Mr Amazing

Jan 25 2013

OUTER DARKNESS!

Author: Kerry

UPDATE: BAHAHAHA! I Apologize in advance to writing this post that every one of you that googles Outer Space and gets brought here… Its getting a TON of traffic… But I know this isn’t quite what you had in mind!

I almost feel like I should put a disclaimer on here… But I decided against it 🙂

Mr Amazing:  It’s all because of the coca cola flavored Slurpee… choose the form of the destructor…..

 me:  I’m going to live forever… because God hates me… That’s my retirement plan

Mr Amazing:  Uh… hello God has a plan, you can only live (or die) if you are part of Gods plan

 me:  I choose neither

Mr Amazing:  then you will live forever in death or die forever in life – Not sure which

 me:  OUTER DARKNESS! Okay seriously… how cool does that sound… where are you? OUTER DARKNESS!

Mr Amazing:  outer darkness sounds horrible, it’s like being Helen Keller

 me:  How is it any scarier sounding than outer space? I think that perhaps that is what they were referring too… if you don’t get to go to heaven… You float around in space

Mr Amazing:  well, you can’t live in outer space

 me:  bumping asteroids and stuff

Mr Amazing:  nope it is complete and total loneliness with no senses

 me:  If Kolob is a planet

Mr Amazing: no touch, sight, sound, etc

 me:  Outer Darkness is Outer Space… its logical

Mr Amazing:  maybe it is being stuck in a black hole

 me:  Maybe… Either way… it doesn’t sound that bad… and all the coke flavored candy will be there…

Mr Amazing:  living forever with only your own thoughts sounds lovely?

 me:  Have you met me?  It sounds fantastic!

Mr Amazing:  you obviously don’t understand Mormon theology

no senses

no taste

no smell

no touch

no sight

no sound

 me:  No, You obviously don’t understand my brain… It would be like Disneyland

Mr Amazing:  you would be screaming and you couldn’t even hear yourself scream

 me:  My thoughts alone are the equivalent of the Matterhorn

Mr Amazing::  if such a place existed

 me:  Why would I be screaming? Nothing would be hurting me… cant feel anything!

Mr Amazing:  because you would go mad http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensory_deprivation

 me:  Would it be claustrophobic? or big like outer darkness sounds?

Mr Amazing:  you wouldn’t be able to tell

 me:  Then it wouldn’t matter

Mr Amazing:  You would go completely insane within days

 me:  I bet I could hold out longer than you

Mr Amazing:  I would last minutes ROFL

 me:  I think it sounds like a vacation

outer-space1
Jan 23 2013

… Heart of the House

Author: Kerry

This Week’s Prompt – SHOW US YOUR KITCHEN!

mama kats

The first thing that came to mind is WHY? Who would want to see my kitchen!! I know… It is to judge my hard water problems… or organizational skills? Because really I do not need your opinion (Unless you have a magical hard water remedy)

0122130921-00

And then I thought that perhaps it was to judge my junk food… (It is two weeks before the Puppy/Super bowl!!) … I guess no one is buying the “I just have a slow metabolism” routine again.

0122130922-00

All kidding aside… I realized this is the room where the magic happens… Whoa! not that magic! We keep that in the bedroom… for the most part.

(you are wondering now aren’t you)

0122130922-01

This is the heart of my home… this counter… this is where we roll out Christmas cookies… and color… serve play dough pizzas… homework…pancakes on the weekends… This is where we have Settlers of Catan show downs … wrap birthday presents … discuss our day while dinner is being prepared… it is where the cat lounges in the sun… Toddlers are set to put on their shoes … multiple parties and holidays along with their appropriate food spreads have been set out here and surrounded and picked at by the people I love… jokes told… laughter filling the room…. kids running around it with Nerf guns and princess dresses… tea is prepared … served… sipped… It really is a magical place.

(Also- I get that this isn’t really wordless.. but there are pictures… and it is Wednesday)

Jan 18 2013

A Quickie – A Definite Maybe.

