I’ve been gone… but I haven’t forgotten.

Globally, as of  14 June 2022, there have been 533,816,957 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 6,309,633 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 7 June 2022, a total of 11,864,214,773 vaccine doses have been administered.

But wait …. there is more…

As of 8 June 2022, 1285 laboratory confirmed cases and one probable case have been reported to WHO from 28 countries in four WHO Regions where monkeypox is not usual or had not previously been reported. This represents an increase of 505 laboratory confirmed cases since the previous Disease Outbreak News on 4 June 2022 when 780 cases were reported. As of 8 June 2022, there have been no associated reported deaths in these four Regions. 
OH come on now! if we cannot laugh about it…. what can we do (I MEAN please wash your hands and wear a mask if you’re in public.)

There is so much I should be telling you all…. beside the fact that I am alive…. but … you guessed it! Ive been fairying… tis the season…. so just know I live… I love…. I laugh… the end.

STORYTELLERS

Oral tradition tells us the earth began when Crawfish dove into the watery depths of the world and built the first landmass from mud at the bottom of the ocean. From these early beginnings, all things good sprang to life, including Me! So sit right back and I’ll tell a tale ….

Friday the 25th I went to the Dentist at 9 am to have a broken tooth fixed…. that I had cracked … on bread?? two days prior. This is where it started. The dentist felt my jaw crumbling underneath the broken tooth…. extracted it… did an emergency extraction of a molar on the opposite side… cut out the crumbling portion of my Jaw…. resectioned it… and put in bone grafts…. this gave me two black eyes and a black jaw line…. and apparently Covid.

I tested positive Tuesday…. Surprise! TWO YEARS!! for TWO YEARS I have done anything and everything they suggested to not get this…. and here it was finally. 

Pause for the gratitude I feel for the fact that it was now… when there are medicines… vaccines… and room in the hospitals.

and it is a good thing… because even though I am fully vaccinated… and it is supposed to be a mild variant… It tried to kill me with in the first 24 hours. It is really disgusting to tell you about this… but I am a story teller so you get all the details!… I wake up feeling like someone has poured hot cement in my sinuses and chest everyday… Today for the first time, I had the presence of mind not to panic when this happened and choke down advil, which once it has kicked in allows me to be able to cough and swallow until I can breathe.

I’ve been quarantined in my bedroom since Tuesday- literally haven’t left it…. Mr Amazing just keeps sliding me what I need into the room. Ironically when we came to work at home- I bought this hospital tray as a desk…. bahahahaha soooo here I am using it in bed really in bed, not just sitting on a bed. 

Why do I tell you all this? Well… because im not very professional.

While fevered I bought Mr Amazing a Digeridoo… and the cats an automatic laser pointer…. so this has not been for nothing <shrug>

Today was my secretly chosen date for Fairy Citys Annual Emergence (NUMBER 7!!!) obviously that is not happening… Luckily because I made it up- it can be rescheduled … there is something else eating away at this hippy heart and soul of mine… Ukraine. I have already donated every dime I can to help… and I feel completely helpless… I know that this will not mean anything to anyone but me… but I am dedicating my Fairy City this year to those brave people… to anything Anti-Putin …. all the words I paint… all the art I make… it is being acted out right now by those brave souls…. from the farmers laughing as they use a tractor to take a tank… to the people returning to fight…. to the people going to safety to return to fight another day…. they represent everything brave… and good… and kind… as well as the Syrian refugees… and those suffering in Myanmar… no… no not you… trucker convoy people… not you…. them! So on that note… So much love and light to all of you… and as always… We will be the hopeful

Situation Report

Globally, as of 7 April 2021, there have been 131,837,512 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 2,862,664 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 5 April 2021, a total of 604,032,357 vaccine doses have been administered.

In the US – 30,596,830 Confirmed cases, 554,420 Deaths, 219,194,215 Vaccines administered.

In Utah – 387,814 Confirmed cases, 2,137 Deaths, 994,402 Vaccines administered.

Two weeks were marked this past weekend since my second dose of the Pfizer Vaccine… there was rejoicing and gathering afoot!

We went into our first store together (Mr Amazing and I) – and in my ventures I have discovered something we are gonna have to have words about… so here they are; I am having a hard time. I said it. I have begged pleaded and cried over being expected to stay home for over a year…. and now? I am REALLY STRUGGLING with leaving home…. Lets discuss.

