As Tall As Lions… Love Love Love
I hope all of you … and yours… are having the most amazingly wonderful Holiday!
Grateful.
Nov
22
2012
smiffbib
socially acceptable f@#% off!
Mr Amazing
Nov
20
2012
Humble and Grateful
We’re going around the table and it’s your turn to share what you are thankful for…go!
- the fact that I’ve been given some bit of awareness… of spiritual awakeness
- my humor … twisted and sick as it is.
- my friends … Everyone says this… but in all honesty… My friends are magic… They are like the cast to a B sci-fi movie… and I truly love them with all of my heart
- my family … All of them, The smalls, and the distant
- my husband … Mr. Amazing
- whatever talent I have as a writer that perhaps lets me help a few people
- the opportunity to experience life from this vantage … it is unique
- the insane overabundant beauty of nature … especially the rain and the moon.
- a roof over my head and food on my table
- an inquisitive mind that is easily amused and delighted
- my surrogate family… with whom I spend many holidays … including this upcoming Thanksgiving
- my love of music of almost all types… (except Country music which makes me want to stab my eyes with a fork) …which entertains me … and often… brings me happiness.
- you … whomever you are… however you got here… today as I type this… I am so grateful for you.
Your Turn … What are you thankful for? … Pass the wine!
Nov
13
2012
“Actually, this seems to be the basic need of the human heart in nearly every great crisis – a good hot cup of coffee.” Alexander King
I thought I would throw another post in the writer’s workshop ring… I love this group… even if I don’t participate every week… The prompts inspire me and I have found some of the most amazing blogs because of it! This week I am writing from the prompt
“List 5 things that bring you comfort”
For as stressed out… anxious… sleep deprived as I get… I have just as many small peace of mind moments.
Melt your face off Mondays– It is something Mr. Amazing and I started while dating… Monday night dinner dates… We eat Indian food every week… Often times (like last night) whether it is good for us or not… He orders the Chicken Tikka, I, the Paneer Tikka… we rarely vary… sometimes I add a glass of wine… we rotate which establishment we get it from… sometimes we eat out… sometimes we eat in and watch bones… (eating in is my favorite, because unlike myself, Mr. Amazing cannot look at a dead body and eat at the same time and makes all kinds of entertaining faces.) We have been doing this for close to three years … I never get tired of the food. It is magic.
Sleepy Time Tea– I know there is actually a tea named this… but that isn’t what I am referring to… I make a mean cup of tea… Small Child, Mr. Amazing and I… whomever else wants some… at least a couple times a week drink tea before bed… Rose Hip , Lemon Grass, Chamomile, Valerian Root… whatever we fancy that night… Sometimes loose… sometimes not… everyone takes theirs a different way… and we each have a favorite mug… and we drink tea. It is soothing.. and good for you.
David Lanz – It happens… I become inconsolable… I cry until my eyes are swollen shut… I let things build and build until I completely lose it over something as simple as could be…. This makes everything bearable again.. if only for a moment.
Twitter – I know that is ridiculous… but have you ever been laying in bed… your head running a marathon… unable to focus long enough to get sucked into a book… panicking about not being able to sleep… I hold my phone like a life line… and twitter myself to sleep… I follow the most awesome people… This works well for those early morning wake ups as well… They don’t even know how many nights their silly tweets have saved me from sleepless nights…
Small Child – His smile… His smell… His goofy little dance… knowing he is sleeping in his bed safe and sound with a crazy cat on his chest… the sound of him practicing his instruments… everything is better with him than without him… everything seems conquerable… achievable… ruffling up his hair that needs cutting so badly… folding his clothes with him and putting them away… cooking him a his favorite meal… watching his favorite shows. Everything about him comforts me. 
Of course there are many more things… my friends… candles… painting… hoodies… pajama pants … coffee!!
Have any other good ideas? let me know!
Nov
06
2012
Election night at Starbucks
Flip flops, pajama pants, Mr Amazing… Jealous much?
Nov
02
2012
… Get ready to lose your appetite
I can’t believe I am saying this already … but … I am.
Happy Anniversary Mr Amazing.
On 11-11-12 we will have been married for a whole year.
It’s here.
And it came fast. Just look how times flies.
We are no longer newlyweds… in the traditional sense of the term.
We are now just an old married couple.
And I love it.
I love waking up next to your handsome face each day. I love falling asleep beside you each night. I love crashing on the couch with you after a long day. I love sneaking sweets with you… when we both know we shouldn’t be… but are anyways. I love knowing that I can be myself around you. And I love knowing that you are yourself around me. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I love your kind eyes. I love your big hands. I love your unruly hair that tickles me when you kiss me. I love your teasing me when I misspell and mispronounce certain words. I love the look you get on your face when you concentrate. I love the way your bottom lip gets sucked in when you think too hard. I love the snort laugh you burst out only while watching TV. I love you.