Author: Kerry
G-Chat
Mr. Amazing:  I want this…  did you get your W2 yet?
41fvW2SbZcL._SL500_AA300_
 me:  Not yet –  no screen!LOL
Mr. Amazing:  It’s a thunderbolt display, docking station for a macbook pro
 me:  blah blah blah
 Mr. Amazing:  built in sound, ethernet, usb hub, firewire
 me:  meh meh meh meh meh
Mr. Amazing:  I take that as a definite maybe
 me:  ROTFLMAO!
…
See that was a Quickie!!!
Completely Unrelated Fact: Most of the traffic I get to my blog are mislead porn searchers…
Jan 14 2013

… Release through Creativity…

Author: Kerry

I’m cheating again this week… I might have a problem with it honestly… So mamakats writers prompts came out a day early… and my cell phone chimed as the email came to my gmail account as I was spending my Sunday afternoon in my paint room… I stopped and with paint covered fingers navigated the touch screen to open it and read the prompts… The prompts this week were take from the “One Word” resolutions of last week… What a GREAT idea!! Two of the words jumped off the page from the list of 5 ( here are all five just because it did inspire so many blog ideas)

mama kats

 

1.) Explore 2.) Release 3.) Trust 4.) Acceptance 5.) Creativity

I experience release through creativity…

I have an issue… okay several, but if you have read this blog a while the theme around most of it is in appropriately channeled anxiety…

So every other Sunday morning (the Sunday morning small child is at his fathers)

I generally wake up on the wrong side of the bed… I cry at the drop of a hat… I get very nit picky.. and panicky about housework (which then triggers poor Mr. Amazing’s anxiety)

Its regular party…

But we recognize it.. and I have all the tools to deal with it… even though sometimes I forget I can actually use these tools…

First-  I took a warm shower… took the time to do the girly groomy thingys that sometimes make us feel better…

still hadn’t found the calm or release I desperately needed…

So I grabbed the container I use for water… filled it slowly… and walked down the stairs.. gingerly… with my broken tailbone… fucked up knees (it was 5 degrees yesterday) … and broken toe… all of these things are a story of their own… that I am just plain tired of writing about… so use your imagination…

I opened the door to my paint room… I lit a candle… some incense .. plugged in the phone to a speaker… played my favorite genre off of Pandora… and I painted…

I took a  HUGE canvas I had received for Christmas from small child and just let myself blend the colors and cover the canvas… I had an idea of what I wanted this to be… but I felt the need to make the color so rich… and the paint so thick… that I wouldn’t be able to finish it…

colors

So I took another canvas that I had already painted the background of and practiced… here is the start of it… I will post it when it is finished… and then I will attempt to do something similar on the giant canvas… angeland I felt peace…

With every stroke of the brush… and every layer of color… I felt the stress and anxiety leave me… and lost track of time… and forgot about the pain…  It was truly a release through creativity… I intend to work on it again tonight.

UPDATED:

Still not done- but further along… also… completely unrelated… I love you people

angel

Jan 09 2013

… I can’t keep living this way.

Author: Kerry

I can’t keep living this way… If you have been a reader of this blog… you know sleep issues are a running theme. I am a lifelong insomniac… as well as a long time experiencing Adult Night Terrors individual… There is a lot that goes along with this that I do not share … Panic attacks over my sleeping environment being one of them (until now)… Also you know that I have recently in the past few years met … fell in love with… and married my Night Time Knight in shining armor… Mr. Amazing. (everything is appropriately back linked if you want the history 🙂 )

Something new in my sleep pattern is emerging as I continue down this road to happy destiny… And it is more disturbing to me personally than any of the above… I. Am. Sleeping. SOUNDLY… So soundly that last night Mr. Amazing came into the bedroom (he had too stay up late working from home) … OPENED the door… entered our bedroom… said my name twice… tried to shoe the dog from the bed… and in a tired exasperated state of mind gave up and went back to the couch and fell asleep…. In my life… as long as I can remember… I have NEVER slept through someone entering a room, a door opening or closing anywhere in where I am sleeping… I have NEVER slept through someone speaking in the room … or a dog climbing up on the bed…

