Sooooo I am still swimming in the sea of the funk… I haven’t wanted to write… if your a regular… you have been through these with me before.

I looked at the writing prompts for this week from …

big sigh… I just didn’t think I could do it… but I chose this one…

 Look into your archives. What were you blogging about a year ago around this time? Are you still dealing with the same thing? Your thoughts?

Suddenly… after reading through this  week last year…I feel a whole lot less crazy.

This year vs. last

Last Year – Being stuck in an insomniac filled panic attack ridden funk…. Check!

This Year – Being stuck in an insomniac filled panic attack ridden funk…. Check!

This year however I am not in as bad of shape with the knee,. In fact I am sometimes even making it to the gym… I said sometimes…  I am going way longer between night terrors <Knocking on ALL the woods right now> and my nights of insomnia are farther and fewer in between… even if I forget that in the midst of them… They feel scarier because they are less familiar… but the reality is… It is so much better!

Last year I didn’t care enough to try to get to the bottom of my panic attacks… I figured they were justified completely… considering all the going ons…

This year I cared. I cared too much. I had anxiety over having anxiety! I have made every attempt to alleviate it… these dread filled heart pounding hand shaking not sleeping short tempered disassociated moments… I have walked… talked… read… listened to music… painted… loosened up those expectations on myself …

Let’s read that again… I did those things!

I continued to read past that least week of April last year… and guess what… things got better… they go up and down… I go up and down… its what keeps me interesting… This will get better too…

Hey… hey you… I do not know if you are still reading this… I don’t think I came to really any kind of a point… There was no AHA! moment… no light at the end of the tunnel …This is horrible content for a blog… but it is the content of my life… So if you are still here… 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I wont forget either 🙂