I suppose writing letters to people on this blog has become “my thing” since I am not really blogging currently…. and although I have zero intention of going anywhere…. I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you today… If the sun were to rise tomorrow as it usually does… but this time without me in this world… I would want you to know how much I love, admire, and respect you.

You’re an amazing man… a man who has stood by my side through everything… and has loved me… supported me… and given my heart strength and sheltered me in a way I didn’t know was possible…. or needed…. you are my safe place. In the time that I’ve known you… not a day has gone by in which I wasn’t overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude and affection… affection I am not always showing…

You’ve lent me your ear when I’ve needed to vent… and you’ve given me advice when I’ve felt lost. You’ve offered unwavering support when I’ve been scared… You’ve even challenged me when I’ve needed it most… When I’ve been tired… you’ve helped me along. You’ve cried with me when I’ve been hurt… and cried for me when I’ve been sick. You’ve been my legs for a year now… and Benjamin… I cannot thank you enough for that. You have made this life so much better for me.

You are truly more than the love of my life. You are the most precious friend I could have asked for, too. I love you so very much, and I hope to be with you always–through every sunrise and every sunset… Through every “Hulk Angry” moment … Through every giggle… Through the Dog poop…. Through the lack of Cat poop…. Through job changes… hammer fists… laundry mountain…. all of it is us. I love us.

I would like you to know that never in my life had I thought that I would ever find someone who loves me the way you do…  Not that I believed that I was incapable of being loved… well sometimes… but I simply could not fathom finding someone who could ever appreciate and cherish me in a way I could see it…

You do that for me… It has been ten years… and I still feel… every single day… Important to you… Valued… loved.

What exactly is a soulmate? Does every single person in the world have one? Do each of us individuals only get one shot at being matched up with one other person in the entire world? I don’t believe in soul mates… I do not believe in destiny… or any of that other sappy crap… but for lack of a better expression… You are my soulmate. You make my soul happy. You are my soul’s companion, and above all… my friend. I truly believe that there is not one other person in the world who gets my humor… which is so odd… my mannerisms… bizarre as they are… and my heart like you do.

I want you to know how much I appreciate you. I tell you enough… but I do not know how to make you feel it or show it enough. You do so many little things for me that go unnoticed. I want to apologize for the moments when I am blind to see all you do for me… or resent it…. I want to apologize if I have ever overlooked your needs… I want you to know that even when I am incapable of seeing how lucky I am to have you… I still am forever thankful.

I want you to know that our friendship means everything to me… and that I simply could not survive in this crazy world without you. You give me the truth when I need to hear it… courage when I need confidence… and love when I am flawed. There is no one else I would rather lay up at night and talk with about crazy things that only the two of us could even think of…. cue the 80s sing offs… and midnight “church services”!!!! There is no one else who I would rather travel with… see the world… and experience new adventures with. There is no one else who simply could ever get me the way you do.

You have given me a safe haven to be myself and not be ashamed of all of the parts that make up my soul. You give me security that makes me feel safe and centered… a shoulder to cry on when needed and a hand to hold when I am lost and scared in the dark. I know that whatever life throws my way… I will be able to handle it because you are at my side. There is nothing that we cannot face together. Without you… I am whole. But with you, I am complete. You help me believe I am strong and capable of anything I set my mind to.

I want to thank you for giving me love when I am undeserving at times… For your forgiveness when I make mistakes and hurt you with my daggering words and actions… For your kind and gentle touch when you comfort me… for your ability to apologize when you are in the wrong and take responsibility for your actions… I mean… your ability to do so is so strong that you do it even when it is not yours… You have taught me so much about tenderness and unconditional love… even when it is hard to give.

I want to thank you for your continued support and faith in me as I journey through my adventures. You have never once doubted me… and lover… I come up with some up some crazy stuff… you’ve never told me I should give up… or told me that I could not do something… in fact… you have tagged along and encouraged the madness. My positivity and confidence in you continues to baffle you each day. But don’t you realize… You are my support system and my fan club… my motivation to push myself and always reach for bigger and higher and more ridiculous goals. You have taught me to believe in myself and to appreciate my own worth… a task that is not always easy.

If you ever feel like I am taking you for granted… or question what it is I see in you…. please open up this letter. Let it be a reminder of how I feel about you and your worth to me. Please remember how much I love you. I mean… I really love you. I love you deeply… and I always will.

If I were to suddenly leave this world sooner than later… I would be overjoyed that I experienced such a rare and honest form of love. To have been loved and cherished by someone wholeheartedly is a once- in-a-lifetime experience… and the feeling is mutual. Big Sexy.