AMAZING!!!!!!
Mar
13
2014
smiffbib
socially acceptable f@#% off!
Articles for the Month of March 2014
Mar
12
2014
This week has gone to the dogs.
Mar
11
2014
Too Much
Something you have too much of…
I used to have too much hair… but it is slowly thinning out as I age… Nothing else thins out… just so we are clear… I have too much thigh… too much stomach… but that is okay… It makes me hard to kidnap… which I worry about way too much.
One might also suggest (one=me … without wanting to sound like I am complaining) Too much laundry… too much housework… too much time on the interwebs… too much nagging the smalls… too much advil… too much running through my head… too much eating out… Too many sweets… Too much laying awake at night.
Too Much is my middle name really… When it boils down to it.. the only thing I really have too much of is anxiety.
Time to spend too much time in my room filled with too much paint… and light way too much incense.. and light too many candles… and play too much music… and eat too much indian food… and watch too much Harry Potter… wear my pajamas too much… too much wine… no….and let go just enough.
Mar
10
2014
Fucking discouraged.
I know I shouldn’t be… I do not write this for anyone but myself… But I recently got some really great news about promoting my blog… and it ended up not working out… because I say fuck… a lot… and it isn’t very professional… and while I completely and totally respect the person and their decision … I do… I understand it completely… I work in Marketing for a huge company… I do all their socially media… I consult for other companies… I get it… I would not promote my own blog either through any professional venue… I still am having a hard time wanting to invest anytime in blogging on this blog this week… And well.. the truth is… I don’t have to. That is the benefit of not accepting advertisement… or promoting any product other than my own hilarity and quirky stories… I just had to say it out loud (or type it I suppose) … I can be serious people… I can be professional…
See… this is my serious face
But I guess the truth is… I don’t really need to promote my blog… I do not write on here for money… I do not write on here for any reason other than my head might explode if I don’t have somewhere to write… and I guess I got caught up in the fact that I got readers.. and followers… and thought it would be fun to have more…
Why?
I have the best ones already!!
Thanks for reading … even though I say fuck 🙂
Mar
07
2014
Fat Tuesday on Funday Friday :)
Technically this is just a bunch of Gibberish… but it makes me laugh… really there are even two morals to this story…. Bread and Butter Pickles are Nasty…. and Mr Amazing swears a lot when lacking sleep.
Mr. Amazing: today is dragging so bad that the day itself is literally sad
me: Its so sad its comfort eating… that is why its Fat Tuesday
Mr. Amazing: Fat Tuesday is literally a giant horrible sad monster baby crying for it’s mama
me: and its mama is a doughnut!
Mr. Amazing: literally
me: I want one
Mr. Amazing: I literally went out on a limb with that one
me: Bahahaha
Mr. Amazing: irregardless of the mama doughnut
me: We should get doughnuts
Mr. Amazing: LOL I am figuratively a horrible person
me: You are full of all the words
Mr. Amazing: irregardless literally bothers me to death
me: Your words make me wanna throat punch you
Mr. Amazing: so does “aint’ got none”
me: OH OH! how about “Aint nobody gots time fo dat!”
Mr. Amazing: one doughnut and a side of pithy sarcasm
me: instead- I am feeding you a hot dog for dinner… and your gonna like it
Mr. Amazing: use gonna like it
me: With chips on the side- I am literally not cooking shit
Mr. Amazing:good, because I really, really, really want to avoid you literally cooking shit
me: BAHAHAHA
Mr. Amazing: in fact, compared to literal shit, hot dogs seem pretty okay
me: Thats why I present it that, we helps with expectations
Mr. Amazing: Yes, thanks for lower my expectations to a reasonable (if not menial) level
me: I have hotdog buns… its a gourmet meal
Mr. Amazing: Oh yeah!
me: I dont even wanna eat the hot dogs
Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO Hows about with pickles and sauerkraut
me: Maybe with Sauerkraut but… even then im not so sure… maybe smothered in Nacho Cheese
Mr. Amazing: ROFLMAO that sounds nasty
me: I like cheese (Stating the obvious is my super power)
Mr. Amazing: General Obvious?
me: Ahem… Captain….Obviously
Mr. Amazing: Fine… Captain Obvious I got paid!
me: OH! (We still have to eat the hotdogs, or the buns will go stale)
Mr. Amazing: Okay But we can have dessert…. <evil laughter>
me: LOL! Actually- If you send me money… I might really go buy Saurkraut
Mr. Amazing: OMG – Day… Fucking END
me: 14 minutes
Mr. Amazing: Seriously, I am about to BITCH slap FAT Tuesday
me: ROTFLMAO!!! I CANNOT believe you just said that
Mr. Amazing: I am laughing at my desk like an idiot
me: Ditto
Mr. Amazing: Kerry… I can’t stop
me: Do you want chili for your hot dogs? You need sleep
Mr. Amazing: I want mustard
me: we have mustard
Mr. Amazing: and pickles
me: Uhhhh Im not sure where we are the pickle front
Mr. Amazing: cuz I think the we have the… “It’s a TRAP!!!”
pickles in the fridge the bread and butter tastes like shit evil pickles of doom
Fuck you Bread n’ Butter pickles… Fuck you….
me: ROTFLMAO! Gimme your monies! I will buy you pickles… and destroy the enemy ones
Mar
06
2014
How about a little Tori this week… seems fitting
Mar
05
2014
a week… in pictures
To celebrate Dr. Suess’s birthday we did the traditional Green Eggs and Ham (Turkey bacon at our house LOL)
It was my cute grandsons 2nd birthday that day as well… We said goodbye to a niece who is leaving to pursue some ridiculous religious freedom for a couple years…The smalls were not looking so small … and my FAVORITE political cartoonist was in the car right ahead of me at the intersection… LOVE!
