I’ve been gone… but I haven’t forgotten.

Globally, as of  14 June 2022, there have been 533,816,957 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 6,309,633 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 7 June 2022, a total of 11,864,214,773 vaccine doses have been administered.

But wait …. there is more…

As of 8 June 2022, 1285 laboratory confirmed cases and one probable case have been reported to WHO from 28 countries in four WHO Regions where monkeypox is not usual or had not previously been reported. This represents an increase of 505 laboratory confirmed cases since the previous Disease Outbreak News on 4 June 2022 when 780 cases were reported. As of 8 June 2022, there have been no associated reported deaths in these four Regions. 
OH come on now! if we cannot laugh about it…. what can we do (I MEAN please wash your hands and wear a mask if you’re in public.)

There is so much I should be telling you all…. beside the fact that I am alive…. but … you guessed it! Ive been fairying… tis the season…. so just know I live… I love…. I laugh… the end.

On your 21st birthday

Dear Johnathon…

How do I start a letter that is 21 years in the making? How do I explain to you how very fortunate I am to call you my son and even more so on your 21st birthday? I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you… forever crying (yes, that is actually all you did for the first 5 months of your life). Never sleeping (how things have changed) and always ready to see what the day will bring… So here we are on your 21st birthday. In a world I could never have prepared you for… living a part… trying to figure out a way to celebrate you… your youness… your fire/spark/light…. without actually being able to touch you… I stole a masked hug last week… we both choked up… I would GIVE ANYTHING to be holding you in my arms now.

Nothing much has changed since the first day I brought you home from the hospital (well… maybe the crying has ceased). You have always been my bundle of energy… always asking a million questions, always wanting to sword fight and although you may no longer sleep with your King Arthur sword… I believe you still own it.  Even now, I am sure if I emptied a roll of wrapping paper in front of you… Id get whacked with it as you screamed ‘touche” or “engarde!”

You really were a fantastic baby… crawling at almost five months and then walking at 11 months. Projectile vomiting at a measured 5 feet… which of course was my party trick. Your love of superman moved to power rangers to Harry Potter and then Star Wars. I think some things actually never change.

You have always been a quiet achiever… never wanting to bring attention to your self. Which you had no chance with a mother like me (sorry, son). Your humbleness is something I admire about you. Your great empathy in all that you do and your loyalty to those who you value the most.

I think for the most part it is who you are and the beliefs that you now have. You have never been one to worry what others may think if your views do not match theirs. Instead stood up for what and who you believe in, (even when they don’t necessarily match mine). Although we often butt heads (This last year? more often than not),

So, although I am not handing you anything on your 21st birthday which is significant to this part of your life… I am giving you a pat on the back for turning out to be a young man I am super proud to call my son. A young man with a big heart… a smart brilliant mind… a loyal personality… a wicked sense of humor… and a spirit like no other I have ever seen.

Thank you for at times when our roles get reversed. When you give me sound advice… thank you for taking care of your siblings… thank you for loving your nephews and niece so fiercely … and thank you for being you.

Now… It’s nice to tell the stories of your many talents and achievements… of your good looks and charm, of your loving spirit and the joy you brought into every room. But just as important… if not more… is the story of how hard you have tried… getting in the face of racism and violence and a world that didn’t provide equality for all to help anyone and everyone around you… Please accept my heartfelt congratulation on this day in your life, For all that you have achieved. Your BFG… sisters… our community and I… are very proud of you. Your exemplary qualities are beyond reproach; because you are loving… kind… understanding… respectful… considerate… friendly… ridiculously handsome… and most of all… you listen when spoken to.  You are one who is bound for greatness. Never let anyone take you off your track.  I am your mother… your biggest fan…. and I am still going to say this. Especially now that you are 21… Never let alcohol or any other substance legalized or prescribed take you off your track. Remember — you will be destined for better things in life. But I would love to celebrate your life and raise a glass to you… balance in all things… like the Avatar.

