If you’ve been reading this for a while, you know that I make a half assed attempt to write one of Mama Kat’s writing prompts from her writers workshop each week… well… because she is amazing… and two… I love the opportunities to work these stories into my blog, and just when I couldn’t come up with any other legitimate reason to use the word “clit” in my blog… this week… It happened… she gave me that reason… And I couldn’t pass it up… But there was another prompt that also made me smile when I read it… So I am writing both…
1.) Is your child a morning person? Share a story, picture or list of reasons that supports your opinion.
2.) I almost named my child _______, but chose _______ instead because…
It’s a BOGO… Buy One Get One…. even though you didn’t really buy anything at all… and chances are you are going to find these stories less hilarious and endearing than I do… well because he is Mine… and I love him
I Almost named my child “Tattianna Dawn”, But chose Johnathon instead because… About my fourth ultra sound at 21 weeks (I was a very High Risk Pregnancy, having miscarried several before, and being told I would never have a child) the Ultrasound technician said… “and this little line of pearls are his spine”… “hers” I corrected… they had told me two times with two previous ultra sounds that it was a girl… I had bought the fairy wall paper trim… and had the diaper bag embroidered with her name… and put up the wall stickers… and bought the crib bedding .. and bumpers… and “No, His” she corrected me… “They said it was a girl” I repeated calmly… monotone…. menacingly… “Well…” Zooms in on vital organ… “That is either the biggest clit I have ever seen… or you are having a boy” and I stared in awe at the monitor… and exchanged everything tearfully for Winnie the pooh … the tears of sadness and exchanging of pink for blue were exchanged for tears of joy only nine weeks later (very early) when my healthy little (really little 5pd) boy arrived and I never ever would’ve imagined having him be anyone else….
<Spongebob Voice> Thirteen Years Later
(almost… thirteen years in about 6 weeks! from this morning!!)
6:30 am – Open Door “Good Morning sweet boy! Wake up! Last week of School”
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” Gutteral groan, full of drool gurgles… burrows deeper into bed
“Get up! We don’t want to be late”
“Unnnngggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh” Gutteral groan,lifts pillow… Buries head under it
I walk over to the bed and rub the small of his back… His knees are tucked up under him… still… just like I have found him every morning since I can remember… Butt in the air…. I smooth back his once baby soft blonde hair, that is now course and thick… and still the color of straw away from his face and look at his perfect little squinched eyes… beautiful skin with one almond-shaped freckle on his nose (it really is almond-shaped… I didn’t know that happened) and I pull out the Mom voice “Dude”….. A smile spreads across that face… because he knows he has gotten under my skin… “Now”…
“Grrrrrrrr” flings the pillow at the cat that is sleeping at his feet and glares at the window and the light coming through it… as if asking “How dare the sun rise”…. tosses back his covers… and I exit the room… running into Mr Amazing in the hall….
“There is a Zombie in there this morning”
“Uhhhhhhhhhggggggg!!!” from behind the shut door…. Small Child is not a morning person.
