Friday Flashback!!! ( I say that like it a theme… or a real thing… it’s not) I just found an old post I had written about the night Mr. Amazing proposed to me…
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
In the middle of Suicide awareness week… approaching all the 9/11 memorial images flashing across the web… 1 week before my 38th birthday… I would like to pause… and tell a love story…Sunday night… 8 pm, I finally … Stop focusing on the self loathing… and the injustices…. resentments… insecurities… fears… I finally agree to a night out… Just the two of us… There is a Super Nova! We will never see anything like this again… We pack an ill-gotten telescope (Ill gotten because I was ill over what was spent on it) and swing through Walgreen’s for canned coffee (this was before I discovered the magic beans … Addicted to Coffee ), and gummy coke bottles (find some, trust me)… and we set off driving through the desert… These moments are so rare… Rare just the two of us… and we talk, about ridiculous things… we cringe a little over insecurities… Walk through every horrible past relationship we have had and make comparisons to the relationship we have now.. we discuss our isms….
Then, on some god forsaken road… in some crazy little town… we stop… We get out… Careful not to shut the doors, you know… incase the boogie man comes… and we laugh… and we giggle… and we ooohhh and ahhhh at the night sky… He fumbles with the telescope… trying in the dark to make it work… We take turns down on the pavement, trying to see anything in the great black vastness of space… We line it up with the google stars app… but to no avail… we hide in the car as another vehicle passes… prepared to run… leaving the telescope … if they are the dreaded mass murders that always find stupid young kids in the middle of no where… I sit in the back of the hatch back… he sits on the ground… cursing the telescope… and I am laughing hysterically as the clouds set in… making the stars invisible to the naked eye… even the moon… and he is so frustrated…
… and I tell him he really is the best thing that has ever happened to me… and he stops… crawls across the pavement on hands and knees… and kisses me.. and tells me he is so glad I think so… and asks me to marry him… Ring in hand… I think I said the word yes… I believe if not, my kisses confirmed that I wanted too… I so want too… I slip the ring on my finger… I cannot see it in the dark… I am ridiculously crazy in love with him… we have a lot to get through… telling the kids… telling the exes (oh god.. the crazy other parents of our children)… Figuring out logistics… convincing me, that 38 isn’t too old… and the world isn’t too horrible… and I deserve to be happy and healthy … and Forgetting everything else… I will leave this one as the love story 🙂