Bug, I have said lots of things in this letter to you. I don’t expect you to remember all that I have written on this blog. But this much… I would like for you to carry with you always: A fool always loses his temper; a wise man holds it back, takes that energy and turns it into motivation to change things… That is my hope for you… and I know that… with that super power of yours and with Kindness… Hope and so MUCH LOVE, you will live a meaningful and rewarding life. I am SO So so proud of you… proud of all you have done… proud of all you have not done… you are the greatest joy in my life. Happy Birthday Johnathon.

I love you so much!

Written Warning

From: Me

To: Charlie Bosephus

The Goodrich/Pack Estate

The 15th Day of April in the 2020th year of our lord.

Subject: Written Warning

Charlie,

Written on the 30th day of Quarantine – The M&M Deceiver Day

This letter serves to formally document your failure to comply with the service terms of our agreement. Your lack of adherence to such terms have been a great disruption to the workplace performance.

Though you have met your quota with regards to cuteness and comfort, your continuous cries for attention, the bringing of your favorite red string and laying it on my work items, the insistence in grooming yourself in front of my monitor and what I fondly refer to as “Trashing the Camp”

For an example of Trashing the Camp- please refer to the gorilla scene from Disneys Tarzan… the imagine it with a Kitty… in my Kitchen.

and general mayhem has resulted in significant loss of concentration and productivity.

While we value your contribution to our lives, I must insist that you demonstrate an immediate change in your workplace habits or you will face more severe disciplinary actions

Like I can make your red string disappear Bosephus!

Since you have no opposable thumbs… and cannot spell… when staring at me… bring me your string if you understand and agree to the details in this letter. Comments may be addressed to your supervisor and written on the back of this letter to be entered in to HR Record.

Let the record show… she brought her string….
Submission of Proof

Smiffbib – Vice President of said Estate

UPDATE 6-30-2020

On a call… Charlies in the kitchen just crying like a baby… truly the saddest cry you’ve ever heard… and I hear her start trying to drag her bowl to me in the living room… so I text My husband frantically to come feed her for me because I’m on a call… he finds her food thrown out of the bowl in the floor… but cleans it up and gives her more anyways… then I get handed this… 

My Response from my legitimate… real… HR Department that I really have sent these too?
BECAUSE IM LOSING MY MIND!!!??? “Naughty but such a cute cat!! I love these updates, but she better start getting her act together or she may need a new job, maybe a cat burglar would be a better fit! lol”

Quarantined 2020

So it seems to me… I would have thought about blogging more as this all started… but I didn’t… in fact… i’m in the second week of this… and it just now occurred to me I may want to document some of this for future generations… So I start by saying this… good morning! The government wants to throw your parents into a volcano because people can’t hang out at Starbucks…

So those of us that can… are working from home… I bought a hospital bed table as a desk… only fitting

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Why yes that is a giant cat tree in the background for Princess Fluffy Bottom Charlie Bosephus

If you happen to be my friend on Facebook… which you can only do if I know you in real life… much of this will be a repeat… but that’s what you get … you should’ve expected it if you know me in real life. Just saying… We humans are not the only ones losing our shit… overheard this morning in the kitchen from this fancy office of mine:
Smallest Child: You’re feeding them again?
Mr Amazing: Cats eat more when they are so insecure… its been a rough week.
Smallest Child: Awwwww poor baby! Don’t worry Shadow… you’re beautiful… you too charlie!!!
Me: BAHAHAHAHAHA
Mr Amazing: Food insecurity??

Apparently I do have very clear memories of living in Agoura California… the morning of the 19th of March I hopped in my car to check on my fairy city before work… when a pretty good earthquake rocked my car… I waited and when it stopped I went ahead and started to back out… thinking… no big deal… when my family came running outside terrified… and I realized… they had no idea what was happening… and I was business as usual … Wanna know a secret? I started nightly check ins with my adult kids over a weeks ago when I became a shut in… and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. 🤣😂 highlight of my day. An earthquake… I couldn’t make this shit up guys… So that is the fear spoken of with my tinies.
I present an example-

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The earthquake prompted this public service announcement- I mean we have been drilling for this my whole life…. now the pandemic? thats a different story