45 minutes after his attempt to come to bed… I … as is my habit unfortunately… bolted up in bed… not finding him there… and the inexplicable rage that comes with a full blown panic attack… which comes from finding you are not in the circumstance you think you are while asleep… found myself in the living room yelling at him … he tried to explain what had happened (Public Service Announcement: No one should ever ever ever try to have rational conversations whilst in the grasps of recent sleep… because they are never rational) to which I responded with complete disbelief .. because I don’t do that… I don’t sleep through things… and I certainly don’t want to start… I lay awake (mostly) from that point on … in complete terror that it was possible (which is of course the truth). I had taken Advil pm… the lack of aches… and the added sleep… along with all the other healthy things taking place in my life… less energy drinks… less coffee… less insecurity… less instability… less depression… less nightmares… less sleepless nights… less worries… had finally caught up with me… We fumbled through amends this morning… he kept making them… when in reality… this is all me… this mess is mine… he just wants me to sleep… he just wants to me to know I am safe enough to really sleep that deeply… His intentions are so amazing… and through tears… I had to tell him that I am choosing to hang onto this one thing… for now… My sleep pattern… because it is like a life line… it is irrational… irresponsible… and unfair of me… but it is what I want… So I have been awake since the wee hours of this morning… and I have already downed one energy drink.. and I am moving onto coffee… Maybe one day… but not this day….

1

Dec 18 2012

… What brings you joy?

Author: Kerry

 List the top 9 things that bring you joy.

mama kats

What brings you joy?

What a fantastic question at such an amazing time of year!

1- My Children

(The Tall – The Smalls – The Tiniest of all!)

2- Mr. Amazing

(Unless he lets a chicken hawk eat my kittens)

3- Love – In all of its amazing forms

(Friends – Family – Pets)

4- Art – In all of its amazing forms

(Photography – Paintings- Music)

5 -Being Alive- Nothing more or less.

(Everything is perfect)

6- The look of Christmas lights

(and the smell of chimney smoke on a winter night)

7- My sense of humour

( 🙂 – My Blog! )

8- Hitting the lights green on the way home

(Finding joy in simple things)

9- Wildflowers

(Seeing birds flying and the sun beaming down)

384294_2332429602470_1601685681_2259792_1444554069_n

Dec 17 2012

… are you saying you want me to take “your” journalistic integrity and shove it up “my” ___ ?

Author: Kerry
 me:  (Linked this picture)kitten
Mr. Amazing:  cute
 me:  lol
 me:  LMAO!
 me:  Its cute… shiney and silver
Mr. Amazing: We are still talking about the speaker, yes?
 me:  Yes – LOL Bratface
Mr. Amazing:  You can play music to it right from your iPad wirelessly
 me:  Dont talk to me anymore LOL
Mr. Amazing:  And… I can get it through my work for only $95
 me:  If I can only have one cat, you can only have one speaker… go home and mark your favorite… Im throwing the rest out the window
Mr. Amazing:  lol
 me:  I loooovvveee you
Mr. Amazing:  I love you too, If you want to call the landlord… I am sure that would be a super fun conversation
 me:  They would never even notice!
Mr. Amazing: and watch this be the kitten that urinates on EVERYTHING, What is that lovely smell in your home, is that… cat urine, yummy
 me:  You think EVERY cat pees on everything LOL more don’t pee on things than do!
Mr. Amazing:  That’s because every other cat I have owned pees on everything, pee pee pee pee
 me:  How many have you owned LMAO!
Mr. Amazing:  3
 me:  I have owned a bazzillion… and flora was the only one who did that..
Mr. Amazing:  Yeah… well
Mr. Amazing:  I am happy with two animals, a cat, a dog
 me:  Me too, I just like to mess with you
Mr. Amazing:  done
 me:  and I love kittens
Mr. Amazing:  yeah… that’s all this is, you like to mess with me
 me:  Kittens are like babies, My friends get one, and I get kitten hungry LOL I dont really want one
Mr. Amazing:  lol -you really don’t want one? So if I brought a kitten home tonight you would turn it away, cuz you really don’t want one
 me:  Oh hell no, I would snatch that kitten up and kiss the shit out of it
Mr. Amazing:  I want to cry a little bit just thinking about a kitten peeing in the closet and climbing up my back while I am screaming obscenities
(this is a memory, FYI)
 me:  LMAO! Its going to happen one day, I am content with that for now
Mr. Amazing: I honest to god think you like tormenting my subconscious brain
 me:  ROTFLMAO!
Mr. Amazing:  you don’t like this? <twist>
 me:  I told you up front, remember, I would ALWAYS own a cat
 Mr. Amazing:  I told you I would always own a chicken hawk, but I let that dream die
 me:  ROTFLMAO!!!
 me:  Im sure the kids would LOVE one!
Mr. Amazing::  Do you see the picture of it eating the kitten, uh… I mean small squirrel
 me:  WHAT? No! You wouldnt send me a picture of that! <looking again>
 me:  Mother Fucker
Mr. Amazing:  Meow
 me:  You know… Pissing you off is the only thing that stops me from bringing one home…. And suddenly the keeping you happy thing seems alot less appealing
 me:  Im Blogging this… people will mail me Kittens in protest!
Mr. Amazing:   It will arrive in a package dead, and I can feed it to a chicken hawk – tell them that if they send you kittens to at least put holes in the box
 me:  Your going to hell…. which will include cat nip treats dangling over your boy parts in a room full of kittens
 Mr. Amazing:  boy parts?
 me:  uh huh
Mr. Amazing:   what am I five?
 me:  ROTFL!
Mr. Amazing:   you just typed that I want that to sink in
 me:  I am DYING over here! I typed it because I knew I was going to blog it!
Mr. Amazing:   that seems counter-intuitive, shouldn’t you blog it because you typed it? Where is your journalistic integrity?
 me:  Bet if it was up your… other part… you would know
Mr. Amazing:   are you saying you want me to take “your” journalistic integrity and shove it up “my” ass?
 me:  YES!
Dec 10 2012