The office is one of my favorite places… thanks to lupus I do not have a lot of steps in me… I have learned that being in the office all day… my social and soul needs are met… I have friends there I can rely on… I get to meet new people on the regular…I get to have me time (away from family time)… I get to help improve the world through acts of kindness and supporting education. Its really fantastic actually. So though the office is still closed to the public… I got permission to go in for a day… unpack my desk from a remodel… and make it ready to use upon return as more people get their vaccines and case counts go down…. sounds lovely right? well… here is how that went… I didn’t sleep the night before at all… in the pit of my stomach I felt ill… I couldn’t eat… I woke up way earlier than necessary…. got dressed five different times (mind you- I KNEW THERE WASN’T ANYONE THERE TO SEE ME) … I ran a red light on the way (the whole green arrow thing got me) … I am not sure I would have made it in the office at all if someone I knew wasn’t there… who came to my car to help me carry things in. I was sweaty and out of breath when I finally got to my working spot… I did fine after that as I went hours without seeing anyone else… I unpacked my office… cleaned out some stuff … forgot part of my laptop at home (which worked out because the sickness was coming back to my stomach pit at the thought of exiting the building) so after 7 hours I drove back home and worked my last hour from home with the big monitor so I could accomplish something needed. I didn’t die. I hoped it was a fluke. I was SO GRATEFUL that I had done it when others weren’t there to see me be a hot mess…. I did not know I was now a shut in.

I had done fine when at the store with Mr Amazing… but something I really wanted to treat myself to was a trip to the art store… by myself… I used to do this at least 3 days a week… wandering the aisles so often for supplies and inspiration the cashiers greeted me by name. I tried to go Sunday, I tried again Monday this time inviting Mr Amazing and Miss B (neither took me up on the invite, and I didn’t go) Tuesday I had a doctors appointment… a different specialist this time… and sure enough… I didn’t sleep … I couldn’t eat… and a fine sheen of sweat covered my face as I put on my boots to go… This wasn’t something I could put off… and I am not ready to talk about it yet… though surely I will in future posts. I survived… the doctors office is the one place I have been a few times during this last 18 months… but the fact that I was struggling even with that wasn’t lost on me. So in full Kerry fashion… I ran at my fears head on and full speed. I went to the art store directly afterwards… forced myself in… and forced myself back out (apparently checking out with a cashier was also something I had to tackle)

This is important for me to talk about because not a lot of people really went into as much of a lockdown as I did… I understand what a privilege it was that I was able to do so… to stay safe and keep everyone else safe…. I have always hated crowds… and well… most places you would find a crowd… but I have always lived my life to the fullest… one adventure after another… one shenanigan after another… I did not expect and was not prepared for these feelings I have not experienced before… ESPECIALLY after a full year of so much sadness at being separated and shut in.

This is important for me to talk about and share… not only for myself…. but I have a suspicion I am not alone… I think as we progress through this life as it now is… this will become an issue for many… a mental health issue… a social issue. Possibly a fashion issue – as you admire my lovely now grey hair… I was a salon regular prior to this pandemic… I really can’t see me returning… mostly because well.. I have really learned to appreciate every little thing about being lucky enough to age… including grey hair…. but partly because… that amount of returning to that level of normalcy feels insurmountable at the moment… Look- I don’t shut doors… I know I may end up back at the salon… I mean I know for a fact im gonna get my haircut… my eyes checked…. all the other things I haven’t been able to do during this pandemic… but I have also learned to appreciate my time a bit more… you never know how much you have… and I just kind of like who I am… I truly have had the time to get to know myself… inside and out… during this pandemic… and well… I am pretty amazing… grey hair and all…. these are things you discover about yourself when you aren’t constantly comparing yourself to others…. because you haven’t seen others …. at all… and maybe that is the root of my issue. Maybe I am afraid to lose what I have found… have it taken from me as quickly as all the other things I hold so dear in my life were during this pandemic.

So I am putting on my new sweat suit… and embracing the time I have to work from home… rather than resenting it today… because soon… the office will be open again (hopefully for real this time) and I look forward to returning and meeting people again… and I just hope whatever it is you are going through right now… you know you are loved… you matter… and we can do hard things (like go to the art store apparently) because life is not about existing… it is about truly living… something I intend to continue to do.