<Uses cat carrier as a soap box> Well… That was disaster number… dude I’ve lost count… since my Grandpa Eccles died… right before he passed away he talked to me about space food and space water as I was a newly single mom and he wanted me to be prepared … he was a Scouting enthusiast and wanted me to be able to take care…. when the refinery exploded we evacuated without the super duper amazing 72 hour kit I had finally bought at his recommendation… when the pipes froze and the wind took out our power for a week … it sat in the closet forgotten… Corona virus prep- food and water bought- tasers ordered!!! it was still in the closet…. today the earth shook… and though it wasn’t HUGE and we had no property damage or anything- we prepared – we drilled- I demanded we review safety- and meeting places- water bottles put in the car… and granola bars 😬 no 72 hour kit though… Until now… as things have calmed down to the normal pandemic hysteria… we pulled it out… made sure it was up to date… and planned a little better… we also built princess fluffy bottom and shadow man an emergency kit… just In case… so use this time to be grateful… and remember all the things you forgot… we can do this guys! If my Grandpa could get me thinking that way… anyone can prepare-AND put together a pet emergency kit 🙂 wanna know how to quiet your anxiety? Have a plan. <drops mic like Moroni trumpet drops and puts the carrier by the door>

Yes – The Salt lake city Temple Moroni lost his trumpet… it was kinda the inspiration to some of the greatest puns and memes of all time and space LOLOL.

So many things happened as we were preparing to believe what was coming was really coming Covid-19, the outbreak… now pandemic… you will have to read what happened elsewhere… but since I am SUPER immune compromised… the BFG insisted I quarantine earlier than everyone was made too… which we are in the midst of watching happen now… and well Sundays just arent magic without these guys… social distancing sucks… but I’m grateful for for video chat… and filters 😍 love them sooooo much.

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Tall Child – The best mom I have ever had the honor of watching raise her 4 babies.
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She has 3 Boys!!!
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AND My baby girl!

We Leprechauned… and Set up Fairy City… and well…. I will have to share those happy stories when I am feeling more happy… right now I am just missing my people 🙁 Out of town visits planned before the #coronavírus – let us demonstrate #socialdistancing

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Small Child and Danielle … Yes… thats my baby boy who at 2 years old made up the word Smiffbib…. then he got all 20 and shacked up with his girlfriend (who I adore btw) and well Smiffbib.

March 12th this isolation from work began… I left as much love and light as I had that day… and I know the world will look COMPLETELY different after this… if I am lucky enough to come out the other side… I will be happy… but honestly guys… if not… im good. I mean… not that I want to give up or anything… but the acts of kindness … the sheer beauty of the human spirit that rises up and shows itself when this happened… well… im so very proud to be part of it… and part of this race… and guys… it will get better… we can do better… always… but damn… im so proud.

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Okay- thats all for now. Understand this when I say. I am good. I have experienced more love… more hope… more joy… than any one person deserves. This life is beautiful and terrible and then beautiful again. I am here for it as long as it will have me… but if I had one thing I had to say today it is this… I LOVE YOU… I just fucking LOVE you… so much… people are good… so good… and we are such beautiful creatures of hope and kindness and curiosity… dont let anything take that from you… now… go do something… literally anything… to make things better. I Love you

Winter Solstice 2018 – A season of story telling.

According to the National Museum of the American Indian
The winter solstice begins a season of storytelling and ceremony… I would like to spend a few minutes of this solstice wrapping up my unfinished story… and begin on a fresh page… my new story. (and after you read that, I really do recommend reading the article from the Smithsonian above… its kind of amazingly perfect)

For some history…. THIS and then THIS

But if you have been following along these sporadic… every 60 to 90 days postings… I believe I left you here…

I blogged about the tumor arriving two days after they removed it… I blogged about it being the size of a grapefruit or softball… before my post op check… and before pathology… and before anyone told me the doctors had kept me in surgery two hours longer than anticipated… Darth Lumpious was 13.5 centimeters… It was an eggplant not a grapefruit… and then pathology came back, although as predicted… it was benign.

