Articles for the Month of July 2021

Jul 20 2021

Processing the Process of going forward…

Author: Kerry

Globally, as of 20 July 2021, there have been 190,671,330 confirmed cases of COVID-19, including 4,098,758 deaths, reported to WHO. As of 19 July 2021, a total of 3,436,534,998 vaccine doses have been administered.

That opening is how you know this is going to be a post about the pandemic… Today we worked in the office for the first time… you know the first several months of this pandemic I was so proactive in talking to people… staying connected… checking on those I knew were alone…. then I, like everyone else hit a point that I hunkered down… holed up… and just survived… usually with out a shower… or pants on…. So here we are… 16 months later…. and a third of the work force is in the office… and I find myself in the office… I don’t really wanna scare anyone… but I thought that was the end for me… I thought that if the virus didnt get me… cancer would… but here I sit this evening….. with my most recent biopsy result being benign… finding myself reflecting again…

First Observation – People forgot gum or breathmints exist…. they exist for a reason…. use them…

Second Observation – after the conversation is over… but you are still leaving the area…. I can still hear you… hiccup burp man.

Third Observation – Tylenol… get it… you are gonna need it… and not only have I taken it… but I have shared it with many… it is very different under florescent lighting again… hearing conversations from upstairs… down stairs… the hall way… the constant beeping of the elevator that I have never noticed before… and so forth.

Most important observation – I love humans… I really really do… back to back I saw two silver haired … long haired… stoic and strong woman… I dont believe they even know each other… but the combination of them both being here… both having survived after I have had to say goodbye to some others… well… I choked up… then cried in relief silently…. discovered that I was one of those woman…. because they both stopped by to see if I too had survived… I listened to survival methods…stories of loss… and so much more…. I am so incredibly grateful to be here for it.

I don’t know what is going to come next… I do know that what has come so far is more than anyone thought they could handle… yet here we are.

Jul 17 2021

A birthday letter to my son

Author: Kerry

… the year he became a dad.

There are no words … no measure … no way to express my feelings… but hey! I’m stubborn! let’s try anyways…

I am writing this here in a bedroom that was once yours… Happy Birthday Johnathon… I do not know a better occasion than now to write to you and tell you a few l things that I want you to know.

It seems like yesterday that I was pregnant with you… I was looking forward to the day I could finally see your face and admire the miracle that you are. Needless to say… I am now looking at a new face… one that looks exactly like yours did.

And you were not just the cutest little miracle baby… but also a sensitive little boy with a good character and an amazing attitude toward life and its challenges. You have that since you were small.

Being a Parent is the hardest job in the world. Of course, there were times where I did not know how to handle you… Yep! I made a lot of mistakes by yelling at you. I’ve been reactive, and you know I did not have a manual on how to educate my child. Nor do you…. No manual can prepare a parent-to-be for parenthood. It is such a unique experience to have this innocent little human being in your arms at first, depending completely on you. And with time, you get more and more influence and responsibility on his evolution. It is the hardest job in the world until it is time to stop doing it… and let them do it with another innocent little human being in their arms.

It is a huge task that one needs to take on every single day consciously. And I know you will do it well… because that is who you are… a man with his heart in the right place.

You will be the best father one can be. You got an excellent example from your own dad when you were young. A fantastic example from the BFG as you got older. Honestly… you have a long trail of the kind of men it takes to love unconditionally. Because, the only task we have as a parent is to love your child unconditionally.
Do you have any idea…. how proud I am to be your mother and grandma to your first born child.

You are the son that every mother can only dream of. I thank the Universe every single day for giving me you.

I promise you that I will be the best grandmother… Know that you and your family will always be welcome and loved unconditionally. I thank you with all my heart for being the man you are.

Once I became a mother myself… I understood my purpose so much better.

Take good care of yourself… please do not forget to take good care of yourself and to put yourself first. A parent who loves himself and practices daily conscious self-care is proven to be a better parent because one cannot give love from an empty vessel.

One last thing… your child is SO LUCKY to have you as his and come into your family. I cannot wait to see the shenanigans you two get up too…

Love you always… Happy Birthday Bug.

Jul 14 2021

Ode To My Stepdaughter- On her 15th Birthday

Author: Kerry

We don’t always get along perfectly,
I’m sure we never will.
No matter what’s been said or done,
Still love you… little pill.

I’m sorry I say it constantly;
I’m sorry I’m not saying it out loud now.
I express my truest feelings in writing-
It’s the only way I know how.

Things that require me to say them
Sometimes might go left unsaid;
Still, writing you these birthday letters
I know it will be read.

What if you don’t read it all through
Or roll your eyes?
These years of birthday letters
show you just how time flies

I love you so much
For the beautiful girl you are.
My biggest fear right now?
Next year you’re going to drive a car!!!

Sometimes I wonder if
You look at me and see
An obstacle to your wishful thoughts
An obstacle to being more carefree.

When you daydream about growing up,
About becoming an artist or wife,
Look behind you, I’ll be cheerleading
And grateful to be a part of your life.

If you didn’t know
What worries me most about you…
I worry about how you feel
and how feelings control the things you do.

“Don’t worry about what others think”
Is easier said than done.
I worry that it bothers you still
and with which crowd you’ll run.

Sometimes life tugs at me to hug you
And squeeze you till you smile,
This pandemic and quarantine was…
Well! It has been a long while.

I hope you are proud of yourself
Of how much you have grown.
I just know that despite my love
For you, much of it has been alone.

Though we have gotten closer
and we have been brave.
I’m not exactly the kind of friend
whose company I know you crave.

You are my child,
Even though I’m not your mother.
And I love you as sincerely
As I love your brother.

I have never hoped
To take your mother’s place.
Life has brought you as my stepdaughter
In a gesture of hope and grace.

This year we truly have become friends
But it’s still not my first priority.
I’m just “mama bear” cheering for you,
Even as you are raging against your parents authority.

So whether you really understand this or not,
Although I may never know.
The truth is I believe so much in you and…
You taught me I am never too old to grow.

I wrote this poem just for you;
I meant every single word I have said.
Whatever happens in either of our lives,
Remember what you have just read.

I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE HOME!!!!