLMAO you should post that… as a post
 me:  Oh yeah, Like im not already highlight this G Chat gold! and pasting it in my blog
Mr Amazing:   Oh God
 me:  G-chat… Not G-String
Mr Amazing:   You could just post an idea … Rather than copying my words verbatim to a blog
 me:  Ha ha! My readers love you
Mr Amazing:   I hope you at least fix my spelling errors
 me:  (always)  and this time! it was me being funny! that’s never happened before!
Mr Amazing:  Super Hero Against Retrieving Porn (SHARP) Nerds love acronyms
 me:  ROFL! oh great… okay now its all about you again
<Spongebob voice> Five minutes later
Mr Amazing:  Nerds Against The Use of Rhetorical Acronymous Lingo (NATURAL)
 me:  That took you a while didn’t it LMAO
Mr Amazing:  lol, it did but I am against myself doing it