And then… Fairy City turned 6

Globally, as of 27 January 2021, there have been 99,638,507 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 2,141,468 deaths, reported to WHO

I find myself blogging less and less about the pandemic as we are at its one year mark… maybe because I have gotten used to being in my home all the time… maybe because though my heart hurts without my adult children and grandchildren… my heart hurting is starting to feel normal… the vaccine is making its rounds… front line workers first… educators… then the elderly… as it should be… it has not reached me yet. I went to the outside yesterday just to have some routine lab work done and you’d have thought it was an event… rather than 45 minutes outside of my house. I even wore a bra.

But as the sun came up this morning unnoticed behind a grey cloud filled sky I took a trip down memory lane… which for me… with short term memory problems… was quite a bit of magic within itself. I have completed my prep work for Fairy City’s annual emergence. I say prep work… because my trip down memory lane showed me how much more I do once it is out…. who knows what this spring will bring… I do know my San Diego Fairy is coming to set up… and at the moment that is what I look forward to the most… Spring will bring warmer temps… and the return of outside time with my friends and family (and babies!!!) until the vaccine can be widely distributed and I have hope we can put this pandemic to rest finally…

Ode to my San Diego Fairy: guys… this girl… when I got the tumor and had an existential crisis about my new normal… I thought I’d have to give up my shenanigans… I already depend so much on #MrAmazing and my kids to take care of me … this was too much to ask… so this daughter of mine from another mother… and father… said she’d be my legs… she flies herself out here to lil #bountifulutah to put my art out… and to pick it up… and I just couldn’t be anymore grateful #fairycity wouldn’t exist without her and I love her like my own. (And I love my own sooooooo much) and we recycle everything!!

From my Facebook page

I looked at the very first fairy doors I made in 2016 (they can be found with enough research either on this blog or on my insta) it was april… I made six doors just as a random act of kindness and asked someone to be my get away driver… because I didnt know how they would be recieved (thanks fluff!!!) … I ended up doing about 40 doors… some mushrooms… some lady bugs…. that year… I got my first thank you note from kids… and I was hooked… That was the very year I got sick… though we didnt know what it was yet… it certainly was something… and I often painted and hot glued in bed the second year- 2017 -I made my first flowers… I wanted to branch out and gave the Thought Bubble project a trial run… along with about 80 fairy doors here in town… I shipped another 20 or so all over the country… and a few even internationally. In the fall of 2017 I did the arts festival… and the reason box campaign (yes I would classify these as campaigns of kindness) In 2018 (Year 3) the thought bubbles gave way to rocks… as I was constantly trying to get rid of the few remaining pieces that were not biodegradable (the wire, the glaze) 2019 brought those solutions… the project was now fully nontoxic and biodegradable…. This fairy season between year 3 and 4 also brought the Tumor… the Lymphoma… and a Lupus diagnosis.

2020… Rumblings of quarantine were around… but I had prepped my biggest year yet… this was the year of the street signpost… and the opening doors… this was the first year I was going to try to do more to remind people of more than kindness… to do more… and on the first day of quarantine… fairy city emerged… all at once… in a big way… because I couldnt see staging it with all the hope deflating from this planet like a popped balloon. I put out around 100 doors… many tiny games… and small fun items… the fairies joined in the “Black lives matter” movement… and the health initiatives about masks…

It is now 2021- I have a new goal of Upcycling all of my street art… making it from things that were something else before… of having no waste… and still being completely biodegradable and non toxic… I would estimate I am 99% there… I say that though some of the material was bought… it was bought in the pandemic… when businesses needed support… it was given to me as gifts… for my birthday… for christmas… as acts of love and kindness… I consider this an upcycle… as it served 2 purposes…I am six weeks away from the San Diego fairy coming for the great emergence…. This is the year of the Fairy Houses. Im nervous and excited. I hope they find who needs them the most. I hope however they are received they bring joy… and if not… they have brought me much.

Joy even in the pandemic.

Here is to year 6… Happy Birthday Fairy City…. and many more.

and now… to think upon year 7… what shenanigans can I get up to?

