Traditional Green Eggs and Ham (Turkey Bacon in our case) for Dr. Suess’s Birthday!
Then to the track… I found my walking buddy… she doesn’t really so much walk
… Get him a free trial pair of contacts says Mr Amazing… Let him try them…. Look at those baby blues!
Last year I celebrated Dr. Suess’s birthday by having a grandchild! What better day to do it really!!! How cute is this lil one year old tiniest small of all!
Tell the story of trying to learn a new talent or hobby that you only pursued briefly.
I wanted to be the perfect mom!
Tall Child arrived half-way grown… She became my daughter when she was 12.. She came with only a few things to call her own… but one thing she did arrive with was a dufflebag stuffed with yarn…
I looked at small child… at his tiny little two year old self… and begged Tall child to teach me!
I wanted to give small child a blanket… a homemade mommy blanket… something he could pass on to his kids… you get the idea… I wanted to be the perfect mom… I wanted him to have everything…
I invested in some Crochet Hooks/Knitting Needles (Did you know these were two different things? I never did figured out what the difference was or which one I was doing) I chose two different colors of blue yarn… She taught me the easiest stitch… and after much cursing… and poking her with the needle/hook… I got the hang of it enough to do a couple of rows….
Then a couple more….
Then a couple more….
<sponge bob voice> Six Months Later
I finally handed small child his scarf…
He loved it!
He roped the dog with it while wearing his Indiana Jones hat… and swung by the banister with it doing his spider-man impression… he tied people up with it and returned as superman to rescue them…
Until one day it mysteriously disappeared and was never mentioned again…
because….fuck knitting!
This is an older pic… but damn… we are cute!
Mr Amazing: It has a super nes emulator & tons of games to download for free
me: Okay okay… Why would Nintendo let that happen?
Mr Amazing: : who is buying NES64 games? Plus minecraft is available
me: I want it! buy me it!
Mr Amazing: : lol
me: Not funny anymore!
Mr Amazing: I no longer want it
me: LOL! I WANT IT!
Mr Amazing: smiffbib
me: Bratface!
Mr Amazing: it has a SNES and NES64 emulator
me: I want it all Every Effing Mario Game since the dawn of time!
Mr Amazing: Plus you download ANY game & try it for free even the $50 games
me: Want want want NEED
Mr Amazing: Oh Kerry
… Donkey Kong 64
… Paper Mario (the original)
… Mario Party
… Diddy Kong Racing
me: PAPER MARIO I JUST DIED AT MY DESK… Coffee saved me
Mr Amazing: Super Mario 64
me: Buy Buy Buy
Mr Amazing: It is being released June 2013
me: We could give it to the smalls for their birthday!
Mr Amazing: lol here kids
me: and then steal their birthday present and play it
Mr Amazing: now get the FUCK out of my way
me: ROTFLMAO!
Mr Amazing: seems disingenuous somehow
me: It wants me to buy it
Mr Amazing: I want to spend $1200 on a security appliance for home
me: A security appliance?
Mr Amazing: Yes, with IDS, content filtering, and anti-virus and anti-phishing built in
me: doesn’t sound like a lot of fun
Mr Amazing: It would make it so we could control where are kids go online and verify they never download crap they aren’t supposed to
me: <yawn>
me: paper Mario
Mr Amazing: and it would make our wireless signal awesome
me: paper Mario… paper Mario… PAPER MARIO YAY
I claim several as mine … But I’ve had the opportunity to name only one…
Small Child’s Father and I decided the second we found out …
Girl = My Choice
Boy=His (Mostly due to a family tradition of naming after the grandfather)
Ultra-Sound technician let us know at about 17 weeks that we were having a girl … I was a high – risk pregnancy … I was having non stress tests and Ultra – sounds weekly… Week 18 … Yep! a girl… I bought fairy wall stickers… I named her after a Russian Princess… I had the nickname all picked out… I was buying clothes like a mad woman… Cute pink clothes… Week 19…. Week 20… I couldn’t make this up you guys… honestly… “See this pearl strand is his spine… ” The cursor moving over the screen… “You mean her”… “No… you are having a boy” …. “NO… they said a girl”… cursor moves over the appropriate area “That is either the biggest Clitoris I have ever seen… or you are having a boy”…. I stared at the monitor… That was definitely a boy….
(Have I told this story before? I can not remember, and I am not going through 200 posts to see… That’s right… I hit the milestone of 200 posts… and 1 year… Woot… okay on with the story)
Tearfully returned all the pink… and the fairy… threw away the custom stitch diaper bag with the MOST BEAUTIFUL NAME in the whole wide world on it… replaced it all with tigger and pooh bear…
In the hospital .. about to deliver … Small Child’s father begins to panic… “I don’t know anyone named Keith that has ever amounted to anything” …. “You fathers name is Keith!” … “I want more for him” … and he went to every office in that facility and took a tally… the most common name for a Doctor at that time… in that place… it was a good name… and when he arrived it fit him perfectly… we signed it on his birth certificate … and I have threatened the life of anyone that tries to shorten it… those doctors plaques did not read John.
My miracle son…
Inspired by this weeks writing prompts- Share how you came up with your kids names!
The first thing that came to mind is WHY? Who would want to see my kitchen!! I know… It is to judge my hard water problems… or organizational skills? Because really I do not need your opinion (Unless you have a magical hard water remedy)
And then I thought that perhaps it was to judge my junk food… (It is two weeks before the Puppy/Super bowl!!) … I guess no one is buying the “I just have a slow metabolism” routine again.
All kidding aside… I realized this is the room where the magic happens… Whoa! not that magic! We keep that in the bedroom… for the most part.