Thank you for being my best friend… Thank you for being my biggest supporter and most constant fan. Thank you for working so hard for our family. Thank you for spoiling me. Thank you for making my world a better place. Thank you for being you.
The best thing I ever did was marry you. I will never regret it. I can’t wait to see what the next year holds for us. We have been so busy making adjustments to our new little family in the past year… I can’t imagine it being any better … but somehow it always is.
Oct
22
2012
Listen… If I tell you I shaved my legs… Im hitting on you..
G-Chat
me: I vote we go pick up Indian together when you get home…. I shaved my legs this morning
Mr. Amazing: you shaved, so we should go to Indian? trying to understand the logic
What would have happened if you didn’t shave?
me: Noooooo …. listen… If I tell you I shaved my legs… Im hitting on you
Mr. Amazing: if I tell you that I shaved my legs, I am hitting on you?
me: Yes!
Mr. Amazing: And I shaved my legs haphazardly with my fingernails, how hot is that?
me: Uhhhh okay… I think my leg hair is growing in.
Mr. Amazing: wha? already? damn it
me: I am left speechless
Mr. Amazing: Well the alternative is I get take out and then eat Indian at home, or just not get take out at all
me: Noooo I decided last week … And you ate onions
Mr. Amazing: As it should be
me: It was a disaster
Mr. Amazing: yes, and they were wonderful
me: Oniongate 2012
Mr. Amazing: lol I don’t want to think about it, I was so sick
me: Soooo this whole thing is on you, Maybe you don’t even want Indian, You were super sick
Mr. Amazing: Indian it is
me: or even Himalayan kitchen if you want?
Mr. Amazing: You like Indian better
me: Actually I’m good for a change, as long as what ever you bring me is super crazy spicy
Mr. Amazing: Indian it is
me: … it all sounds equally good, as long as its hot, I kinda want the chicken… I might be delirious
Mr. Amazing: Okay, chicken? seriously? do you want to think about that?
me: No, it sounds good
Mr. Amazing: let’s go through this
me: But it has to be melt my face off hot
Mr. Amazing: first bite… good
second bite… good
me: LMAO!
Mr. Amazing: third bite… okay
fourth bite… meh
fifth bite… gross
me: I wanna eat it
Mr. Amazing: (first bite)
me: ROTFLMAO!
Mr. Amazing: so… chicken?
me: Yeah!
Mr. Amazing: Uh huh
me: Hot!
Mr. Amazing: I am not ordering until 30 mins before I leave, so let me know if that changes
hot
yes
me: I dont think I slept well last night… My eyes are leaky and I think this is all very funny
Oct
02
2012
Mic check…is this thing on?
Disclaimer: this is being typed in a pitch black room… First time from a mobile device…From my bed… And I have taken Tylenol PM… It’s only 9 PM… But I need sleep… So spelling and grammar nazis back off… This is bound to be full of typos and half formed thoughts. Go pick on the other posts … Which all have the same problem and do not contain the disclaimer… In fact… Apparently that is all the Tylenol PM did was give me manners…. It’s not Ambien what did you expect.
Its October… You know the month after September…. Like the thing that happens when September is over… That’s right… Over… I made it … Only one run in with anemia… Which was probably really more of a blessing seeing as how it wiped me out for almost a week…that combined with an insane amount of work… Insane in the form of a ridiculous amount of hours and stress… And I cried a lot of tears of frustration over it… But really it was a blessing in disguise… I get that now… It can stop anytime… I am okay for the most part… A lot of the time…. Sometimes…. My birthday came and went how I prefer it, with hardly a mention… The thirtieth passed Sunday and I spent it surrounded with friends and tucked all those horrible feelings away and didn’t acknowledge them…
So I up my amount of red meat consumption to get on top of the anemia… I stop being fascinated with how the bruises come and counting them… And I try to start sleeping again… I feel like I got off too easy… Like something is lurking… But I digress….
I am ready for autumn.