Recovery did not go quite as expected…. obviously a tumor that large left a very deep (Multiple tissue layers sliced and stitched) very large gap in my leg… it also has permanently atrophied my hamstring and nerves… My skin did not grow and heal like one would expect… staples stayed in twice as long as normal… my body never began to heal and push them out… so we removed them… and began wound treatment….

This bloody mess of a bathroom was after the initial clean up after returning from the ER… and when I finally decided that I needed a photo… This is all that was left… but I lost over a gallon of blood that had collected in the gap left… and filled and filled until it burst through the incision and all over my house… car…. husband… and ER…. RIP Towels Bathroom rugs and Clothes lost in the massacre. (FTW Cat Litter Absorbs Blood!!!) So here I am, almost 90 days out from surgery, and the initial incision is healed… still working on the under layers of tissue (Sutures are still there)… I will walk with a cane the rest of my life…. anything longer than a city block… and to be honest… more than that some days if it is cold… or I pushed too hard … I was angry about this at first… but then someone reached out to me… offered me a loved ones cane… left behind when he left the earth. Suddenly I understood using a cane was a privilege… and I gratefully accepted it.

No Leukemia, Tumor Benign, Left with no other diagnosis… I was finally given a diagnosis of Negative ANA Lupus. Which if you have watched House MD, you will find as much comfort in this as I do…. Bahahahahaha… Of the 11 markers of Lupus, I have 5… but not the Positive ANA 98% of Lupus patients have… So rheumatology is where I am headed… and I am sure they will be able to help me… My fever of unknown origin has been back for a several months… and is now manifesting a new symptom… I am unable to regulate my body temperature…

And during all of this life moved forward….
I manage my desk job… Mr Amazing runs the house… Cooks… Shops…. Covers me in blankets and removes my boots… To the moon and back doesn’t adequately describe my love for him…. It is the size of the Universe!!!

The Shit he does for me LMAO!!!

Tall child had a birthday party that will go down in history… Christmas has come…

Where all fairies go in the winter.
Even a little Christmas Magic occurred.

I have lost some friends…. memory… and ability.

But I have gained so much (yes… weight as well)

I am so grateful to be alive… I am so very grateful for my Talls, Smalls and Tinies… I have friends that never left… even when I forgot about them. (I forget everything currently in case you are wondering… I’ve had to scroll back to the top of this at least five times to see what I have written) … I do not know what I did in my life to deserve all of this… but it must have been good.

Oh… Did you really read this all the way to the end???
You get to see the CUTEST KITTEN ON THE PLANET THEN!!!

Grandparents Day Out! – The greatest story ever written… ever… fight me!

And on this sunday morning… on these blank little books… this magic is being delivered… with Donuts!

Blank Books

GRANDPARENTS DAY OUT

10/02/2016

This was a Sunday morning like no other. Grandma Kerry and Grandpa Benjamin were relaxing on the couch waiting for their Grandchildren to come!

The soft sun rays were shining through the window as the gentle wind blew. They felt very special as they quietly whispered to each other. They said, “It’s almost 10 o’clock! ”

The phone rang suddenly, “Hello?”

The best mother in the whole wide world was on the other end of that phone call “I don’t think we can make it! My most precious children have ‘<Insert Whatever Virus Here>’”

“OH NO!” Exclaimed the Grandparents! “You better stay home then! Grandma gets very sick with childhood illnesses!!! But we hope they get better soon!”

Grandpa Benjamin and Grandma Kerry looked at each other …. They were both feeling very sad not to get to have a Sunday Adventure with Jason, Cameron, Jordan and Addison! How could they cheer themselves up?

Grandma Kerry had an idea!

“Grandpa Benjamin, Lets go on an adventure just you and I!” she exclaimed

Grandpa Benjamin nodded his head excitedly “Okay! Let’s go to all the magical places we would never take the kids… because it is way too dangerous! But we are grownups!”

So they snuck out of the house past an Aunt Lacey who was playing Animal Jam at the computer. Tiptoed right by an Uncle Johnathon who was still sleeping, because he can sleep forever! They patted Zip on the head and scratched behind Shadow cats ear and just like that they hopped in their car and took off!

