Picture if you will… the night I ran out of bed in my sleep…. The first time successfully since being married… Mr. Amazing caught me… but not before my hands were on the ground in the two foot distance between my side of the bed and the wall… My legs tangled into some mess of halfway still on the bed… and knees touching the carpet… Mr. Amazing has me by the shirt… and quickly scoops an arm around my waste pulling me back into bed… back into his arms… and back to sleep…. Picture if you will the next two weeks of me pretending nothing is wrong… that maybe it is arthritis showing up.. the weather is all over the place… and they did say when I got older the knees would suffer from that roll over… or that time I was hit by the car…. But I finally decided to have it checked… you know… make sure it’s not some bone cancer hanging out there or something…. skip forward a couple of office visits… because the knee and its injury is not the story here…
Picture if you will… Mr. Amazings sister… (she is going to need a name… hmmmph… lets call her crazy pants… because thats what I call Mr amazing when he wears my penguin pajama pants… and well… its his little sister… whom is the object of much adoration from all of us…)
Picture if you will … Crazy Pants and Small Child coming along… because they gave me a Valium to get through the MRI… and require me to have a ride home… I pop said little pill… and don’t really feel anything but calm…. I lay in the white chamber… comfy and the voice in my ear says they will play me some music and its okay if I doze off… and I laugh to myself… because this machine makes crazy electronic noises… and jiggle randomly… and I’m an insomniac… and ….
SCREAMING!!!! the screams seem to be coming from my toes and traveling up and out my mouth for the range on them…. Flailing of untethered limbs… the face of a very distraught… bordering on terrified imaging technician… more of them entering the room swiftly…. sudden awareness of where I am and what must have happened slams into my thoughts… like my face hitting a wall… I leap off the table… ask if they got the MRI done… they did… I assure them I am fine… and walk past them all to get dressed again…
They stand outside my changing room… are you okay.. how do you feel… are you doing okay…. I am trying to reassure them at record pace… quickly before they decide they are going to tell crazy pants… who has no idea… I get out into the waiting area quick as I can… and there is the very shaken looking imaging tech telling her not to leave me alone… make sure if I sleep someone is right there… he thinks it is the Valium… he doesn’t know this who I am… Crazy Pants looks terrified as we walk to the car… I try to laugh… I try to joke it off… I tell her “you should have seen their faces”… and laugh… I’m already dialing Mr. Amazing… forcing him to tell her I am okay… and can be left alone…. All I want is to be left alone to process this…
Its been two days… I still cry every time I think about it… I can’t sleep…
I have a sick sense of humor about it all…