A Brand New Day

Globally, as of 20 January 2021, there have been 94,963,847 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 2,050,857 deaths, reported to WHO. The United States broke the threshold of 400k…. Utah broke the threshold of 1500.

After all this time…. the year that seems like a decade… President Elect (as he was still at the time) finally acknowledged our loss in the most beautiful Covid Memorial service last night… the bells in DC tolled 400 times… here in Utah… ours tolled 15 times.

“If there are angels I think they’re the nurses (medical staff) working through this pandemic”-President Elect Biden (for the last day!)… I completely agree… Thankyou for the memorial and reflection…. yes these are photos of my computer screen… yes I always want to remember where I was. Ready for some more pictures of my computer screen… because lets talk about today!!!!

It started for me at 5:30 am… at which time I declared loudly I was not getting out of bed until he (who must not be named) was gone… see I live in the Mountain Standard Time Zone… and the departing President was in the Eastern Time Zone… and scheduled to depart at 8am… so I closed my eyes again until it was so…. I then leapt out of bed and hopped in the shower… singing “I’m gonna wash that man right outta my hair” the entire time. Note: this is the only time in my life I remember singing in the shower.

Then I moved my office (back to the living room) and put on pants! yes pants for work… because I am ready to try again… I am ready to work on the world again… I am brimming with hope.

Yep! Tons of more pictures of my screen… sure… there are the professional pictures online… but I want to remember where I was… that I was sobbing uncontrollably.

Soooooo many tears of joy and soooo many tears of release for what we’ve been through… not just the prior administration … but being a woman! The barriers and ceilings of race and inequality – Kamala Harris broke them!! “This is our historic moment and unity is the path forward!”- President Biden!

And I was Singing the National Anthem! Clapping like a fool! Hand over my heart alone in my living room! Amazing!

I washed my face… and continued my day of work… but the smile never left… and I have so many reasons to smile.

YEP!!!! Grandbaby on the way!!!!

and so I leave you with this…. as so PERFECTLY said during the inauguration.

Brave enough to see it (the light) and brave enough to be it.

Amanda Gorman

The Pandemic… The Country… and Time… They all rage on

Globally, as of 14 January 2021, there have been 90,759,370 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 1,963,169 deaths, reported to WHO.

Christmas came… and went…. so did New Years… the vaccine arrived and began distribution… I am still in my house… waiting patiently for my turn… I spoke to a friend today who has the virus… she is tired… she is sick… and she is a lucky one…This is how we Christmased… in a pandemic… I have not seen them since… My heart feels like it is breaking… but wait for it…

My heart is not broken yet… because it is getting hardened…. Oh why the hell not just throw it out there and save myself some time…. There is no sex trafficking ring underground the pizza parlor – they use Epstein island or the phone book… there’s no doubt someone’s got something somewhere on a laptop – I really don’t care… I’m sure my kids have things on their cellphone they don’t want me to see…Obama is not hiding in the publishers clearinghouse van coming for your guns… there’s no storm… no kracken… no conspiracy… there was no steal… the FBI has stated it was not antifa… they’re not deep state… there’s no deep state…. they flaunt their actions in public proudly and people cheer…. we voted… a winner has been certified… the time stamp of someone’s tweet or where they’re looking in a photo is not a code or message…. why ya all making the bald eagle out to be some angry pro wrestler? It’s a bird- I like it! But it isn’t wearing an Uncle Sam hat and beating anyone up… and then… the insurrection happened… because apparently they did not read this rant filled paragraph…. Trump was impeached AGAIN… and President Elect Biden will hold his inauguration with the National Guard sleeping on the hard marble floors of the capitol building…. Hate is a stranger to me… it is not something I’ve experienced very often … but it fills my heart this morning… I’m ashamed of “nearly half” … how were the lies believable when clearly the words “nearly half” by definition is not the majority … I’m ashamed… I hope they’re embarrassed and ashamed… disgust churns in my gut… don’t worry about me I will work through it.., love will win the battle inside me… Trump deserves to be in prison… Giuliani and Rubio as well as Hawley should serve time…”Removing Trump will only make his followers more violent” isn’t a call for unity. It’s extortion. I suggest you take care of your own battle… for it is so much uglier than mine.