Giggling excitedly after their sneaky escape, they headed toward their first stop. “Remember what Jason said about the place that has Trampolines to Jump and Pools to Swim in?” Grandma Kerry asked Grandpa.

“Ofcourse! He is such a clever boy! If he ever knew the truth!” Grandpa turned the car in the direction of the super secret jump and swim land.

There was not a child in sight as jumping from trampolines into swimming pools was very dangerous! But these grandparents laugh in the face of danger!

“Ha Ha Ha” they laughed as the jumped high into the air and canonballed straight into the water.

Jump and Swim Land

When they surfaced Grandpa Benjamins beard was dripping and Grandma Kerrys black eye makeup was running down her cheeks, but they began to feel the loneliness of missing those magical kids get a little easier.

They jumped several more times. They were so big that their splashes were enormous! It was such a fun time!

“I suppose this would be the perfect time to check on our Rocket Ship! We never have time during the week because of work!” Grandpa said as they floated about the pool.

“Great Idea!” Said Grandma. “We can go there next, because we can never let those fantastic boys and their new little sister know we have it! My Goodness! Can you imagine? Cameron would push all the buttons!”

Grandpa nodded in agreement “Jordan is learning how to push things too, just like they always try to push my speakers!”

They left the windows down as the drove away to let their hair dry because  Space was cold and neither of them wanted to get sick because they definitely couldn’t go another Sunday without being able to play with the Grandkids.

They quickly put on their space suits, Grandma’s hair was so long it poked right out of her helmet. Grandpa tucked it in and helped zip it up. He was always taking such good care of people.

3…2…1 BLAST OFF!!!!

And just like that they were off!
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Rocketing through the atmosphere until they were up into the stars in space, and the Earth looked like a big pretty blue marble behind them. They shot past Mars and went through the rings of Saturn but it was just no fun without the kids. So they slingshotted around Jupiter and fell back to Earth knowing that as adventurous as Space Travel was… The best kind of adventures on Sunday Mornings were the ones with their Grandchildren.

Grandma Kerry missed covering Addison’s Face in a bazillion kisses, She missed Jason running and jumping into her arms, She missed stealing Cameron kisses every time he got close enough to her to steal them. She missed fake sneezing at Jordan so that she could sneaky kiss him too! Ah Ah Ah CHOO!!!!

Grandpa Benjamin missed tickling Jason, giving Cameron warm hugs, spinning Jordan around in circles and holding sweet baby Addison!

They looked at each other knowingly as they climbed out of their Rocket Ship.

Grandma held up 7 fingers to Grandpa.

Grandpa held up 7 fingers back to Grandma.

7 days and it would be Sunday again! Their favorite day of the week.

“Cameron asked for Donuts this week” Grandma Kerry told Grandpa Benjamin.

“Jason loooooooooooooooooooves Donuts!” Grandpa said.

“Addison is too little but Jordan is finally old enough to have them too!”

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Off to the bakery they went. Hoping that everyone would get feeling better soon and that Grandma Kerry wouldn’t catch the bug! No Antibodies! Whoever heard of such a thing!

They got enough Donuts for Everyone! Some for Mommy and Daddy, Even Uncle Johnathon and Aunt Lacey!

When their adventure was over they flopped back onto the couch and turned on the TV. They sure hoped that the next 7 days would go by quickly! They just loved Sunday Morning Adventures!!!

G&G

(Okay I totally put a picture of us not kissing in the books… but its funnier like this!)

Authors: Grandpa Benjamin and Grandma Kerry

 

Cover Artist: Uncle Johnathon (Cover Art below— and WOW!!!)

 

Illustrator: Aunt Lacey

 

GET WELL SOON!

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How to completely change your life in one week…. Wordless Wednesday!

Everyone Can Marry!

Everyone Can Marry!

The Kid Small Enough to still do this...

The Kid Small Enough to still do this…

Is 17 days away from doing this alone... and paid for his own car

Is 17 days away from doing this alone… and paid for his own car

I did some soul searching

I did some soul searching

Kind of lost my mind and started sending my boss texts like this...