… Santa Baby

Author: Kerry

Dear Santa…

Without sounding like I am accusing you of doubting my goodness… I feel it is important to point out some of my finer qualities… because lets face it… My Christmas list is not small… and nothing short of cliche…. I would have to point out that I have been good this year… I have helped where I can… I have been a regular bundle of sunshine when people are down… I go to work… I work hard… I come home and I cook dinner… and I clean house… fold laundry…. scrub toilets…. attend recitals… drive carpool… make chamomile tea before bed… I love… my god do I have the love thing down… I love my children…Mr. Amazing…  others children… my childrens children… my friends… some of my family… I could go on… I have references…

I am no saint … this much I know… I have thrown my share of hissy fits… I have melted down over plenty of “1st world problems” … I have lost my temper… lost my patience… not returned a promised phone call… forgotten a birthday…. but I do try…

What I want this year for Christmas is breathing room… I would like a little more time between each challenge… Money to last a little longer… I am grateful ends meet… just a little less barely…. I would like a few less coughs… and a few less tears… a trip to disneyland… only in america can I flog myself and my parenting skills for never having gotten my son there… I know … I know it is wrong… when I have so much to wish it… but I do dammit… Im not done either… I wish for peaceful sleepful nights…. less nightmares… I wish for less debt… less instability… I wish for more time in the sunshine… more time with my little family… more laughter… and a kitten… Mr. Amazing says I cant have one… that one cat is enough… and I dont want anything to take my shadow cat away… I would like you to convince him…. and more than anything… more that anything I have asked for prior to this… I want all these things for others… Give my kitten to some little girl that has never had something of her very own… and give my comforts to someone who doesnt know what it is like to make ends meet… even barely… Give my less coughs to kids that dont have a mom to take care of them… and give my sunshine to those who dont have the freedom to run in it as often as we do… because honestly no matter how much you have… it is never enough…Capture Kony… Stop Assad… There is so much more wrong that I could add… fix it… make the hurting stop…. and please… Let me have DisneyLand

 

Merry Christmas You Guys!!!

 

Dec 04 2012

I threw a wish in the well… Don’t ask me… I’ll never tell

Author: Kerry

I know I know… The prompt said a song I love… But this song isn’t necessarily my theme song of the week… or month… in fact it gets stuck in my head and wraps itself in there until everything I am doing (Walking, talking, dancing, doing dishes… washing in the shower ha!) gets done in rhythm. 