(you are wondering now aren’t you)
This is the heart of my home… this counter… this is where we roll out Christmas cookies… and color… serve play dough pizzas… homework…pancakes on the weekends… This is where we have Settlers of Catan show downs … wrap birthday presents … discuss our day while dinner is being prepared… it is where the cat lounges in the sun… Toddlers are set to put on their shoes … multiple parties and holidays along with their appropriate food spreads have been set out here and surrounded and picked at by the people I love… jokes told… laughter filling the room…. kids running around it with Nerf guns and princess dresses… tea is prepared … served… sipped… It really is a magical place.
(Also- I get that this isn’t really wordless.. but there are pictures… and it is Wednesday)
I’m cheating again this week… I might have a problem with it honestly… So mamakats writers prompts came out a day early… and my cell phone chimed as the email came to my gmail account as I was spending my Sunday afternoon in my paint room… I stopped and with paint covered fingers navigated the touch screen to open it and read the prompts… The prompts this week were take from the “One Word” resolutions of last week… What a GREAT idea!! Two of the words jumped off the page from the list of 5 ( here are all five just because it did inspire so many blog ideas)
1.) Explore 2.) Release 3.) Trust 4.) Acceptance 5.) Creativity
I experience release through creativity…
I have an issue… okay several, but if you have read this blog a while the theme around most of it is in appropriately channeled anxiety…
So every other Sunday morning (the Sunday morning small child is at his fathers)
I generally wake up on the wrong side of the bed… I cry at the drop of a hat… I get very nit picky.. and panicky about housework (which then triggers poor Mr. Amazing’s anxiety)
Its regular party…
But we recognize it.. and I have all the tools to deal with it… even though sometimes I forget I can actually use these tools…
First- I took a warm shower… took the time to do the girly groomy thingys that sometimes make us feel better…
still hadn’t found the calm or release I desperately needed…
So I grabbed the container I use for water… filled it slowly… and walked down the stairs.. gingerly… with my broken tailbone… fucked up knees (it was 5 degrees yesterday) … and broken toe… all of these things are a story of their own… that I am just plain tired of writing about… so use your imagination…
I opened the door to my paint room… I lit a candle… some incense .. plugged in the phone to a speaker… played my favorite genre off of Pandora… and I painted…
I took a HUGE canvas I had received for Christmas from small child and just let myself blend the colors and cover the canvas… I had an idea of what I wanted this to be… but I felt the need to make the color so rich… and the paint so thick… that I wouldn’t be able to finish it…
So I took another canvas that I had already painted the background of and practiced… here is the start of it… I will post it when it is finished… and then I will attempt to do something similar on the giant canvas… 
and I felt peace…
With every stroke of the brush… and every layer of color… I felt the stress and anxiety leave me… and lost track of time… and forgot about the pain… It was truly a release through creativity… I intend to work on it again tonight.
UPDATED:
Still not done- but further along… also… completely unrelated… I love you people
List the top 9 things that bring you joy.
What brings you joy?
What a fantastic question at such an amazing time of year!
1- My Children
(The Tall – The Smalls – The Tiniest of all!)
2- Mr. Amazing
(Unless he lets a chicken hawk eat my kittens)
3- Love – In all of its amazing forms
(Friends – Family – Pets)
4- Art – In all of its amazing forms
(Photography – Paintings- Music)
5 -Being Alive- Nothing more or less.
(Everything is perfect)
6- The look of Christmas lights
(and the smell of chimney smoke on a winter night)
7- My sense of humour
( 🙂 – My Blog! )
8- Hitting the lights green on the way home
(Finding joy in simple things)
9- Wildflowers
(Seeing birds flying and the sun beaming down)
Dear Santa…
Without sounding like I am accusing you of doubting my goodness… I feel it is important to point out some of my finer qualities… because lets face it… My Christmas list is not small… and nothing short of cliche…. I would have to point out that I have been good this year… I have helped where I can… I have been a regular bundle of sunshine when people are down… I go to work… I work hard… I come home and I cook dinner… and I clean house… fold laundry…. scrub toilets…. attend recitals… drive carpool… make chamomile tea before bed… I love… my god do I have the love thing down… I love my children…Mr. Amazing… others children… my childrens children… my friends… some of my family… I could go on… I have references…
I am no saint … this much I know… I have thrown my share of hissy fits… I have melted down over plenty of “1st world problems” … I have lost my temper… lost my patience… not returned a promised phone call… forgotten a birthday…. but I do try…
What I want this year for Christmas is breathing room… I would like a little more time between each challenge… Money to last a little longer… I am grateful ends meet… just a little less barely…. I would like a few less coughs… and a few less tears… a trip to disneyland… only in america can I flog myself and my parenting skills for never having gotten my son there… I know … I know it is wrong… when I have so much to wish it… but I do dammit… Im not done either… I wish for peaceful sleepful nights…. less nightmares… I wish for less debt… less instability… I wish for more time in the sunshine… more time with my little family… more laughter… and a kitten… Mr. Amazing says I cant have one… that one cat is enough… and I dont want anything to take my shadow cat away… I would like you to convince him…. and more than anything… more that anything I have asked for prior to this… I want all these things for others… Give my kitten to some little girl that has never had something of her very own… and give my comforts to someone who doesnt know what it is like to make ends meet… even barely… Give my less coughs to kids that dont have a mom to take care of them… and give my sunshine to those who dont have the freedom to run in it as often as we do… because honestly no matter how much you have… it is never enough…Capture Kony… Stop Assad… There is so much more wrong that I could add… fix it… make the hurting stop…. and please… Let me have DisneyLand
Merry Christmas You Guys!!!
