You know you’re getting old because…

My Red Dress Moment- In the Bloggess’s Red Dress 🙂

So next week is my 40th birthday. Funny… I don’t feel older.

Although if I’m honest, my body has been telling me, “Hey Kerry! You’re 40!” for the last year. I’ve gotten more injuries in the last year- my foot, my knee… Shit… I don’t even know what all happened. I just hurt. Why? Does it (it being this body) know that I’m turning 40?  I exercise more, eat less, weigh more… and care about it less!… I don’t lean over and pick something up unless it’s really important. Leaning over or squatting down takes an overwhelming amount of energy at age 40. I am constantly calculating “risk vs. reward.” A pencil? Nope. The dog can just chew it. A $20 bill? Maybe… My bills, my hair-loss and my check marks off that bucket list are all way more… My tolerance for teenage attitude… way lower!  I now get up twice every night to go to the bathroom… up from once a night, starting at age 30. At this rate I’m just going to save time by sleeping on the toilet at age 60!... Whenever I get a new game console… dvd player… anything…  I just give it to my kids to set it up for me…. I eat several different cereals… but they all have the word “Fiber” in the title.

Wow, I sound decrepit !

Sigh… life at 40.

Shit! Life at 40???

Life at 40… Alive at 40!!!  I know for a fact that cash bets were placed in high school on whether I would live to see the age of 21, which at the time seemed completely unfathomable…

Then I turned 25

Then 30…

I just kinda figured I was on a streak… kinda figured I would see what happened next…. and here we are.

p.s I didn’t demand that you make me a sammich… The world did… Do you want to hurt the credibility of the entire world? IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?