Smallest child sings it everywhere… We sing it together at the top of our lungs while grocery shopping… we dance to it in the car… I sing it to Small child and Mr. Amazing just to hear their groans of disbelief that yet again it is going to be stuck in their heads…

My Christian (its his name… and his spiritual belief all wrapped up in one) bemoans it … and I post yet another MEME on his wall quoting it

My Day Job (The place I go to earn a living… while I wait to be discovered and become a renowned… well anything) did a cover of it with all kinds of cheesy dance moves… some including a forklift… and so I bring to you… Call me Maybe!

I threw a wish in the well,
Don’t ask me, I’ll never tell
I looked to you as it fell,
And now you’re in my way

Are there even real wells anymore? Okay, I am sure there are! But not anywhere I have been. and she’s not a princess in a Disney movie, She is no Snow White.

I’d trade my soul for a wish,
Pennies and dimes for a kiss

I don’t know the value of a soul, But I am willing to bet it is worth more than a wish for a kiss… you’re sounding a bit easy

I wasn’t looking for this,
But now you’re in my way

What do you mean you weren’t looking for this? All you have done is sing about looking for this! Did you forget?

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?

Uhhhh From a wishing well to a cheap bar? okay.. Im with you… no… no I am not

It’s hard to look right,
At you baby,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?

It’s hard to look right at him? What is he? Someone has been drinking from the crazy sauce

And all the other boys,
Try to chase me,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?

Other boys are chasing you… But you want the one you cannot stand to look at? Daddy Issues

You took your time with the call,
I took no time with the fall
You gave me nothing at all,
But still, you’re in my way

He gave you nothing and he’s in your way… in your way of what exactly? This makes so little sense I want to punch you in the face

Hey, I just met you,
And this is crazy,
But here’s my number,
So call me, maybe?

That’s it! I’m sick of this maybe business… Do you want him to call you or not? This relationship has so much drama before it’s even begun… I hope he never calls you because the break up song for this will be UNBEARABLE! (Taylor Swift get to writing it! Pronto!)



 

Nov 30 2012

Pi … The life of …The Zebra!

Author: Kerry

We (Mr. Amazing, Small Child and I) made our way into the theater loaded up with “Dinner” (Popcorn, nachos, candy, and a Turkey Sandwich!) Excited for the movie, 3D glasses are passed around, and we settle into our seats … This is not the normal movie for we three… We are Marvel fans… Super Heroes… The Hobbit… Hunger Games… But this caught our attention… the promise of stunning visuals and a spiritual experience… So we were a little confused as it opened and we laughed at some of the childhood stories… and we drooled over the amazing cuisine they kept showing… and then we tensed up as the directors of the film expect you too as the boat scenes start… The boat sinks… Pi is the only human on the life boat with the animals… The Zebra cries out as his flank is attacked by a Hyena…

Small Child completely loses composure and dissolves into gut wrenching sobs…

Mr. Amazing suggests it might be to scary for him… and I look at him and realize… Small Child isn’t scared… He LOVES the Zebra… He stands to leave the theater as the Orangutan fights for its life… and loses as well…. Completely inconsolable…

In the hall we get him calmed down… and I am so touched by his empathy… so moved by his love of animals… that I send Mr. Amazing back into the “Life of Pi” and I take small child to an attendant, and get permission to theater hop until the movie is over… We watched again the ending of Rise of the Guardians … Which oddly I didn’t review – But Highly Recommend to all ages. We then caught the last 45 minutes of the latest and final Twilight installment… Which again I had seen… didn’t review… also recommend. We giggled… and hugged… Mother and Son… My beautiful amazing son… who can watch NCIS… BONES… and any other kind of action film… and still maintain such an innocence… and be so sensitive … I was so proud of him.

Mr. Amazing finished the Life of Pi… he came out of the theater shedding emotional tears… He was so deeply moved by the movie and couldn’t say enough about the beauty of the film… and the colors… He loved it… he thinks everyone should see it… Everyone but my amazing son.

I’ve never reviewed a movie I didn’t actually watch… So I guess this is more of a story than a review.

Maybe this is more of a prayer than a story… I pray nothing ever happens to small child… that would make that scene in that movie okay for him to see…  I hope he always LOVES the zebra!