Kind of lost my mind and started sending my boss texts like this…

Then quit my job

Then quit my job

#Huckabee2016

It has been too long since I have shared one of our chats… Also… yes… we know hashtags do not work in chats…

Kerry: #Huckabee2016
Mr Amazing: #FatChanceInHell2016
Kerry: Bahahaha!
Mr Amazing: #ReligiousMinorityRules
Kerry :He just threw his hat in the ring…. which btw… i think they should literally have to do if we are going to keep saying that
They all should wear a hat… and throw it in a ring
Mr Amazing: LOL the poll numbers are crazy
Kerry: Im gonna need some hats… Im gonna throw that shit in all the rings
Kerry: it is a sad sad day when bush is the lesser of all those evils
Mr Amazing: LOL, yes, yes he is
Kerry: Jesus save us all… and take the wheel
Mr Amazing:  <facepalm>
THROWING MY HAT IN THE RING…. More Specifically… This hat!
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The Leprechauns have landed!

 

Well the year had finally come that St. Patricks Day fell on a day that smallest child was at her Mom’s for the holiday… I knew last year it was coming so I put in a little extra effort into the prank until the St. Patricks Day eve was upon us and we got a tearful call from that co-parent… She hadn’t realized how much smallest child was looking forward to it… smallest child could be heard in the background screaming “If there is no Leprechauns, then there is no Santa, no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy… ” and so on… we thought she had reached the age of not believing and treated her accordingly… only to realize at the last moment that she might still need/want to believe… we figured it out when she was berating her Mom with lines such as “You are ruining my childhood!” … Soooo what is any stepmother supposed to do that has created this monster? I put in a quick call on the Leprechaun line… they managed to pull off a miracle… and her childhood was saved!

They tiptoed outside her Moms apartment... sneaking up to her car... as it was too late to get into the abode.

They tiptoed outside her Moms apartment… sneaking up to her car… as it was too late to get into the abode.

They busted into the car in a flurry of green glitter and shamrock confetti!

They busted into the car in a flurry of green glitter and shamrock confetti!

They left their wisely worded note...

They left their wisely worded note…

And goodies for the wee lass... including her half sister... the wee-er lass

And goodies for the wee lass… including her half sister… the wee-er lass

And that is the story of how we saved St. Patricks Day

And that is the story of how St. Patricks Day was saved!

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Tall Child was not forgotten in all of this… he was rewarded with gold coins of his own for his help in the Leprechaun Miracle

 

(You may want to visit our Leprechauns past visits… they are quite evil)

I have had people bemoan my Leprechaun Loyalty in the past… there was the one year a wee lass at school didn’t believe in my smalls Leprechauns

So we helped her build a trap (actually a house because she was afraid of hurting them)

So we helped her build a trap (actually a house because she was afraid of hurting them) The Leprechauns broke into her house (They may have known where the key was hidden and played… quite messily in their kitchen and left some treats!)

And if that is a bit of the stretch from the original prompt I apologize … But you can’t talk about being tricked without a little Leprechaun story!

Writing Prompt :A Time I Was Tricked

Writing Prompt :A Time I Was Tricked

Can I just… No… No… for the love of all that is holy

mama kats Write a poem inspired by the last conversation you had with your child

I slide out from behind the wheel… I think I am going to be ill…

He gets in & adjusts the seat … His expression makes it clear he thinks this is neat!

I buckle in tight … the inside of my cheek I begin to bite!

He puts the vehicle into gear… and smiles to himself over my fear.

Out onto the road he drives… I think I am breaking out in hives.

The first stop sign is not far… I almost go through the windshield of the car.

HUG THE CENTER LINE… YOU ARE DOING JUST FINE

Im screaming and I know it… it was only yesterday he got his first zit!

FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY … PLEASE DRIVE MORE SLOWLY

He begins to get a feel for the road… he is in now in driving mode

I let him park in the driveway… that was enough for one day!

“Mom you are the best!” … He smiled and beamed with pride.

“Son, Let’s give driving a rest”… That was the day I almost died.

fin.

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