And so I paint… and I work… and I talk about it… and I fight that battle that much like the things in the title of this post… rages inside of me…

They’re all on the instagram…. same name as the blog… incase you needed to be reminded why we keep fighting… why we keep loving… So I will close with that… so much light and love to you all who have found your way here… it is hard… this is effing hard… but we can do hard things.

The Superhero and The Secretary

Before I go onto my story I would like to mention this pandemic is still raging out of control… but there is hope in the spring… the vaccine is coming.

Globally, as of December 3rd there have been 63,719,213 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 1,482,084 deaths, reported to WHO.

Worth mentioning however…. this will be my first post since the beginning of this thing that is not about this thing…. maybe with hope is coming some healing.

At first, When I became sick… I felt like my life was falling apart… doctors suggested it was stress… and thanks to Mr. Amazing I was finally to a point in my life that I could stop being the breadwinner and live a bit more simply…. So I left my big world traveling career… and with a book in mind… that a publisher friend whom I’d sent the synopsis to had already shown interest in… I left… I wrote the book… It won top mentions in writing circles… I never even submitted it for publication… because I wasn’t happy with it… and didn’t want to put the work into it that it would require to become great… Don’t get me wrong… I have it… and I will one day… when the wind blows me that way.

Hold on tight… The wind blows me all over the place in this back story to my super hero life.

Out of nowhere… I began to paint… Yep paint… Id dabbled here and there… but when you make a list of things you can do to be mindful and release stress… Travel (I did this quite a bit as well) … Painting…. etc… you get the idea… Infact ALL of this is captured in the posts of this blog.

Well guys… I’m a worker bee… a real over achiever… and I have been working my entire life…. So soon my home was overflowing with Paintings… everyones room had them… my friends had them… and soon my street art project was born (Fairy City- Search it)

During this time I contracted for a while… doing the same type of work as I had in my career… but part time… two years in fact I did this… and regardless of what happened with that… I feel like we were wildly successful.

But I was getting sicker… sneaking into the office early to disinfect everything I had touched because I had strep… or pink eye…. or whatever else happen to be the case at the time… and the sicker I became the angrier I became…contracting ended and I did an art show (like hurricane force wind changes)

I knew until I got healthy I was never going to be able to work like I had before… so that became my focus… I applied for a job at the state… not for the pay… but for the benefits…. but in order to work… I knew it was going to have to be something I believed in… So I headed to education… because I had at this point figured out I was a superhero of the streets (again… Fairy City LOL) but I needed to feel good about my daytime work as well… how could I affect the change in the world I wanted to see? Education. But, I needed no stress… and nothing hanging on me incase I disappeared due to whatever invisible thing was trying to kill me. So I landed a job as Executive Secretary in the EXACT right place… my disguise was almost complete…. add a couple tumors… some lymphoma…. chemo drugs… oh and kill the hamstring. PERFECT! No one would ever suspect who I really was… including myself.

Pause for a moment:

I HATE THE WORD SECRETARY- I HATE IT… yet, I applied for it… and loathed it even more. I have a degree… my mind is brilliant! unless I am forgetting simple words… or have brain fog… it works a thousand times better than my body at this point… and it works fast… it thinks of new ways to do things… better ways… it thinks out of the box! It gets shit done guys! My pride became my nemesis… My ego was mountain high… and it wasn’t okay with this new title. I had a lot of work to do on it…. and luckily as I went from hospital bed… to cane…. to wheelchair… back to walking sticks… I had the time to do so.

Story Continued: Job openings have been posted… and my DREAM job was one of them… a director position in Equity…. The REAL ability to put all those ideas and words I painted on fairy doors into action. I had the qualifications… and the reputation in the building (or so my ego, coworkers, and husband tells me) … and I stopped short … I have an autoimmune disease… I am barely hanging on sometimes… I have to lay down after I shower…

How could I maintain any kind of ethical integrity and apply for that job knowing I am no longer able to do it… Knowing that walking into a campus is all the walking I can do for a day… and suddenly… I didn’t hate the word Secretary any more… Most people with my diagnosis would be on disability… I am a force to be reckoned with… one these diseases have not faced before… I AM THE SECRETARY!!! I am affecting as much change in this world as I am able… and a bit more… and that is good enough….

Moral of this story? Sometimes the phrase “It is good enough” is literal… I am good enough.

