from my cough drop… Thanks Halls 🙂
Feb
06
2013
smiffbib
socially acceptable f@#% off!
Articles for the Month of February 2013
Feb
05
2013
Small Child
I claim several as mine … But I’ve had the opportunity to name only one…
Small Child’s Father and I decided the second we found out …
Girl = My Choice
Boy=His (Mostly due to a family tradition of naming after the grandfather)
Ultra-Sound technician let us know at about 17 weeks that we were having a girl … I was a high – risk pregnancy … I was having non stress tests and Ultra – sounds weekly… Week 18 … Yep! a girl… I bought fairy wall stickers… I named her after a Russian Princess… I had the nickname all picked out… I was buying clothes like a mad woman… Cute pink clothes… Week 19…. Week 20… I couldn’t make this up you guys… honestly… “See this pearl strand is his spine… ” The cursor moving over the screen… “You mean her”… “No… you are having a boy” …. “NO… they said a girl”… cursor moves over the appropriate area “That is either the biggest Clitoris I have ever seen… or you are having a boy”…. I stared at the monitor… That was definitely a boy….
(Have I told this story before? I can not remember, and I am not going through 200 posts to see… That’s right… I hit the milestone of 200 posts… and 1 year… Woot… okay on with the story)
Tearfully returned all the pink… and the fairy… threw away the custom stitch diaper bag with the MOST BEAUTIFUL NAME in the whole wide world on it… replaced it all with tigger and pooh bear…
In the hospital .. about to deliver … Small Child’s father begins to panic… “I don’t know anyone named Keith that has ever amounted to anything” …. “You fathers name is Keith!” … “I want more for him” … and he went to every office in that facility and took a tally… the most common name for a Doctor at that time… in that place… it was a good name… and when he arrived it fit him perfectly… we signed it on his birth certificate … and I have threatened the life of anyone that tries to shorten it… those doctors plaques did not read John.
My miracle son…
Inspired by this weeks writing prompts- Share how you came up with your kids names!
Feb
04
2013
Earth to Kerry…
Messages from Last Sunday…
Sue: Earth to Kerry – Kerry are you down there somewhere?
Me: Here I am… Buried in snow!
Sue: I’m in the hospital gonna have another surgery on Sunday
Me: You are? On what?
Sue: I’m so fucking scared!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: What is the surgery on? Your knee?
Sue: On my knee to take out all the hardware from the replacement surgery
Me: Oh man.. That sounds painful
Sue: What do you think happens when you die?
Me: I think your soul is freed from the body and reunites with other familiar energies… And pranks those of us blinded by our physical bodies
I don’t think there is a single ounce of pain, or fear in the afterlife… Just a continuance of love
But I also think that you aren’t going anywhere yet
Sue: and what happens to evil people?
Me: I think that when freed from the body, the guilt of what they realize and the lack of loved ones makes them alone in the dark.
Sue: I SURE wish I could believe like you
I need to update my status and let family know whats a happening. Wanna write it for me?
Me: Yes I do…say this
Held hostage in hospital, they want my knee as payment! Send licorice
I love you sweetheart. I’m just trying to cheer you up
Sue: I wish you were here!
Me: I would have licorice!
Sue: LOL
Me: Okay woman, I have to go shovel two feet of snow… I will check on you in bit okay?
<at midnight Sunday the following message came in>
Danielle from Sue’s account : Hey Kerry, mom isn’t doing too well… She went into cardiac arrest today and is in critical condition. They did CPR for 20 mins and are sure there was some degree of brain injury… We don’t know exactly what caused it and haven’t got to see her yet they have her on a lot of machines right now.. Hopefully we will hear more soon
Me: Okay sweetie, praying for her.
Danielle from Sue’s account : They just said the prognosis doesn’t look good
Me: That breaks my heart… I’m hoping for the best
<6 am message>
Danielle from Sue’s account :Mom passed away a little after 4am
I shared this for a couple reasons… one being I wanted to keep it…. to remember my last conversation with my dear friend … the second being a sweet reminder that you never know… and you cant say you ‘I love you” too much…. Third and Last – It seems a little cliche doesn’t it? Her asking me that one week prior? But it happened? How did she know?
I want to know what you think happens when we die?
Feb
01
2013
Woot!
Feb
01
2013
… This is a post in self defense!
So for a few days now I have been trying to come up with something really amazing to post… My 200th post is SO CLOSE and well… did you hear me? 200 POSTS! (almost)
I tried to remember what life was like before smiffbib… and I really couldn’t … Much like when a child enters your life… I suppose in all reality… it is my BABY!
I think back to my time blogging on Smiffbib…. It’s been almost a year of reflecting… opining… and sharing many cups of coffee with you… my dear readers… Whoever the hell you are… while we’ve chatted about life and everything in between.
And over that time… I feel like a part of my life has actually changed directly as a result of this blogging experience….
Laughing at myself isn’t something I’ve had too much trouble doing over the years … Things that were once kept in the dark recesses of my rapidly fading memory are now on full public display for all to enjoy at my expense… and the pressure of this magical post quickly began to weigh on me… stress me out… how could I ever put it into words how much this all means to me… when it is all complete nonsense? I actually shed a tear trying to find a way to express everything it is to me… everything it means… words aren’t enough…
So I decided to call it off… 200 is no big deal…. HAPPY 199 BABY!
I get some sort of gift for this don’t I???