Orange and red leaves covering the mountains everywhere I turn… The mornings are a little brisk… Pumpkin bins are popping up outside the grocery stores… Costumes are being thought up and planned… Corn mazes… Scary movies…. Tv marathons as the nights get darker sooner…
Soon I will be able to see my breath in the mornings… And smell the heater the first time it turns on… And see the smoke lilting out of the chimneys as I drive down the hill…
Warm breads… Hot drinks…hoodies…
Fall is like a brisk breath of fresh air after the summers oppressive heat… The gnats and Mosquitos will freeze up and die…
Spiders try to move indoors and we all take our turn saving each others lives … By being the mighty spider slayer…
One year almost to the day I moved into this home … Weeks before our arts and crafts wedding…. One year ago we formed this little family… It’s been a lot of firsts… Firsts of everything really… Im so ready to try the seconds… I hope they are as wonderFul and laughter filled as the firsts…
Sep
19
2012
… Catching Up in Images
Sep
18
2012
… the collection of characters I have in my life already is pretty amazing.. Just imagine if you will.
Its Writer’s Workshop time again… This weeks prompt was fun! Just because I can imagine us all in some coffee shop… or neighborhood bar… retelling the days.
Share 5 Fictional Friends you’d want in real life. (Movie/Book/TV etc.)
Harry Potter! So what if he’s a little whiny sometimes? Harry would still be a kickass friend. Think he’d speak Parseltongue if I got him drunk enough?
Bilbo Baggins! He has even better adventures than Tom Sawyer! And a better sense of humor, better jewelry, better-insulated feet. Just better all around!
Lara Croft! She is a bad ass, and she always seems to find the treasure she is looking for.
Optimus Prime! He is so Cool! and he is a car… what more could you ask for?
And lastly… but not least by any means…. (You all think I’m going to say Captain Jack Sparrow)
Sally Owens! From practical magic… we would be BFFs!
Now I’m going to state the obvious! How cool would my life be? Christmas presents from Lara Croft? Hey Optimus! I’m stuck in traffic! Help!
All that being said, the collection of characters I have in my life already is pretty amazing. I wouldn’t change them for anything!!!
I just wish Mr. Amazing could turn into a car sometimes 🙂
Sep
17
2012
… I wouldn’t even bother reading this one…
September… ugh… like a punch in the mammary glands…. seriously… As if my birthday wasn’t enough… does anyone really like getting a year older once you are past the major mile stones… Voting… Buying liquor…. having children…. your children having children…. I have surpassed all of these… I’m not even forty …
… as if I wasn’t the type of person that struggled with anniversary’s naturally… I am… I think that most people who have been through trauma of sorts or loss of loved ones are date conscious… I seem to take it to a whole new level… I have written this several times… I’m pretty sure we are all tired of my personal drama… fucking hell… I know I am…
Let’s discuss the other anniversary’s that fall on the same time frame…. Suicide awareness week… First week of September… I’m glad it exists… I am … people need to be educated on it… I hate the shit though…. For anyone that has lost friends… those warning lists are like a check list of everything you fucked up and didn’t catch… as you yourself are just wishing for the earth to open up and swallow you whole … and are hoping no one is seeing the signs…
… 9/11 … Wow… I know we need to remember… never forget… don’t worry… I never forget anything…
Something magical happened on the first day of september though… many close to me have given up on the common practice of pointing out the many good things in my life (which are abundant… and wonderful) because they have caught on that I just use them as another means to mentally punish myself… for being alive and having them… Disturbing… Im aware… A few years ago a friend (I have the most amazing friends in the whole wide world… btw) suggested just getting through it… Not trying to do anything more than survive… and she printed off a calendar… and pinned a sharpie next to it… and everyday we Xed a day off… and we laughed about some of them… and we cried about some of them… and there really aren’t that many days in September…
… This year she is across the ocean in the city of love… getting married in paris … My phone buzzed the text “Day 1, Thinking of you” … The next day pictures of the eiffle tower … “Day 2, How are you holding up?” …. Pictures of her in her gown… pictures of the french country side…. every single day…. she is counting with me… I don’t even want to know what it is costing her to text me from Paris….
Mr. Amazing has been amazing… as if he could be anything else… I love him so much ….. Small child has blood work out… that I am waiting for the results… He has some big life changing challenges directly ahead of him… Smallest child’s safety and security is always a source of anxiety when she isn’t under our roof… Tiniest child made an appearance for a couple of days this weekend and honestly steals my heart every time I see him…
… I have found other comforts… Sippy cup corner has happened several times…. I can now drink wine out of a buzz light year cup… with the bendy straw placed in such a way that it looks like his penis… to infinity and beyond baby…. Wine just tastes better that way… best gift ever…. We are raising our families together… and kicking ass at it.
… Pajama Birthday Coffee (okay it was mountain dew) with eyes swollen shut … teeth furry… hair untamed… without even worrying about it being embarrassing… These are the kinds of friends I have….
Halfway there.
And that is everything in my head this morning…