Plague… Pandemic…. Whatevs

As of August 6th, 2020

Total (new cases in last 24 hours)
Globally 18,614,177 cases (259,344) 702,642 deaths (6,488)

Seems to be slump time again… collectively mankind seems to fall into slumps during this… right now seems to be a big one…. Im picking fights on facebook… QAnon has riled up the right wing masses… the blaze reading…. hannity hearing… bigoted believers? too far? maybe into this #SaveTheChildren thing… and you know what? Im here for that… I mean im always here for that… do I think #PizzaGate is a thing? not really… but do I think hollywood elite and political peeps are abusing children and trafficking them? yes, I know they are… so im glad something is coming out of that group that may be constructive? we will see

Trump is a hot mess… as usual… I watched his Axios interview one night over and over again … not sleeping at all… because well… it just made me happy? why? i couldnt explain it…. maybe it is because he was so helpless in the face of reality… he was less scary

I live behind a screen…. from a phone screen to a computer screen to a TV screen and back to a phone screen again… I am not eating right… not exercising…. not sleeping… not even showering often enough… im eating mashed potatoes for breakfast… but I did renew my aclu membership… so there is hope

I am here for that – What I am not here for is that I look just like my sister in this photo… sigh

I went to the outside this week… this is what the outside looks like for me

But I am alive… and that is something no one should be taking for granted right now… there was a HUGE explosion in Beirut… thousands of people dying of Covid-19 on the daily… Hurricane season is in all its glory… protests and police brutality are still a thing… as well as the karens… I mean… I seriously have nothing else to say… other than… WONT SOMEONE THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN??? oh wait… QANON has that…. how about… nah…Still working from home… still wearing masks… seeing my peeps only through snap chat and facebook…

I got nothing… here… have some hope… because this is all I got going for me right now…

and there is yet another riveting entry in my Corona Chronicles.

My Covid-19 Chronicles…

I think this is like my millionth post (not literally… but it feels that way) about life in this pandemic… Lets start with some pictures…

6 ft and masks dance recital with her sister 🙂
The Birthday Masks were a hit… my god… they are so beautiful.

July 29th Total (new cases in last 24 hours)
Globally 16,558,289 cases (215,127) 656,093 deaths (5,274)

Here locally… the battle wages on about what to do about schools… nationally the battle is what to do about our President… unmarked cars are rolling up to protests with federal agents just snatching people off the street…. sigh… I have been obsessed with Dystopian stories my entire life… so I am well prepared for this new normal… I think I am finally prepared for the grey hair too…. Check this out

Friends keep asking me what I think… what to do… what I keep telling them is wait two weeks… it will be an entirely different reality again… its been like this since March… The entire world is changing and we have to keep adjusting and not planning on anything… because it is all unknown… if that ever doesn’t happen with in two weeks… we will know things are possibly settling down… wanna know a secret?

That’s all

Yep! Fairy City is alive and well… infact it is very much doubling its efforts to keep spirits high… and chins up… and injustices spoken against.

Pandemic Life

I should have been tagging these posts… This life… this pandemic… this quarantine… this Covid-19… as images of the Spanish flu are resurfacing… I cannot help but think one day… someone will show mine… That is why I take so many pictures of the changes in my life.

July is a serious Month in my little patchwork family… SO MANY things happen… Two Holidays… Four Birthdays… (previous posts) I have been writing letters for years to my children on their birthdays… Let me show you what seeing my Tribe looks like now…

This is what my Grandbabies wanted for their respective Birthdays at the end of this month… not only did I volunteer to make them… I cried a little that they are so excited for Birthday Masks

My Soul brother Facetimed me so my Soul mother and I could see each other… I havent hugged her in almost six months

I love them so much

THIS is how my son announced he had proposed to his beautiful now fiance… you guys… my heart cant take anymore. They let me take pictures through the screen of my window…

AND my street art project achieved virtual stardom this week with the HIGHEST possible honor… and I still cannot contain my joy about this…

Globally, as of 17 July 2020, Total (new cases in last 24 hours)
13,616,593 cases (237,743) 585,727 deaths (5,682)

This is how you celebrate your new engaged only Sons (only biological child) 21st birthday 🙁

Wait for it…

What comes next… who knows… the entire world is changing week by week… I guess we are surviving… I don’t know about Thriving…. but we sure do love.