From: Me

To: Charlie Bosephus

The Goodrich/Pack Estate

The 15th Day of April in the 2020th year of our lord.

Subject: Written Warning

Charlie,

Written on the 30th day of Quarantine – The M&M Deceiver Day

This letter serves to formally document your failure to comply with the service terms of our agreement. Your lack of adherence to such terms have been a great disruption to the workplace performance.

Though you have met your quota with regards to cuteness and comfort, your continuous cries for attention, the bringing of your favorite red string and laying it on my work items, the insistence in grooming yourself in front of my monitor and what I fondly refer to as “Trashing the Camp”

For an example of Trashing the Camp- please refer to the gorilla scene from Disneys Tarzan… the imagine it with a Kitty… in my Kitchen.

and general mayhem has resulted in significant loss of concentration and productivity.

While we value your contribution to our lives, I must insist that you demonstrate an immediate change in your workplace habits or you will face more severe disciplinary actions

Like I can make your red string disappear Bosephus!

Since you have no opposable thumbs… and cannot spell… when staring at me… bring me your string if you understand and agree to the details in this letter. Comments may be addressed to your supervisor and written on the back of this letter to be entered in to HR Record.

Let the record show… she brought her string….

Smiffbib – Vice President of said Estate

UPDATE 6-30-2020

On a call… Charlies in the kitchen just crying like a baby… truly the saddest cry you’ve ever heard… and I hear her start trying to drag her bowl to me in the living room… so I text My husband frantically to come feed her for me because I’m on a call… he finds her food thrown out of the bowl in the floor… but cleans it up and gives her more anyways… then I get handed this…